The Pinocchios of the Left

Modern Conservative ^ | July 08, 2008 | Burt Prelutsky

[thinkingIsPresuppositional]

The Pinocchios of the Left

By Burt Prelutsky

There are good lies and there are bad lies, and not just on a golf course. Good lies are those that make me laugh. For instance, the NBA recently held its pre-draft camp in Orlando, Florida, and they discovered that the one thing these college prospects had in common, aside of course from a reluctance to play defense, was that a large number of them have been lying about their height. Memphis center Joey Dorsey, Memphis guard Derrick Pose and Duke guard DeMarcus Johnson, weren’t really 6-9, 6-4 and 6-4, as advertised, but were 6-6, 6-1 and 6-1, respectively. UCLA’s Kevin Love wasn’t 6-10, but actually a tad under 6-8. Kansas State’s Michael Beasley was 6-7, not 6-10, and USC’s Davon Jefferson was a full three inches shy of 6-8. Not only wasn’t Tennessee Martin’s Lester Hudson not 6-3, he wasn’t even a six-footer.

All of this is very peculiar for a couple of reasons. One, I find the notion that guys who have to stoop down to clear doorways feel compelled to lie about their height pretty darn amusing. Two, what’s the point? Psychological warfare? If I’m, say, 6-10 and my opponent claims to be my size, but is only 6-7, am I supposed to start wondering if maybe I’m really 7-1? Frankly, I don’t see how that will throw off my game in the least.

But when it comes to lying about things that really matter, you can’t beat those on the left...

[Old North State]

DeMarcus Johnson? Who Dat?

[Sicon]

When I was in college, there was a player on our basketball team listed at 6’1”. I happened to find myself standing right next to him in a bar one night, and he was at least 3” shorter than me (6’0”).