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(UK:) Flatulence ban for club pensioner
news.bbc.co.uk ^ | 12/04/2007 | news.bbc.co.uk

Posted on 12/05/2007 3:05:39 PM PST by WesternCulture

A social club in Devon has banned a 77-year-old man from breaking wind while indoors.

(Excerpt) Read more at news.bbc.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: barkingspiders; beanoplease; britain; clubs; cuttingthecheese; flatulence; pulltherope; somethingsmells; uk

1 posted on 12/05/2007 3:05:42 PM PST by WesternCulture
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To: WesternCulture

No Sh@t?


2 posted on 12/05/2007 3:07:49 PM PST by pipecorp ( Al Lahsucks (boat steersman ) hell)
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To: WesternCulture

Well, THAT stinks!


3 posted on 12/05/2007 3:08:18 PM PST by digger48
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To: WesternCulture

It’s so much the smell that bothers me as when it burns my eyes.


4 posted on 12/05/2007 3:08:58 PM PST by Rb ver. 2.0 (Global warming is the new Marxism.)
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To: WesternCulture

Joseph Pujol is rolling in his grave.

http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=202

Wonder what Mr.Methane thinks of all this.

http://www.mrmethane.com/


5 posted on 12/05/2007 3:10:48 PM PST by Para-Ord.45
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To: WesternCulture

Mr Fox, a club regular for 20 years, said: "I am happy to oblige them, there is no problem. I do get a bit windy - I am an old fart now."
6 posted on 12/05/2007 3:11:30 PM PST by iowamark
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To: WesternCulture

Guess that end the “here, pull my finger” tricks for the visiting grandchildren.


7 posted on 12/05/2007 3:12:01 PM PST by edcoil (Reality doesn't say much - doesn't need too)
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To: WesternCulture

No Farting Zone?


8 posted on 12/05/2007 3:12:04 PM PST by rightwingintelligentsia (CNN: Full of plants from the DNC Plant-ation.)
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To: WesternCulture

This is obviously breaking news...


9 posted on 12/05/2007 3:12:34 PM PST by deks
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To: WesternCulture

Don’t laugh, Democrats are looking at banning farting altogether to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.


10 posted on 12/05/2007 3:12:59 PM PST by Always Right
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To: WesternCulture

Lord Windesmere of Whopping Foghole


11 posted on 12/05/2007 3:13:06 PM PST by ElkGroveDan (If Rudy's an influential conservative, then I'm an award winning concert pianist.)
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To: pipecorp

From the article “I think someone has complained about the noise. I am a loud farter, but there is no smell.”

Ha! No smell! We must be related! Actually I do it in reverse. They are silent but deadly.


12 posted on 12/05/2007 3:14:04 PM PST by passionfruit (When illegals become legal, even they won't do work American's won't do)
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To: deks
This is obviously breaking news...

Not anymore, that was what is being banned.

13 posted on 12/05/2007 3:14:16 PM PST by Always Right
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To: Rb ver. 2.0
It’s [not] so much the smell that bothers me as when it burns my eyes.

LOL... at the local watering hole that I frequent, there's a guy like this. Just DAMN. Makes yer eyes bleed. It's so intense that it really seems impossible that such a gas could come from anything that is still alive.

Which is nothing compared to what happens when he heads for the bathroom. Dear Lord. He's been known to clear the place. Really. Not kidding. Everybody goes gasping out the door.

14 posted on 12/05/2007 3:17:53 PM PST by Ramius (Personally, I give us... one chance in three. More tea?)
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To: WesternCulture

Buckman!


15 posted on 12/05/2007 3:17:55 PM PST by Dahoser (America's great untapped alternative energy source: The Founding Fathers spinning in their graves.)
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To: WesternCulture

I hear the resolution just squeaked by.


16 posted on 12/05/2007 3:18:04 PM PST by Argus
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To: WesternCulture
What a sad claim to fame...


17 posted on 12/05/2007 3:19:19 PM PST by bannie
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To: Ramius
It's so intense that it really seems impossible that such a gas could come from anything that is still alive.

Sounds like our old German shorthair pointer.

18 posted on 12/05/2007 3:19:47 PM PST by Argus
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To: Always Right

But they want us all to eat rice and beans to save the planet! That guarantees human methane production for ages.


19 posted on 12/05/2007 3:21:40 PM PST by tbw2 (Science fiction with real science - "Humanity's Edge" - on amazon.com)
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To: WesternCulture

Hope the old fart is carful standing next to a guy stepping out for a smoke. Booooooom!


20 posted on 12/05/2007 3:21:54 PM PST by Proud2BeRight
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To: passionfruit

you should change your name to “durianfruit” :)


21 posted on 12/05/2007 3:21:57 PM PST by ari-freedom (Happy Chanuka!)
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To: passionfruit
From the article “I think someone has complained about the noise. I am a loud farter, but there is no smell.”

Ha! No smell! We must be related! Actually I do it in reverse. They are silent but deadly.

Both you and Mr. Fox need an appointment with an ENT specialist. Once his olfactory function is restored the the otolaryngologist can work on your hearing problem.

22 posted on 12/05/2007 3:22:09 PM PST by DeFault User
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To: Argus
Sounds like our old German shorthair pointer.

Yeah, I used to blame the dog too. :=)

23 posted on 12/05/2007 3:23:52 PM PST by Bob
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To: passionfruit

Evil twin?


24 posted on 12/05/2007 3:24:09 PM PST by MacDorcha (We have been at war with this mindset since before the Socratic method was borne.)
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To: passionfruit

Evil twin?


25 posted on 12/05/2007 3:24:10 PM PST by MacDorcha (We have been at war with this mindset since before the Socratic method was borne.)
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To: moder_ator

Delete please, double tapped on that last one.


26 posted on 12/05/2007 3:24:55 PM PST by MacDorcha (We have been at war with this mindset since before the Socratic method was borne.)
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To: Argus

LMAO! He who detected it, ejected it.


27 posted on 12/05/2007 3:25:18 PM PST by Attention Surplus Disorder (This post sold by weight, not volume. Content may have settled during shipment.)
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To: passionfruit
From the article “I think someone has complained about the noise. I am a loud farter, but there is no smell.”

Old man goes to the doctor complaining about bad gas. "It's just an annoyance doctor. It doesn't stink and it doesn't make any noise, but I'm constantly passing gas." Doctor writes him a prescription and tells him to come back in a week. Old man tells the doctor at the next visit, "well, I'm still passing gas, and it doesn't make any noise, but it smells like something crawled up inside me and died!" Doctor says, "now that we've fixed your sense of smell, let's get you fitted for some hearing aides."

28 posted on 12/05/2007 3:25:37 PM PST by highimpact (Abortion - [n]: human sacrifice at the altar of convenience.)
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To: highimpact

See #22. You told the joke. I did the thread adaptation.


29 posted on 12/05/2007 3:28:55 PM PST by DeFault User
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To: DeFault User

LOL. I saw that. I was typing mine at the same time you were typing yours. I was interrupted by my daughter in the middle of my post so you beat me by a few minutes.


30 posted on 12/05/2007 3:32:29 PM PST by highimpact (Abortion - [n]: human sacrifice at the altar of convenience.)
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To: WesternCulture

Tea with your air biscuit? My friend called it stealthfunk.


31 posted on 12/05/2007 3:39:44 PM PST by manic4organic (Send a care package through USO today.)
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To: WesternCulture

This story doesn’t pass the smell test.


32 posted on 12/05/2007 3:43:05 PM PST by Yo-Yo (USAF, TAC, 12th AF, 366 TFW, 366 MG, 366 CRS, Mtn Home AFB, 1978-81)
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To: SheLion

Shelion, I don’t know if you still do a smoker’s pinglist, but right here in this story the underlying cause is the banning of indoor smoking. The smokers made the place bearable.


33 posted on 12/05/2007 3:47:33 PM PST by JerseyHighlander
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To: pipecorp
No Sh@t?

Very little.

34 posted on 12/05/2007 3:50:25 PM PST by Octar
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To: iowamark

An opportunity for product placement was missed in this photo. Put a Midas hat on the guy and move some mufflers.


35 posted on 12/05/2007 4:06:48 PM PST by WildcatClan (All your hardrives are belong to Huckabee.)
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To: JerseyHighlander; SheLion
Shelion, I don’t know if you still do a smoker’s pinglist, but right here in this story the underlying cause is the banning of indoor smoking. The smokers made the place bearable.

That jogged my memory. Wasn't there a club about a year ago that kicked a guy out for smelling bad and farting a lot. No one noticed until they banned smoking.

36 posted on 12/05/2007 4:24:18 PM PST by Phantom Lord (Fall on to your knees for the Phantom Lord)
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To: digger48

The club said there was no one available for comment.

That’s because Mr Fox forgot to leave the club and everyone was outside waiting for the air to clear.


37 posted on 12/05/2007 4:58:36 PM PST by Recon Dad (Marine Spec Ops Dad)
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To: Recon Dad

I’m surprised he didn’t blame it on John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich.


38 posted on 12/05/2007 5:15:29 PM PST by BerryDingle (Illegitimi Non Carborundum (Don't let the bastards wear you down))
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To: BerryDingle

Mr Fox would have been a star with the crowd I used to hang around with in my younger days.


39 posted on 12/05/2007 5:25:46 PM PST by Recon Dad (Marine Spec Ops Dad)
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To: WesternCulture

And I suppose they’re going enforce it by having a large open flame near the front door?


40 posted on 12/05/2007 5:27:16 PM PST by ArmstedFragg
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To: WesternCulture

Suggestion: Replace the word ‘bark’

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXko2YCuZa8


41 posted on 12/05/2007 10:51:37 PM PST by WesternCulture
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To: WesternCulture

Must be a relative. I got kicked out of the room in the fourth grade for doing it. I never figured out the logic of making me go sit in the hall while my classmates had to remain in the room with the fart. I thought that was an added bonus. lol


42 posted on 12/05/2007 10:56:55 PM PST by flying Elvis ("In...War, the errors which proceed from a spirit of benevolence are the worst" Clausewitz.)
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To: Ramius
"eyes bleed"

I have a co-worker/friend who was so bad one time at work everyone had to leave the work area. After one such attack I went to the lunchroom for a break where I found my friend sitting at one of the tables eating a very large container of baked beans. I asked him if he was trying to kill everyone. He just gave me a puzzled what-did-I-do look.

43 posted on 12/06/2007 4:11:19 AM PST by driftless2
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To: driftless2

I got tired of being “invited” to useless, marathon, administrative meetings so I would cook up a strong batch of split green pea soup the day before.

It wasn’t long before I was no longer invited. Best move(ment) of my career.


44 posted on 12/06/2007 11:28:56 AM PST by mywholebodyisaweapon
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