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Freeper Canteen ~ Sunday Chapel Thread ~ Judas Asparagus ~ June 29, 2008
The Canteen Crew
| June 28, 2008
| Serving the Best Troops and Vets in the WORLD!
Posted on 06/28/2008 5:00:08 PM PDT by Brad's Gramma
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JUDAS ASPARAGUS
A child was told to write a book report on the entire Bible. This is amazing and brought tears to my eyes. I wonder how often we take for granted that children understand what we are teaching???
Through the eyes of a child. Children's Bible in a Nutshell.
In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas.
The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one, but I think He must be a lot older than that. Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world. He split the Adam and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet. Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.
Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he Was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.
One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one Of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.
After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than His brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.
Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti.
Then he gave them His Top ten Commandments. These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.
One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to Use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.
After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with A slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.
After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of These was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed upon the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.
After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of The New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say, 'As a matter of fact, I was.')
During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Republicans. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.
Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to Some Germans on the Mount. But the Republicans and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.
Any way, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He Went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.
Unknown Source
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TOPICS: Culture/Society; Extended News; Free Republic
KEYWORDS: chaplain; freepercanteen; military; troopsupport
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Dear God:
I ask that no Airman, Coast Guardsman,
Marine, Sailor, Soldier or National Guardsman
Feel alone or forgotten.
2
posted on
06/28/2008 5:00:25 PM PDT
by
Brad's Gramma
(Typical Whitey Gramma just like Obamies!)
To: Brad's Gramma
I heard this story from a nun in Catholic school as a child.
The religion teacher had asked the children to draw the Flight Into Egypt. One child had drawn an airplace with three passengers and a pilot. The teacher asked who were the people on the plane.
The child answered, "This is Joseph, and this is Mary, and this is the Baby Jesus."
"And who is this?" asked the teacher, pointing to the man flying the plane.
"Oh, that's Pontius the Pilot."
3
posted on
06/28/2008 5:05:54 PM PDT
by
Publius
(Another Republican for Obama -- NOT!!)
To: Brad's Gramma; xzins; bethelgrad; lightman; MoJo2001; StarCMC; txradioguy; Jet Jaguar; ...
4
posted on
06/28/2008 5:06:26 PM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: Publius
"Oh, that's Pontius the Pilot." LOL!!!!!
Have a wonderful Lord's Day, Publius..and thanks!!!
5
posted on
06/28/2008 5:08:08 PM PDT
by
Brad's Gramma
(Typical Whitey Gramma just like Obamies!)
To: Publius
Good Lord’s Day, Publius....what a wonderful view from a child. Thank you for sharing.
6
posted on
06/28/2008 5:08:42 PM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: Brad's Gramma; All
Good morning Troops, Veterans and Canteeners.* * * * * * * * * * * *
Our Flag Flying Proudly One Nation Under God
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Lord, Please Bless Our Troops, They're fighting for our Freedom.

I pledge allegiance to the Flag
of the United States of America,
and to the Republic, for which it stands;
one nation UNDER GOD,
indivisible,
with liberty and justice for all.
Prayers going up.
7
posted on
06/28/2008 5:18:24 PM PDT
by
HopeandGlory
(Hey, Liberals . . . PC died on 9/11 . . . GET USED TO IT!!!)
To: sneakers; vigilante2; Jade Falcon; Laurita; txradioguy; tongue-tied; SoldierDad; KB4W; ...
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Honoring Our Heroes AbnSarge USA Allegra 3 sons (armymarinemom and amdad) Brett USN (CindyDawg) Brother and Son-in-Law (kalee) Cannoneer No. 4 Capt Jason Clendenin (friend of Frou) Chris USA (amom) Clarinet_King USAF (NerdDad/CDBear) Col Mike (gpapa) CMS USA David USAF (LUV W) Defender2 Deven USA (Shimmer) Ethan USMC (georgiabelle) Ev USA (Mozie) Fred (DocRock) Future Snake Eater USA (RightOnline) GulfWar1Vet USA IS2 Brianne USN (My Hearts in London - Everett) IS2 Heather USN (My Hearts in London - Everett) Jade Falcon USN JemiansTerror USA (Jemian) Jet Jaguar USAF Joel (NEMDF) Jonathan USMC (AZbushgal) Josh USN (doug from upland) Karen USA (fatima's granddaughter) KB4W USAF (arbee4bush) Kenneth (Sweetbaby/LadyPilgrim) Kevin USMC (skimask) Kevin and David USA (vigilante2) Laurita USA LCpl Carter USMC Lindsay (Sweetbaby/LadyPilgrim) Lt David (Coldwater Creek) M1911A1 USMC (M0sby) M1Tanker MEG33's Navy Grandson Mike1Sg USA (mystery-ak) Milo828 USA (mystery-ak) Nate USN (sneakers) Old Sarge USA OneLoyalAmerican USCG PFC Dan USA (son of swmobuffalo) Robert, Jeremy, Daynnis USA (SoldierDad) Sat-Com Chris USA (son of KC Burke) Sgt Dusty USA (MountainDad) Sgt Sean Reed (preed) Sgt Spencer USA (grame) Son USCG (GodBlessUSA) SPC Mike USA (AbnSarge) SSGT John Linde USA (JFoxbear) Terrence USN (Sweetbaby/LadyPilgrim) The Sailor tongue-tied USN/USA Tonkin USN/USCG txradioguy USA Valerie USAF (Shimmer) Victor and Tony D USMC (weldgophardline) William USA (jackv)
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8
posted on
06/28/2008 5:23:12 PM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: HopeandGlory
9
posted on
06/28/2008 5:23:24 PM PDT
by
Brad's Gramma
(Typical Whitey Gramma just like Obamies!)
To: Kathy in Alaska; Brad's Gramma; Publius
10
posted on
06/28/2008 5:23:44 PM PDT
by
lakey
To: lakey
BLESSED Lord’s Day to you & yours, lakey!!!
11
posted on
06/28/2008 5:27:04 PM PDT
by
Brad's Gramma
(Typical Whitey Gramma just like Obamies!)
To: lakey
Good Lord's Day, lakey.....a child's eye view can be so refreshing, and some things are taken so literally. I LOVE Pontius the Pilot! Makes perfect sense.
12
posted on
06/28/2008 5:27:44 PM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: Brad's Gramma

Freep mail me to be on or off the Daily Bread ping list
June 29, 2008
True Confessions
Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me. Psalm 51:5
I love coconut. I always have! So, after an exhausting day in second grade, I found a bag of shredded coconut in the cupboard and devoured the whole thing. When my mother went into the kitchen later to bakeyou guessed it, a coconut cakeI heard, Who ate the coconut?!
I knew I was in trouble, but my escape plan was simplea quick, easy lie: Not me!
She continued her inquiry with my sisters, but after they denied it, we all heard the familiar words: Wait till your Dad comes home! My cover-up plan was doomed to failure, and later that evening I finally confessed.
No one had to teach me to lie. As the psalmist David admits, I was brought forth in iniquity (Ps. 51:5). But in his sin David knew where to goto the God of abundant mercy who will cleanse us from our sin (vv.1-2).
When we recognize the ongoing reality of sin in our lives, we are reminded of our ongoing need for the presence of God and the power of His Word to keep us safe and spiritually sane. He is waiting for us to confess our faults and embrace the forgiveness and cleansing that He readily offers.
Remember, a refreshing plunge into Gods mercy awaits you on the other side of confessed sin!
Out of my shameful failure and loss,
Jesus, I come, Jesus, I come;
Into the glorious gain of Thy cross,
Jesus, I come to Thee. Sleeper
Own up to your sin and experience the joy of confession.
Bible in One Year:
Psalms 7577
13
posted on
06/28/2008 5:28:37 PM PDT
by
The Mayor
( In GodÂ’s works we see His hand; in His Word we hear His heart)
To: All
14
posted on
06/28/2008 5:30:17 PM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: Brad's Gramma
These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable. No wonder Pharoah let them go. Having critters in yer bowels is bad enough, but - no cable? God sure was mean to them Egypsums.
15
posted on
06/28/2008 5:30:56 PM PDT
by
HiJinx
(~ Support our Troops ~ www.americasupportsyou.mil ~)
To: HopeandGlory
16
posted on
06/28/2008 5:36:12 PM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: Brad's Gramma; Kathy in Alaska
17
posted on
06/28/2008 5:40:01 PM PDT
by
HopeandGlory
(Hey, Liberals . . . PC died on 9/11 . . . GET USED TO IT!!!)
To: Brad's Gramma
Forgive me for laughing so hard, but I can hear a 1st grader saying that right now. LOL-LOL-LOL-LOL-LOL!!!
18
posted on
06/28/2008 5:43:04 PM PDT
by
SandRat
(Duty, Honor, Country! What else needs said?)
To: Brad's Gramma
Oh, how precious, out of the mouths of sweet babes! Thank you so much, I’m still laughing. God bless our troops!
19
posted on
06/28/2008 6:34:37 PM PDT
by
fishergirl
(My warrior, my soldier, my hero - my son. God bless our troops!)
To: Brad's Gramma
To: Brad's Gramma
Good evening, BG.
Good evening, all.
21
posted on
06/28/2008 6:42:57 PM PDT
by
Tanniker Smith
(Teachers open the door. It's up to you to enter.)
To: Brad's Gramma; Kathy in Alaska; laurenmarlowe; MEG33; Mrs.Nooseman; alfa6; SandRat; HopeandGlory; ..
GOD BLESS AND PROTECT OUR TROOPS!
Amazing Grace
by John Newton
Amazing grace! How sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me! I once was lost, but now am found; Was blind, but now I see. . Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, . And grace my fears relieved; How precious did that grace appear The hour I first believed! . Through many dangers, toils and snares, I have already come; Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, And grace will lead me home. . The Lord has promised good to me, His Word my hope secures; He will my Shield and Portion be, As long as life endures. . Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail, And mortal life shall cease, I shall possess, within the veil, A life of joy and peace. . The earth shall soon dissolve like snow, The sun forbear to shine; But God, Who called me here below, Will be forever mine. . When weve been there ten thousand years, Bright shining as the sun, Weve no less days to sing Gods praise Than when wed first begun.
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22
posted on
06/28/2008 6:46:35 PM PDT
by
ConorMacNessa
(HM/2 USN, 3/5 Marines, RVN 1969. St. Peregrine, patron saint of cancer patients, pray for us.)
To: Brad's Gramma
“Dear God:
I ask that no Airman, Coast Guardsman,
Marine, Sailor, Soldier or National Guardsman
Feel alone or forgotten.”
That prayer says it all...except to say “thank you and stay safe”.
“TT”, Beth & Nana
23
posted on
06/28/2008 7:01:21 PM PDT
by
Texas Termite
(Each new day is a gift from Above)
To: Brad's Gramma
HI, Grandma.
checking IN!
free dixie,sw
24
posted on
06/28/2008 7:22:07 PM PDT
by
stand watie
(Resistance to TYRANTS is OBEDIENCE to God. T. Jefferson, 1804)
To: Kathy in Alaska
Evening sweetie. I hope your weekend is going well and you’re not working too much!
xoxo,
Kristin
25
posted on
06/28/2008 8:22:42 PM PDT
by
MeekMom
(Bulls got 1st pick! Yahooo!!!)
To: HiJinx
GRRRRR!!!! Returning from a power outage.....
Good Lord’s Day to you and Nana, HJ.
I love your post with a complete grasp of the little folks thinking.
26
posted on
06/28/2008 9:10:53 PM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: Kathy in Alaska
Power outage?
Back to basics...
27
posted on
06/28/2008 9:12:30 PM PDT
by
HiJinx
(~ Support our Troops ~ www.americasupportsyou.mil ~)
To: MeekMom
Good Lord's Day, MM...((HUGS))...power outage here. I'm glad it's summer. LOL! Busy, busy day. Still have to finish care packages and go to the airport snail mail office.

28
posted on
06/28/2008 9:20:10 PM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: All
29
posted on
06/28/2008 9:22:31 PM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: HiJinx
Back to basics...For sure....
30
posted on
06/28/2008 9:55:06 PM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: All
31
posted on
06/29/2008 2:44:27 AM PDT
by
Cindy
To: Kathy in Alaska
((HUGS))Morning, Kathy. How's it going?
A very pleasant good morning to everyone at the Canteen and to all our military at home and abroad. Thanks for your service to our country.
32
posted on
06/29/2008 2:56:25 AM PDT
by
E.G.C.
(To read a freeper's FR postings, click on his or her screen name and then "In Forum".)
To: All
33
posted on
06/29/2008 3:10:43 AM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: Alouette; American Preservative; Yehuda; yonif; Tamar1973; MoochPooch; richardtavor; Nix 2; ...

Wishing all our Jewish troops, veterans, families, allies, friends, and Canteeners
a peaceful and prosperous week.
34
posted on
06/29/2008 3:12:53 AM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: Alouette; American Preservative; Yehuda; yonif; Tamar1973; MoochPooch; richardtavor; Nix 2; ...

He Who blessed our forefathers Abraham, Isaac and Jacob - may He bless the fighters of the Israel Defense Force, who stand guard over our land and the cities of our G-d from the border of the Lebanon to the desert of Egypt, and from the Great Sea unto the approach of the Aravah, on the land, in the air, and on the sea.
May HASHEM cause the enemies who rise up against us to be struck down before them. May the Holy One, Blessed is He, preserve and rescue our fighting men from every trouble and distress and from every plague and illness, and may He send blessing and success in their every endeavor.
May He lead our enemies under their sway and may He grant them salvation and crown them with victory. And may there be fulfilled for them the verse: For it is Hashem, your G-d, Who goes with you to battle your enemies for you to save you.

G-d bless and keep your children safe, Alouette.
35
posted on
06/29/2008 3:13:46 AM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: Brad's Gramma; MoJo2001; StarCMC; HiJinx; Aeronaut; laurenmarlowe; AZamericonnie; beachn4fun; ...

Prayers for our troops, veterans, families, allies, friends, and Canteeners
for a safe and peaceful week ahead.
36
posted on
06/29/2008 3:14:53 AM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: SoldierDad; vigilante2; jackv; Jemian; sneakers; arbee4bush; Azbushgal; LUV W; mystery-ak; ...
37
posted on
06/29/2008 3:16:38 AM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: Jet Jaguar; txradioguy; Laurita; CMS; OneLoyalAmerican; tongue-tied; Defender2; Beagle8U; ...
To our Military -
Thank you for protecting us. Sleep well and safe.
May you be protected. May your families' hearts be at ease.
Thank you to our Allies.
**********************************
To those of our Military and Allies who gave their all,
- May your souls rest in peace. May your families be comforted.
May your/our country always remember.
38
posted on
06/29/2008 3:18:30 AM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: All
39
posted on
06/29/2008 3:19:56 AM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: Kathy in Alaska
Morning coffee bump.
We had a line of storms develop South of us and move away from our area. Quite a bit of rsin around the Red River.
Bo and Chuck are up and at 'em this morning. We ate chicken tenders for supper yesterday.
40
posted on
06/29/2008 3:58:39 AM PDT
by
E.G.C.
(To read a freeper's FR postings, click on his or her screen name and then "In Forum".)
To: E.G.C.
Yummy...good Sunday to you, E...((HUGS))...good to hear that Bo and Chuck are doing well. I’m hoping to go see the Air Force Thunderbirds later today, so our maybe rain can stay away for at least 15 hours, then let it RAIN!!
41
posted on
06/29/2008 4:05:31 AM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: The Mayor
Good Lord’s Day to The Mayor family. Hope you’ve had a good weekend so far. Thank you for the sustenance for body and soul.
42
posted on
06/29/2008 4:07:29 AM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: txradioguy; sxytxredhead73
43
posted on
06/29/2008 5:27:56 AM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: StarCMC; SoldierDad; spotbust1; jaycee; Poetgal26; All
44
posted on
06/29/2008 5:29:17 AM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: All
45
posted on
06/29/2008 5:32:23 AM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: blackie; Jet Jaguar; Jack Deth; txradioguy; tongue-tied; E.G.C.; Laurita; SoldierDad; Allegra; ...
46
posted on
06/29/2008 5:34:25 AM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: redrock; All
47
posted on
06/29/2008 5:35:28 AM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: All; brushcop
48
posted on
06/29/2008 5:36:10 AM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
To: Kathy in Alaska
49
posted on
06/29/2008 5:36:19 AM PDT
by
E.G.C.
(To read a freeper's FR postings, click on his or her screen name and then "In Forum".)
To: Jet Jaguar; Laurita; CMS; OneLoyalAmerican; tongue-tied; Defender2; txradioguy; MEG33; ...
50
posted on
06/29/2008 5:37:38 AM PDT
by
Kathy in Alaska
(~ RIP Brian...heaven's gain...the Coast Guard lost a good one.~)
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