Man survives head first leap into wood chipper(MN)

pioneer press ^ | 5-16-08 | Associated Press

[WOBBLY BOB]

Police say a man was severely injured when he threw himself into a wood chipper Thursday in Roseville.

Crews were clearing trees in a public area this afternoon when the man appeared and jumped head first into the wood chipper. Workers turned off the machine and called 911, and the man was rushed to Regions Hospital in St. Paul with injuries to his head and torso.

Police are calling it a suicide attempt and say the man is between 19- to 21-years-old.

[WOBBLY BOB]

Life has often times sucked, but I never thought about this.

Happy Friday

[668 - Neighbor of the Beast]

Hold muh beer. Possibly the ultimate.

[668 - Neighbor of the Beast]

Oh jeez...suicide attempt?? How depressing. He must feel like a complete failure.

[Tijeras_Slim]

His therapist told him he needed to be more chipper.

[LIConFem]

I confess to having had some dark times as well, when thoughts of checking out started flitting among the cobwebs betwix’t my ears. But tossing myself into a wood chipper would NEVER have crossed my mind! Knowing me, I probably would have tried ODing on Altoids...

[MplsSteve]

WELCOME TO FREE REPUBLIC’S MINNESOTA PING LIST!

94 MEMBERS AND GROWING...!

FREEPMAIL ME IF YOU WANT ON OR OFF THIS LIST!

[ozark hilljilly]

Bet his favorite movie was “Fargo”.

[maggief]

A chip off the old block?!

[LZ_Bayonet]

I’ll bet he isn’t feeling too chipper....uh, then again, he is, actually.

[martin_fierro]

LOLCAT vs. Wood Chipper

Who would win?

VOTE NAOW!

[commonguymd]

There are better ways to off yourself I would presume.

[caver]

Was his name Chip?

[period end of story]

His name couldn’t have been Steve Buscemi.

[WildcatClan]

Poor guy. Things have to be really bad to jump into a wood chipper. I just can’t wrap my mind around someone choosing that as a method to off themselves. I suspect some serious drugs are involved here as well.

[J40000]

If he thought he was down in the dumps before, just wait til he recovers to find he’s now a mutilated AND depressed human being...

poor dumb guy..

[Pusterfuss]

He had a lot of guts.

[LIConFem]

“Had” being the operative word.

[ConservaTexan]

...the man is between 19- to 21-years-old.

What? They couldn't get an accurate ring count?

[YourAdHere]

Between 19 and 21. So he’s 20?

[Ezekiel]

I don’t have a shred of evidence, but I’d say he didn’t accomplish mulch.

[rockinqsranch]

I can see it now...Some Leftist Government asshat will blame the chipping machines’ manufacturer for not building in safety cages around the feed orifice for suicide prevention, and probably win a court case.

I say this with all cynicerity.

[Sax]

[Tijeras_Slim]

He’s luck not to lose a limb.

[Gorzaloon]

...the man is between 19- to 21-years-old.

What? They couldn't get an accurate ring count?

...I tried not to laugh...

[668 - Neighbor of the Beast]

Things have to be really bad to jump into a wood chipper.

What, you've never had poison ivy rash on your head?

[Mark was here]

It was not right to subject the work crew to his antics.

Proper etiquette demands he commits suicide privately.

Don't they teach manners anymore?

[andy58-in-nh]

Word on the street is that he was a member of a splinter group. Branch Davidians, I think.

[Joe 6-pack]

I’ll bet his aftershave really stung for the next few days!

[Sax]

"Dude! That was, like, the stooopidest thing I've ever seen!"

"yeah. I know."

[maggief]

[Samwise]

Death by a thousand cuts?

[668 - Neighbor of the Beast]

Was his name Chip?

Now he's Chip with the buzz cut and the intensely conversational scars. Could probably win a one-upmanship contest against Chuck Norris. I pity the straitjacket that gets him.

[Ezekiel]

the man appeared and jumped head first into the wood chipper.

He wanted to make sure he was logged in.

[668 - Neighbor of the Beast]

Logged. ROFL!

[Bobalu]

God Amitey!
This guy is REALLY nuts.....

[CDHart]

"Word on the street is that he was a member of a splinter group. Branch Davidians, I think."

Not funny.

Carolyn

[woofie]

Was he logged on?

[668 - Neighbor of the Beast]

There are better ways to off yourself I would presume.

He's convinced me.

[reagan_fanatic]

LOL - stop it, you guys are killing me!!

[PaForBush]

Actually - wildly funny!

[andy58-in-nh]

Sorry - I didn’ t know you were a member.

[Moose4]

SOOICIDE: UR DOIN IT WRONG

}:-)4

[Dysart]

Heard he wanted to save face but I guess this was the last straw.

[Proud2BeRight]

Life can grind on you.

[668 - Neighbor of the Beast]

Was his name Chip?

Sloppy Joe?

[Proud2BeRight]

Hey dude. Hold my beer and watch this.

[Siberian-psycho]

[Tijeras_Slim]

We need to discover the root cause for his problems and nip it in the bud... I hope this near brush causes him to turn over a new leaf.

[BBell]

[woollyone]

Yeah but at least he got a little head out of the deal.