When they're young, tape 'em to the wall.
When they're teenagers, have them make suits out of duct tape so they'll look presentable and send them off to a monastery. Worked for me.
Posted on 01/10/2008 9:44:04 AM PST by Cagey
have often proudly claimed the title for myself. And sometimes my three teenagers have bestowed it upon me.
I was crowned after I decreed that they can no longer go to house parties if the parents aren't present after one gathering turned into a vomit fest with Grade 9s chugging vodka out of water bottles. I was nominated again when I insisted they can't go out on the eve of a test. And I'm always a clear winner when I dare to insist that my oldest return our car before I head off to bed so that I can sleep in peace.
But contrary to my family's assumption, it turns out I'm not the Meanest Mom on the Planet after all.
The true titleholder is Jane Hambleton of Fort Dodge, Iowa, and she has made me realize that my own feeble, weak-kneed attempts at rules and discipline simply pale in comparison.
Hambleton and her husband bought a car for their 19-year-old son over Thanksgiving, but the college student's gift came with two strict conditions: He had to make sure it was locked when not in use and most importantly, in a state where the legal drinking age is 21, there was to be absolutely no alcohol.
Last month, though, Hambleton, 48, grew suspicious and discovered a bottle of liquor hidden in his car. While her son insisted it didn't belong to him, his mother felt he'd left her no choice.
She called up the Des Moines Register's classified department and placed the following ad:
"OLDS 1999 INTRIGUE
Totally uncool parents who obviously don't love teenage son, selling his car.
Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet ... "
Did the mother of two teens go too far?
As soon as our kids reach driving age, our nightmares are filled with cars and booze. With her son's college three hours away, Hambleton said she couldn't take a chance that he would ever drink and drive. The car had to go and as a copywriter for seven radio stations, she knew how to come up with an ad that would get a buyer's attention.
She just never imagined it would go this far.
The mom has been inundated by calls from around the world from parents, emergency room doctors, nurses and lawyers applauding her gutsy decision. "It's overwhelming the number of calls I've gotten from people saying, 'Thank you, it's nice to see a responsible parent', " she told the Register. "So far there are no calls from anyone saying, 'You're really strict. You're real overboard, lady.' "
It would have been easy to just accept her son's explanation, especially since he's a good, church-going kid and she does believe that it really wasn't his bottle of Smirnoff Pomegranate Fusion.
SECRETLY PROUD
Personally, I'm afraid I would have wimped out and just taken the car away for awhile, with a scolding and a warning for good measure. Because while I wear "the meanest mom" as a badge of honour -- and truth be told, I think my kids are secretly proud that I care enough to set limits -- it does wear you down, especially when it seems you're the only mother around who ever says, "No." I may be great at setting strict rules, but a disaster when it comes to following through.
To her credit, Hambleton held her ground, which was no easy task considering her son probably won't be speaking to her any time soon. Not only have his wheels been snatched from under him, but his cautionary tale is now the talk of water coolers around the continent.
The meanest mom story is the most e-mailed news on Yahoo! and blogs everywhere are heralding her gumption. As one noted: "If more parents parented like this, the world would be a much better -- not to mention safer -- place."
Hambleton told momlogic.com yesterday that her son was especially irate after his private mistake made the national news.
"I told him I was sorry and didn't realize it was going to skyrocket like this. I remember when I was 19, and if I messed up and it was in the paper the next day ... I would have been mortified. I apologized and he accepted, and he still loves his mama."
Even though the car has sold, Hambleton decided to continue running the ad for another week so others can learn from her family's experience. And if it's any consolation to her humiliated child, she's told him that this whole saga may have helped others.
"Maybe this is your purpose in life," she told him. "You may have saved a young boy or girl who was going to get behind the wheel and drink, and now they won't because they were threatened by their own parents after reading the ad."
Ironically, it was another set of parents who bought the car for their 19-year-old son. Just before they drove away, she warned the teen, "Don't drink in the car, and if you do, don't hide it under the front seat!" As for me, it's good to know that I'm not alone. And if I'm no longer the Meanest Mom on the Planet, at least I can still be the Meanest Mom in Canada.
Its about time parents started acting like parents instead of “friend”
Agreed
We can be friends with our parents when we are playing or just horsing around and that’t ban be a good fun thing but they still are our parents first and foremost. I’d say I played with my Dad or Mom, not my friends. Friends were just little wise-asses like me.
Soccer moms want to be there friends and dress up their daughters just like them, hang out at the mall together and maybe even grab dinner at Applebees. In moderation for special occassions, very cool. Every damned day? Bizzare.
I had a mean Mom, and God bless her, she taught me how to be a mean Mom. My son thanks me for it occasionally too.
mrs
No.
I’d do that to them in a heartbeat. Even if they paid for the car.
True.
I am friends with my son, and we do much together, but the entire father/son relationship, with all its traditional foundations still exists and will never change.
Similarly, my boss and I are friends, but the traditional employer/employee relationship exists and there are somethings I would never do.
Lastly,
The Lord was a friend of Abraham and the Lord is our friend too (through Jesus) but that friendship does not give me license to treat God in any lessor way.
My mom was a friend first, mother second. I knew I could get away with just about anything and it nearly cost me my life on two occasions. My brother behaved similarly and has been in and out of jail for years.
When my kids say I’m mean or unfair, I wear it as a badge of honor. Its easy to be strict when you know the consequences of not being strict.
He deserves to have the car taken away for drinking that.
We never had a problem, but then our sons didn't go out driving around a lot anyway. Their friends tended to come to our house and hang out in the Bat Cave; the basement family room, which was accessible to the outside, so they could come and go as they pleased. They couldn't sneak in or out, though, because the door needed to be pushed hard to be shut. You could hear it all through the house. ;o)
When they're young, tape 'em to the wall.
When they're teenagers, have them make suits out of duct tape so they'll look presentable and send them off to a monastery. Worked for me.
Yeah, I hear you.
My parents have always been, my parents, and I have great respect for them. Parent’s who try to be the “friend” generally end up having more problems with their children, then parents who know their place as the authority. Good grief, if we had more parents like that, we wouldn’t have as many messed up kids.
I agree with you, it is bizarre. I’m thankful for my parents being my parents, and not my friend;that would be just be weird
8mm film of my Dad teaching me how to shave.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2JYYFzlvWKE&feature=related
Parents should not be ‘friends’ until their offspring are at least 30 ... it works much better that way.
Now that you're all growed up ... still avant-garde.
For Chrismas, I got my daughter a new "tough love" seat.
Any chance of getting me a bow tie? I always wanted to be a Professor.
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