Skip to comments.HUSBANDS, WIVES AND LOVERS (Reinhard)
Posted on 03/13/2008 9:35:45 AM PDT by jazusamo
How could he?
Oh, I get the call-girl thing, the other woman thing, in the Eliot Spitzer case. Many of our outsized political leaders are -- what's that strange and understated phrase we use in these situations today? -- "not perfect."
I'm no longer shocked or disappointed because the straying politician becomes entangled with mistresses or prostitutes or who knows what for the same reason he plunged into politics in the first place: to fill the bottomless hole in his soul. A hole that's still there after the crowd heads home, the election is won, the legislative victory is achieved, the flattering media notices read and re-read. The infidelity comes with the territory.
I even get the self-destructive, stupid behavior on gaudy display in Spitzer's call-girl capers. It's the flip side of unchecked, king-of-the-universe arrogance, which he possessed in biblical quantities. How fitting that the prostitution ring Spitzer dialed up was called the Emperors Club VIP.
And I certainly get the need for the Spitzer news conferences Monday and Wednesday after it became clear that this emperor had no clothes.
But how could the New York governor haul his wife, Silda, before the cameras to stand there, mute, while he read his statements. Not content to betray his wife of 20 years and the mother of his three teenage girls, not content to embarrass her by getting caught up in a sex-for-cash scandal, Spitzer humiliated her by using her as nothing more than a prop, a potted plant, at his little news conferences.
How could he?
Something like this must fall under New York State's spousal abuse statutes.
Having the wife up there on stage, standing by her accused man at these soap-opera news conferences is now standard and distasteful enough. Even if she's forgiven her man (Louisiana Sen. David Vitter). Even if she and hubby dispute the allegations (Idaho Sen. and Mrs. Larry Craig). Even if she thinks the charges are the product of some vast right-wing conspiracy (Hillary Clinton). But if a wife wants to stand by her man or defend him in his time of need -- no, not that time of need -- fine. If she has something to say about the charges or their marriage that might help the public sort through the real or alleged news, fair enough. They're big girls.
But there was something creepy, something raw and cruel, about Spitzer's two news conferences. His wife was present, but only as a piece of scenery in his "Eliot Ness becomes Eliot Mess" production. She stood next to him and said nothing.
Not once, but twice.
As a visual, Silda Wall Spitzer was less the picture of the devoted spouse than the shell-shocked wife on Monday. Sunken eyes, swollen face, clenched jaw. The sad, distant look. The washed out, shattered bearing.
How could he?
Nor did my own outrage dampen after reading in The New York Times that early this week she was urging her husband not to resign. I still think Eliot Spitzer was engaged in serial spousal abuse in having her on stage next to him Monday when the story first broke and (again!) Wednesday when he announced his resignation.
I suppose some might argue in Spitzer's behalf that his wife perhaps knew what was up years ago, that she and her husband had resolved his extra-marital dealings to their mutual satisfaction, and she didn't want to leave him high and dry as a result. Perhaps there was some kind of "arrangement" or "understanding." Perhaps, but Silda Spitzer certainly didn't act that way Monday.
Or, maybe she simply wanted to be there by his side to offer support. What politician wouldn't want the support of a willing wife at a time like this? Please, Spitzer should have had the decency to insist that she stay home and comfort their three daughters. As a husband and father, he should have manned up. As a former prosecutor, Spitzer should have recognized the characteristics of Stockholm syndrome -- a hostage coming to identify with her captor -- and handled these engagements on his own.
After all, Eliot Spitzer -- New York's late, great emperor -- had been more than willing to handle the engagements that got him into this mess on his own.
Just like Klinton never existed, ain’t it? OK get back to yer ass kissing now boys and girls.
how could she urge him to not resign? what is wrong with HER?
I told my ex wife when I married her that had no problem with her wanting to sleep with someone else, so long as she informed me first so I could end the marriage. I told her I would never sleep around while married to her and I didn’t. She did. BTW, I’m divorced.
Seems far fetched to me. Don’t know if it’s true, especially coming the the NYT.
She had a say in whether or not she went before the cameras. It's always terrible when one spouse cheats on the other, but the news conference wasn't done TO her. She agreed to be there.
“I’m no longer shocked or disappointed because the straying politician becomes entangled with mistresses or prostitutes or who knows what for the same reason he plunged into politics in the first place: to fill the bottomless hole in his soul.”
Author is also, I suspect no longer inclined to judge such actions. It’s symptomatic of a general decline of standards, both in ourselves and in our expectations of our representatives. We are now at the point at which we are continually asked to embrace mediocrity, both in personal character and in principled political action.
Much of the reason for that, in my opinion, lies in the legion of career politicians among us. It is yet another compelling reason to expect self-imposed term limits by our reps. Start out in the private sector, devote a limited time to public service, and return to the private world. Again and again, the ones who flop in pursuing their own craven appetites turn out to be those politicians who have been in the biz for years, going from one office to another, chasing more power and dough.
Just like the hooker, his wife is there willingly, because she knows that is how she gets paid.
Why does this keep happening? Don’t these men learn anything?
A man who stops seeking partners for reproductive activity is a man for whom nature has an early death in store. His quandry is obvious.
Not that there’s anything wrong with long term monogamy. But you should know the risks before engaging in that sort of behavior.
i think she is in the marriage for power and status... i do not believe she is in it for love... i'm not saying she has political aspirations ala Hillary... however, she has aspirations...
Not only this, but he never even mentioned HER specifically. He apologized to his 'family', but never his wife.
Good point...I’ve seen the videos several times and didn’t realize that, you’re correct.
She doesn't want to lose her access to power.
Re: Her urging him to stay.
Having been involved with many a similar story... (no, not mine), it’s not that she is some conniving woman, nor someone who accepted his cheating, like some ‘agreement’ referred to often here.
She is totally numb. At some point it’s obvious that he turned to her to explain and then perhaps asked her for her advice. Just the fact that he dragged her in front of the cameras with him... that PIG, shows what a low-life he is. How do we KNOW that she advised him X or Y? How could or should anyone accuse her of being complicit in his cheating. Or for that matter cold-blooded in his decision to resign or not? She is in total shock.
Hopefully she will end up asking for a divorce now, this is so abusive.
It’s just so cruel to accuse of her of thinking of her power when her whole life has just been pulled out from under her, and in front of the whole world at that.
I tend to agree. I'm not up on these things and don't follow them. Last night my wife and I talked about this and she mentioned another wife who recently did the same thing and then shortly after said she was numb and confused at the time and didn't know what to do. She is now writing a book about it, I believe.
i would be open to that explanation if she were not married to Eliot Spitzer... at some point, either before or sometime during their marriage, she realized what a jerk he is and accepted him... the payoff is worth it to her...
Ric Romero at 10:00 with details. I am shocked to discover the fairer sex makes compromises in the name of economic viability and having someone to change out the faucet screen is more important than being right.
/runs away as fast as I can, ducking and dodging