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University Research Study: Santa Claus story is detrimental to child development.
rb ver. 2.0 ^ | 12/4/07 | rb ver. 2.0 satire

Posted on 12/04/2007 7:01:00 PM PST by Rb ver. 2.0

Research Study: Santa Claus story is detrimental to child development

BERKELEY, Ca—The story of jolly Santa with his “Ho-Ho-Ho”, Elf workers, North Pole toy factory, and admonition that “you’d better be good”, is no longer an innocent children’s tale. Instead, it is a sinister story of sexual innuendo, labor exploitation and a blatant ignorance of global warming, so says a team of sociologists at the University of California at Berkeley.

The Berkeley team recently submitted it’s findings in a report at the National Children’s Sociology Symposium after two years of painstaking research evaluating hundreds of Santa and Winter Holiday related storybooks, movies and videos.

“There are multiple issues of the Santa story tradition that we believe are detrimental to correct and normal child development” said Ms. Hillary Huma-Humpur, Phd. a professor of sociology.

“The Don Imus-Rutgers incident exposed the slang term ‘Ho’ to the general public as a slur for ‘whore’. Santa’s dialogue in any conversation begins or ends in ‘Ho, Ho Ho!’ and the probability of a child having been exposed to the Imus story is greater than not. Santa’s favorite euphemism could be construed to have an alternate meaning which could confuse a child”, Dr. Huma-Humpur said. “There might be a question in a child’s mind that Santa is spending time with a bunch of prostitutes”, she added.

And what about the Elves working all year in Santa’s workshop building toys and harvesting candy canes?

“It’s worker exploitation pure and simple. Many of the children’s Winter Holiday books we read or videos we watched showed the Elves working around the clock without the benefit of a break time or meal time”, said Dr. Huma-Humpur.

One of the favorite children’s classics, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, “shows unsafe working conditions with dangerous tools left carelessly laying around the shop, workers standing on each other’s shoulders and using unstable ladders to hang stars on trees. Generally, there is a complete lack of worker safety being exhibited. Were it real, OSHA would shut it down in a heartbeat. Children need to understand that workers have the right to a safe work environment and to join a union”, She said.

Dr. Huma-Humpur continued, “Children mimic what they read and what they see. A little Elf with a 5lb hammer banging on wooden pegs might seem innocent in the context of the North Pole Toy Factory but if a child found a real hammer and began beating on things it could result in injury to themself or other children”.

The report cites two more issues which is says “are critical to correct and normal child development”.

Cynthia Hollingsworth Smelford-Britlington, a graduate researcher on the project studied the self-esteem issue. “ Most Santa stories tell that only good children get toys the morning of December 25th while bad children get a lump of coal. “What happens to the child when it knows that it’s been bad? The angst and worry about not being rewarded like all the other children on Winter Holiday morning is detrimental to a positive and healthy self- esteem”, she said.

And the lump of coal? “That is by far the most insidious facet of the Santa story given our present Global Warming climate crisis”, Ms. Hollingsworth Smelford-Britlington said.

“Coal is the number one contributor to global warming pollution and is constantly reported in the news in a negative way. To tell a child that they may be given something that is killing polar bears and penguins is grossly irresponsible. And, furthermore, children are being taught in school that the polar ice is melting. How does a child reconcile the hope and dreams of presents from the North Pole toy factory with the reality that the North Pole is melting?”, she added.

Frosty the Snow Man, another other holiday book that was evaluated was actually given praise in the report as it contains a message about the seriousness of Global Warming.

“Frosty melts towards the end of the movie and the climate is shown as the cause. This is reinforcement of the climate change science that is taught in today’s schools, which is commendable.”, said Ms. Hollingsworth Smelford-Britlington.

The report runs 610 pages and was funded by a Federal university grant for child development issues.


TOPICS: Extended News; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: itssatirestupid; ohnohediditagain; santa; satire
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Oh, the humanity!
1 posted on 12/04/2007 7:01:03 PM PST by Rb ver. 2.0
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

How did I ever survive believing in Santa Clause...and the fun it was...


2 posted on 12/04/2007 7:02:31 PM PST by JoanneSD (illegals represented without taxation.. Americans taxed without representation)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

of course this crap comes from Berkeley.


3 posted on 12/04/2007 7:02:33 PM PST by SandRat (Duty, Honor, Country. What else needs to be said?)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

BWAAAAAHHHHHH


4 posted on 12/04/2007 7:05:05 PM PST by Bradís Gramma (Mother of the Bride here, treat me with respect for once, will ya? ;))
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

I am still looking for the Scrappleface heading on this one.


5 posted on 12/04/2007 7:05:15 PM PST by pfflier
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To: Rb ver. 2.0
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

6 posted on 12/04/2007 7:06:16 PM PST by Chode (American Hedonist)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

This article is just a joke though, right? Right?

Dear god, they have lost their minds.....


7 posted on 12/04/2007 7:07:52 PM PST by Steak
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

Uncle Marx’s or Uncle Mao’s story, however, would be beneficial to child development. /s


8 posted on 12/04/2007 7:08:35 PM PST by paudio
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

You forgot to type “THIS IS SATIRE” in eight foot tall letters.

Hillary Huma-Humpur?

Great job, funny article!


9 posted on 12/04/2007 7:08:54 PM PST by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: Steak

Has to be, DR. Hillary Huma-Humpur....LOL


10 posted on 12/04/2007 7:10:02 PM PST by ElevenB
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

And all this time I’ve been screwed, though I never realized it.


11 posted on 12/04/2007 7:10:23 PM PST by Mr Ramsbotham (Laws against sodomy are honored in the breech.)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0
there are SO many things wrong here...."ignorance of global warming"..."winter holiday morning"...

but THIS:

The report runs 610 pages and was funded by a Federal university grant

is the worst.

12 posted on 12/04/2007 7:10:59 PM PST by ZinGirl
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

LOL. You had me going for the first few sentences because it seemed so believable, so perfectly typical of Beserkley leftists.......

fwiw, I once bore tremendous resentment toward Santa Claus fairy tales, when I was around 8 years old (when I found out Santa Claus was “not real”). I was so furious with being deceived that I promptly told my younger sister (3 years younger, so probably 5 at the time). It broke her heart and I felt momentarily like I’d done a great service for “truth” until I saw the effect on her, then I felt ashamed for having spoiled it all for her........ true confession from 40 years ago, never before revealed. :^)


13 posted on 12/04/2007 7:10:59 PM PST by Enchante (Democrat terror-fighting motto: "BLEAT - CHEAT - RETREAT - DEFEAT - REPEAT")
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

Does Berkeley, CA have any relevance to American life?


14 posted on 12/04/2007 7:11:00 PM PST by wastedyears (One Marine vs. 550 consultants. Sounds like good odds to me.)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

Outstanding satire.

Of course my fav character is Ms. Hillary Huma-Humpur. LOL!!

BUMP!


15 posted on 12/04/2007 7:12:47 PM PST by upchuck (Hildabeaste as Prez... unimaginable, devastating misery! She will redefine "How bad can it get?")
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To: Grizzled Bear

good grief....I could have used the THIS IS SATIRE in 9-ft letters! apparently, I wouldn’t have seen it even if it were at 8 feet.


16 posted on 12/04/2007 7:13:21 PM PST by ZinGirl
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

Well, sounds like someone needs to see “Miracle on 34th Street”....


17 posted on 12/04/2007 7:13:53 PM PST by MHT
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

Berkeley detrimental to mental health.


18 posted on 12/04/2007 7:14:23 PM PST by purpleraine
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To: Rb ver. 2.0
University Research Study: Santa Claus story is detrimental to child development.

May as well come back to the thread and not FR beginning threads.

19 posted on 12/04/2007 7:14:45 PM PST by Buddy B (MSgt Retired-USAF)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0
Yeah, that whole Santa thing really screwed up my whole life but it was those three wise men that REALLY scared me. Especially the tall one he looked so wise...and tall.

...I’ll never be the same. (sarc)

20 posted on 12/04/2007 7:14:59 PM PST by sierrahome (Hillary Clinton "America's Ex-Wife")
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

Who authorized spending money on this kind of research, anyway?


21 posted on 12/04/2007 7:15:24 PM PST by Clintonfatigued (You can't be serious about national security unless you're serious about border security)
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To: Buddy B

Ah, live and learn!


22 posted on 12/04/2007 7:15:25 PM PST by Rb ver. 2.0 (Global warming is the new Marxism.)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

Good one! Were you just trying to beat the Berserkleys to the punch? LOL

Wouldn’t surprise me a bit to find out folks just like the ones in your “article” are wasting taxpayer money on just such a study.


23 posted on 12/04/2007 7:15:57 PM PST by abigailsmybaby (I was born with nothing. So far I have most of it left.)
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To: Enchante

My sister was angry with me for insisting santa was real and getting her to “fall for it” when she was older. So you never know. I know she still feels about it because she still occaisionally brings it up, and never told her kids Santa was real at all.

I think I found the best solution, though. When my boys first asked me if Santa was real, I told them we PRETEND he’s real, because it’s so much fun. For years, even when my kids were 10 and 12, we set out cookies and such, because we were playing the “Santa game”. If I slipped, they would rebuke me, “Mom, you have to pretend!”


24 posted on 12/04/2007 7:17:22 PM PST by I still care ("Remember... for it is the doom of men that they forget" - Merlin, from Excalibur)
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To: Steak; All

The jokes on us.

:The report runs 610 pages and was funded by a Federal university grant for child development issues.”


25 posted on 12/04/2007 7:17:42 PM PST by art_rocks
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To: ZinGirl; Rb ver. 2.0

I wouldn’t have seen it even if it were at 8 feet.


The problem is it’s too close to reality!


26 posted on 12/04/2007 7:17:56 PM PST by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: SandRat

I believed in Santa, the Easter Bunny and Hobgoblins and made it to the ripe old age of 61 without any major problems. And the melting of Frosty didn’t bother me at all … knew he would be back next snowfall … ;-)


27 posted on 12/04/2007 7:18:01 PM PST by doc1019 (Fred Thompson '08)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

Well that’s just a pile of stinking BS.


28 posted on 12/04/2007 7:19:09 PM PST by gracesdad
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To: Rb ver. 2.0
I would say that global warming stories are MORE detrimental
29 posted on 12/04/2007 7:20:24 PM PST by PeterPrinciple ( Seeking the truth here folks.)
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To: I still care

In our house as the kids got older and figured it out, it became a rite of passage as they were then allowed to stay up and help set everything out.
My oldest son however held onto the belief longer than the others. When his friends would tell him that his parents were Santa, he replied...”No they arent ..there has to be a Santa. My parents cant afford all those toys and presents.”

I still remind him that I cant afford him. LOL


30 posted on 12/04/2007 7:21:12 PM PST by donnab (saving liberal brains...one moron at a time.)
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To: SandRat

READ CAREFULLY


TOPICS: Extended News; Political Humor/Cartoons; Click to Add Topic

KEYWORDS: itssatirestupid; ohnohediditagain; satire; Click to Add Keyword


31 posted on 12/04/2007 7:21:33 PM PST by Chickensoup (If it is not permitted, it is prohibited. Only the government can permit....)
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To: Clintonfatigued; Rb ver. 2.0
Who authorized spending money on this kind of research, anyway?

As I understand it; a high up official in the Department of Education, Dr Hugh Jahz (who happens to be Dr Hillary Huma-Humpur’s half-brother) was directly involved with the funding. Senator Haywood J. Belowmi used his committee influence to force approval.

32 posted on 12/04/2007 7:22:22 PM PST by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: donnab

My parents cant afford all those toys and presents.”

My oldest said to a friend who was trying to convince her otherwise: Of course there is a Santa! Do you think our parents would buy us all the great toys?


33 posted on 12/04/2007 7:23:20 PM PST by Chickensoup (If it is not permitted, it is prohibited. Only the government can permit....)
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To: Chickensoup

34 posted on 12/04/2007 7:23:26 PM PST by SandRat (Duty, Honor, Country. What else needs to be said?)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

UC Berkley Research Study is detrimental to child development.


35 posted on 12/04/2007 7:24:07 PM PST by peggybac (Tolerance is the virtue of believing in nothing)
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To: art_rocks

“The report runs 610 pages and was funded by a Federal university grant for child development issues.””

It is SATIRE.

FICTIONAL.

DONE FOR FUN.

NOT REAL.

(but it coulda been true. Considering the output from that institution of insanity)


36 posted on 12/04/2007 7:24:39 PM PST by UCANSEE2 (- Attention all planets of the solar Federation--Secret plan codeword: Banana)
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To: Grizzled Bear

LOL! I’m laughing harder at the replies than I did when writing the piece!


37 posted on 12/04/2007 7:25:14 PM PST by Rb ver. 2.0 (Global warming is the new Marxism.)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0
There is a Santa Clause at Berkeley.
38 posted on 12/04/2007 7:30:24 PM PST by Buddy B (MSgt Retired-USAF)
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To: Grizzled Bear
The problem is it’s too close to reality!

ain't that the truth.

(P.S. thank you for your service!)

39 posted on 12/04/2007 7:31:50 PM PST by ZinGirl
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

Yup, Santa ruined my life. I’ve been on a crack binge since age 6.


40 posted on 12/04/2007 7:36:11 PM PST by taxed2death (A few billion here, a few trillion there...we're all friends right?)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

And the whole “He knows when you’ve been sleeping, he knows when you’re awake...” theme is just preparing children to be subservient to domestic spying by the CIA and NSA. Santa contracts the sleigh to the National Reconnaissance Office for the other 364 days a year.


41 posted on 12/04/2007 7:36:55 PM PST by KarlInOhio (Government is the hired help - not the boss. When politicians forget that they must be fired.)
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To: ZinGirl

Thank you for your kindness!


42 posted on 12/04/2007 7:37:58 PM PST by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: KarlInOhio

“Santa contracts the sleigh to the National Reconnaissance Office for the other 364 days a year.”

So that’s how George Bush 41 got over to Paris to meet with the Iranians!


43 posted on 12/04/2007 7:45:02 PM PST by Rb ver. 2.0 (Global warming is the new Marxism.)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0
Great work!

Particularly like the names.

44 posted on 12/04/2007 7:45:46 PM PST by 2111USMC
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To: SandRat
From what I understand, Berkeley's a great school, except for the sociology and education departments that garnered the "Bizerkely" moniker for the institution.

What they ought to do is move those departments to whatever passes for the Oakland Community College.

Let them prove their theories and methods by turning Oakland in to a world class civilized city, and then consider letting the departments back on campus.

45 posted on 12/04/2007 7:51:08 PM PST by Calvin Locke
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

Dude, give up on the satirically challenged conservatives!


46 posted on 12/04/2007 7:53:38 PM PST by Revolting cat! (We all need someone we can bleed on...)
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To: Revolting cat!

Never!


47 posted on 12/04/2007 7:54:51 PM PST by Rb ver. 2.0 (Global warming is the new Marxism.)
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To: wastedyears

More total bullsh*t from our useless universities.


48 posted on 12/04/2007 7:55:18 PM PST by sonic109
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

Read the post right after yours and cry!


49 posted on 12/04/2007 7:56:11 PM PST by Revolting cat! (We all need someone we can bleed on...)
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To: Revolting cat!

LOL! That’s the fun of it, though.


50 posted on 12/04/2007 7:56:43 PM PST by Rb ver. 2.0 (Global warming is the new Marxism.)
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