Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey
GUILTY!
Posted on 03/14/2008 6:47:26 AM PDT by laotzu
The famous Beltway bordello that was shut down after 13 years of impeccable service last October is now fighting back with a vengeance. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey and her lawyer claim their business was in no way different from the generally accepted liberal practices of simulating love and compassion for the downtrodden with the purpose of amassing large fortunes and obtaining power. "Shutting down a bordello in Washington, D.C. equates to the criminalization of the liberal lifestyle and politics of progressivism," says Madam's civil lawyer, stating that sex workers are being unfairly singled out from the general Beltway population of politicians, lobbyists, media celebrities, news editors, journalists, and special interest groups.
"The similarities between prostitutes and, say, politicians are as striking as they are far-reaching," opined Madam Deborah Palfrey, 50, whose expertise is based on extensive observations of the both groups. "Both prostitutes and politicians aren't allowed to kiss their customers on the lips, while at the same time, they eagerly massage other most intimate nooks and crannies. They both care about their hygiene and meretricious appearance, yet it is advisable to wash up after an encounter with any of them. They are no strangers to blackmail, deceit, cowardice, fear, loyalty to pimps, corruption, just plain crime, and pharmaceuticals that can make a man stand at attention for up to four hours. They often meet with clients in dark parking lots, and most people feel guilty and dirty afterwards. Not to mention lighter in the wallet - the opening of which just happens to be a perfect metaphor for sex."
"The leader, in both cases, is called Madam," continued Madam Palfrey. "It is no coincidence that Bush referred to Nancy Pelosi as Madam Speaker. She has a big house to maintain, with 435 'public servants' to keep on a leash. And just like my girls, I'm sure, every one of them is motivated purely by compassion towards the downtrodden, selflessly aiming to provide services to the community while emulating best European standards. I just hope that when her bitches become too much of a pain in the ass, Madam Speaker will have the wits to close the shop and move on to start a different life, before she gets herself indicted on federal racketeering charges like yours truly."
For Madam Palfrey, moving on to a different life is a challenge. She has to pay for her criminal defense, but the government has seized her bank accounts and about $1.5 million in real estate. To help pay her legal bills she is now threatening to sell a list of famous political whores, which her lawyer said investigators let slip through their fingers. The list includes up to 10,000 politicians, lobbyists, publishers, educators, union leaders, Hollywood celebrities, and other widely known figures who may or may not have been her clients, but who have gotten where they are today by doing exactly what her female escorts are being accused of. But while the girls are being investigated, the powerful people on the list remain free, get to keep their huge estates, and even run for the presidency on the Democrat ticket.
To give potential bidders a taste of what's in the package, Palfrey posted excerpts of records on her Web site, exposing such hi-end players as male prostitute John Edwards, international gigolo John Kerry, William "Cold Cash"Jefferson, Hillary "War Chest" Clinton, Arthur "Fit to Print" Sulzberger, and other political bigwigs who have been able to successfully fake love for the disadvantaged in exchange for considerable payments in cash and favors.
"Labels like 'hooker' and 'prostitute' don't do justice to the complexity of the issues and individuals involved," says Madam Palfrey. "If being a prostitute means to display caring for those who picked you from the roster of other candidates and tend to all their needs, to follow their slightest whims and desires, to act as if you like them while fighting the gag reflex, to create the illusion of bliss and harmony leading to a mutual climax and hoping that the next time they will pick you again - while at he same time both parties pretend that their relationship is based on affection and not large amounts of cash - then yes, call us prostitutes."
Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey
GUILTY!
Wow...I have seldom seen such a poignant description of the "values" liberals espouse...
You just can't make this stuff up...
What a chuckle!...and so many nuggets of real truths are littered through it. Though not in the way she means them.
The Dems need to jump on this and offer bordello vouchers.
The biggest bordello in DC is the US Capitol building.
Madame Pomfrey’s operation is very small potatoes, in comparison.
I can't. But somebody did.
Pomfrey’s = Palfrey’s
John Edwards, male prostitute -
John Kerry, international gigolo -
William “Cold Cash”Jefferson, brothel treasurer -
**SNORT!!**
If those lips could talk, what a tale they would tell....
Oh...wait...
Madam Pelosi has a big house to maintain, with 435 "public servants" to keep on a leash...
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