Howie column ping
Difference between Dem and ... Dem
By Howie Carr | Sunday, March 9, 2008 | http://www.bostonherald.com
It really is a civil war in the Democratic party now. The party is rent between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, between hacks and moonbats, between those who work with their hands and those who dont work, period.
The battle, as The Economist magazine put it, pits Baracks wine-sippers against Hillarys beer-guzzlers. Oddly, theyre all liberals, but there are so many stark contrasts between the two wings of the party that theyre tearing each other asunder.
Baracks voters are New Age. Hillarys voters . . . old age.
At their respective rallies, Hillarys voters shout, while Baracks swoon.
Hillary voters get their coffee at Dunkin Donuts. Baracks are strictly Starbucks.
If Hillary wins, her supporters are hoping for a job. Baracks will be looking for a grant.
Clinton voters know who caused 9/11 - Arab terrorists. Obama voters know who caused 9/11 - Halliburton.
Hillarys supporters are more or less for gay rights. Obamas insist on transgendered rights.
Obama aides call Hillary a monster. Hillary aides call Obama Ken Starr - their definition of a monster.
Hillarys hens drive SUVs. Obamas peeps drive Priuses (with bicycle racks on the roof).
A lot of Hillarys voters rely on oxygen. Baracks rely on Oxys.
If theyre out and about in the woods in the winter, Clinton voters are riding snowmobiles. Obamas are cross-country skiing.
Hillary at least has a few backers who like to fish. If Obama has any anglers, theyre fly fishermen, and they believe totally in catch and release . . . in other words, they have the same philosophy about fish that they have about violent criminals.
Eating fish? Hillarys crew goes to Red Lobster. Baracks people prefer sushi.
Hillarys people are out on workers comp. Baracks people are out on trust funds.
It is a battle over culture, The Economist said. Mrs. Clintons supporters look at Mr. Obamas and see latte-drinking elitists. Mr. Obamas supporters look at Mrs. Clintons and smell all sorts of ancestral sins, not least racism. The two groups neither like nor respect each other.
You saw it in the Democratic primary here last month. The split between the two candidates even came down to the way they pronounced the name of the state. Hillary, who lived here four years, pronounces it the way we do. Massachusetts. Barack Obama, who spent seven fun-filled years at Harvard, calls it Massa-tu-setts.
Hillary won Massachusetts going away. She snagged working-class Waltham; chi-chi Weston next door went heavily for Barack. The town of Watertown, split down the middle between blue and white collars, split down the middle between the candidates.
On the South Coast, Geraldo Riveras summer home of Marion, Massa-tu-setts came through big for Obama. Freeport, where they still begin most civic gatherings with the pledge of allegiance, is Hillary country.
Ironic, isnt it? Once it was the Clintons who were the insurgents, the draft-dodging, pot-smoking, partial birth abortion-backing Ivy League limousine libs. Now, compared to Barack Obamas radical-chic comrades, Bill n Hill look like refugees from the local Tuesday-night candlepin-bowling league in Billerica.
Hillary Clinton just loathed the military. Michelle Obama, an entitled elitist from Princeton and Harvard Law, hates the whole damn country.
Hillary supporters still listen to NPR. Barack voters play their iPods.
On the water, Obama voters use kayaks. Clinton supporters prefer powerboats.
Hillary vs. Barack - its the difference between civil unions and gay marriage, between Social Security and SSI, between football and soccer. Its Sal DiMasi vs. Deval Patrick. Its Ed King vs. Mike Dukakis.
Hillarys supporters, at least a few of them, took ROTC in college. The only connection Baracks zombies had with ROTC was picketing the armory.
Hillary supporters use the word like as a verb to describe something for which they have affection. Obama and his supporters use like as an adjective. To quote the candidate himself, Ive answered like eight questions already.
Hillary vs. Barack - isnt it a shame they cant both lose?
Article URL: http://www.bostonherald.com/news/opinion/columnists/view.bg?articleid=1078914
I figured it was a mistake, but the article's on line (for a while, until they change the URL) and the byline hasn't been changed.
Howie reads novels? I guess he really is a beautiful person.