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University Research Study: Santa Claus story is detrimental to child development.
rb ver. 2.0 ^ | 12/4/07 | rb ver. 2.0 satire

Posted on 12/04/2007 7:01:00 PM PST by Rb ver. 2.0

Research Study: Santa Claus story is detrimental to child development

BERKELEY, Ca—The story of jolly Santa with his “Ho-Ho-Ho”, Elf workers, North Pole toy factory, and admonition that “you’d better be good”, is no longer an innocent children’s tale. Instead, it is a sinister story of sexual innuendo, labor exploitation and a blatant ignorance of global warming, so says a team of sociologists at the University of California at Berkeley.

The Berkeley team recently submitted it’s findings in a report at the National Children’s Sociology Symposium after two years of painstaking research evaluating hundreds of Santa and Winter Holiday related storybooks, movies and videos.

“There are multiple issues of the Santa story tradition that we believe are detrimental to correct and normal child development” said Ms. Hillary Huma-Humpur, Phd. a professor of sociology.

“The Don Imus-Rutgers incident exposed the slang term ‘Ho’ to the general public as a slur for ‘whore’. Santa’s dialogue in any conversation begins or ends in ‘Ho, Ho Ho!’ and the probability of a child having been exposed to the Imus story is greater than not. Santa’s favorite euphemism could be construed to have an alternate meaning which could confuse a child”, Dr. Huma-Humpur said. “There might be a question in a child’s mind that Santa is spending time with a bunch of prostitutes”, she added.

And what about the Elves working all year in Santa’s workshop building toys and harvesting candy canes?

“It’s worker exploitation pure and simple. Many of the children’s Winter Holiday books we read or videos we watched showed the Elves working around the clock without the benefit of a break time or meal time”, said Dr. Huma-Humpur.

One of the favorite children’s classics, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, “shows unsafe working conditions with dangerous tools left carelessly laying around the shop, workers standing on each other’s shoulders and using unstable ladders to hang stars on trees. Generally, there is a complete lack of worker safety being exhibited. Were it real, OSHA would shut it down in a heartbeat. Children need to understand that workers have the right to a safe work environment and to join a union”, She said.

Dr. Huma-Humpur continued, “Children mimic what they read and what they see. A little Elf with a 5lb hammer banging on wooden pegs might seem innocent in the context of the North Pole Toy Factory but if a child found a real hammer and began beating on things it could result in injury to themself or other children”.

The report cites two more issues which is says “are critical to correct and normal child development”.

Cynthia Hollingsworth Smelford-Britlington, a graduate researcher on the project studied the self-esteem issue. “ Most Santa stories tell that only good children get toys the morning of December 25th while bad children get a lump of coal. “What happens to the child when it knows that it’s been bad? The angst and worry about not being rewarded like all the other children on Winter Holiday morning is detrimental to a positive and healthy self- esteem”, she said.

And the lump of coal? “That is by far the most insidious facet of the Santa story given our present Global Warming climate crisis”, Ms. Hollingsworth Smelford-Britlington said.

“Coal is the number one contributor to global warming pollution and is constantly reported in the news in a negative way. To tell a child that they may be given something that is killing polar bears and penguins is grossly irresponsible. And, furthermore, children are being taught in school that the polar ice is melting. How does a child reconcile the hope and dreams of presents from the North Pole toy factory with the reality that the North Pole is melting?”, she added.

Frosty the Snow Man, another other holiday book that was evaluated was actually given praise in the report as it contains a message about the seriousness of Global Warming.

“Frosty melts towards the end of the movie and the climate is shown as the cause. This is reinforcement of the climate change science that is taught in today’s schools, which is commendable.”, said Ms. Hollingsworth Smelford-Britlington.

The report runs 610 pages and was funded by a Federal university grant for child development issues.


TOPICS: Extended News; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: itssatirestupid; ohnohediditagain; santa; satire
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Oh, the humanity!
1 posted on 12/04/2007 7:01:03 PM PST by Rb ver. 2.0
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

How did I ever survive believing in Santa Clause...and the fun it was...


2 posted on 12/04/2007 7:02:31 PM PST by JoanneSD (illegals represented without taxation.. Americans taxed without representation)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

of course this crap comes from Berkeley.


3 posted on 12/04/2007 7:02:33 PM PST by SandRat (Duty, Honor, Country. What else needs to be said?)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

BWAAAAAHHHHHH


4 posted on 12/04/2007 7:05:05 PM PST by Bradís Gramma (Mother of the Bride here, treat me with respect for once, will ya? ;))
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

I am still looking for the Scrappleface heading on this one.


5 posted on 12/04/2007 7:05:15 PM PST by pfflier
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To: Rb ver. 2.0
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

6 posted on 12/04/2007 7:06:16 PM PST by Chode (American Hedonist)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

This article is just a joke though, right? Right?

Dear god, they have lost their minds.....


7 posted on 12/04/2007 7:07:52 PM PST by Steak
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

Uncle Marx’s or Uncle Mao’s story, however, would be beneficial to child development. /s


8 posted on 12/04/2007 7:08:35 PM PST by paudio
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

You forgot to type “THIS IS SATIRE” in eight foot tall letters.

Hillary Huma-Humpur?

Great job, funny article!


9 posted on 12/04/2007 7:08:54 PM PST by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: Steak

Has to be, DR. Hillary Huma-Humpur....LOL


10 posted on 12/04/2007 7:10:02 PM PST by ElevenB
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

And all this time I’ve been screwed, though I never realized it.


11 posted on 12/04/2007 7:10:23 PM PST by Mr Ramsbotham (Laws against sodomy are honored in the breech.)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0
there are SO many things wrong here...."ignorance of global warming"..."winter holiday morning"...

but THIS:

The report runs 610 pages and was funded by a Federal university grant

is the worst.

12 posted on 12/04/2007 7:10:59 PM PST by ZinGirl
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

LOL. You had me going for the first few sentences because it seemed so believable, so perfectly typical of Beserkley leftists.......

fwiw, I once bore tremendous resentment toward Santa Claus fairy tales, when I was around 8 years old (when I found out Santa Claus was “not real”). I was so furious with being deceived that I promptly told my younger sister (3 years younger, so probably 5 at the time). It broke her heart and I felt momentarily like I’d done a great service for “truth” until I saw the effect on her, then I felt ashamed for having spoiled it all for her........ true confession from 40 years ago, never before revealed. :^)


13 posted on 12/04/2007 7:10:59 PM PST by Enchante (Democrat terror-fighting motto: "BLEAT - CHEAT - RETREAT - DEFEAT - REPEAT")
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

Does Berkeley, CA have any relevance to American life?


14 posted on 12/04/2007 7:11:00 PM PST by wastedyears (One Marine vs. 550 consultants. Sounds like good odds to me.)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

Outstanding satire.

Of course my fav character is Ms. Hillary Huma-Humpur. LOL!!

BUMP!


15 posted on 12/04/2007 7:12:47 PM PST by upchuck (Hildabeaste as Prez... unimaginable, devastating misery! She will redefine "How bad can it get?")
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To: Grizzled Bear

good grief....I could have used the THIS IS SATIRE in 9-ft letters! apparently, I wouldn’t have seen it even if it were at 8 feet.


16 posted on 12/04/2007 7:13:21 PM PST by ZinGirl
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

Well, sounds like someone needs to see “Miracle on 34th Street”....


17 posted on 12/04/2007 7:13:53 PM PST by MHT
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To: Rb ver. 2.0

Berkeley detrimental to mental health.


18 posted on 12/04/2007 7:14:23 PM PST by purpleraine
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To: Rb ver. 2.0
University Research Study: Santa Claus story is detrimental to child development.

May as well come back to the thread and not FR beginning threads.

19 posted on 12/04/2007 7:14:45 PM PST by Buddy B (MSgt Retired-USAF)
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To: Rb ver. 2.0
Yeah, that whole Santa thing really screwed up my whole life but it was those three wise men that REALLY scared me. Especially the tall one he looked so wise...and tall.

...I’ll never be the same. (sarc)

20 posted on 12/04/2007 7:14:59 PM PST by sierrahome (Hillary Clinton "America's Ex-Wife")
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