Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

To: radar101

If you get an e-mail from an FBI agent who is also a Nigerian minister and he wants to put $100 million in your checking account for a little while and will let you keep 20%—chances are it’s fake.


4 posted on 01/15/2008 1:10:43 PM PST by San Jacinto (Three dangers to guard against: Osama, Obama, and Chelsea's Momma!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies ]


To: San Jacinto

This year alone, my freebie yahoo disguised identity has inherited $30,000,000 from South Africa, 500,000 pounds UK from Zimbabwe, and a boatload of money for a lottery winning, and they have all sent two emails each. None of which I’ve replied to, of course.

Hilarious.


5 posted on 01/15/2008 1:16:41 PM PST by Judith Anne (I have no idea what to put here. Not a clue.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies ]

To: San Jacinto
If you get an e-mail from an FBI agent who is also a Nigerian minister and he wants to put $100 million

What! Does that mean I don't have a long last relative who died suddenly entestate in Lagos?

6 posted on 01/15/2008 1:16:51 PM PST by AU72
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies ]

To: San Jacinto
If you get an e-mail from an FBI agent who is also a Nigerian minister and he wants to put $100 million in your checking account for a little while and will let you keep 20%—chances are it’s fake.

You're just bitter because I'll be getting the 20% handling fee any day now.

14 posted on 01/15/2008 1:40:18 PM PST by dearolddad (Opinions are like rectums: everybody has one.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies ]

To: San Jacinto; doug from upland

Doug From Upland keeps getting emails from Hillary Clinton claiming that she appreciates what “he’s” doing for her campaign. < /s >


17 posted on 01/15/2008 1:57:13 PM PST by weegee (Those who surrender personal liberty to lower global temperatures will receive neither.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies ]

To: San Jacinto

>>>If you get an e-mail from an FBI agent who is also a Nigerian minister and he wants to put $100 million in your checking account for a little while and will let you keep 20%—chances are it’s fake.<<<

Just send them this as a reply.


Subject: My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year (UNCLASSIFIED)

Dear All,

My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year and made me suffer through having to use this computer...

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me. I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m filling up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

Thanks to you, I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my @$$.

And thanks to your great advice, I can’t even pick up the $5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician.

By the way...a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ who have infrequent sexual activity always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late!


19 posted on 01/15/2008 2:15:10 PM PST by Arrowhead1952 ("It may take another Jimmy Carter to get another Ronald Reagan". Rush Limbaugh Jan. 14, 2008)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies ]

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article


FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson