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Middle school issues ban on intentional flatulence
VillageSoup/Knox County Times ^ | 2/1/08 | Holly S. Anderson

Posted on 02/04/2008 3:04:16 PM PST by null and void

CAMDEN (Feb 1): The Merriam Webster Dictionary definition for flatulence is brief: "flatus expelled through the anus." And while it's a natural bodily function, it seems some Camden-Rockport Middle School eighth-grade boys are taking it to new heights and making a game of seeing who can expel the loudest and grossest flatus. Advertisement

According to this week's Fire Cracker school newsletter though, the joke's on the boys as the penalty for "intentional farting" is now a detention.

"Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS," the newsletter said. "It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!"

According to a group of seventh-grade students milling around downtown following Friday's storm-related early release, the eighth-graders' escapades are well known in the school.

"They would do it in science class and other places," said Jordan Tyler. "It's a natural occurrence and we all do it 16 times a day."

When questioned where he learned that information, Tyler and the other students all said it was true, though they couldn't remember where they heard it.

One of the other students, Kyle Ruger, said the act by the boys was funny, but he had mixed feelings about whether it was appropriate.

Jordan Knowlton minced no words when she expressed how she felt, saying, "It's gross."

Remy LeVine said he was in the class when CRMS science teacher Brad LaRoche talked to all the eighth-grade boys about the issue, as well as the consequences.

Attempts to reach CRMS Principal Maria Libby Friday afternoon were unsuccessful and school Superintendent Patricia Hopkins said she had not heard anything about the issue or the alleged suspected result, though she did get a good chuckle out of the news.

VillageSoup/Knox County Times Senior Reporter Holly S. Anderson can be reached at 207-236-2496 or by e-mail at holly@villagesoup.com.


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption
KEYWORDS: flatulence; publikskoolz
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If they can't fart, can they fly?


1 posted on 02/04/2008 3:04:17 PM PST by null and void
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To: null and void
King, the school mascot agrees with the ban.


2 posted on 02/04/2008 3:07:51 PM PST by Rb ver. 2.0 (Global warming is the new Marxism.)
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To: null and void
But, mine don't stink. Do I get an exception?

What if it is a silent but deadly one does the "smelt-her, dealt-her rule apply?

3 posted on 02/04/2008 3:11:49 PM PST by Michael.SF. ("democrat" -- 'one who panders to the crude and mindless whims of the masses " - Joseph J. Ellis)
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To: null and void

Well, at least they weren’t lighting them on fire.


4 posted on 02/04/2008 3:12:40 PM PST by Disambiguator
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To: null and void

You have got to be kidding me.....this is insane.


5 posted on 02/04/2008 3:12:55 PM PST by austinaero
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To: null and void

Well, they just banned about 50% of eighth grade boy humor.


6 posted on 02/04/2008 3:13:02 PM PST by Will88 ( The Worst Case Scenario: McCain with a Dhimm majority in the House and Senate)
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To: null and void

Sounds like a clear invitation to eat beans & franks everyday for lunch.


7 posted on 02/04/2008 3:13:47 PM PST by Excuse_My_Bellicosity (...and forgive us our farts, as we forgive those that fart against us...)
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To: austinaero
*sigh* Ya THINK?!?!?
8 posted on 02/04/2008 3:13:50 PM PST by null and void (Conservatism. It's the new Black...)
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To: Will88

I’d say maybe more. (My son is in 8th grade)...


9 posted on 02/04/2008 3:14:36 PM PST by null and void (Conservatism. It's the new Black...)
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To: null and void

Al Gore would be proud...contributes to Global Warming doncha know!?!


10 posted on 02/04/2008 3:17:17 PM PST by Drago
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To: null and void

Maybe it will just be a fart in the wind....


11 posted on 02/04/2008 3:18:10 PM PST by Califreak (Hangin' with Hunter-under the bus "Dread and Circuses")
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To: null and void

“I fart in your general direction”.....(Monty Python)


12 posted on 02/04/2008 3:18:16 PM PST by traditional1
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To: Allegra; ErnBatavia; Lurkin Lurch; humblegunner

PING!!


13 posted on 02/04/2008 3:18:19 PM PST by wazoo1031
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To: Disambiguator

If they hold them in, they might spontaneously combust. This is dangerous. On the other hand, think of the implications for the globalist warmening hoax.

Announcer: ‘...and Mrs Clinton’s a&s keeps getting bigger and bigger...”

All the answers can be found in old South Park epsiodes.

Also, these kids could use “Under-Ease” activated carbon underpants.


14 posted on 02/04/2008 3:19:05 PM PST by NDpapajoe (Way to go Ohio, We're all Buckeye Fans now!)
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To: null and void

I know of a 7th grader who used to clear out a quarter of the classroom every day with noisy and very smelly gas. He would sit there and strain and all the kids would yell “Somebody stop him. He’s doing it again!” He was offered a bathroom pass, which he declined - That is when the detention was writen and he was kicked out of class for a week ...It is now legend at the school.


15 posted on 02/04/2008 3:19:27 PM PST by Martins kid
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To: null and void

"Good thing my grandma don't go to school. With her walkin' farts problem she'd be in detention the rest of her life."

16 posted on 02/04/2008 3:19:32 PM PST by OB1kNOb (What a pathetic state of GOP affairs it has come to, picking a lesser evil nominee.)
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To: null and void
It's natural, right?

Go 'head ... prove it's intentional !

HaH !!

My 14 yo son and his buddy roll around, laughing their asses off when they get into farting contests.

I miss being that free ... God bless boys that can let go a fart and laugh like hell about it ... and burp ... and pick their noses and fling their boogers ... these guys grow up to be warriors.

God bless 'em, I say.

17 posted on 02/04/2008 3:20:15 PM PST by knarf (I say things that are true ... I have no proof ... but they're true.)
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To: null and void

Pull my finger...


18 posted on 02/04/2008 3:20:21 PM PST by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
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To: Califreak

I did consider putting this in wind-Breaking News...


19 posted on 02/04/2008 3:21:07 PM PST by null and void (Conservatism. It's the new Black...)
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To: null and void
I’m so glad our young are receiving a quality education.
20 posted on 02/04/2008 3:21:32 PM PST by MrsEmmaPeel (7/9 of the Supreme Court justices at the time of Kelo vs New London were appointed by Republicans...)
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To: null and void

Alternative fuel ping! snicker snicker


21 posted on 02/04/2008 3:22:43 PM PST by Califreak (Hangin' with Hunter-under the bus "Dread and Circuses")
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To: null and void

Banning intentional flatulence in schools eh? Well then, no more Democratic debates at educational facilities going forward.


22 posted on 02/04/2008 3:24:00 PM PST by hometoroost (...the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual. Galileo)
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To: null and void

23 posted on 02/04/2008 3:24:01 PM PST by traditional1
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To: null and void
LOL! Detention makes it even more tempting (I couldn't imagine my father being angry when hearing that I had broken a school rule by "intentionally farting").

And what is a teacher to do when his/her back is turned to the board and the characteristic toot is heard?

I'm farticus

24 posted on 02/04/2008 3:24:14 PM PST by M203M4 (True Universal Suffrage: Pets of dead illegal-immigrant felons voting Democrat (twice))
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To: Disambiguator
Well, at least they weren’t lighting them on fire.

But if they had, the school newspaper would have been all over it. [According to this week's Fire Cracker school newsletter though...]

25 posted on 02/04/2008 3:24:36 PM PST by Go Gordon (The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.)
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To: null and void

This will only escalate the gas warfare to the SBD (Silent But Deadly) stage. “He who dealt it smelt it.”


26 posted on 02/04/2008 3:27:01 PM PST by Post Toasties (It's not a smear if it's true.)
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Comment #27 Removed by Moderator

To: Morgana

28 posted on 02/04/2008 3:30:20 PM PST by I'm ALL Right! (R.I.P . Conservatism 1790 - 2008)
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Comment #29 Removed by Moderator

To: Post Toasties
This will only escalate the gas warfare to the SBD (Silent But Deadly) stage. “He who dealt it smelt it.”

Yeah, they'll walk by someone else. Let go. Turn to the teacher and try to bust them. This rule wont get very far.
30 posted on 02/04/2008 3:32:39 PM PST by kinoxi
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Comment #31 Removed by Moderator

To: Will88

They’re going to ban something boys have been doing since the days of Leonidas in ancient Sparta?

Anyway, this activity normally ceases when boys discover girls.


32 posted on 02/04/2008 3:35:17 PM PST by elcid1970
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Comment #33 Removed by Moderator

To: Morgana

That must be the town Mensa member.


34 posted on 02/04/2008 3:35:25 PM PST by I'm ALL Right! (R.I.P . Conservatism 1790 - 2008)
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Comment #35 Removed by Moderator

To: Excuse_My_Bellicosity
Sounds like a clear invitation to eat beans & franks everyday for lunch.

More beans, Mr. Taggart!

36 posted on 02/04/2008 3:36:40 PM PST by lightman (The Office of the Keys should be exercised as some ministry needs to be Exorcised.)
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To: Michael.SF.

37 posted on 02/04/2008 3:37:00 PM PST by Rb ver. 2.0 (Global warming is the new Marxism.)
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To: null and void
I wonder if some parents will assist by feeding their children (on request) the following: Beans, cabbage, crab cakes, and broccolli. (seems to be a conspiracy against the B and C foods)

Brought to you by the letter R

38 posted on 02/04/2008 3:37:00 PM PST by Centurion2000 (When a population loses faith in the justice system, criminals will fight to the death more often.)
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Comment #39 Removed by Moderator

To: OB1kNOb

Now that’s funny, I don’t care who you are!


40 posted on 02/04/2008 3:40:22 PM PST by visualops (artlife.us nature wallpapers)
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To: null and void

41 posted on 02/04/2008 3:41:28 PM PST by Outland (Liberalism is a mental disorder. Socialism is a deep psychosis. Communism is brain cancer.)
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To: lightman
I should say you've had enough !!!


42 posted on 02/04/2008 3:42:06 PM PST by Centurion2000 (When a population loses faith in the justice system, criminals will fight to the death more often.)
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Comment #43 Removed by Moderator

To: null and void
Ban farting? Well, that stinks.

Oh....wait....

44 posted on 02/04/2008 3:42:35 PM PST by Pablo64 (What is popular is not always right. What is right is not always popular.)
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Comment #45 Removed by Moderator

To: TheStickman

“I ping in your general direction”


46 posted on 02/04/2008 3:46:33 PM PST by visualops (artlife.us nature wallpapers)
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Comment #47 Removed by Moderator

To: OB1kNOb
I'm a grandma. It's a gift!! Evokes pity. "Can we do something for you grandma?"

If you eat a lot of oatmeal, you turn into a train!!

48 posted on 02/04/2008 3:47:43 PM PST by Sacajaweau ("The Cracker" will be renamed "The Crapper")
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To: Morgana

“I am not sure, but I think this one is for real”

I’ve never done that and once thought it was just BS. But a good friend proved me wrong around age 15.


49 posted on 02/04/2008 3:48:37 PM PST by Will88 ( The Worst Case Scenario: McCain with a Dhimm majority in the House and Senate)
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To: knarf

[My 14 yo son and his buddy roll around, laughing their asses off when they get into farting contests.]

The eight kinds of farts-

The Fizz
The Fuzz
The Fizzy-Fuzz
The Fuzzy-Fizz
The Rip
The S4it
The Tear Ass
And the Pletchhhhhh

My recollections from a 1950’s risque record!

In another there was a “blow by blow” account of a farting contest. One participant was disqualified because he S4IT!

eeeeuuuuuuwwwwwwwwww


50 posted on 02/04/2008 3:49:23 PM PST by dbacks (Taglines for sale or rent.)
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