Posted on 05/08/2008 3:09:31 PM PDT by forkinsocket
There are children's books that explain our digestive system, and others that explore grief and jealousy. These important works help kids to understand complex truths and difficult emotions, and also pooping. But there has always been a gulf in this field of literature, a topic unexplored. No longer. Now, at long last, we finally have a book written for the confused children of mommies who abruptly come home one day with huge fake boobs. My Beautiful Mommy, written by a Florida plastic surgeon who fancies himself a leading expert in breast implants (closest known rival: Charlie Sheen), chronicles the inspiring journey of a thirtysomething woman who finds time between her nose job, her tummy tuck and her breast augmentation to gently explain to her young daughter that Mommy is doing all this because — insert heartwarming "aaaaaaww!" — Mommy simply wants to look super pretty. Aimed at children aged 4 to 7, My Beautiful Mommy features frank discussions in which the mother reveals the reasons behind her pursuit of surgical remedy: "You see, as I got older, my body stretched and I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore." Naturally, the book has a happy ending in which Mommy returns home safe and "even more" beautiful than before. What a triumph! Mommy is just like the Ugly Ducking, but hotter and with a thong. According to Newsweek, Dr. Michael Salzhauer got the idea for his book after noticing that some women were coming to his office for consultations with their kids in tow. He told the magazine that such visits can be frightening for children. You know what also can be frightening for children, doc? Looking up one morning and, instead of Mommy's reassuring face, seeing only acres of bosom.
(Excerpt) Read more at macleans.ca ...
I’m going to be afraid to check this thread later on tonight.
Got milk?
TTIWWOP
Radio host Adam Carolla was joking about this the other day - he’s going to write more in the same vein: “Daddy’s New Trophy Wife” and “Why Doesn’t Mommy Get Out of Bed On Sundays?”
The idea of a woman somehow becoming more desireable because she has a couple of big bags of saline or gel plopped inside her breast tissue just doesn’t compute.
Darling! How wonderful! You now look so Barbie and acceptable with your plastic sacks filled with gel!
Thanks! LOL
Anyone remember Joe Walsh’s great hit? I L B Ts
In reference to the picture on post 8: should not the line be “your both hired”?
Yep, you got that right, I like them natural. Small or large if they are the real deal they are great. Fake ones turn me off so quick!
Oops. “You are both hired”.
It’s a good thing it’s not the style for men to have giant jewels! I guess except for the San Fran scrotal inflation guys!
http://www.zombietime.com/hall_of_shame/
There are a lot of dysfunctional families, alcoholics, moms who wear a bathrobe all day, no one cleans the house. dad beats mom. Why is this more noteworthy?
LOL! I live in Florida, where Mommy and Daddy usually give their daughter, the Happy Grad, a boob job as a high school graduation present. I used to live near UF (University of Florida), and thanks to the wonders of modern surgery, all the girls had identical noses and identical - er, upper bodies.
Uh...point of order.
We call them 'headlights', 'funbags' or 'cans'.
Gotta get the nomenclature correct there.
Related article from yesterday:
Woman Tries to Break Breast Implant Records
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2012582/posts
Yuck, no thanks. I like mine without silicone.
Or ‘the girls’, ‘the twins’, ‘the playground’.....
Now, what in the world, is she going to do with them?
Well she does not need air bags with those but if they get stuck by a pin will she be sent into orbit.......
the BOOB FAIRY brought them!!!
tooo damn funny...
it just occured to me, in the not too distant future when I have to head to the retirement home, all the old babes there will have nice, firm..............yup!
I don't know if that's something I really want to think about.....LOL!
a 70 year old double d could be scary...
I agree. If a woman wants to mutilitate her body to become more attractive, lip plates should be her first choice.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.