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To: MrB

How much does infertility factor into these numbers? It isn’t always a choice.


30 posted on 08/19/2008 7:14:29 AM PDT by Jaded (does it really need a sarcasm tag?)
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To: Jaded

Adopt.

In the present culture war, it is far more important to pass on your values than your genes.


34 posted on 08/19/2008 7:16:21 AM PDT by MrB (You can't reason people out of a position that they didn't use reason to get into in the first place)
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To: Jaded

You’re so right, it isn’t always a choice.

I had one “successful” pregnancy at 19. Then at 23, I had a miscarriage far along in pregnancy. Then at 24, I had a baby with birth defects who died at six weeks of age. - After that, my husband decided to embark on an affair. . and after that, I could no longer trust him to stick by me if my reproductive health kept failing and I had another baby with “problems”. We had one child who was “normal”, and I didn’t want to find myself a dumped wife, unwell and struggling to support myself and two children, one possibly a special needs child, so I took steps to avoid that. - I think he decided I was a good and cheap enough housekeeper, cook, maid, nursemaid, gofer and secretary that he might not be able to find a hot replacement who would also be a practical replacement. (I wasn’t a dog necessarily.)

I wanted children and grandchildren, but have had to accept the reality of my life and am just thankful for whatever good is in my life. Our son never married (due in part to the realities of marriage that he had seen in us and others). - “Shades of Edwards” - -

My sister-in-law, on the other hand, did not like children and did not want to have any children (or grandchildren). She and my husband’s brother almost divorced because of her refusal to have children (which in all fairness HE had agreed to going in). Well, over her protests and complaints, they had two children who are now having children. She still complains about how hard the second labor was and how glad she was when the two kids left home. - They both now treat me with pretty much total disrespect and passive-aggressive contempt. I’ve bent over backwards to accommodate them, but of late have decided that I am done with their belittling, caustic treatment of me and his frequent tongue lashing of me. I am staying off their turf where I’m subject to his chewing my butt, away from the venues where she makes loud, belittling remarks about me in front of the whole group, and they are going to cease and desist on my case on any other turf. - I think I’ve, hopefully, paid a high enough price for being in that “royal family in their own eyes”.

I’m thankful for the one son that I do have, as well as the other two boys that I lost so long ago - and I hope to see them again in a better Kingdom. (After over 40 yrs. of marriage, things are better to a great degree and I’m thankful.)


100 posted on 08/19/2008 9:09:22 AM PDT by Twinkie (TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT !!!)
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