Posted on 07/23/2008 4:40:16 PM PDT by Coffee200am
Melbourne: Tried everything but can’t seem to get rid of your post-marriage love handles? Well, don’t question your determination for the failed plan, for the real culprit behind all weight worries is your hubby.
Yes, you heard it right. According to health experts, a husband is more of a hindrance than help in a wife's battle with the bulge.
"For some women, marriage definitely can be fattening," the Courier Mail quoted Dr Brian Steadman, a leading British authority on nutrition, as saying.
"It's hard enough for them to stick to good eating habits when they're single, but they can find it impossible after they're married.
"For a start, they've got to prepare food for two people, and it gets worse when children come along. Suddenly, she is constantly thinking about food - buying it, cooking it, fixing snacks and meals at different times of the day.
“And if the husband doesn't need to diet, then with all the best intentions in the world, the poor woman is going to find it very tough preparing big wholesome meals for the family and low-calorie snacks for herself,” he added.
Dr Richard B Stuart, an American authority on slimming and nutrition, and former psychological director of Weight Watchers International, the author of Act Thin, Stay Thin, agrees.
"If a woman can't stay on a diet, it could easily be her husband's fault," he said.
"In fact, a husband might subconsciously be encouraging his wife to remain fat, and make it harder for her to lose weight,” he added.
Dr B Stuart has given some reasons as to why this could be so: if he feels in any way insecure in his relationship, then he reasons that a plump wife is less likely to leave him or make other men jealous, if he has a low sex drive then having a fat wife is a very good excuse for lack of interest or potency.
If he's the kind who isn't prepared to put a lot of effort into the marriage, then it will be much easier for him to keep her "fat" than "happy", Dr B Stuart said.
If his wife is a failure as a dieter, it "allows" him to have his workaholic schedule or an affair and there are many other ways that a husband, perhaps unwittingly, can hinder his wife's ambitions to keep her weight down, the health expert added.
Sounds like the "health expert" is pretty good at projecting.
Oh, please........
You can blame your hubby if ya put on a few pounds! LOL
And if she were in a nurturing, lesbian relationship all of her problems would disappear /SARC
If they carried the garbage out themselves they wouldn’t been so fat.
I have found that consuming fewer calories than I burned has helped me on my path from very obese to a few pounds below my ideal weight on the met life tables. It’s been quite a journey. I am not going back to the heavy side again.
Earlier thread
“”If a woman can’t stay on a diet, it could easily be her husband’s fault,” he said.”
What ain’t?.............ducks.
I think a lot of married women try to get away with eating as much food as hubby does, forgetting that men usually have a higher metabolism.
Or they take the “eating for two” mantra during pregnancy a little too literally.
When I go to potlucks, I usually eat off a dessert plate, rather than a regular size plate, to avoid overeating.
I think there are some women out there who just want to blame anyone but themselves for being fat (genetics, etc.) but some women are married to men who actively sabotage their efforts by refusing to help take care of the children while she works out at the club or on the elliptical trainer in the house. Those kind of men are pigs but I think this article way over generalises.
And their lack of self-discipline would, of course, be the MAN'S fault ...
It is the man’s fault.. You men are supposed to save us from ourselves! ;)
get a clue ... women are ONLY victims if they see themselves as victims...
husbands are not responsible for wives' fat... period
those women need to get off their duffs and walk an hour a day to maintain their weight... --> move it
still 5'10" size 8/10 and I had two kids... so quit the whining and walk...
If the husband is to blame to his overweight wife, then she is to blame for his adultery.
He will load the house up with all kinds of snacks. When they go out he orders desert and insists that she eat it after he takes 2 bites.
Lots of voodoo in the article, but very little evidence.
We're not fighting, I just don't like to interrupt.
Agreed.
When I got married 2.5 years ago, I was in the best shape of my life. I weighed 195 lbs, and I’m 6 feet tall. My wife weighed 115 lbs then and weighs 115 lbs now, after having our baby two months ago. We are reversed in this relationship though, I have slow metabolism and have to workout 4-5 times a week. She runs 20 minutes 3 times a week and eats as much as I do. I gain the weight, she keeps it off no problem.
A while ago we were talking about weight and I pointed out that if you look at many couples, the woman is actually thicker (rounder, not the sexy soft curvy round that men love) than the man. She has started noticing it now, and it is probably because of your point; the woman eats as much as the man even though she initially weighs only 70 percent of what the man weighs. The pounds pack on fast if you do that.
I’ve had a couple of good girl-friends who were somewhat chunky, then worked out like hell to get slimmer. They were worried that they’d never marry if they were chunky. Then, after getting married, they’ve put on all the weight they lost plus some. I will probably get flamed, but their situations seemed a little dishonest to me. In my defense, there are men who do the same thing...just my 2 cents.
Wife: Say honey, does this dress make me look fat?
Hubby; Oh no, dear, you look great.
The average woman gains something like 20 pounds the first year of marriage. The bottom line is women usually take on their husband’s eating habits because it’s easier. There are items now in the refrigerator that single women don’t usually keep. I’m not making a judgement, just stating facts.
Good for you! Are you a man or a woman???
I'm 5'3", 49 1/2 years old, weight 120 pounds and am a size 4/6. I work damn hard for that as my natural tendency is to be overweight. So I'll repeat and expound on your simple words of wisdom: QUIT THE WHINING, MOVE AWAY FROM THE TABLE AND WALK!
Fortunately, I do the grocery shopping. No bread, no potato chips, tortilla chips, etc. in the house.
As for your friend, she should find some cute personal trainer (male of course) and really get hubby’s BP going.
The snacks would go into the trash (or into hubby’s car—he bought them, he can have ‘em).
We both work hard but she has never been the type who puts on weight. I could loose about 15 pounds myself but Im still not fat. If you do a lot of physical stuff (not just working out) it keeps the weight off.
Man.
Good one!!
Ain’t easy to figure out, but SO hard to do. I’ve gotten 40 pounds off since New Year’s Eve, and they’re not coming back! But I’ve got about 80 more to go, so I’m looking at another year or two to get it all off. No way I’m going back, after that!
Congrats...doesn’t it feel good to do something that is SO hard to do...but so worth it??!!!
I have a friend who did what you describe...she dieted like crazy to be thin ... met this guy...married him without telling him about her weight issues (went as far as to tell me not to show pictures of her from my wedding, when she was at her heaviest) and then, when married, gained it back. I think that’s fraud. And I told her.
I'd been doing pretty well with exercise; hubby has been walking with me, but it got so hot the last few weeks, and I had another overnight in the hospital a couple of weeks ago, that I slowed it down. Now I'm gearing back up, and it feels good to get back on track.
Good for you!!! It is hard, but sooo worth it.
Our evenings go like this: my husband eats his way through a sleeve of Chips Ahoy and washes it down with whole milk. My 16 year old son eats his way through anything he deems edible. My two beagles catch every crumb. I, however, ride my recumbent bike for an hour. Yup, being female is great fun.
The **ONLY** thing that seems to have permanent weight loss results is SURGERY!!!! Period! No argument! Blood studies show that people with gastric surgery have a permanent reduction is some key hunger hormones. They no longer feel hungry.
**ALL** diets push people below their natural set point and more than 15 different hunger hormones go NUTZ!...and the metabolism slows down as well. To keep weight off these people **must** stay on a **permanent** diet and in a state of near permanent hunger.
Yes, there are very **few** people who can manage to lose weight and keep it off. They can do it through force of brute will,,,but,, they are always hungry and they **must** weight and measure every crumb for LIFE!
Bad news, folks, but losing weight through dieting is bad news....and the husband and kids shouldn't be blamed.
This “doctor” in this article makes a living from Weight Watchers. Geeze! How convenient! Blame and beat up the kids and the husband for Weight Watchers not working.
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Yep! I've seen both men and women do this.
LOL! And the WORST part is that if your hubby did decide to work on losing weight, he can take it off faster than you, and seemingly easier! NOT FAIR! ;o)
I have an appointment with my doctor on the 10th to talk to him about the medication, sibutramine.
Sibutramine is a norephinephrine uptake inhibitor. It reduces appetite, and is approved by the FDA for weight control.
There is a new, far less invasive operation call, vagotomy. Through endoscopic surgery they cut the vagus nerve at the level of the stomach. So far this operation has shown excellent results for weight loss and appetite control.
If for some reason, the medicine sibutramne does not work, I will do what ever it takes to get a vagotomy, even it means going to Costa Rica. I am exhausted and tired from dealing with the **constant** hunger and the **constant** counting of portions and calories.
Keeping it off has been hard for me. I dropped almost 100 pounds, gained back 15, and then lost 25. It’s almost easier trying to lose weight than trying to maintain the loss.
Bingo! You bet!
One time, I was placed on a medication that caused me to gain weight very rapidly. It was a known and common side effect of the drug but the doctor in his calousness did not tell me.
Naturally, I just **freaked**! I stopped eating for a month! Of course I lost 20 lbs that month but I was hospitalized for 3 days when the doctor found out.
I now know why some people are anorexic.
Reason: After 3 days of starvation, I stopped feeling so hungry.
It is **more** comfortable to be in that state of hungerless, anorexic, starvation than it is to be constantly fighting the hunger I feel now, or being fat.
I never did that again, and I ballooned up to 208 lbs. ( Horrible!) I am normal weight now but dealing with the hunger is **exhausting**!
There are plenty of people who have gained the weight back after surgery. Yes, some people keep the weight off permanently, but that is true of some diets and exercise as well.
My major problem is that my metabolism is shot. I don't like most food, don't like to think about food and hate to cook. It's easier to be hungry and that feeling eventually goes away anyway. What I do eat, aside from dinner which is cooked for the whole family and thus worth the time, is crap that I can grab quickly because I'm starving.
Needless to say, this is not a winning weight-loss strategy.
As Juvenal put it: Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
"Who will keep the keepers?"
Well... it’s certainly true that I’ve gained a little weight since I got married, but there’s a much simpler explanation for that... I’ve had three children! It does change your body a little you know. I suppose in a way that’s my husband’s fault, but it’s hardly something for anyone to blame each other about. :-)
i agree! My husband likes his meat and potatoes every meal. I make it and always have. throw in four children and its hard to stick to any exercise regime or diet.
Not blaming them, just pointing out that by myself i would almost never have that sort of food in the house.
I didn’t want to use the word fraud, but that’s what I would have used. That’s how I feel about it too. I think if you are like Jared from the Subway commercials, you should be open about it. If the person loves you, it won’t matter anyway. But hiding it is a confession that you are not secure enough in your relationship to discuss issues that might be important to the other person.
I had a physical a month later, and they did all the bloodwork. ALL of the readings were normal; cholesterol, triclycerides, etc, so I knew then that getting the weight down could only make things better. I've been wanting to get the weight down for years, and had gone up and down, within a range of about 25 pounds over the last 10 years, but never could keep it down. I have this time, though, and will continue to do so. I just celebrated my 55th birthday, and I want to be nice and svelte for my 56th! I'm not looking to get skinny, because that will never happen. I LOVE food too much for that. But I will get in great shape and be healthy; that's the most important thing to me. I want to be around so we can spoil our grandkids, whenever they come along!
How about I blame my wife? She keeps giant stores of chocolate and other sweets around the house. She insists on eating out at least once a week. She doesn’t like to walk or do exercise. How about I blame her instead of myself? Works both ways.
What a cop-out. I have been eating low carb (not zero carb) for several years. I’m at a healthy weight now and I DON’T feel hungry 24/7. I do exercise some way nearly every day but I eat good good, not processed crap. That’s how you lose weight but it’s a permanent lifestyle change.
You can never go back to the 1 gal icecream and oreo binges, but if you value your health (and your looks), it’s worth the “sacrifice”.
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