Jon Stewart's Oscar monologue

National Post ^ | February 24, 2008 | Jon Stewart

[ari-freedom]

... Oscar is 80 this year, which makes him now automatically the frontrunner for the Republican nomination. You have to admit, this is a huge election. An historic election. So much excitement. For the first time in so many years we don’t have an incumbent president or an incumbent vice-president. The field is wide open. Have you all had a chance to examine all the candidates, study their positions and pick the Democrat you’ll vote for? Democrats do have an historic race going. Hillary Clinton vs Barack Obama. Normally, when you see a black man or a woman president an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty. How will we know it’s the future? Silver unitards, that can’t be all? You have to give Barack Obama credit, he’s overcome a great deal. Not just he’s an African-American. Barack Hussein Obama is his name. His middle name is the last name of Iraq’s former tyrant. His last name rhymes with Osama. That’s not easy to overcome. I think we all remember the ill fated 1944 presidential campaign of Gaydolf Titler. It’s just a shame, Titler had so many good ideas. We just couldn’t get past the name. And the moustache. But, are you ready to have a wonderful show ladies and gentlemen and welcome back to this town? I’m delighted that you’re here. We’re going to have a great night.

[org.whodat]

Oscar is 80 this year, which makes him now automatically the front-runner for the Republican nomination.

That one was dead on funny!!

[JennysCool]

That's one I really want to see, along with No Country for Old Men. The Coens are two-of-a-kind.

[SIDENET]

They still televise the Oscars?

[woofie]

Yep Daniel Day Lewis was phenomenal and No Country (violent as all get out) was mighty good

[aragona]

Oscars are Boooring!!! I stopped watching after the first song was performed. Good lord, I have better things to do with my time (like get caught up on freeper blogs).

[NaughtiusMaximus]

How will we know it’s the future? Silver unitards, that can’t be all?

Well, that and clear lycra sandals.

[badpacifist]

Best moment for me was GLEN HANSARD, MARKETA IRGLOVA for best song. Falling slowly from the movie “Once”.

[Miss Behave]

Whoops, woofie—Lewis, of course. And yes, guys—I’m really looking forward to seeing No Country. LOVE the Coen bros. Sheer genius, those two.

Norm...prowler needs a jump.

[Miss Behave]

"He didn't leave the usual teeth marks on the scenery?"

Ya got me on that one, Stentor. I needs some hep.

[DoughtyOne]

I’m ashamed to say I may have seen two nanoseconds as I hurriedly channel hoped on by.

[proudpapa]

Was it the first time you were proud to be an American not watching one nano-second?

[STONEWALLS]

...they gotta get Billy Crystal back in there...nobody can open the show like Billy....tonight there was polite laughter and that’s about it.

[GOPJ]

Not just he’s an African-American. Barack Hussein Obama is his name. His middle name is the last name of Iraq’s former tyrant. His last name rhymes with Osama. That’s not easy to overcome. I think we all remember the ill fated 1944 presidential campaign of Gaydolf Titler. It’s just a shame, Titler had so many good ideas. We just couldn’t get past the name. And the moustache.

Anyone this funny gets a pass...

[FFranco]

Flying cars.

[SoCal Pubbie]

“Chewing the scenery” is a term for overacting.

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

Anyone else think it wasn’t just a coincidence that they had soldiers from Iraq announce the Oscar for a short subject documentary and the film was about same sex marriage?

[Miss Behave]

Thanks, SoCal. I have never heard that. ;-)

[Williams]

Whatever his politics, I think Stewart is doing a dreadfully unfunny job.

[ari-freedom]

well I didn’t post this on FR to be funny. the real story is here is a liberal connecting Obama to Hussein and Osama right before the most important primary for Hillary.

[skimask]

Do you remember “Raising Arizona”? Nicolas Cage and Holly Hunter. One of the greatest comedies I have ever seen.