Skip to comments.Marry Him! The case for settling for Mr. Good Enough
Posted on 02/14/2008 6:25:05 AM PST by reaganaut1
About six months after my son was born, he and I were sitting on a blanket at the park with a close friend and her daughter. It was a sunny summer weekend, and other parents and their kids picnicked nearbymothers munching berries and lounging on the grass, fathers tossing balls with their giddy toddlers. My friend and I, who, in fits of self-empowerment, had conceived our babies with donor sperm because we hadnt met Mr. Right yet, surveyed the idyllic scene.
Ah, this is the dream, I said, and we nodded in silence for a minute, then burst out laughing. In some ways, I meant it: wed both dreamed of motherhood, and here we were, picnicking in the park with our children. But it was also decidedly not the dream. The dream, like that of our mothers and their mothers from time immemorial, was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. Of course, wed be loath to admit it in this day and age, but ask any soul-baring 40-year-old single heterosexual woman what she most longs for in life, and she probably wont tell you its a better career or a smaller waistline or a bigger apartment. Most likely, shell say that what she really wants is a husband (and, by extension, a child).
(Excerpt) Read more at theatlantic.com ...
Well, they do get it more often.
As a rule I try to read the articles,but four pages of that drivel,no thanks...
Or at least a lower rate of STD transmission.
The seldom talked about real issue here is that of “marrying up.” In our culture, for many centuries most women could marry up, to a man who was of higher social and economic status. This was because both the bottom and the top of the male ladder were higher than the female ladder.
Women demanded equality and got it. Now there are very few men available for the women at the top of the female status ladder. Meanwhile, many high status men are still quite happy “marrying down,” reducing the pickings for high-status females even more.
It seems most high-status females have reacted by getting POed at life in general and men in particular, rather than recognizing that they must reorder their priorities.
It would be best if these women hadn’t been taught in today’s educational system that
there is no objective standard (which there is)
so that they could not “settle” for “good enough”, but have a fixed yardstick by which to measure their potential mate.
If women were MORE choosy (about whom they marry, choose to have kids with, etc), men would have to have better character.
They want a trophy husband and will still not be satisfied by the marriage.
The baby was an accessory. Go to the store/sperm bank and pick one out. Now add an adult man to that equation.
This is a life?
Its not just that, but sex without love is vacant.
We have three children ranging from 16 to 9. We have spent the last three nights getting Valentine’s day candies and cards together to hand out at school and about 4 hours baking last night cupcakes and cookies for “boyfriends”.
We did it as a family - it is what the story misses - really what a family is by simply doing the little things that bond everyone together.
You don’t need to settle if you’re worth having. The secret is to live your life and value system to be worth having.
Too many times it’s thought of as the bride settling. Could be the groom is as well.
That said, halitosis is gross.
I’ve been married nearly 17 years so I’m a little out of the loop. However, via living vicariously thru friends I’ve seen that many of the folks who are single at this age for a reason. Some have horrendous personal habits, over inflated ego’s, or are unwilling to make any changes to their lives for the sake of a relationship.
How many men have settled for Miss “Oh my God I’ll never drink again”?
“If women were MORE choosy (about whom they marry, choose to have kids with, etc), men would have to have better character.’
IMO it should read “If women were more choosy about whom they sleep with”, men would have to have better character.
Women seem to have become the aggressors.
It degrades over time.
When we were first married, it was sex 3 or 4 times a day.
After a year it was sex 3 or 4 times a week.
After 5 years it was sex 3 or 4 times a month.
Now that we are 10 years along it's sex 3 or 4 times a year, and even then I need to make an appointment. - Anonymous
Yes, but as vacant experiences go, it's one of the best!
Another thing to consider:
I’m a VERY independent woman and have, and most likely always will, make my own living in this world. The idea of being less than an equal partner with my husband doesn’t appeal to me in the least. However, it occurred to me early on that I couldn’t have everything I wanted at the same time.
So, I had my career, then I married and gained an instant family (three young boys!) late, at age 35.
What women fail to realize is that we CAN have it all...just not ALL AT ONCE.
And I married “down” to a guy fresh out of college (he started late, too) with only a few years of work under his belt at the time. My military career would be ending when I was 37 and I had my twenty. Helping him in his career and taking care of the Home Front while HE succeeded was very satisfying, and he greatly appreciated it. It was a good balance. :)
You get what you pay for?
I got married, for the first time, very late in life. Best thing that ever happened to me.
I pity the woman in the story. She is still lonely, it seems.
Oh, for Ghu's sake, not another McCain thread....
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