ok, you said your friend’s dad got ‘confused,’ then that gays are ‘born that way.’ was the dad born that way? did he stay gay? I can’t speak for all, but most of the gay men I know had absent or bad fathers. I think some go gay to have close male relationships they missed out on. A lot of lesbians also, and many were victims of sexual abuse, especially the ‘lipstick’ lesbians. The breakdown of the family and no fathers is contributory.
I don't know about my friends fathers father. My friends father was a nice guy but distant. His mother was a great lady but drank a lot. I doubt there was any abuse of my friends lesbian sister. My friends father was around every day. He was a dentist and made a lot of $$$. At one point he bought a travel agency for his "friend" who was a swishy little guy. It was on the corner of Montrose and Westheimer in Houston which is the queer enclave. So we were down there a lot and that started some odd adventures for us I won't go in to.
The little queer guy ran the travel agency and promptly stole money like crazy. And my friends father did not care.
Once my friends dad bought the travel agency he and his wife and many times the little queer started traveling all over the world. Especially in the summer. So there we were, age 17, with a huge house stocked with all the food and liquor we could want and a couple of Mercedes and Jags we could use all we wanted. Nice big pool, etc. I almost lived there at times and my parents thought I was being closely supervised by my friends parents. Until my dad met my friends dad one day and my dads "gaydar" went off. Another story.
As far as whether these guys were born queer? I can't say 100% for sure but I do know many of them hated themselves because of what they were doing. Oh, they'd act like it was great, especially the "swishy" ones. But I had many a late night conversation with a drunk queer and found that many were self-loathing and self-destructive. If some could have changed I believe they would have.
I'd expect that my experience back then was somewhat unique since there are no way near the number of queer folk as they would want us to believe. I also saw the advent of the local gay activist groups. Those guys were not like the swishy ones at all. What they wanted then is what I guess what they want now. And that is that you HAVE to agree they are normal and that they are just like the rest of us. Over the years those activist queers have done a brilliant job of manipulating our society such that it now turns a blind eye to what queers "do" to each other. Which are things I find gross because.
Sorry for the long and boring post.......