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TO WOMEN: How to Build A lasting Relationship
1/20/08 | bear_slayer

Posted on 01/20/2008 9:42:43 PM PST by Bear_Slayer

Now obviously I can't speak for every male, but I feel qualified to speak in general terms.

This is aimed at the married woman, but is applicable to the woman that is involved in a long term relationship.

Learn these things and you might get your relationship to last. Ignore them at your peril.

1. He is not your zit. Stop picking at him.

Women love to pick at zits. They'll sneak up on you while you're shaving and start squeezing. It's an annoying habit they can't break. They also do this emotionally and intellectually. This is done when they ask us silly questions like:

"Do you love me because you need me, our need me because you love me?"

The fact is we love you and need you. Beyond that, we have no idea. Some invisible rock hit us in the head one day and we realized we can't live without you, until you drive us insane, then we can't live with you.

Similar questions are along the lines of, "Do these pants make my butt look big?"

The fact is, you have a big butt and your butt makes those pants look big. Another fact: we don't care. When the invisiable rock hit us, it didn't clue us in that you had a big butt; it simply made us aware of the fact, "Girl nice. Me like girl, lot."

I knew a woman once that had a big butt. She wasn't even the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, but the invisible rock was huge and I would have crawled through broken glass to be with her if she were single.

You have a big butt. Get over it. If you are constantly aware of your own big butt, you will make us constantly aware of it and you don't want that.

2. It's ok for him to compare you to his mother, as in, "That's not how my mother does it."

The fact is our mother is the only significant woman that ever loved us, until you came along. She fed, bathed, dress, nurtured, encouraged and loved us -- and we like how our mom made our potatos, cookies, &etc. Don't change the recipe. We like it that way. There is nothing Freudian about it.

3. Don't expect a deep relationship and don't try to draw us into meaningful conversations.

We're not comfortable exploring our inner feelings. Most guys don't trust their feelings and the smarter ones recognize that its their feelings that got them into the relationship in the first place.

Do you want a meaningful relationship? Go sip lattes with your friends and explore each other's cavernous feelings. It's a level you can all relate to and prop one another up.

4. Don't trust everything your girlfriend tells you.

Just because they read it in Redbook or Ms. does not make it so. Those magazines are written by women, for women, that grew up on Danielle Steele.

And don't ask us. We don't know and we're not that complicated anyways. If you simply watch us, without over-analyzing you'll figure us out. At a basic level we eat, we sleep, we copulate, and we play sports. Not necessarily in that order and not necessarily at different times.

5. You don't always have to be talking.

Men can communicate through subtle mechanisms. It's how we know when a woman likes us, or when the guy across the bar is looking for a fight, etc.

6. Don't make us carry you through life.

We're trying to get through it also. We'll be happy to stand in front and take some of the blows, but listen, carry your own baggage. We got our own to deal with.

Lastly,

When the big rock hit us, it really didn't matter what you looked like on the outside. Love is blind. We fell in love with the way your eyes twinkle when you smile. When you giggle when we say something silly or funny. And yes, even the way your breasts look in that tight sweater. However, none of that will matter ever again if you screw it up by driving us insane.


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: bitterabouttheex; collectiveblame; evilwoman; evilwomen; farrightsocially; girlfriend; marxisteconomically; mommyissues; relastionship; relationship; woman; women; womenareevil
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Ok. now that I got that off my chest and I'm tired, I'm going back to bed.
1 posted on 01/20/2008 9:42:43 PM PST by Bear_Slayer
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To: Bear_Slayer

I’d like to add:

Quit Nagging.


2 posted on 01/20/2008 9:46:32 PM PST by Kevmo (We need to get rid of the Kennedy Wing of the Republican Party. ~Duncan Hunter)
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To: Bear_Slayer

Wow..SOMEBODY had a bad night, didn’t they?


3 posted on 01/20/2008 9:47:21 PM PST by Hildy (You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep cause reality is finally better than your dreams)
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To: Hildy

Bad night? You mean “bad relationship”


4 posted on 01/20/2008 9:48:08 PM PST by Bear_Slayer (When liberty is outlawed only outlaws will have liberty.)
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To: Bear_Slayer

How much did you drink during the football games?


5 posted on 01/20/2008 9:48:13 PM PST by neodad (USS Vincennes (CG 49) "Checkmate Cruiser")
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To: neodad
I had to work, so I missed them. AND I have to turn around and go in early.

So I'm a little cranky

6 posted on 01/20/2008 9:48:54 PM PST by Bear_Slayer (When liberty is outlawed only outlaws will have liberty.)
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To: Bear_Slayer

7 posted on 01/20/2008 9:49:09 PM PST by GregoTX (The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.)
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To: Bear_Slayer

Funny, but with grains of truth sprinkled in. Very funny. :-)


8 posted on 01/20/2008 9:49:14 PM PST by Laptop_Ron (Abstract art is a product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered. )
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To: Kevmo
Yes...woman nag way too much and the the killer of a good relationship is a woman that belittles and contradicts her husband incessantly. I've seen it ruin so many marriages.

I'll put together my list for men and post it tomorrow.

9 posted on 01/20/2008 9:49:26 PM PST by Hildy (You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep cause reality is finally better than your dreams)
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To: Bear_Slayer
Men can communicate through subtle mechanisms.

Belching, scratching, and farting.

10 posted on 01/20/2008 9:49:48 PM PST by Moonman62 (The issue of whether cheap labor makes America great should have been settled by the Civil War.)
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To: Bear_Slayer

Ping for later perusal


11 posted on 01/20/2008 9:50:12 PM PST by Anitius Severinus Boethius
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To: Moonman62

‘Subtle’ is in the eye of the beholder. lol


12 posted on 01/20/2008 9:51:09 PM PST by Laptop_Ron (Abstract art is a product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered. )
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To: Bear_Slayer

Good Show!


13 posted on 01/20/2008 9:51:20 PM PST by UCANSEE2 (Just saying what 'they' won't.)
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To: Bear_Slayer
"Do you love me because you need me, our need me because you love me?"

I don't like it when they ask what I'm thinking.

14 posted on 01/20/2008 9:51:51 PM PST by Moonman62 (The issue of whether cheap labor makes America great should have been settled by the Civil War.)
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To: Bear_Slayer

You may be splitting hairs in this case.


15 posted on 01/20/2008 9:52:55 PM PST by dr_who_2
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To: Bear_Slayer

bingo! dingo!


16 posted on 01/20/2008 9:53:21 PM PST by robomatik (thompson/<s>hunter</s> '08 or <s>hunter</s>/thompson '08)
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To: Moonman62
very funny.

Ok now I'm going to bed.

17 posted on 01/20/2008 9:54:14 PM PST by Bear_Slayer (When liberty is outlawed only outlaws will have liberty.)
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To: Bear_Slayer

Alone?


18 posted on 01/20/2008 9:54:42 PM PST by Syncro
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To: Bear_Slayer

Oops, forgot the LOL


19 posted on 01/20/2008 9:55:11 PM PST by Syncro
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To: Bear_Slayer
The most important one is # 4. There are veritable armies of misandryous women out there who are themselves failed in relationships and seem to have it in for any man. The free advice and counsel they freely give is often worth exactly what it costs. It also often proves to be very damaging to anyone unfortunate enough to have them as ‘friends’.
20 posted on 01/20/2008 9:55:51 PM PST by TCats
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To: Moonman62

Exactly. The fact is, I may not be aware of what I am thinking at that moment, and in fact, I may be thinking, “I could strangle her, but where would I hide the body.”


21 posted on 01/20/2008 9:56:12 PM PST by Bear_Slayer (When liberty is outlawed only outlaws will have liberty.)
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To: Bear_Slayer

You are attacking symptoms. It’s the man’s job to transcend the ego and lead. When he does, all of these tiny annoyances will simply melt away.


22 posted on 01/20/2008 9:57:04 PM PST by Mr. Jeeves ("Wise men don't need to debate; men who need to debate are not wise." -- Tao Te Ching)
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To: Bear_Slayer

Hope your wife doesn’t know your real name Bear. And by the way, I like BIG butts.


23 posted on 01/20/2008 9:57:33 PM PST by pankot
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To: Bear_Slayer

I’m going to make your post into a T-shirt iron-on.


24 posted on 01/20/2008 9:59:07 PM PST by Rudder
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To: Bear_Slayer

You could have made this very simple. Women should know:

“Marry a man, who if he was the same sex as yourself, would be your best friend.”

The sad part is if you are a sports freak (male) who only lives to watch ESPN or other some such, you are no ones friend. Same goes for women who only live to shop.


25 posted on 01/20/2008 10:00:20 PM PST by SatinDoll (Fredhead and proud of it!)
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To: Syncro

As a matter of fact, no. The missus is on one half the bed, her damned dog is on the other half.


26 posted on 01/20/2008 10:00:28 PM PST by Bear_Slayer (When liberty is outlawed only outlaws will have liberty.)
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To: Mr. Jeeves

What are you smoking?


27 posted on 01/20/2008 10:01:08 PM PST by Bear_Slayer (When liberty is outlawed only outlaws will have liberty.)
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To: Bear_Slayer

Well that takes care of the bed.

The dog and wife are not alone...


28 posted on 01/20/2008 10:01:59 PM PST by Syncro
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To: Rudder

LOL


29 posted on 01/20/2008 10:02:32 PM PST by Syncro
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To: Rudder
It happens to be copy-right. But I'll sell it to you for the cost of 1 t-shirt XL.

:-)

30 posted on 01/20/2008 10:02:35 PM PST by Bear_Slayer (When liberty is outlawed only outlaws will have liberty.)
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To: GregoTX

My Gawd! You dug up a dinosaur!!


31 posted on 01/20/2008 10:02:43 PM PST by SatinDoll (Fredhead and proud of it!)
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To: Bear_Slayer

You lost me at picking zits.


32 posted on 01/20/2008 10:04:20 PM PST by donna (ADHD - Absent Dad/Husband Disorder)
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To: All

Oh, this ought to be a fun thread.


33 posted on 01/20/2008 10:04:20 PM PST by MitchellC (HELP FILL THE TANK ON FRED'S PICKUP - Fred08.com)
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To: Bear_Slayer

Oh, and please learn to leave the toilet seat up.


34 posted on 01/20/2008 10:04:25 PM PST by umgud
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To: bannie

bump


35 posted on 01/20/2008 10:04:54 PM PST by umgud
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To: GregoTX

I will be printing that out and pasting to the refrigerator.


36 posted on 01/20/2008 10:05:21 PM PST by Rome2000 (Peace is not an option)
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To: Bear_Slayer
I thought you were going to bed? Why is your ego keeping you up to savor all the sympathetic responses to your post?

When you figure that out, you'll know the exact reason all of these "female behaviors" were able to annoy you enough to compose the post in the first place. Just remember that "the world is your mirror". If you are pointing fingers at women for doing these things, it's because they are reflecting back some aspect of yourself that you don't like.

37 posted on 01/20/2008 10:06:20 PM PST by Mr. Jeeves ("Wise men don't need to debate; men who need to debate are not wise." -- Tao Te Ching)
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To: Mr. Jeeves

Did you wife make you say that?


38 posted on 01/20/2008 10:07:40 PM PST by Syncro
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To: Bear_Slayer

How did I make it through 32 years of marriage without this list?


39 posted on 01/20/2008 10:07:45 PM PST by CaptainK (...please make it stop. Shake a can of pennies at it.)
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To: GregoTX

I can’t leave this one alone, as it touched my life and left scars.

My mother believed this kind of thing. She tried to be perfect. So much so, she had two nervous breakdowns and 30 years of alcoholism. What she did to my sister and me was horrifying. My father was oblivious.

You see, what’s printed in that article only works when man and wife are both perfect people. Somethings are too painful to acknowledge.

Any one here perfect? I know I’m not, and I’ve never met a man who was either.


40 posted on 01/20/2008 10:07:48 PM PST by SatinDoll (Fredhead and proud of it!)
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To: donna
I'm sorry . . . .

































for your husband. :-)

41 posted on 01/20/2008 10:07:54 PM PST by Bear_Slayer (When liberty is outlawed only outlaws will have liberty.)
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To: Kevmo
Quit Nagging.

A nagging woman is like being pecked to death by a duck.

42 posted on 01/20/2008 10:08:04 PM PST by roamer_1 (Conservative always, Republican no more.)
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To: GregoTX
Photobucket
43 posted on 01/20/2008 10:08:11 PM PST by hercuroc
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To: Mr. Jeeves

Can’t sleep, plus — the dog is in the way. :-)


44 posted on 01/20/2008 10:09:30 PM PST by Bear_Slayer (When liberty is outlawed only outlaws will have liberty.)
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To: Bear_Slayer

ROTFLOL! From one Montanan to another, what do you do about the husband who nags and treats you like a little kid? ; )


45 posted on 01/20/2008 10:10:20 PM PST by Tamar1973 (Riding the Korean Wave, one recipe at a time http://www.youtube.com/Tamar1973)
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To: Bear_Slayer

Listen... we own half the money and ALL the *****

/thread

;) ;) ;)


46 posted on 01/20/2008 10:10:24 PM PST by KarenMarie
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To: Bear_Slayer

I’m going out with a woman who takes pride in laying mantraps and is unlike any other woman I’ve ever dated. She insists I sit in the big leather recliner at her place, gives me the remote, watches whatever I surf to, cooks incredible meals, does the dishes and rebukes me if I attempt to help, occasionally picks up the tab for a night out, Pauses the DVD if I doze off watching a movie, leaves me alone when I’m working on my truck but comes out and brings me coffee at the right time. Flowers get me an immediate and ‘responsive’ thank-you. She Doesn’t whine, complain or b_tch about anything and she’s never had a headache.

She’s quite unlike any I’ve ever met before.


47 posted on 01/20/2008 10:10:57 PM PST by Rb ver. 2.0 (Global warming is the new Marxism.)
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To: Hildy

Hildy, please be sure to ping me to your post ;)


48 posted on 01/20/2008 10:11:02 PM PST by lawgirl (She comes on like thunder and she's more right than rain)
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To: SatinDoll; GregoTX
My Gawd! You dug up a dinosaur!!

Proof of that is this line:

"Be a little gay and a little more interested in him."

Or maybe that would be in a newer version...

Notice what is circled in the bottom right? LOL

49 posted on 01/20/2008 10:11:04 PM PST by Syncro
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To: GregoTX

bump


50 posted on 01/20/2008 10:11:38 PM PST by VOA
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