Skip to comments.Post-abortive men finally speak out
Posted on 09/21/2008 11:44:33 AM PDT by wagglebee
A second national conference on the negative effects of abortion on men has been held, and more may be scheduled.
The conference's purpose explores the revelation that men experience, according to LifeNews.com, profound regret and grief after an involvement in an abortion decision. Vicki Thorn of the National Office of Post-Abortion Reconciliation and Healing believes consideration and psychological care for post-abortive fathers is long overdue.
"It's time we begin speaking about it, and that was my intent in being able to organize these two conferences -- that we begin to speak through the veil of science about the fact that there's more than one partner in this," Thorn explains. "The pregnancy didn't occur in a vacuum, and so there is both a woman and a man that are involved."
Thorn knows that fact from her own practice. "I've had calls from men from the very beginning, when I first started doing post-abortion work, risking to share their experiences and seeing that, within the society, there's no validation for the fact that a male might suffer afterwards," she adds.
Over 70 percent of relationships, according to Thorn, break up after an abortion. She claims the American Psychological Association (APA) mislead the American people in its recent claims that abortion is "psychologically safe" for women. The APA refuses to recognize long-term effects on women, and certainly on men, but Thorn believes it is a legitimate problem that needs to be addressed.
Another psychologist at the conference, Catherine Coyle, believes pro-lifers should be more available to help men who are grieving an abortion and show them that they are not alone.
"It is the compassionate thing for us to do to recognize that some people -- men and women -- have profound grief and suffering after an abortion," Coyle contends. "And if we are to be a compassionate society, we must validate their pain and provide the help they need regardless of where we may stand individually on the issue of abortion."
The APA doesn't want ANYTHING to interfere with their agenda.
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Of course, that does give them a problem explaining the suicide rate, and postings on places like the PASS boards.
I must be unusually insensitive.
We are supposed to terribly concerned about those “grieving” over the person they’ve killed.
Isn’t that like the guy who killed his parents and then begged for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan?
Makes me wonder about parents of young women who’ve pressured their daughters into having an abortion.
In the case of the fathers, sometimes they had no say in the matter. Remember the Official SCOTUS Abortion dogma: abortion is a “woman’s right,” men have no say in it at all, even if they’re married to the woman in question.
Okay, I’ll buy that. But the article does talk about the men being involved in the decision, and we all know that in many if not most abortion cases the man implicitly if not explicitly encourages the choice to abort.
Still seems to me this is an article of extreme disconnect with reality about who is the victim and who are the perps.
What planet are you on? The man gets no say in the abortion whatsoever. I think you’ve proven your comment on sensitivity without a doubt though.
The APA diminishes the science behind psychology by pushing the notion that ANYTHING is healthy normal if accepted by society by fiat.
The APA needs to be regulated out of existence.
The secrecy of the procedure itself is the biggest obstacle to the truth of the evil being known. A girl in our community committed suicide four days after having an abortion. She literally fell into a depression so intense no one could talk to her for the last day of her life.
Naturally, her family didn’t want the story discussed—and so the moral lesson could not be made more plain to a broader public.
Abortion kills more than just the babies.
No. It isn't like that at all.
you are looking at it wrong.
what happens when the father finds out his wife or girlfriend had the abortion? he has no legals say.
For the sake of argument, his wife decided his child should die. Or worse.
That is certainly a problem in Britain in fact so much that many young teenagers hide the pregancy until it is illegal to abort.
Not surprising. Even if there had been any hope for a commitment, this would likely kill it. Some memories, though, can never be banished.
Think of it this way - if and as ANY person feels remorse and repentence to the point of wanting to change/do something to stop abortion, as compared to the horrific indifference of death, then any help to vocalize the anguish for guilt as a first step to that end is worth it.
Yes, definitely a legitimate problem. May God bless these men with understanding, patience and perseverance in their lives. Let not the actions of the abortionists defile their faith. Amen.
I think it happens more often than people realize. Know if there's been any studies done in Britain about the issue?
APA refuses to acknowledge the long term psychological effects of abortion,
but declassifies Same Sex Attraction Disorder and soon Pedophilia as mental disorders.
“Mental illness”, when not caused by a chemical problem, is simply the result of not dealing with sin in the right way.
I know personally of one such case and have seen TV programs that (although not citing the fact that if the parents had found out they would have forced the child to abort) that have stated that the parents were not aware of the pregnancy until the option of abortion was no longer there.
Sometimes they state that the child was young and in denial so did not confuse to their parents or even visit their doctor to confirm the pregnancy. I tend to think that they knew what the outcome of such an action would be as many parents openly state what they would do if their daughter got pregnant as a teen, march them down to the doctors and get referred for an abortion.
confess not confuse
I submit that "horrific indifference" is very rare or non-existant.
Either the person feels remorse for the horrific act of infanticide and repents,
or they feel remorse for the wrong act and attempt to kill that sense of remorse through justification and "activism". I know of one person that even went so far as to become an abortionist to justify her "choice".
Every human is wired with the same sense of right and wrong - some just attempt to remove any reminders of their guilt, and justify it until they die.
They didn't want to "punish" their daughters with a baby.
Don't forget, we live in a society where children are told to "explore their sexuality" in a "consequence free environment." They're told an abortion is a "medical procedure."
Young people are bombarded with homosexuality and promiscuity.
Later, they feel the natural consequences of their actions. Listen to the testimony of many "Right to Lifers." You'll be shocked at how many had abortions when they were younger...
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Obama Says A Baby Is A Punishment
Of course it does. Men go through grief as women do. Terrible law must be put down........
Been there, done that - when I realized I had no choice.
We already had a daughter. My only choice was to agree to the abortion and continue to be part of her life or to lose everything. It was a bit like choosing how I was to be put to death. Perhaps it would have been easier if it had been my own life in the balance. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through and I still dread December 13th.
I have had five people,family and friends,who have had abortions,all of them were told by the men in their relationships they didn’t want no baby. One friend was so depressed after the abortion she got pregnant again and her husband was going to leave her,she got another abortion. I found out that a lot of women get pregnant again after an abortion to replace the baby they lost only to get another abortion.
I have a friend who’s now-ex-wife aborted their third child behind his back.
On his birthday.
If you don’t mind me asking, how did he find out?
Well, it is.
Of course, so is lethal injection and so were Dr. Mengele's experiments...
In cases where the sperm donor was opposed to and tried to talk the sperm recipient out of the abortion, my comments don’t really apply.
Many on this forum have stated that a woman who doesn’t want to have a baby should keep her legs together. And I agree.
I’d like to extend that concept to the man. A man who doesn’t want his child aborted should keep his pants zipped until he’s in a relationship where abortion is not a possibility.
The woman who aborts her child is acting maliciously. The man who carelessly impregnated her without thought for the possible consequences is behaving recklessly.
One is murder, the other reckless manslaughter.
cute answer but it does not change the fact that the thread is based on the FACT that people DO have an unavoidable psychological issue to deal with.
all you say may be valid, but the net result is a problem that was dealt with in a catastrophic consequence manner.