Crematorium to keep mourners warm by burning bodies of loved ones

dailymail.co.uk ^ | 7 Jan 2008 | Staff

[forkinsocket]

Heat created by burning the dead at crematoria could be used to keep mourners warm under plans to make funerals more environmentally-friendly.

Instead of letting the gases emitted by cremation escape into the atmosphere, councils want to use them to heat radiators or even generate electricity.

They admit some might find the idea of being kept warm by the remains of their loved-ones macabre.

But there are thought to be no religious objections, and ever-tighter controls on pollution mean such systems could become commonplace.

[forkinsocket]

Taking environmentalism too far.

[SIDENET]

Talk about jumping the shark!

[Army Air Corps]

In “A Brave New World” bodies were incinerated to recover the phosphorous and other minerals (now, THAT is recycling).

[SIDENET]

[Mad_Tom_Rackham]

That’s semi-sick.

[VOA]

“Soylent Heat IS PEOPLE!!!”

[Jewels1091]

I have no words for this.....

[digger48]

Oh great, we can have one last weenie roast with Uncle Bob

[Frank_Discussion]

Ghoulish.

[RosieCotton]

This is definitely approaching “Brave New World” or Soylent Green territory, I’d say.

[fhayek]

Macabre? It’s downright ghoulish.

[RosieCotton]

Ha! Exactly!

[fhayek]

beat me by twenty four seconds. ;^)

[bannie]

I agree. There's some sense in it; but...it's freaky.

My kids are supposed to have a tail-gate party (my wish!) when my ashes go up. This may interrupt that.

[nicmarlo]

This is definitely approaching “Brave New World” or Soylent Green territory, I’d say.

I agree. Disgusting.

[SIDENET]

If I’m fat, my family should get some kind of bonus for the extra BTUs I kick out.

[popdonnelly]

Wasn’t humanity aghast when the Nazis recycled dead humans?

[GOPJ]

Ummm, no. Too soylent green...

[doc1019]

Yes, we must make funerals more environmentally friendly. Just bury them; the dusts of time will make them environmentally friendly.

[Army Air Corps]

I have known some uber enviros (I had classes with a few in undergrad). Many of them were obsessed with “ending the tyranny of man” and spoke warmly of the end of the human race. Tacky me, I once asked why they didn’t lead by example...

[popdonnelly]

I thought that was an old Irish joke. “We cremated your uncle. He burned for three days.”

[rahbert]

depending on the fat content this might or might not yield
excess heat. fat fires tend to be sooty and clog chimneys which is why crems keep their retorts at high temps.

also makes ash recovery easier on the staff.

[Army Air Corps]

I am sorry, but that was pretty damned funny.

[exit82]

Brings a new meaning to “Put another log on the fire”.....

Of course, if they used a good looking female, well you would say “She’s really hot!”

The funeral song would be “What kind of fuel am I?”

[Rudder]

...keep mourners warm by burning bodies of loved ones.

It would more in keeping with the sensitivities of the mourners to burn their enemies instead.

[kaboom]

The fat will be used instead of sterno to warm the buffet at your wake.

[Army Air Corps]

Personally, I want my corpse shot into orbit.

[Tamar1973]

Yes, we must make funerals more environmentally friendly. Just bury them; the dusts of time will make them environmentally friendly.

Unless they pump the body full of chemicals first.

[Army Air Corps]

What, not “Burn, baby, burn”?

[Cinnamon]

next they’ll recycle the meat.

[keat]

But there are thought to be no religious objections

No religion = no religious objections. Pretty neat how that works.

[Rembrandt]

Still not warm? Throw Mama from the train into the furnace.

[exit82]

Sure, and we’ll finish with “Come on Baby Light My Fire”

[Eternal_Bear]

put a picture of a smiling Uncle Ben on the can?

[RatsDawg]

My thoughts exactly.

I guess human lampshades of our loved ones are next?

[fhayek]

I know some people who work in a tool store next to the Buffalo crematoriam. They insist that they can always tell when then burn an Italian. You can smell the garlic.

[Army Air Corps]

So, when the burners first light, will they play “Start me up”?

[Army Air Corps]

I guess human lampshades of our loved ones are next?

From the "Yikes!" product line from Ikea.

[doc1019]

Pumping bodies full of chemicals to preserve them is not my idea. When I die, dump me in a cheap wooden box, dump me in the ground … alas, he is dead.

[SIDENET]

No religion = no religious objections. Pretty neat how that works.

Not only that. Aren't these european socialist utopias going gangbusters pushing euthenasia?

Just think: free of religious objections, gets rid of people who "use more than their share" of medical resources, and is obviously WAY environmentally friendly.

I smell a brave new industry!

[RatsDawg]

Or, Blue Oyster Cults, “Burnin’ For You”.

[RosieCotton]

Only if you use CFL bulbs with ‘em...

[forkinsocket]

Yes, it's a meathouse.

[exit82]

For the 60s groove, our next selection is “Heat Wave” by Martha and the Vandellas.

[RosieCotton]

How about The Bangles “Eternal Flame”?

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

In the show “Lexx”, the dead were put in something called “the protein bank”. Most likely a similar process.

[Army Air Corps]

Next, from the Blue Oyster Cult, “I’m burnin’ for you.”

[exit82]

See post 41—great minds(you two) think alike.

[exit82]

Is that like “Burn Like an Egyptian? ;)

[Sender]

"Oh...do you feel that warm air, sweetie? That's Daddy. He's giving us one last present."

"You mean Daddy's in the heater, Mommy?

"No, sweetie, Daddy's in Heaven."

"Is he messing with the thermostat in Heaven, Mommy?"

(laughs) "No, dear, Daddy is providing renewable energy instead of becoming greenhouse gases. Well, I suppose he's still becoming...let's not talk about it, OK?"