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Dr. Laura: Women Share Blame for Cheating Men
MSNBC ^ | March 11, 2008 | Mike Celizic

Posted on 03/11/2008 5:30:41 PM PDT by Cecily

Dr. Laura Schlessinger has never been one to shrink from controversy, and she leaped headlong into one on Monday when she said that if a husband cheats, his wife may share some of the blame.

“When the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he’s very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs,” the popular psychologist and radio personality said.

More commonly known as just “Dr. Laura,” Schlessinger made the remarks while participating in one of several panel discussions on TODAY dealing with the breaking news that New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer had been connected to a high-priced prostitution ring.

(Excerpt) Read more at msnbc.msn.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: adultery; drlaura; genderwars; harpiesalert; talkradio
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I've said it before and I'll say it again; Dr. Laura is a harpy and a misogynist.

Funny how she never blames men for much of anything. If a woman cheats, does hubby share the blame? I doubt Dr. Laura would say so.

1 posted on 03/11/2008 5:30:42 PM PDT by Cecily
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To: Cecily

Dr. Laura is harder on guys that look at porn than who use prostitutes.


2 posted on 03/11/2008 5:32:03 PM PDT by Always Right (Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?)
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To: Cecily
Funny how she never blames men for much of anything.

I think she tries to over compensate for a world that blames men for everything. Although she seems to have jumped the shark here.

3 posted on 03/11/2008 5:33:36 PM PDT by Always Right (Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?)
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To: Cecily
Sounds like Dr Laura is being reasonable on this one....

I told my daughters that men who have slobby, short hair, un womanly women, have girlfriends who are sharp, womanly and sexy...because it's a fact.

4 posted on 03/11/2008 5:35:55 PM PDT by Keith Brown (Among the other evils being unarmed brings you, it causes you to be despised Machiavelli.)
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To: Always Right

She probably just doesn’t want them finding her nude pictures on the Web. :)


5 posted on 03/11/2008 5:36:01 PM PDT by Cecily
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To: Cecily

Its quite simple. Men are horny. If they don’t have self-control, they get in trouble. She is not a man, so she wouldn’t understand.

She is very annoying.


6 posted on 03/11/2008 5:36:22 PM PDT by dinoparty
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To: Cecily

No excuse for adultery, but as a practical matter, she’s right. If you are a poor excuse for a husband or a wife, you will pay the price sooner or later. Seems like lately I can meet a couple, see how they treat each other, and know pretty quickly where things are headed.

A couple of years later my wife will say, “Did you hear ..(fill in adultery/divorce story here)”, and I’ll smugly say, “See, I told you.”

My wife may leave me one day for smugness.


7 posted on 03/11/2008 5:37:06 PM PDT by stinkerpot65 (Global warming is a Marxist lie.)
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To: Cecily
I doubt Dr. Laura would say so

Maybe not. But in the big picture, men are blamed more than women. Just watch an Oprah show. Men are routinely booed and hissed on that show if they are the cheater. The women are much less so if they are. It's amazing so many metro's are willing to go on there for a lashing they know they will surely receive.

8 posted on 03/11/2008 5:37:12 PM PDT by ponder life (...)
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To: Cecily

After seeing her in her youth, I always think of her name as Dr. Laura Slutinger.


9 posted on 03/11/2008 5:37:16 PM PDT by bjs1779
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To: Cecily

It has long been established that if you keep your man in the doghouse too long you shouldn’t be surprised to find him in the cat house.


10 posted on 03/11/2008 5:38:05 PM PDT by krb (If you're not outraged, people probably like having you around.)
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To: Cecily
She is absolutely 100% correct!!!
11 posted on 03/11/2008 5:38:09 PM PDT by Ken522
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To: Cecily
Dr. Laura is too nice, giving Spitzer the benefit of the doubt of being a regular human being with regular needs of regular men. SHe needs too take into account that Spitzer is a psychotic, sadistic assh*le.
12 posted on 03/11/2008 5:39:19 PM PDT by bigjoesaddle (Toby Keith doesn't want to be fed, Toby Keith wants to HUNT!)
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To: Cecily

I think Dr. Laura is right on on this one. A lot of women fail to satisfy their man at his sexual peak only to be lonely when theirs kicks in later.


13 posted on 03/11/2008 5:39:23 PM PDT by RushingWater (Pres. Bush honors Mexican sovereignty over our own - Pardon Ramos/Campeon/Hernandez)
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To: Ken522

Ditto on that!!


14 posted on 03/11/2008 5:39:58 PM PDT by bmwcyle (I am the watchman on the tower sounding the alarm.)
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To: Cecily

Why do you think men cheat?


15 posted on 03/11/2008 5:40:39 PM PDT by The_Republican (You know why Chelsea Clinton is so Ugly? Because Janet Reno is her Father! LOL! - Mac is Back!)
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To: Cecily

Dr Laura shouldn’t say JACK what her naked photos were sold on the internet HELLOOOO


16 posted on 03/11/2008 5:40:42 PM PDT by SevenofNine ("We are Freepers, all your media belong to us, resistence is futile")
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To: dinoparty

she has a point.

We hear about it constantly, who wants to go home to a nag and a schrew? nobody.

Do the same people who condemn adultery also condemn the person who get a divorce to get away from the above stated smelly schrew? yes. can’t have both.


17 posted on 03/11/2008 5:41:08 PM PDT by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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To: Cecily

I agree with some things she says, but I’ve disagreed a lot. I heard her once tell a gal to get over it and don’t be upset her hubby was looking at porn on the internet secretly. I was surprised.

She seems to be harder on the women than she is men, but that is just my opinion.


18 posted on 03/11/2008 5:42:08 PM PDT by Halls (Hebrews 12:4)
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To: krb

The woman knows about what she’s saying. Women can drive a man to drink, they can drive a man to look for idolization elsewhere and there are plenty of women who will feed a man’s ego, marriage notwithstanding.

“It’s Hillary’s fault! There I said it. You know what happens when a guy don’t get his medicine.” Chris Rock - He said it several years before Laura.

And you know what, he’s probably right there too.


19 posted on 03/11/2008 5:42:30 PM PDT by romanesq
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To: Cecily
She has a point:


20 posted on 03/11/2008 5:42:32 PM PDT by Michael.SF. ("democrat" -- 'one who panders to the crude and mindless whims of the masses " - Joseph J. Ellis)
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To: RushingWater

sorry if I disagree there. My hubby is always willing and ready when I want it.


21 posted on 03/11/2008 5:43:20 PM PDT by Halls (Hebrews 12:4)
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To: stinkerpot65

I agree with you. While one does the act, the other can look at themselves and say, “What did I do to drive him/her to that point?”

Shoot, in business, whenever someone quits their job I ask the same question. I see a resignation as a mark on me, and ask what I could have done differently to save it.

It’s really the only way to grow in any relationship - look for ways to improve, rather than be content with complacency.


22 posted on 03/11/2008 5:43:24 PM PDT by ItsOurTimeNow ("Never get involved in a land war in Asia.")
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To: longtermmemmory

Often, she is a “nag and a shrew” in the man’s eyes because she has become unchallenging to him sexually, and men are horny.

Simple as that.

If you can’t control your urges, adultery happens.


23 posted on 03/11/2008 5:44:10 PM PDT by dinoparty
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To: RushingWater
She said on Hannity that women should have sex even when they aren't in the mood sometimes when their husbands are for a couple of reasons.

For one thing, if she isn't hungry, she would still make him dinner.
For another, while watching him eat dinner, she might get hungry herself.
(Ya never know.)

24 posted on 03/11/2008 5:44:18 PM PDT by Tanniker Smith (I kid because I love . . . and I loved and now have kids.)
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To: Always Right

Why do you say that? Saying that women share some of the blame for husband who stray isn’t absolving the husbands of wrong doing, any more than saying abusive parents contribute to delinquency doesn’t absolve the delinquents from their wrong doings.

All she’s saying here is that wives are not helpless when it comes to adultery, that often they have the power and the ability to affect their husband’s actions, instead of being helpless victims, they can take certain actions that can help prevent their husbands from straying.


25 posted on 03/11/2008 5:44:32 PM PDT by Truthsearcher
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To: The_Republican

Lack of character and self-control.


26 posted on 03/11/2008 5:44:44 PM PDT by Cecily
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To: Cecily

Here’s a tip for the men

http://apnews1.iwon.com//article/20080306/D8V7UGIG0.html

Men Who Do Housework May Get More Sex
NEW YORK (AP) - American men still don’t pull their weight when it comes to housework and child care, but collectively they’re not the slackers they used to be. The average dad has gradually been getting better about picking himself up off the sofa and pitching in, according to a new report in which a psychologist suggests the payoff for doing more chores could be more sex.


27 posted on 03/11/2008 5:44:46 PM PDT by psjones (u)
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To: Cecily

Yep, if Mrs. Spitzer had stood up at that podium with Eliot’s package hanging from her hand, she’d be on the road to correcting the problem. That she “stood by her [cheating] man” was enabling and goes to Dr. Laura’s point. (Unless Silda was biding her time to really ream him to the core. You go, girl!)


28 posted on 03/11/2008 5:45:15 PM PDT by NonValueAdded (Who Would Montgomery Brewster Choose?)
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To: Cecily

I don’t think it’s fair for her to generalize like that. I’ve personally known women who were loving and faithful wives, good mothers and their husbands were cheating pigs.


29 posted on 03/11/2008 5:45:16 PM PDT by appleharvey
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To: Cecily

“It’s difficult to overstate how important sex is to men.” This was one of the key points I learned in Birds&Bees 101.

It has served me well.


30 posted on 03/11/2008 5:45:18 PM PDT by 668 - Neighbor of the Beast (Are you sick of hearing at-the-end-of-the-day?)
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To: Cecily
Maybe only a "hooker" could give him the sexual high he was obviously paying the big bucks for, Dr. Laura.

sw

31 posted on 03/11/2008 5:48:21 PM PDT by spectre (spectre's wife)
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To: Halls
sorry if I disagree there. My hubby is always willing and ready when I want it.

Did you read ALL of my post? If yes, then you have a very faithful hubby and you owe him some special favors!!
32 posted on 03/11/2008 5:48:22 PM PDT by RushingWater (Pres. Bush honors Mexican sovereignty over our own - Pardon Ramos/Campeon/Hernandez)
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To: Cecily

““When the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he’s very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs,””

May I say, Dr. Laura, you’ve full of it.


33 posted on 03/11/2008 5:48:36 PM PDT by swmobuffalo ("We didn't seek the approval of Code Pink and MoveOn.org before deciding what to do")
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To: dinoparty

I think it is far more complex.

I think the political class are now being exposed as having medival style political weddings. The clintons are married but have their respective girlfriends in order to keep power. Mcgreevy, and Spitzer seem to be in the same path.

a challenge? are we talking about video games or a wife? Do not forget how many older women were complaining about viagra because their husbands wanted sex from their wives. (oh the horror)


34 posted on 03/11/2008 5:49:32 PM PDT by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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To: Cecily

I love Dr. Laura.
I think she’s spot on.

About marital sexual relations:
I Corinthians 7
1Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry.[a] 2But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.


35 posted on 03/11/2008 5:49:44 PM PDT by Lester Moore (The headwaters of the islamic river of death and hate originate in Saudi Arabia)
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To: psjones
Men Who Do Housework May Get More Sex

Yeah right.

36 posted on 03/11/2008 5:50:09 PM PDT by SouthTexas (!)
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To: ItsOurTimeNow

People don’t like this line of discussion because they don’t want to take responsibility for how much they control the happiness of their spouse.


37 posted on 03/11/2008 5:51:09 PM PDT by stinkerpot65 (Global warming is a Marxist lie.)
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To: ItsOurTimeNow

She likes adventure with security
And more than one man can provide
She planned adventure feeling sure that he
Would not be home ‘till after five
He turned on the lights and turned them off again
And said the one thing he could say

All these years
Where have I been
Well I’ve been down the rode to work and home again
And I’m still here
Untill I’m gone
Don’t you rub it in too hard that I’ve been wrong
All these years

She said, “You’re not the man you used to be”
He said, “Neither is this guy”
She said, “There’s some things you refuse to see
But I guess sometimes so do I”
She made no excuse why she was lying there
She said the one thing she could say

All these years
What have I done
I made your supper and your daughter and your son
Still I’m here
And still confused
But I can finally see how much I stand to lose
All these years

I’m still here
And so confused
But I can finally see how much I stand to lose
All these years


38 posted on 03/11/2008 5:52:12 PM PDT by Crawdad (If you're in a fair fight, your tactics suck.)
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To: RushingWater
Spitzer is a control freak, he probably wanted sex the way he wanted it at the time and as rough or weird as he had the urge for at that moment. His wife, being his WIFE, probably went along for some kink, but not the constant ‘’moon river’’ spontaneous moment when he felt he needed to be over domineering. Spitzer has a super ego that has not been developed( kinda like bubba). I may be so wrong it hurts, but I recognize the syndrome( I have a friend........)
39 posted on 03/11/2008 5:52:57 PM PDT by shadeaud
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To: Tanniker Smith

I don’t think we can blame this all on say Mrs. Spitzer. We don’t know if she is a cold fish.

Is Cold-Fish problem so prevalent? My personal experience makes that hard for me to believe.

I don’t believe the issue here is that “Dinner” wasn’t available at home. I believe the issue is WHAT he wanted to have for “Dinner”.

Nobody goes to eat at same place everyday, not even to their most favorite place.

Today every man is bomarded with hot and kinky Sexual imagery and you don’t have to watch porn for that.

That leads to certain kind of hunger, which men are too shy to to tell to their wives. You know, certain things she might consider “unsafe” dot dot dot.

Dr. Laura and Dr. Oprah should teach women to make the MENU more exciting.

JMO. LOL!


40 posted on 03/11/2008 5:53:06 PM PDT by The_Republican (You know why Chelsea Clinton is so Ugly? Because Janet Reno is her Father! LOL! - Mac is Back!)
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To: Cecily

Watching a few episodes of COPS tends to support Dr. Laura’s theory.


41 posted on 03/11/2008 5:54:10 PM PDT by SpaceBar
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To: psjones
the payoff for doing more chores could be more sex.

I think wifes should not use their husbands sexual need as leverage to control him.

I think wifes should just meet their husbands needs without trying to make him into her gigolo.

42 posted on 03/11/2008 5:54:46 PM PDT by Lester Moore (The headwaters of the islamic river of death and hate originate in Saudi Arabia)
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To: Cecily

Wow... It’s one thing to stand up for the virtue of forgiveness it’s another completely to blame the women for the failings of their husband. (I too wonder how she feels about wives who cheat — if it’s the husband’s fault?)

In any marriage there are two sides to a problem, and the breakdown of a marriage can certainly have aspects that both partners share responsibility for. However, to blame another person for their spouse cheating, ridiculous!

The cheating spouse MADE A DECISION, a BAD decision, but it was THEIR DECISION ALONE!!! This gives the cheating spouse an “out”, a way to avoid taking responsibility for their own failures! Her ideas of who is at fault take away from the cheating spouse the necessary guilt and shame that leads them (sometimes) to true understanding of their mistake, truthfully and humbly seeking forgiveness for cheating despite what problems may be in the marriage — a necessary step if the marriage is to be saved at all! It’s about understanding the commitment to working the problems out, and not straying from the marriage in an attempt to avoid facing the problems in the first place! Without acknowledgement by the cheating spouse that their actions were their responsibility there is no hope that their behavior will change!

This is the kind of thinking that keeps women (and men) in abusive relationships! Thinking that the abuse is somehow their fault. And cheating is a form of emotional abuse, IMO.

How irresponsible for her to push this idea forth. As I said it’s one thing to acknowledge that when a spouse is cheating there are probably problems on both sides that need to be dealt with, another thing completely to blame the non-cheating spouse! UGH!


43 posted on 03/11/2008 5:54:50 PM PDT by LibertyRocks (Liberty Rocks Blog has a new home -- http://www.LibertyRocks.us)
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To: Cecily

As usual, Dr. Laura is right; no one would bat an eyelash if she reversed the sexes. There is no excuse for adultery, and there’s also no excuse for being a bad spouse.


44 posted on 03/11/2008 5:55:15 PM PDT by eclecticEel (oh well, Hunter 2012 anyone?)
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To: Cecily

I guess abused women should just stop pissing off their husbands. Who knew that the solutions to life’s complicated problems could be so easy?!


45 posted on 03/11/2008 5:55:34 PM PDT by Sols
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To: Halls
willing and ready when I want it

Not wanting to pry, but how often IS that? You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

46 posted on 03/11/2008 5:55:53 PM PDT by Right Wing Assault ("..this administration is planning a 'Right Wing Assault' on values and ideals.." - John Kerry)
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To: Cecily

Funny how Dr. Laura knows more than God. If both were to blame for adultry, there would be no provision for divorce IMO.


47 posted on 03/11/2008 5:56:14 PM PDT by Hattie
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To: psjones
Men Who Do Housework May Get More Sex

Key word here is MAY. That's quite a gamble.

48 posted on 03/11/2008 5:57:32 PM PDT by Right Wing Assault ("..this administration is planning a 'Right Wing Assault' on values and ideals.." - John Kerry)
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To: Cecily

She was on Hannity’s radio show today. She didn’t say anything I disagreed with.


49 posted on 03/11/2008 5:57:41 PM PDT by fkabuckeyesrule (I'm a happy man, I have a new battery for my remote control!!!)
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To: RushingWater

sorry, thought I did read it all, but guess I misunderstood when I read it.


50 posted on 03/11/2008 5:58:10 PM PDT by Halls (Hebrews 12:4)
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