Skip to comments.Middle school issues ban on intentional flatulence
Posted on 02/04/2008 3:04:16 PM PST by null and void
CAMDEN (Feb 1): The Merriam Webster Dictionary definition for flatulence is brief: "flatus expelled through the anus." And while it's a natural bodily function, it seems some Camden-Rockport Middle School eighth-grade boys are taking it to new heights and making a game of seeing who can expel the loudest and grossest flatus. Advertisement
According to this week's Fire Cracker school newsletter though, the joke's on the boys as the penalty for "intentional farting" is now a detention.
"Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS," the newsletter said. "It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!"
According to a group of seventh-grade students milling around downtown following Friday's storm-related early release, the eighth-graders' escapades are well known in the school.
"They would do it in science class and other places," said Jordan Tyler. "It's a natural occurrence and we all do it 16 times a day."
When questioned where he learned that information, Tyler and the other students all said it was true, though they couldn't remember where they heard it.
One of the other students, Kyle Ruger, said the act by the boys was funny, but he had mixed feelings about whether it was appropriate.
Jordan Knowlton minced no words when she expressed how she felt, saying, "It's gross."
Remy LeVine said he was in the class when CRMS science teacher Brad LaRoche talked to all the eighth-grade boys about the issue, as well as the consequences.
Attempts to reach CRMS Principal Maria Libby Friday afternoon were unsuccessful and school Superintendent Patricia Hopkins said she had not heard anything about the issue or the alleged suspected result, though she did get a good chuckle out of the news.
VillageSoup/Knox County Times Senior Reporter Holly S. Anderson can be reached at 207-236-2496 or by e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.
What if it is a silent but deadly one does the "smelt-her, dealt-her rule apply?
Well, at least they weren’t lighting them on fire.
You have got to be kidding me.....this is insane.
Well, they just banned about 50% of eighth grade boy humor.
Sounds like a clear invitation to eat beans & franks everyday for lunch.
I’d say maybe more. (My son is in 8th grade)...
Al Gore would be proud...contributes to Global Warming doncha know!?!
Maybe it will just be a fart in the wind....
“I fart in your general direction”.....(Monty Python)
If they hold them in, they might spontaneously combust. This is dangerous. On the other hand, think of the implications for the globalist warmening hoax.
Announcer: ‘...and Mrs Clinton’s a&s keeps getting bigger and bigger...”
All the answers can be found in old South Park epsiodes.
Also, these kids could use “Under-Ease” activated carbon underpants.
I know of a 7th grader who used to clear out a quarter of the classroom every day with noisy and very smelly gas. He would sit there and strain and all the kids would yell “Somebody stop him. He’s doing it again!” He was offered a bathroom pass, which he declined - That is when the detention was writen and he was kicked out of class for a week ...It is now legend at the school.
"Good thing my grandma don't go to school. With her walkin' farts problem she'd be in detention the rest of her life."
Go 'head ... prove it's intentional !
My 14 yo son and his buddy roll around, laughing their asses off when they get into farting contests.
I miss being that free ... God bless boys that can let go a fart and laugh like hell about it ... and burp ... and pick their noses and fling their boogers ... these guys grow up to be warriors.
God bless 'em, I say.
Pull my finger...
I did consider putting this in wind-Breaking News...
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