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Chuck Norris Turns 68 Today
boston.com ^
| 3/10/08
Posted on 03/10/2008 8:05:42 PM PDT by South40
Behold Chuck Norris! Our nation's greatest hero turns 68 today but we're celebrating his birthweek - not a single birthday like an ordinary human.
In honor of this enormous event, we've decided to pay homage to the many legends about Norris on the Web. There are entire sites dedicated to his legend, and here's a sampling of some of the best of the best from those sites.
Legend #1
(Excerpt) Read more at boston.com ...
TOPICS: Miscellaneous
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1
posted on
03/10/2008 8:05:43 PM PDT
by
South40
To: South40
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
2
posted on
03/10/2008 8:09:10 PM PDT
by
Perdogg
(Reagan would have never said "She's my girl")
To: South40
Did you know that Monsters check under their beds to make sure Chuck Norris isn't under it before they go to sleep?
3
posted on
03/10/2008 8:09:41 PM PDT
by
txroadkill
(Liberals believe that the only oppressed people in Cuba are the terrorist in GitMo)
To: South40
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer.
Chuck Norris is always in control
4
posted on
03/10/2008 8:09:57 PM PDT
by
mountn man
(The pleasure you get from life, is equal to the attitude you put into it.)
To: Perdogg
When Chuck Norris does push ups he is actually pushing the planet away from him.
5
posted on
03/10/2008 8:10:45 PM PDT
by
txroadkill
(Liberals believe that the only oppressed people in Cuba are the terrorist in GitMo)
To: mountn man
Did you know that the dark is actually afraid of Chuck Norris?
6
posted on
03/10/2008 8:12:57 PM PDT
by
txroadkill
(Liberals believe that the only oppressed people in Cuba are the terrorist in GitMo)
To: South40
Actually, Chuck Norris has been dead for the last ten years. It’s just that Death is still scared to come get him.
7
posted on
03/10/2008 8:14:10 PM PDT
by
RichInOC
(...William Frank Buckley, Jr., November 24, 1925-February 27, 2008, R.I.P.)
To: txroadkill
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has never had to pay taxes ever.
8
posted on
03/10/2008 8:15:26 PM PDT
by
FormerACLUmember
(When the past no longer illuminates the future, the spirit walks in darkness.)
To: RichInOC
When 911 gets in trouble, it dials Chuck Norris.
9
posted on
03/10/2008 8:16:15 PM PDT
by
txroadkill
(Liberals believe that the only oppressed people in Cuba are the terrorist in GitMo)
To: South40
Chuck Norris stared down age. He is now 45.
10
posted on
03/10/2008 8:19:29 PM PDT
by
irishtenor
(Check out my blog at http://boompa53.blogspot.com/)
To: South40
He looks like he’s in his 40’s to me.
11
posted on
03/10/2008 8:21:18 PM PDT
by
Xenophon450
(I guess I'll never know, some things under the sun can never be understood...)
To: South40
“our nation’s greatest hero” ? For doing what? Selling Total Gyms? Supporting loser ex-Governors of Arkansas?
Who writes this dreck?
12
posted on
03/10/2008 8:22:08 PM PDT
by
exit82
(People get the government they deserve. And they are about to get it--in spades.)
To: South40
My hero. He used to own a house just down the road from me, but I never got a glimpse of him.....too bad.
To: LongElegantLegs
14
posted on
03/10/2008 8:24:53 PM PDT
by
r-q-tek86
(If you're not taking flak, you're not over the target.)
To: exit82
I saw someone interview Norris in his home gym area a while back. There wasn’t a Total Gym anywhere to be found.
15
posted on
03/10/2008 8:27:28 PM PDT
by
Moonman62
(The issue of whether cheap labor makes America great should have been settled by the Civil War.)
To: South40
Chuck Norris uses the total gym in order to give IT a real workout.
That nice juicy steak is what results when Chuck Norris tickles a raging bull.
Chuck Norris’ saliva is sold and marketed as “Jack Daniels”
16
posted on
03/10/2008 8:32:24 PM PDT
by
ari-freedom
(McCain must pick a conservative VP if he wants conservative support)
To: exit82
You should’t have said that...
Chuck hase roundhouse-kicked people heads off for smaller offenses
17
posted on
03/10/2008 8:32:59 PM PDT
by
r-q-tek86
(If you're not taking flak, you're not over the target.)
To: South40
Every time Chuck celebrates a birthday, the rest of the world fears their death day
18
posted on
03/10/2008 8:33:40 PM PDT
by
ari-freedom
(McCain must pick a conservative VP if he wants conservative support)
To: South40
To: r-q-tek86
Now he will roundhouse kick me for mis-spelling “has” :-(
20
posted on
03/10/2008 8:33:51 PM PDT
by
r-q-tek86
(If you're not taking flak, you're not over the target.)
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