Family Begs for $1 Million To Buy Fancy Apartment

AOL News ^ | December 7, 2007 | Ada Calhoun

[rightwingintelligentsia]

A family on the Upper West Side of New York has placed an ad in New York magazine pleading for $1 million to buy an apartment so they can stay in their wealthy neighborhood. Gawker spotted the ad and posted it here; it reads:

"WE NEED HELP BUYING AN APARTMENT on the UWS, 3bd 2 bath. YOU are a philanthropic, wealthy person who would not miss a million bucks and would be interested in donating (or even investing) in a highly targeted manner: to my family. WE are a wonderful, hard working middle class family who contributes to our UWS community, is entrenched, happy and desperately wants to remain on the UWS (lest the city lose yet another wonderful family to the burbs). We can afford 600-700K, so you see the predicament. Can you help us??"

We're not going to reprint their email address (Gawker has it), because we don't want any of you millionaires being tempted to help these horrid people. As charities that serve, I don't know, POOR PEOPLE, make their holiday pleas for donations, this rich family has the GALL to imply that they with their 700K budget are needy. We WISH we had their problems.

[kinoxi]

No words.

[ShadowDancer]

Franky, I don’t wish I had their problems. They clearly run far deeper than any amount of money can fix.

[LongElegantLegs]

What’s the problem? At least they’re not asking the government for a handout...

[CaptainK]

A shame they didn’t the foresight two years ago to take out a zero down payment 2 year ARM.

[fanfan]

LOL!

That takes the cake!

[Michael.SF.]

Klimbers.

[Revelation 911]

shaking head in amazement

[WOBBLY BOB]

John Edwards cousins?

[trailboss800]

Well spoken

[Billthedrill]

We're not going to reprint their email address...

Well, heck. I guess I'll just have to use my extra million on booze and hookers. Again.

[RightWhale]

An apartment in that district for only $1 million would hardly be considered a prize. The family is dirt poor and should move out of sight of Central Park.

[ShadowDancer]

Was that you? Thanks for the big tip.

[LucyT]

Dear Family on the Upper West Side of New York,

While you’re asking, ask for two million and send half of it to me. Freepmail JimRob for an address.

Really Sincerely,
Lucy T.

[beaversmom]

Nah, probably related to the Clintons.

[Callahan]

Yeah I just blew close to that on a new boat (sheds tear). Could’ve helped these po’ folks.

[Billthedrill]

I don’t exactly remember clearly. You weren’t the one with the badge, were you? Officer?

[ShadowDancer]

Only the Shadow knows.

[Republicus2001]

I walked into a liquor store back in home town many many years ago and while making my purchase I noticed a pickle jar next to the cash registrar with a sign that read: HELP BUY JIMMIE BUY A SPEEDBOAT! Jimmie was right there at the register and gently suggested I throw the change in the bucket.

Many years later I returned to the same store and although the pickle jar was gone - Jimmie was still there. I asked if if he ever got that speed boat and he said "hell yeah! - still got it too!"

[Leisler]

They should try Nigeria.

[SIDENET]

We can afford 600-700K, so you see the predicament. Can you help us??"

I believe I can actually help these people.

600-700K will buy a virtual palace in many parts of the South. If you just have to have something in the Northeast, that sum of money will even buy some oceanfront property in parts of coastal Maine, which is very pretty.

Problem solved, and for FREE.

[ErnBatavia]

Why anyone in their right mind would want to live on Manhattan Island, where (excepting Central Park, I suppose) you can live your life without seeing a tree or seeing a bird that's not a statue-sh*tting pigeon, is beyond me.

I was born in Brooklyn and thank God every time I think of it that my parents got me out of New York before I was two months old.

[kinoxi]

:)

[Mr_Moonlight]

to my family. WE are a wonderful, hard working middle class family who contributes to our UWS community, is entrenched, happy and desperately wants to remain on the UWS (lest the city lose yet another wonderful family to the burbs). We can afford 600-700K, so you see the predicament. Can you help us??"

Reply by potential benefactor: "In a word ... NO ... since you failed to mention your strongest asset --- Bush Derangement Syndrome, hatred of anything and everything Republican, as well as a deep distrust of anything American. Better luck next time. Go live in Staten Island."

[fanfan]

There might be a guy in Nigeria who could help.....

[LasVegasMac]

Again.

Lol.

Sucks being a slow learner....some things ya just have to do over and over...and over...and..

:)

[padre35]

That reads like a Hillary Fundraising email.

[fanfan]

Beat me!

[Gay State Conservative]

I can chip in.Maybe a sawbuck? What’s their address?

[fanfan]

I was born in Brooklyn and thank God every time I think of it that my parents got me out of New York before I was two months old.

Escape from NY?

LOL. Mine was escape from Toronto.

[BraveMan]

Thanks, BTW, for that new 24’ Great Lakes boat. You’re alright!

[Gay State Conservative]

Go live in Staten Island.

Or Hoboken.

[Pining_4_TX]

I agree! At least they are asking and not trying to get some politician to steal it from somebody else and give it to them.

This is why I have changed my mind about roadside beggars. At least they are doing something for their $ and they aren’t taking it by force through crime or government. I have more respect for them than I do for the ones sitting in Section 8 apartments living off their government checks.

I wonder how much money these people will get? Hmm.....

[cubreporter]

Shame on them. Shame on them. Shame on them. Today we saw a man in an electronic wheelchair crossing a busy highway. It was very cold here and frosty today. I said to my husband “look at that man...he has bags hanging on his chair which indicate he has been shopping and is now crossing that busy highway.” I mentioned how we all complain about things that we think are important but when you see someone challenged like that going on about their lives and business it just makes you think: “There but for the grace of God go I.” Well, this man had no legs but was managing. These people asking for money for their wealthy apt should be ashamed. Totally ashamed.

[Extremely Extreme Extremist]

(Jerry Seinfeld): “What is this salty discharge? Why...I actually care!”

[Rb ver. 2.0]

Here’s my ad in the freeper classifieds:

“Need help to live a higher lifestyle. You are a philanthropic conservative who wouldn’t mind sparing a couple of thousand dollars per month to help me and my sons live like the Jones next door. We do ok, pay the bills and order pizza a couple of times a month but since there is only one income we can’t go to the Bahamas on vacation a couple of times a year or afford to drive a new, roomy 20 mpg SUV, let alone eat out every night, buy a 42” flat screen for each bedroom or pairs of $100 basketball shoes. We are not asking for much, just the above mentioned items, and unlimited cell plan with complete texting and data package. Oh, and unlimited Satellite TV package also. Not much. Think of how good you’ll feel knowing that you’re helping!”

[goldstategop]

A $1 million dollars? Most people can live on New York's Upper West side in their dreams. Its a stretch to keep up with the Darlings. Money will only go so far - even in New York.

"Show me just what Mohammed brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached." - Manuel II Palelologus

[montag813]

A shame they didn’t the foresight two years ago to take out a zero down payment 2 year ARM.

Is there a mortgage price limit to Bush's Soviet-style handout?

[MARTIAL MONK]

No can do. Have you tried Santy Claus...or a government job?

[Billthedrill]

Thanks, BTW, for that new 24’ Great Lakes boat.

Well, fair's fair. You bought lunch, I got the yachts.

[cynwoody]

We can afford 600-700K, so you see the predicament. Can you help us?

Folks, the answer is mobility. Move to Brownsville and buy ten houses. And stop paying state income taxes, too!

If you don't like Brownsville, check out this handy list for other choice locations.

[fanfan]

Have you tried Santy Claus...or a government job?

Roflol!

[Anti-Bubba182]

Chutzpah!!

[CASchack]

*sniff*..... kind of tugs at the heart strings, doesn’t it?

[Gorzaloon]

Yeah I just blew close to that on a new boat (sheds tear). Could’ve helped these po’ folks.

(Said in DownEast Accent) That's different. A boat is an ESSENTIAL! After all, you can live on a boat, but you cannot float an apartment. Ask anyone in NOLA!

[seoul62]

They could apply for section eight or something and move into the projects*(I forgot the name)* - it is a stones throw from Lincoln Center. Upper West Side living without the price tag./Just Asking - seoul62........

[Chode]

and the yearly taxes???

[SampleMan]

What’s the problem? At least they’re not asking the government for a handout...

I've got money that says they are.

[Popman]