AP Alerts Staff Britney Is Now 'A Big Deal'

Gawker ^ | 1/08/08 | Gawker

[hemogoblin]

In an internal email issued this afternoon, Los Angeles Associated Press assistant bureau chief Frank Baker notified his staff of a major policy change."Now and for the foreseeable future," he wrote, "virtually everything involving Britney is a big deal." OMG, did you hear? Britney is a BIG DEAL, y'all! Nervous breakdowns are totes the most efficient way to achieve household name status. Memo after the jump.

[hemogoblin]

Iranian suicide-boat captains, take note.

[C210N]

Begala and Carville, take note.

... oh, and best of luck in your new jobs!

[DoughtyOne]

If I never hear a peep about Britney again, I will consider it a blessing.

[forkinsocket]

Hahaha!

[HisKingdomWillAbolishSinDeath]

Who needs Christians and Lions when you have the Spears and the Media.

[advertising guy]

this is orders from headquarters to control the headlines after NH and Hillary’s sorry ass.......

as far as the drive by’s....if Brittney were to oh you know, die.....................cool...........headlines for weeks

[Billthedrill]

SpongeBob says "Leave Britney Alone!" [warning - language]

[cmsgop]

The Price of Cheeto's™ and Frappicino™ is going through the roof !!!!

[Bobalu]

[Crawdad]

Bread and circuses.

[woofie]

Breast size should be a leading indicator of the importance of a news item

[keepitreal]

Well it’s about that time. Wasn’t Anna Nicole Smith about a year ago?

Just gotta remember the reporting schedule:

Summer - global warming
Fall - bad economy
Winter - ditzy blonde celebrity legal troubles
Spring - sports celebrity legal troubles, rising gas prices

[familyop]

"...y'all! Nervous breakdowns are totes the most efficient way to achieve household name status."

I wuz tryin' tuh totes the most efficient way tuh do a bunch'a stuff.

[dayglored]

> SpongeBob says "Leave Britney Alone!"

Wow, that's awesome parody. (really)

[Chode]

Bratney is SOOOO yesterday, she's last week, or is it last year???

[dayglored]

> Breast size should be a leading indicator of the importance of a news item

Wait. You mean it isn't???

[Sybeck1]

Hit me Baby! One More Time......

[doc1019]

LOL! ROFL

[pogo101]

Chris "Leave Britney ALONE" Crocker had no comment.

[indylindy]

Thats one big deal I care absolutley nothing about. I will ignore it.

[crazydad]

This is a sad commentary on our media. Some poor idiot of a girl that is throwing her life away. And they are just adding to the fuel... I hope that Brit does not commit suicide because if she does it will be a direct result of the pounding she takes in the Hollywood media.. Shameful..

[reefdiver]

Does this article even belong here

[tessalu]

I think that Britney Spears is insane and not even laughable. She cut off her hair and exposed her ugly ears, and she would have had to be crazy to that, for she had kept them well hidden.

[pogo101]

There's more about her than her haircut to suggest mental instability here.

[Bobalu]

She cut all the hair off on her attorneys advice.

Drug testing of hair can detail drug use from the present to years before....no hair = no test.

[gunservative]

In 2000, Britney’s album sold 8 million copies.

Her 2007 “comeback” album has sold 550,000 and is sinking off the charts.

That’s the only “news”.

[hemogoblin]

Does this article even belong here

Just exposing our trusted, beloved and truth-protecting media.

[ProfoundMan]

Fortunately, the MSM has yet to figure out how to mandate who it’s a big deal to.

[mel]

I am exactly the opposite. I think we need more Britney coverage.
1. Britney doesn’t aggravate you like knowing that someone like Obama has a strong chance of getting in the White House.
2. Britney stays in her own world. Isn’t a political commentator like some of these so called celebrities.
3. Free entertainment
4. Shows me that money isn’t everything.
5. Doesn’t pretend to be something she is not.
6. Doesn’t want to take my money to give to someone too lazy to work. (i am all for helping people in hard times, but are that many people in hard times)
7. Britney doesn’t want to push illegal immigration down my throat
8. Doesn’t hold her finger in the air to determine what to do next. She just does what she wants
Personally, I think Britney is a breath of fresh air from these ranky politicians...

[panthermom]

I’m telling y’all, Britney is now possessed by Anna Nicole and needs an exorcism.

[DoughtyOne]

LOL, now I’m thinking I should appologize to Britney.

[MediaMole]

She needs to move back to Louisiana, find a nice trailer and live out her life in obscurity. Better for her, better for the world.

[boop]

"I was preparing my character for a roll (sic) in a movie where the husband never plays his part so they switch places accidentally."

That's so cute. She shaved her head and went nuts because she was preparing for a "roll".