Skip to comments.What causes a woman to seek out sex with teens?
Posted on 06/16/2008 6:07:40 PM PDT by Clint Williams
What makes a grown woman pursue a guy who gets carded at R-rated movies, lives with his parents who give him an allowance and, who if your actions are revealed, would ruin your reputation and possibly land you in jail?
Theories abound. Some might surprise you.
Like how mentally, they are about the same age.
Sexual abuse involving older women and teen boys is an underreported crime, one that experts say has been largely ignored by the public, legal system and academic researchers for reasons including sexual double standards and evidence suggesting teen boys often are willing participants.
But that attitude is changing.
Prosecutions of women for sex abuse have risen nationwide in the past several years, law enforcement experts say. Locally, last week two women from Bucks County were charged with sexual crimes involving teenage boys.
Angela Marie Honeycutt, 38, and Lynne Long, 45, both of Lower Makefield, were charged Wednesday in connection with alleged indecent acts that took place during a teen boy sleepover in April.
Honeycutt was charged with statutory sexual assault, a second-degree felony, and several lesser felonies and misdemeanors. She is charged with engaging in sex acts with two boys, ages 14 and 15. Sleepover host Long was charged with endangering the welfare of children and corruption of minors.
In the past decade, high-profile arrests involving inappropriate and illegal sexual contact between women and boys have captivated the nation.
Among the most infamous cases, both involving middle school teachers, were Debra LaFave, 23, who had sex with a 14-year-old student, and Mary Kay LeTourneau, 34, who began a sexual relationship with her 13-year-old student, later gave birth to two of his children, served jail time for abusing him and then married him in 2005.
An estimated 1,500 women are in prison for sexual abuse of children. The National Center for Juvenile Justice 2005 report on statutory rape found that 5 percent of victims were boys and adult women were overwhelmingly the abusers.
The report also found among children ages 7 to 11 and 15 to 17, boy victims outnumbered girls. On average, female molesters were nine years older than their male victims, compared with a six-year age gap between male offenders and teen girl victims.
Other research agencies like Child Trends in Washington, D.C., are starting to collect data that also suggest sexual relationships between teen boys and older women are more common than many believe.
A 2005 Child Trends research brief on the subject revealed that one in four males surveyed reported his first sexual experiences were with a woman usually a few years older.
Of more than 2,000 males, ages 15 to 24, asked, though, half who had a first sexual experience with an older woman reported an age gap of five years or more.
The abuse connection
Child molesters share some common features regardless of gender, according to the Center for Sex Offender Management in Maryland. Many show evidence of poor coping skills, relationship difficulties, cognitive distortions and an inability to empathize with victims.
But the center also noted some key differences between men and women offenders.
Among them sexual victimization histories are far more common among female sex offenders than men, and their abuse experiences are often more longstanding, extensive and severe. Adult women also are more likely than men to commit sex offenses with a willing participant.
The largest study so far involving female sex offenders found the sexual abuse connection, according to its author, Susan Strickland, a University of Georgia professor and social worker who treats sex offenders.
For her research, Strickland surveyed 130 female prisoners, including 60 serving time for sexual offenses.
She found that women who have sex with boys lack the mature relationship skills to partner with men their age. They are also motivated by a need for power and control, and they see the boy as a blank slate they can turn into the partner they want.
Women sex offenders may never have had a relationship in which they felt safe, Strickland added.
Women who seek sex with underage boys are also more likely than men to focus on one person and to profess love and loyalty and a sense of a particular and profound bond, psychologists say.
Philadelphia author Alan Soble has written books about sex and love. He believes it's difficult to generalize what motivates an older woman to seduce a teen boy, but that their reasons are probably not much different than a man's.
âIs there any reason to think the motives are different? Then you have to go with the standard story, but with the genders reversed,â said Soble, a philosophy professor at Penn State University's Abington campus.
Emotions are part of why he believes women pursue teen boys.
âIt's not simply why would they do it, but why do it knowing they'll be ostracized if they get caught, they are in trouble, and will get more attention than a man would get?â he said. âIt's the power the emotions have to kill our rationality, and women seem to be as susceptible as men to having their rationality undermined by their emotions and passions.â
What also remains unclear is the long-term impact on teen boys.
What evidence is available â gathered through male prisoners and men in addiction treatment â is the experience disrupts normal adolescent psychological development, Strickland said.
A teen's immature brain cannot process the adult behavior they are engaging in, and, as a result, it skews social and sexual outlook, distorts thinking and hinders the ability to relate to a partner their own age, she explained.
Most teen boys involved in sexual relationships with older women don't feel they've been violated, a belief that Strickland says is rooted in society stereotypes, while girls in the same relationships are sent the message they've been taken advantage of, boys are congratulated and admired.
FEMALE SEX OFFENDERS
Source: Center for Sex Offender ManagementJo Ciavaglia can be reached at 215 949-4181 or email@example.com.
Been that kinda Monday!
True story: Once upon a time (back in the 80s), my then-girlfriend shared a house with a divorced woman and her two kids (aged 11 and 7). The woman had been a teacher’s aid and had started an affair with one of her 16 year old students. Her husband found out and divorced her, but (somehow) she got custody of the kids.
By the time I met her, the “kid” was now 20 and she was ~35 and they were still seeing each other. The “kid” confided in me that he was just using her for sex would only hand out with her for anther year or so. He had no intention of marrying her. So, the “kid” just basically looked a her as a trophy he would soon ditch—nothing more. He certainly didn’t respect or love her.
Of course, the woman actualy thought that he was going to propose any day now. It was a really sad and pathetic situation. I especially felt bad for her kids. You could see the shame in their eyes, especially her 11 year old son—who was old enough to know what was going on with mom. I’m sure that boy carries around some serious baggage as a grown-up. My impression was that the woman couldn’t face middle age and this was her way of trying to hang on too her youth. She was also financially irresponsible and would often not pay her share of the rent, but she still found $$ to buy the “kid” liquor and cigarettes.
Whatever happened to “The Summer of ‘42?”
I’m with you mama. I raised a boy and all his buddies were over all the time - great kids and a couple were very handsome young men, but I never was attracted to them even in the least....
So true, but I’m sure a certain percentage of these ladies probably are bipolar or have some other psychosocial issues. No doubt.
When the depraved becomes the norm, what's deparved anymore? -- Sunday Times Of London, Aug 1994
Very well put. Your post should be required reading for all hot young school teachers.
All of them should abide by the principles illustrated in your post. Those who cannot abide by these principles, should see me after school.
In the meantime, we in this country have grown obsessed, not so much with sex, although that too, but with no sex, with sex as a mortal sin. Every American male is now considered either a sex offender or a potential sex offender, or an unconvicted sex offender, don't even start denying it, and if you work at a sizeable company check out its sexual harassment regulations, check with the men who have been accused and (automatically) convicted of sexual harassment, if they still work there that is. OR just check the threads here of the anti-sex obsessives. <>
P.S. Flame me, Church Ladies, flame me (Church Ladies in drag too!) I don’t respond to flames.
Oh, goody, more blather based on the absurd notion that sexually mature human beings are children.
Punish the ‘bad teachers’ administratively for abuse of authority.
Age of consent should be 16, with Romeo and Juliette exceptions for participants close in age down to 14 (or maybe 13).
Probably every FReeper has grandparents, great-grandparents, or at least great-great-grandparent who were married at 16 or younger. Heck, Alexander the Great was leading his dad’s cavalry into battle at 15.
The notion that the law can make someone a child when biology says the opposite is the root of the problem.
Gee, cynical aren’t we? Think whatever you want, but it happens to be true.
Levels of maturity differ. It’s not one size fits all.
As a society, we have decided on 18 for adulthood.
You can’t drink before then (in some states you wait till 21). No contract you sign is legal. You can’t join the military on your own. You can’t take out a loan or own a credit card. You can’t vote. You can’t be held responsible for a dependent. You have work restrictions. You are normally subject to juvenile court rather than adult court. You are subject to compulsory education. You can be subject to curfews and driving restrictions. You can’t own a gun. Even up to age 21, you can be claimed as a dependent. Others are legally required to pay for your support. Etc.
If you decide, as a minor, to have sex, you are risking STDs (both giving and receiving) and pregnancy (whether you use protection or not). Perhaps you will snort at this, but I believe you are risking emotional and spiritual damage, as well.
A woman who married a man who could provide for her at age 15 is NOT comparable to a 35 year old who bangs a junior in high school. How are they in the least bit equivalent?
Some may be “mature enough” at 16 - some may not be until they are 25 or never - we as a culture have settled on 18, and I don’t want it reduced by so much as one more year.
Whose interests would we serve by doing so? And why would you like to serve those interests?
Yes, but at that time in history, life expectancy for a male was 25-30 years old, so Alexander the Great was considered middle-aged at 15.
All kidding aside though, the less attractive get the prison sentences.