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Sheep flatulence inoculation developed
Telegraph ^ | 6/5/08 | Peter Allen in Paris

Posted on 06/05/2008 8:06:31 AM PDT by Keli Kilohana

New Zealand scientists claim to have developed a "flatulence inoculation" aimed at cutting down on the massive amount of methane produced by its sheep and cows.

Such animals are believed to be responsible for more than half of the country's greenhouse gases, causing huge environmental problems.

But Phil Goff, New Zealand's trade minister, told an Organisation for Economic Co-Operation and Development (OECD) in Paris yesterday that a solution was in sight.

"Our agricultural research organisation just last week was able to map the genome ... that causes methane in ruminant animals and we believe we can vaccinate against" flatulent emissions, Mr Goff said.

(Excerpt) Read more at telegraph.co.uk ...


TOPICS: Australia/New Zealand; Extended News; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: agw; cows; fart; flatulence; freepun; globalwarming; methane; pullmyfinger
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Inoculate?? Why not used the patented Hagedorn "Flammable Air Retaining Tent" (c) to gather all of this free methane? The pyramidal tent fits over the cow (there are models for sheep, as well) and there is a sealed portal to allow the cow's head to stick out the side. The bottom is open to allow for perambulation. Gases could be collected on a regular basis with a collection truck--or each cow could have a vacuum line attached to the top of their FART tent to constantly gather the goldmine of gas. Collected gases could then be used to fire steam electric generators!
1 posted on 06/05/2008 8:06:32 AM PDT by Keli Kilohana
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To: Keli Kilohana

Leave it to human ingenuity to save mankind.

Good grief.....


2 posted on 06/05/2008 8:08:52 AM PDT by EEDUDE
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To: Keli Kilohana; Allegra; ErnBatavia

I’m really hoping this can spread to the human population...


3 posted on 06/05/2008 8:09:18 AM PDT by wazoo1031
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To: Keli Kilohana

Inoculate? Against something a mammalian body is supposed to do?


4 posted on 06/05/2008 8:10:26 AM PDT by Psycho_Bunny
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To: Keli Kilohana

When you honestly start claiming that sheep—which have been raised by humanity for time immemorium—are causing the earth to heat and somehow responsible for destroying life as we know it...

...you’d think you’d realize you were absolute full of it and barking up the wrong tree. But such is the mindless push of the global warming lemmings.


5 posted on 06/05/2008 8:11:08 AM PDT by CaspersGh0sts
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To: Keli Kilohana
Baa, baa, black sheep, have you any gas?
Yes, sir, yes, sir, right in my <DELETED>
6 posted on 06/05/2008 8:11:51 AM PDT by thulldud (Congress does not want answers. They want scapegoats. (andy58-in-nh))
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To: Keli Kilohana

What happens to an animal that can’t fart? I hate to think. Not a pretty picture.

Quick, somebody alert PETA to this madness.


7 posted on 06/05/2008 8:12:26 AM PDT by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: Keli Kilohana

Why not ‘capture’ all that gas and become energy independent?


8 posted on 06/05/2008 8:12:26 AM PDT by AU72
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To: Keli Kilohana; Owl_Eagle; Sam's Army; Lazamataz; Darksheare; pissant; najida; r-q-tek86; blackie; ..
OK, this may be a first...

Animal Flatulence, PING!!

9 posted on 06/05/2008 8:14:09 AM PDT by Jersey Republican Biker Chick (Some days it is not worth chewing through the restraints.)
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To: CaspersGh0sts

I wonder how damaging those giant buffalo herds were in the past!
It’s amazing anyone survived!


10 posted on 06/05/2008 8:14:43 AM PDT by The Toll
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To: The Toll
"...huge environmental problems."
Name one.
11 posted on 06/05/2008 8:16:06 AM PDT by Eric in the Ozarks
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To: Keli Kilohana

A sure candidate for the Nobel prize.


12 posted on 06/05/2008 8:17:28 AM PDT by I-ambush
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To: AU72

“Why not ‘capture’ all that gas and become energy independent?”

The most abundant known reserve of flatulence on the planet resides in Tennessee and his name is Al Gore...so I suggest they ‘capture’ that gas in a bag first and

“LEAVE THE SHEEP ALONE”

LOL


13 posted on 06/05/2008 8:17:47 AM PDT by penelopesire ("The only CHANGE you will get with the Democrats is the CHANGE left in your pocket")
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To: Keli Kilohana
Such animals are believed to be responsible for more than half of the country's greenhouse gases, causing huge environmental problems.

New Zealand just may be the most beautiful natural place in the world. That said, what are these "huge environmental problems" that the sheep are causing there? Where are they? What parts of NZ?

What balderdash!

14 posted on 06/05/2008 8:20:26 AM PDT by Flycatcher (Strong copy for a strong America)
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To: Keli Kilohana

The easiest job in the world today has be one of Jay Leno’s joke writers. Just open a paper and copy down a few headlines.


15 posted on 06/05/2008 8:22:03 AM PDT by AU72
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To: wazoo1031

Muzzy terrorist already have a way of plugging the hole :)


16 posted on 06/05/2008 8:22:59 AM PDT by Resolute Conservative
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To: Keli Kilohana

17 posted on 06/05/2008 8:24:02 AM PDT by LIConFem (Thompson. Lifetime ACU Rating: 86 -- Hunter Lifetime ACU Rating: 92 (any combo will do, fellas))
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To: AU72

This is excerpted from The Broker, http://thebrokeronline.eu/en/articles/driving_on_organic_waste

“While biogas – methane – can be used as fuel for cars (see box Bioethanol, biodiesel and biogas) it is generally used to generate electricity. In the Netherlands, some farmers already ferment animal dung and use the methane released in the process to heat their cattle sheds. Orgaworld, a company in Lelystad, is using biogas from organic waste to generate ‘green’ electricity, and composts the fermented residue.5 In Nepal, the Biogas Sector Partnership, an NGO, is promoting the use of this process. Over 150,000 Nepalese households now have a biogas plant – an airtight container that can digest half a cubic metre of buffalo dung. The methane released is used for cooking and in gas lamps, and the residue is returned to the fields”


18 posted on 06/05/2008 8:24:35 AM PDT by popdonnelly (Does Obama know ANYONE who likes America, capitalism, or white people?)
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To: Keli Kilohana

Now we know what propulsion system Harold was going to use!

*** From the first Monty Python’s Flying Circus episode ever!!! ***

Flying Sheep

(A tourist approaches a shepherd. The sounds of sheep and the outdoors are heard.)

Tourist: Good afternoon.
Shephrd: Eh, ‘tis that.
Tourist: You here on holiday?
Shephrd: Nope, I live ‘ere.
Tourist: Oh, good for you. Uh...those ARE sheep aren’t they?
Shephrd: Yeh.
Tourist: Hmm, thought they were. Only, what are they doing up in the trees?
Shephrd: A fair question and one that in recent weeks ‘as been much on my mind. It’s my considered opinion that they’re nestin’.
Tourist: Nesting?
Shephrd: Aye.
Tourist: Like birds?
Shephrd: Exactly. It’s my belief that these sheep are laborin’ under the misapprehension that they’re birds. Observe their be’avior. Take for a start the sheeps’ tendency to ‘op about the field on their ‘ind legs. Now witness their attempts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as...plummet.
Tourist: Yes, but why do they think they’re birds?
Shephrd: Another fair question. One thing is for sure, the sheep is not a creature of the air. They have enormous difficulty in the comparatively simple act of perchin’.
Trouble is, sheep are very dim. Once they get an idea in their ‘eads, there’s no shiftin’ it.
Tourist: But where did they get the idea?
Shephrd: From Harold. He’s that most dangerous of creatures, a clever sheep. ‘e’s realized that a sheep’s life consists of standin’ around for a few months and then bein’ eaten. And that’s a depressing prospect for an ambitious sheep.
Tourist: Well why don’t just remove Harold?
Shephrd: Because of the enormous commercial possibilities if ‘e succeeds.


19 posted on 06/05/2008 8:25:16 AM PDT by ScreamingGreenAlienGorilla (The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left. Ecc. 10:2)
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To: Eric in the Ozarks

......Name one......

How about beer?

Beer drinkers should be required each year to purchase carbon credits to offset the atmospheric carbonation from each and every beer they drink.

To expand this thought, think carbonated beverages. Carbon is the root descriptive. Each and every Coke or Pepsi or Dew emits a substantial amount of atmospheric carbon. Some is direct as fizz and some is emitted as burps or belches. Every consumer of carbonated soft drinks must be required to purchase an annual carbon credit for the amount of estimated consumption. Any unused credits can be carried over or redemmed at the end of the year.

The severe magnitude of the carbon based beverage fizz has escaped notice but in the interest of fairness and carboniferous diversity, must be addressed. McCain being tied closely to the beer industry can be excused from his opposition, but there must be a pronouncement from Obama on his position on beer carbon emissions.


20 posted on 06/05/2008 8:26:23 AM PDT by bert (K.E. N.P. +12 . The Bitcons will elect a Democrat by default)
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Comment #21 Removed by Moderator

To: Allegra; wazoo1031

Pffffft ping...I’m ready to read about another of Waz’s “adventures”...


22 posted on 06/05/2008 8:30:02 AM PDT by ErnBatavia (...forward this to your 10 very best friends....)
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To: Keli Kilohana

The four sides of the pyramid could be reflective; thus, reflecting harmful solar rays back into space—preventing Global Warming. Or, photo voltaic membranes could be placed on the pyramid—storing enough energy in a self-contained battery to operate the milking machine. Or, the space on the side of the pyramids could be sold for advertising space—or “green” messages. All designed to save our planet and to rescue drowning polar bears. (NOTE: Please contribute to the Polar Bear Life Preserver Fund.)


23 posted on 06/05/2008 8:30:17 AM PDT by Keli Kilohana (Editor, ZARR CHASM CHRONICAL [sic], Sore, WV)
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To: Keli Kilohana; Grammy

LOL. I just sent this to my very industrious nephew.

I told him now is the time for him to invent the same technology for humans, and how our family alone could heat an entire continent.


24 posted on 06/05/2008 8:31:50 AM PDT by girlangler (Fish Fear Me)
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To: girlangler

Bean farmer?


25 posted on 06/05/2008 8:33:47 AM PDT by Keli Kilohana (Editor, ZARR CHASM CHRONICAL [sic], Sore, WV)
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To: The Toll; ErnBatavia; Allegra

What about dinosaur farts 65 million+ years ago? Just one brontosauras would’ve blown off tree tops...


26 posted on 06/05/2008 8:34:19 AM PDT by wazoo1031
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To: wazoo1031; ErnBatavia; The Toll
What about dinosaur farts 65 million+ years ago? Just one brontosauras would’ve blown off tree tops...

Global warming!

27 posted on 06/05/2008 8:35:35 AM PDT by Allegra (If you lived here, you'd be home by now.)
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To: girlangler

There is the Hagedorn patented soda CO2 capture device—the Capture-Recycle Air Piece 9c). It is used to capture belched and farted CO2. It is simply a nipple-shaped thingy that one belches into after having enjoyed a carbonated drink. After belching the bottle full, one simply removes the CRAP, screws the cap back on tightly, throws it in the trash to be buried intact in a landfill for hundreds of years. This device can be used for collection of CO2 flatus by the obvious method. If one plans to use CRAP orally and then rectally, please remember the suggested order: O then R.


28 posted on 06/05/2008 8:41:27 AM PDT by Keli Kilohana (Editor, ZARR CHASM CHRONICAL [sic], Sore, WV)
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To: wazoo1031

I nominate my wife as the first to be used for human testing!


29 posted on 06/05/2008 8:43:15 AM PDT by compman (left handed people are the only ones in their right mind!)
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To: Keli Kilohana
William Frederick (”Buffalo Bill”) Cody killed 4,280 buffalo in eighteen months (1867-68).

He was truly a man before his time. Cody and other Buffalo hunters recognized the threat that millions upon millions of Buffalo roaming the vast Wild West posed to the environment. Cody after killing one of the last remaining Buffalo said, "I can ride the Plains and breath methane free air now! I can see the mountains yonder and they are no longer purple majesties."

30 posted on 06/05/2008 8:43:38 AM PDT by Red_Devil 232 (VietVet - USMC All Ready On The Right? All Ready On The Left? All Ready On The Firing Line!)
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To: Keli Kilohana; Grammy

We have been known to consume large quantities of them.

My grandfather had the great distinction decades ago of being the “World’s Largest Supplier of Natural Gas.”

Seriously, grandpa’s kids went to Gatlinburg (a tourist town near here) and bought him one of those phoney newspapers with the 80 pt type headlines that stated that!!!! It was funny!!!


31 posted on 06/05/2008 8:47:26 AM PDT by girlangler (Fish Fear Me)
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To: Allegra
"What about dinosaur farts 65 million+ years ago? Just one brontosauras would’ve blown off tree tops..." Global warming!

Just wait. They're going to adjust NISS database temperatures from the Jurassic, discover what the temperature should have been without the gases released by gigantic plant- (and bean-) eating monsters, and solve the age-old question. Dinosaurs were exterminated by global warming, which was triggered by eating beans without the added protection of Al Gore's scientific genius and the new improved Gas-X innoculation.

32 posted on 06/05/2008 8:47:40 AM PDT by RogerD (public school teacher - with reasoning like this, maybe I should teach science)
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To: girlangler

If he could do the old “pull my finger” routine, with such obvious control of his wellhead, he could have been tapped for industrial use! Think of the polar bears he could have saved!


33 posted on 06/05/2008 8:49:59 AM PDT by Keli Kilohana (Editor, ZARR CHASM CHRONICAL [sic], Sore, WV)
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Comment #34 Removed by Moderator

To: Keli Kilohana

Inmates running the asylum ...


35 posted on 06/05/2008 8:57:53 AM PDT by stinkerpot65 (Global warming is a Marxist lie.)
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To: Keli Kilohana

The slippery slope of flatulence. They will have to pry the Taco Bell Chalupa from my cold dead hands..


36 posted on 06/05/2008 8:58:01 AM PDT by IamConservative (Character: What you do when no one is looking.)
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To: IamConservative

This whole thing stinks!!


37 posted on 06/05/2008 9:01:09 AM PDT by Dr. I. C. Spots
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To: Keli Kilohana
Messing with your DNA because of something that does not exist?!?

Coming to a GOP near you!

 

38 posted on 06/05/2008 9:03:30 AM PDT by JoJo Gunn (Help control the girly-man population. Have the McCainiacs spayed or neutered.)
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To: Keli Kilohana

The Beano-Innoculaton works great, but the side effect is that the sheep’s urine is now 87-octane gasoline.


39 posted on 06/05/2008 9:05:50 AM PDT by SERKIT ("Blazing Saddles" explains it all.....)
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To: LIConFem
Use of this device in sheep results in an explosive cheer: SISS-BOOM-BAH!
40 posted on 06/05/2008 9:13:43 AM PDT by Keli Kilohana (Editor, ZARR CHASM CHRONICAL [sic], Sore, WV)
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To: Morgana

Like in “Land of the Lost”, right? That was such an awsomelly realistic show back in the 70’s Saturday mornings...who was the hairy little fella helper on that show? He wasn’t a slee-stack, he was called something like Chakka, if my ancient memory serves me right...bet he farted alot!


41 posted on 06/05/2008 9:39:25 AM PDT by wazoo1031
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To: ScreamingGreenAlienGorilla
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

42 posted on 06/05/2008 9:45:04 AM PDT by WOBBLY BOB (Conservatives are to McCain what Charlie Brown is to Lucy.)
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To: wazoo1031

not as good as “Bigfoot and Wildboy”.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NNb1pgQlQo


43 posted on 06/05/2008 9:57:05 AM PDT by WOBBLY BOB (Conservatives are to McCain what Charlie Brown is to Lucy.)
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To: Keli Kilohana

I bet that any vaccine that causes the sheep to kill off the methane-producing bacteria in their guts will lead to huge outbreaks of sheep constipation. Invest NOW in sheep laxitives!


44 posted on 06/05/2008 10:08:24 AM PDT by VanShuyten ("Ah! but it was something to have at least a choice of nightmares.")
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To: WOBBLY BOB

You’re AWESOME!!


45 posted on 06/05/2008 10:33:14 AM PDT by wazoo1031
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To: Keli Kilohana; CygnusXI; Fiddlstix; Timeout; Entrepreneur; Defendingliberty; WL-law; ...
Asinine.

 



Calculate your one-day Carbon Belch !

46 posted on 06/05/2008 4:50:20 PM PDT by steelyourfaith
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To: wazoo1031

There was chaka, ta, and sa!!


47 posted on 06/05/2008 7:34:26 PM PDT by dsrtsage (John Galt, Dagney Taggart..2008)
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To: SunkenCiv; xcamel; DieHard the Hunter

48 posted on 06/06/2008 7:47:52 AM PDT by george76 (Ward Churchill : Fake Indian, Fake Scholarship, and Fake Art)
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To: Keli Kilohana
Took the words right out of my mouth. Someone needs to post a picture of Johnny Carson as Carnack the Magnificent.

I remember that bit on the Tonight Show —one of the best ever —and it cracked Carson and McMahon up so bad they couldn't speak without laughing for a good 10 minutes.

49 posted on 06/06/2008 7:50:55 AM PDT by duckbutt (Those who pay no taxes have no check on their appetite for services.)
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To: Morgana

Only 1 out of a 100 here will get that. It’s a horrible affliction on a beer budget.


50 posted on 06/06/2008 9:23:35 AM PDT by Rebelbase (McCain: The Third Bush Term ?)
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