Posted on 05/12/2008 7:14:24 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
DC Comics has just announced that it's sending its characters into the most terrifying parallel universe yet: the American political system. At a comic-con last week, the publisher's executive editor talked about its upcoming "DC Decisions" series, in which members of the DC universe will declare their partisan affiliations. "Everyone’s talking politics; it’s an elections year, and we’re going to try to see how the characters of our universe react to that," he said, which I think means that his writers have completely run out of material. So now that superheroes are going to start meddling in domestic politics, which way will they swing politically? A few guesses at some of the exciting partisan plot twists to come, after the jump.
Possible political revelations in "DC Decisions":
Superman: Illegal immigrant, journalist Plot twist: Uses super-duperdelegate powers to reverse time and rig the delegate-counting at the Democratic convention.
Batman: Aging, super-wealthy crime fighter Plot twist: Liked Giuliani, but now can't decide between McCain and former president Luthor.
Robin: "Ward" of aging, super-wealthy crime fighter Plot twist: Embarrassed when alternate-universe Obama is forced to declare that "Earth-Two Dick Grayson does not speak for me."
Wonder Woman: Broke the glass ceiling in her invisible jet. Plot twist: Once used her bracelets to deflect Bosnian sniper fire during a top-secret mission.
Plastic Man: Extremely flexible, perfect hair Plot twist: This early Mitt Romney backer may sit this one out.
Green Lantern: Cool ring gives him godlike powers Plot twist: Attacked on cable news after he says American flag lapel pins leave unsightly holes in his unitard.
Aquaman: Hangs out with fishes, probably suffering from mercury poisoning. Plot twist: Sending telepathic signals to get Al Gore to run.
Supergirl: Superman's cousin and occasional jailbait. Plot Twist: Retreats to the Fortress of Solitude after her "I've Got a Crush on Kucinich" video is leaked.
Rorschach: Creepy objectivist loner Plot twist: Being wooed by Ron Paul as a possible running mate.
All Paulite and DC fanboy hate mail in the comments, thanks!
Besides—Batman is a successful business man. Batman is a Conservative.
Now Lex Luthor is a Republican cut from the Nixon cloth. He would make a great running mate for McCain.
I think Clark Kent is a Democrat but Superman is an independent.
"Final question - How many people have rented from Netflix?"
I guess Robin would be a RINO sort of like Lincoln Chaffey?
Maybe Aunt Harriet was having the relationship with Alfred...just a thought.
Green Lantern would obviously be a member of . . . the Green Party.
Let's talk about a real hero:
- orphan; raised by aunt and uncle;
- inner-city urban catholic (witness crucifixes in Aunt May's bedroom;)
- despises mainstream media bosses for distorting photographic evidence a la Reuters/Al Jazeera;
- works several jobs;
- primary nemesis is Soviet-haircut-sporting evil professsor (Doctor Octopus was probably a lefty academic who would have signed on with the Duke 88.)
You just KNOW Spiderman is a conservative.
I don’t know what party the Flash is, but he’s always running.
Shazam!
The Flash is being Swift-booted.
.
Shaken
Not Stirred....
Ouch! I'm shielding my eyes!
If Doctor Octopus has tenure, you know he is a liberal. I am surprised no one has mentioned the real American hero G.I. Joe.
True, but the real measure of a woman is the Dyan Cannon factor:
Is she still hot after 55? Not so sure about Lynda Carter. But Jaclyn Smith and Cheryl Ladd...
Smokin'!
Lol, I knew injecting 007 into ‘super heros’ would get a response.
Somehow that doesn’t sound quite right!!
There have been several serious accidents on the latest Blond Bond set.
So are Bill Gates, Ben & Jerry and Dodi Fayed's father.
Book, Cover, all that...
This is the worst idea DC has had in a long, long time.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.