Posted on 07/03/2008 2:27:32 PM PDT by forkinsocket
/johnny
As important as marriage is for a nation and its people, it is also important to recognize that marriage isn’t for everyone.
There are a goodly number of people out there who not only can’t be in a good marriage, but if they are honest with themselves, understand that they shouldn’t be married, that it is just not right for them. Ironically, trying at marriage and failing, over and over, isn’t “bad luck”, instead it is probably self deception by someone who just isn’t the marrying kind.
Think of it as people who want to be “married to marriage”, instead of “married to a spouse.” It just isn’t going to work, because you are getting married for the wrong reason.
Society also has a problem with people who don’t get married. They have no “niche” in society, a purposeful existence as such, unless it is something unrelated to marriage.
The nation of China, however, has long had the tradition of the “amah”, that Americans know of exclusively by its utility in crossword puzzles. An amah was a “maiden aunt”, who lived with a family and was treated as if she was related, but had no blood relation. She would do some light housework, help in the kitchen, work as a nanny, and things like that. In exchange she would receive a small stipend and get room and board. She would also refrain from dating or marriage as part of the deal.
It was an excellent alternative for an “extra female”, who either was unattractive or whose family could not afford a dowry, yet was a vocation of honor, as opposed to being a prostitute, which was about the only other career such a woman could have, or starve.
Unmarried bachelor men were pretty much on their own, with their choices being as a soldier or a criminal.
In America, fortunately, some of our most honored citizens have not been “the marrying kind”. Remaining bachelors also allowed them to focus on creative endeavors that most married people, especially with children, just didn’t have the time, effort and energy. Remaining unmarried they could still do things, they were not pariahs.
The Mormon leader Brigham Young did point out an important fact, that “Any young man who is unmarried at the age of twenty one is a menace to the community. “ This is a truism, because most people are not particularly creative, but being unmarried allows them the luxury of being mischievous.
And this is the bottom line in America today. Being married, and especially having children, is a great way to stay out of trouble. Without those constraints, it is just too easy to run amok.
24 years married... you are much older than 24.
Or be in a position to accept contracts that the ex would scream about..... "YOU ARE GOING WHERE? FOR HOW LONG?".
Some of us managed to live a full life with a spouse, and then go on to be creative..... "WTF did I contract for?"
But I'll manage it. Mainly without dogs and spouse.
Deploying to do the impossible is what I live for.
/johnny
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