Learn by Cooing: Empathy Lessons From Little Tykes

Wall Street Journal ^ | February 5, 2008 | Nick Wingfield

[ketsu]

Lack of corporal punishment coupled with absent or ineffectual fathers is the root of that problem.

Have you ever seen how those families function? Outside of them acting up in the supermarket I mean.

You wouldn't believe the interfamily violence.

Corporal punishment *can* be useful, but it's not the curative people think it is.

To me the real issues is parents trying to be "friends" with their kid. Children are not pets, they need firm discipline and clear boundaries. Both of which are perfectly possible without laying a hand on a child.

The key here is that society has become entitled and needy, not that kids aren't spanked.

[netmilsmom]

You are absolutely correct. I was just going on their idea.

I would love it if I could just get my 7500.00 per child for educating my own kids.

[knittnmom]

When I was little, mom said come home before dark, and I always did. One time she asked how I knew when to come home, not being able to read a clock yet, and I told her it’s because I heard the “night noises” - crickets & cicadas get really noisy just before nightfall.

That was back in East Peoria, Illinois - no parent should leave a child alone there now!

[netmilsmom]

Amazing isn’t it?

My homeschooled girls are in GS and Polish Dance. That’s it. They get along great and rarely fight. People don’t believe me when I say it.

We have days where everyone is on a different computer (Webkinz, FR, Slashdot for dad) but at any moment, one of us is calling to look at something. We all gather around that computer and laugh. We just have fun.

[Digital Sniper]

I have colleagues who share your views; equating corporal punishment with family violence. You ought to see how their children rule their house, constantly disobeying them. They know that the worst they'll ever get is a "timeout." And if the kids choose not to stay in "timeout," they know they'll never get a more sever punishment. And they know they've succeeded in making their parents prisoners of the same punishment they've been assigned, because they can force them to stand there as long as they do.

I only had to be struck twice in my early days. After that, it was the knowledge of my parent's willingness to invoke corporal punishment that made me rethink any plan of being a troublemaker.

That said, I do believe you are onto a core issue that people have long since confused rights with entitlements. I am wholly in agreement with you that we need to correct that error...and soon.

[netmilsmom]

Bet ya, dollars to donuts, kids couldn’t recognize those sounds now. Pity.

OT - My hubby had the news on last night. NBC I think. Someone was complaining that the National Parks are losing money because people spend their time in their homes.

I said to loosen up the hunting restrictions, spend money on rangers to make them safe and allow snowmobiles again. They would be filled. I know we’d be camping there.

[MrB]

You may not believe this, but I have heard those very words from those people.

What's not to believe - you hear these EXACT words from anyone that has a child who constantly misbehaves.

I pointed to another child that was behaving himself and was raised biblically and asked "do you think his spirit is broken?"

[ketsu]

I've dealt with children quite a bit. Corporal punishment is unnecessary. Physical control of the child and force of will is.

People, like all mammals, have dominance hierarchies. Children will test a parent or authority figure, but if the authority actually shows the proper behavior(eye contact, good posture, firm voice, strict expression) a child will behave.

The problem is that most people these days don't know how to deal with conflict, with their children or otherwise. Their children know that and run roughshod over them.

This isn't aimed at anyone in particular, but I don't recommend raising a child in America unless you homeschool in a like minded community with good social outlets or if you live in a mormon community.

[Cheesel]

We continue to hurtle towards being a Moonbat Nation.

[Cheesel]

We continue to hurtle towards being a Moonbat Nation.

[Appleby]

There is a reason that the sound of a crying baby is used as torture training for Navy SEALS.

Children who grow up in single-child families or in homes where he and his sister have their own fully-equipped bedrooms can probably benefit from having to learn to work in an environment where babies are crying, grabbing their stuff, biting their ankles and untying their shoelaces. But they are not going to learn “empathy” from this. They are going to learn how to work in the middle of uncontrolled, noise-intensive chaos.

[knittnmom]

Probably not.

My daughter is big into the wilderness, though. She recognizes not only the sounds of the cricket, but of various critters foraging through the undergrowth, etc. She attended several of the classes offered at the Tom Brown Tracking & Survival School in NJ.

[netmilsmom]

>>This isn’t aimed at anyone in particular, but I don’t recommend raising a child in America unless you homeschool in a like minded community with good social outlets or if you live in a mormon community.<<

And let me tell you, from a homeschooling mother, even that is not perfect.

When we talk about socializing our homeschoolers, many of us think putting them into activities means socializing. They are so wrong. Sticking kids into as many activities as possible in hour or two blocks is not going to get them “socialized”. Spending time with them and teaching them that things like picking noses and toots in public are not socially acceptable, will do more.

I can’t tell you how many homeschooled kids I know that have no clue how to act in public. It’s the parent’s fault too.

To some homeschooling moms, those occasions where they “socialize” their kids are their opportunity to ignore them completely. I have moms hand me their babies and walk away to talk and ignore all the little dumplings.

Drives me nuts.

[metesky]

It's part of a wave of programs aimed at boosting the "emotional literacy" of youngsters in schools by getting them to recognize and talk about their feelings rather than act out aggressively.

The juggernaut of feminization continues apace.