Apologies to the great William Marshall. BTW, Blacula was actually a really good little movie! Apologies to the great William Marshall. BTW, Blacula was actually a really good little movie!For the MST3K version of a blaxploitation film:
Crow: Okay, everybody! In the spirit of the 70’s, I’ve come up with a brilliant blaxploitation film for all of us to star in.
Mike: Crow, I don’t know. It just seems to me that you’ve re-worked “Earth vs. Soup” and inserted jive-y character names.
Crow: Oh, like I’m that lazy... Huh...
Servo: Now I’m confused, am I “Chocolate Jones” or “Sugar-Fly Queen”?
Crow: Ah, you’re both. And you’re also reading the part of “Sweet Mama String-Bean” who runs the Boutique D’ Boute.
Servo: Sweet Mama String-Bean?
Crow: Okay, Mike, ah... Take it from Afro’s and Bofro’s line on the top of page five.
Mike: Okay, girl don’t think on Soul Brothers.
Gypsy: I don’t have any lines.
Crow: Well, but you get to wear slinky dresses and hold guns and stuff...
Gypsy: Not this sister!
Mike: Crow, ya know, I don’t know how to tell you this but, ah, look at me, I’m really not that funky.
Crow: Mike! To me you’re the Don Cornelius of the 90’s.
Mike: Well I... I don’t really see it that way...
Crow: “Chocolate Jones and the Temple of Funk” is a guaranteed bofo-box office. Smudgy the Bootblack which, is of course my part. So I’ll need a cane. Oh and Mike, what size dashiki do you wear? Uh, I’ll get a large. Now, the Cadillac’s...
With all his new Barackracy?
We could be looking at the next cover of the New Yorker!