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Sperm Donor Pays Maintenance To Lesbians
The Telegraph (UK) ^ | 12-3-2007 | Graham Tibbetts

Posted on 12/03/2007 10:10:13 PM PST by blam

Sperm donor pays maintenance to lesbians

By Graham Tibbetts
Last Updated: 8:42pm GMT 03/12/2007

A sperm donor who helped a lesbian couple have two children is now being forced to pay thousands of pounds for their upbringing, he said.

Andy Bathie, 37, agreed to assist Sharon and Terri Arnold - who were united in a religious blessing ceremony - after they assured him he would have no involvement in raising the boy and girl.

Andy Bathie: Legal challenge

But after the couple split up he was tracked down by the Child Support Agency and forced to make regular maintenance payments.

Mr Bathie, a fireman from Enfield, north London, said the financial burden was preventing him from starting his own family.

"These women wanted to be parents and take on all the responsibilities that brings. I would never have agreed to this unless they had been living as a committed family. And now I can't afford to have children with my own wife - it's crippling me financially," he said.

He is now bringing a legal challenge to remove his responsibilities as a parent to the two children in a case believed to be the first of its kind.

Mr Bathie, who pays £450 a month in maintenance, cannot afford to employ a solicitor or barrister to take up his case but will approach his local MP, Joan Ryan, in the hope she can highlight his plight in the Commons.

He is seeking a retrospective change in the law that would place paternal responsibility on Sharon Arnold, who was the non-biological mother in the lesbian relationship.

Mr Bathie was approached by the couple five years ago after they had unsuccessfully asked other male friends, but no formal legal arrangement was put in place.

Last November he was astonished to be contacted by the CSA, who demanded payments and ordered him to take a £400 paternity test to prove he was the father.

He has only met his offspring on a couple of occasions.

"When they (Terri and Sharon) first approached me I did look into the legal side and understood that as a couple they would be the parents, not me. I was never 'Daddy'," he told a newspaper.

"The only reason these children are here is because they wanted children as a couple which means they should take responsibility. The CSA admit that mine is an unusual case - this is double standards and I'm having money stolen by the Government."

At the time of the donation, Mr Bathie was in a relationship with a woman who had been sterilised and was not planning to have children. He has since married another woman.

The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority said that private sperm donors are liable financially unless they donate through a licensed clinic.

"We would warn men providing genetic material that the only time they are not the father is when they donate through a licensed fertility clinic. This does not apply to unlicensed websites or home insemination," said a spokesman.

Natalie Gamble, a fertility law expert at Lester Aldridge who advised Mr Bathie recently, said the non-biological mother in the lesbian relationship currently had no legal responsibility for the children's upbringing.

"At the moment she has no responsibility at all, which seems rather unfair. She ought to have some responsibility towards the children she has helped bring into the world," she said.

The Government is seeking to reform the legislation to give equal parenting rights to same-sex couples who form civil partnerships.

Had it been in place when Mr Bathie donated sperm it would have meant his right as a father would have passed to the non-biological mother.

Mrs Gamble said the law was becoming obsolete as a result of changes to the family structure.

"Lots of women and same-sex couples are having children through home insemination, because its cheaper, or they want somebody to have involvement in the child's upbringing or because they want to know who the father is.

"But the law is struggling to keep up with these modern scenarios. Until things go wrong it's difficult to say how the law applies."

She urged would-be parents and donors to ensure they have an agreement in place so all parties are aware of their rights and responsibilities.

Sharon and Terri Arnold could not be contacted for comment.


TOPICS: News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: donor; lesbians; maintenance; sperm
I'm reminded of David Crosby and Melissa Ethridge.

David Crosby's A Daddy

1 posted on 12/03/2007 10:10:15 PM PST by blam
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To: blam

Serves him right for participating in such an unholy alliance in the first place.

You reap what you sow...literally


2 posted on 12/03/2007 10:16:13 PM PST by Wil H
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To: blam

“A fool and his ________ are soon parted.”


3 posted on 12/03/2007 10:16:56 PM PST by PetroniusMaximus
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To: Wil H

“serves him right”

ditto that!


4 posted on 12/03/2007 10:17:57 PM PST by freeangel ( (free speech is only good until someone else doesn't like what you say))
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To: blam
Lesson : If two women approach you and say they want your sperm STOP! Let them finish what they are saying. If it involves a cup and tubes and a lab somewhere then just walk right back into that pub.
5 posted on 12/03/2007 10:18:10 PM PST by Eyes Unclouded (We won't ever free our guns but be sure we'll let them triggers go....)
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To: blam

There’s a sucker born every minute.

These two parasites will probably bleed enough dough from this one that he will never be able to afford a family of his own should he ever want one.


6 posted on 12/03/2007 10:29:43 PM PST by Navy Patriot (The hyphen American with the loudest whine gets the grease.)
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To: blam
There are losers, there are Losers and then there are Losers.
7 posted on 12/03/2007 10:34:01 PM PST by VR-21
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To: Navy Patriot
"These two parasites will probably bleed enough dough from this one that he will never be able to afford a family of his own should he ever want one"

Uh,the two lesbians wanted to show they are a "real family" just like heterosexual couples. Why don't they freakin' ACT like one and take responsibility themselves?

8 posted on 12/03/2007 10:36:02 PM PST by boop (Who doesn't love poison pot pies?)
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To: blam
home insemination

Does this mean what I think it means?

9 posted on 12/03/2007 10:37:46 PM PST by Rightwing Conspiratr1
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To: blam

The poor kids.

The guy has already “started a family.” A messed up and dysfunctional mess, but he did indeed start one.


10 posted on 12/03/2007 10:45:42 PM PST by Marie2 (I used to be disgusted. . .now I try to be amused.)
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To: boop
Why don't they freakin' ACT like one and take responsibility themselves?

Lesbos are one of the modern leftie entitlement groups.

They are entitled to things like equal or more respect for their lifestyle, gay marriage, equal or more input on how YOUR child is educated, equal or more input on how YOUR taxes are spent on programs benefiting only queers, equal or more input on veto power over health code regulations controlling queers, and, of course, they are ENTITLED to Bathie's money (and YOURS) even more than he is.

That's why.

11 posted on 12/03/2007 10:51:36 PM PST by Navy Patriot (The hyphen American with the loudest whine gets the grease.)
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To: blam

Maybe someone as stupid as this guy shouldn’t be allowed to reproduce anymore....... it may be a “blessing in disguise” that he cannot afford a family now.


12 posted on 12/03/2007 11:01:36 PM PST by Enchante (Democrat terror-fighting motto: "BLEAT - CHEAT - RETREAT - DEFEAT - REPEAT")
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To: blam
It ain't nice to fool Mother Nature

but think of the devastation of so many innocent children that will be happening -

13 posted on 12/03/2007 11:45:35 PM PST by maine-iac7 (",,,but you can't fool all of the people all the time" LINCOLN)
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To: blam

what a degenerate mess


14 posted on 12/03/2007 11:57:52 PM PST by wardaddy (I had to refrain my wife from throwing herslef at Jack White's feet today here in Nashville)
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To: blam
Mr Bathie was approached by the couple five years ago after they had unsuccessfully asked other male friends...

My congratulations to the unnamed "other male friends". Very good judgement, very reponsible, very prudent. Too bad Mr. Bathie didn't follow your example.

15 posted on 12/04/2007 12:58:27 AM PST by TheMole
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To: blam

If God had meant for two women to get married and raise a family, He would have made one of them a man. Oh...WAIT...He did.


16 posted on 12/04/2007 1:27:21 AM PST by kitkat (I refuse to let the DUers chase me off FR.)
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To: blam

“...now I can’t afford to have children with my own wife”

It’s no loss to have this fool’s gene pool dry up.


17 posted on 12/04/2007 4:05:09 AM PST by kittymyrib
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To: Rightwing Conspiratr1
Does this mean what I think it means?

They said it's cheaper, I can't think of a cheaper way.

18 posted on 12/04/2007 4:19:12 AM PST by Joe Miner
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To: blam

Andy, Andy, Andy ~ you’ve gotta have a license to shoot that thing.


19 posted on 12/04/2007 4:22:18 AM PST by shove_it (and have a nice day)
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To: Wil H

They are not a couple, and he was an idiot to treat them as such.

I hope this little incident prevents other men from assisting womyn in raising screwed up kids.


20 posted on 12/04/2007 4:24:41 AM PST by fetal heart beats by 21st day (Defending human life is not a federalist issue. It is the business of all of humanity.)
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To: blam
What I find interesting about this is that the government pursued the biological father rather than the second lesbian “father”.

Could it be they are admitting marriage is between a man and woman? Could it be they’re admitting it requires a man and woman to raise a family?

Naw. This is just further persecution of evil men.

21 posted on 12/04/2007 4:33:42 AM PST by ryan71
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To: blam

If Sharon wanted to play the man, she should get the full experience. Make her pay.


22 posted on 12/04/2007 4:36:36 AM PST by NonValueAdded (Fred Dalton Thompson for President)
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To: blam

He was not annonymous.


23 posted on 12/04/2007 4:36:56 AM PST by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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To: blam
Sharon and Terri Arnold - who were united in a religious blessing ceremony

I now pronounce you ... Man and Wife!

24 posted on 12/04/2007 4:37:05 AM PST by agere_contra (Do not confuse the wealth of nations with the wealth of government - FDT)
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To: blam
So, the father? in a lesbian marriage gets off scot-free and the sperm donor has to pay. I wonder why sperm donors in conventional marriages don’t have to pay. Husbands have been count ordered to pay for babies that are not theirs.
25 posted on 12/04/2007 5:40:41 AM PST by seemoAR
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To: seemoAR
"So, the father? in a lesbian marriage gets off scot-free and the sperm donor has to pay. I wonder why sperm donors in conventional marriages don’t have to pay. Husbands have been count ordered to pay for babies that are not theirs."

Who does the paying probably coorelates best with straight White male than any other term. (They have it coming to them!)

26 posted on 12/04/2007 7:03:42 AM PST by blam (Secure the border and enforce the law)
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To: seemoAR
Don’t know how the law works in England, but there has been atleast one paternity case here in the US where the judge ruled the “father” had to continue to pay child support despite the fact he was proven by DNA testing not to be the father. The reasoning was that the child still had to be supported and he had had sexual relations with the mother at sometime prior to the child’s birth. That was “close enough” in the judge’s mind to sustain the man’s obligation to continue playing child support for a child that was not biologically his.

As Clint Eastwood tersely remarked in “Unforgiven,”:

“Who said anything about fair?”

27 posted on 12/04/2007 7:36:59 AM PST by Captain Rhino ( If we have the WILL to do it, there is nothing built in China that we cannot do without.)
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