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Post-abortive men finally speak out
OneNewsNow ^ | 9/21/08 | Charlie Butts and Marty Cooper

Posted on 09/21/2008 11:44:33 AM PDT by wagglebee

sad man griefA second national conference on the negative effects of abortion on men has been held, and more may be scheduled.

 

The conference's purpose explores the revelation that men experience, according to LifeNews.com, profound regret and grief after an involvement in an abortion decision. Vicki Thorn of the National Office of Post-Abortion Reconciliation and Healing believes consideration and psychological care for post-abortive fathers is long overdue.
 
"It's time we begin speaking about it, and that was my intent in being able to organize these two conferences -- that we begin to speak through the veil of science about the fact that there's more than one partner in this," Thorn explains. "The pregnancy didn't occur in a vacuum, and so there is both a woman and a man that are involved."
 
Thorn knows that fact from her own practice. "I've had calls from men from the very beginning, when I first started doing post-abortion work, risking to share their experiences and seeing that, within the society, there's no validation for the fact that a male might suffer afterwards," she adds.
 Baby hand in adult hand_big
Over 70 percent of relationships, according to Thorn, break up after an abortion. She claims the American Psychological Association (APA) mislead the American people in its recent claims that abortion is "psychologically safe" for women. The APA refuses to recognize long-term effects on women, and certainly on men, but Thorn believes it is a legitimate problem that needs to be addressed.
 
Another psychologist at the conference, Catherine Coyle, believes pro-lifers should be more available to help men who are grieving an abortion and show them that they are not alone.
 
"It is the compassionate thing for us to do to recognize that some people -- men and women -- have profound grief and suffering after an abortion," Coyle contends. "And if we are to be a compassionate society, we must validate their pain and provide the help they need regardless of where we may stand individually on the issue of abortion."



TOPICS: Culture/Society; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: abortion; fatherhood; males; moralabsolutes; postabortivemen; postabortivewomen; prolife; psychology
The APA refuses to recognize long-term effects on women, and certainly on men, but Thorn believes it is a legitimate problem that needs to be addressed.

The APA doesn't want ANYTHING to interfere with their agenda.

1 posted on 09/21/2008 11:44:33 AM PDT by wagglebee
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To: cgk; Coleus; cpforlife.org; narses; 8mmMauser

Pro-Life Ping


2 posted on 09/21/2008 11:45:01 AM PDT by wagglebee ("A political party cannot be all things to all people." -- Ronald Reagan, 3/1/75)
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To: 185JHP; 230FMJ; 50mm; 69ConvertibleFirebird; Aleighanne; Alexander Rubin; ...
Moral Absolutes Ping!

Freepmail wagglebee to subscribe or unsubscribe from the moral absolutes ping list.

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3 posted on 09/21/2008 11:45:34 AM PDT by wagglebee ("A political party cannot be all things to all people." -- Ronald Reagan, 3/1/75)
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To: wagglebee
The APA refuses to recognize long-term effects on women, and certainly on men, but Thorn believes it is a legitimate problem that needs to be addressed

Of course, that does give them a problem explaining the suicide rate, and postings on places like the PASS boards.

4 posted on 09/21/2008 11:49:30 AM PDT by MrEdd (Heck? Geewhiz Cripes, thats the place where people who don't believe in Gosh think they aint going.)
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To: wagglebee

I must be unusually insensitive.

We are supposed to terribly concerned about those “grieving” over the person they’ve killed.

Isn’t that like the guy who killed his parents and then begged for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan?


5 posted on 09/21/2008 11:50:10 AM PDT by Sherman Logan (qui)
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To: wagglebee

Makes me wonder about parents of young women who’ve pressured their daughters into having an abortion.


6 posted on 09/21/2008 11:52:53 AM PDT by GoLightly
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To: Sherman Logan

In the case of the fathers, sometimes they had no say in the matter. Remember the Official SCOTUS Abortion dogma: abortion is a “woman’s right,” men have no say in it at all, even if they’re married to the woman in question.


7 posted on 09/21/2008 11:53:24 AM PDT by Campion
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To: Campion

Okay, I’ll buy that. But the article does talk about the men being involved in the decision, and we all know that in many if not most abortion cases the man implicitly if not explicitly encourages the choice to abort.


8 posted on 09/21/2008 11:55:15 AM PDT by Sherman Logan (qui)
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To: Campion

Still seems to me this is an article of extreme disconnect with reality about who is the victim and who are the perps.


9 posted on 09/21/2008 11:56:20 AM PDT by Sherman Logan (qui)
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To: Sherman Logan

What planet are you on? The man gets no say in the abortion whatsoever. I think you’ve proven your comment on sensitivity without a doubt though.


10 posted on 09/21/2008 11:56:59 AM PDT by DoughtyOne (McCain, the Ipecac president... Obama the strychnine president...)
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To: wagglebee

The APA diminishes the science behind psychology by pushing the notion that ANYTHING is healthy normal if accepted by society by fiat.

The APA needs to be regulated out of existence.


11 posted on 09/21/2008 11:57:26 AM PDT by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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To: wagglebee

The secrecy of the procedure itself is the biggest obstacle to the truth of the evil being known. A girl in our community committed suicide four days after having an abortion. She literally fell into a depression so intense no one could talk to her for the last day of her life.

Naturally, her family didn’t want the story discussed—and so the moral lesson could not be made more plain to a broader public.

Abortion kills more than just the babies.


12 posted on 09/21/2008 11:58:08 AM PDT by farmer18th (I had a brain transplant after college. (The original was ruined.))
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To: Sherman Logan
Isn’t that like the guy who killed his parents and then begged for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan?

No. It isn't like that at all.

13 posted on 09/21/2008 12:00:30 PM PDT by mplsconservative
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To: Sherman Logan

you are looking at it wrong.

what happens when the father finds out his wife or girlfriend had the abortion? he has no legals say.

For the sake of argument, his wife decided his child should die. Or worse.


14 posted on 09/21/2008 12:06:06 PM PDT by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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To: GoLightly

That is certainly a problem in Britain in fact so much that many young teenagers hide the pregancy until it is illegal to abort.


15 posted on 09/21/2008 12:38:21 PM PDT by snugs ((An English Cheney Chick - Big Time))
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To: wagglebee
Over 70 percent of relationships, according to Thorn, break up after an abortion.

********************

Not surprising. Even if there had been any hope for a commitment, this would likely kill it. Some memories, though, can never be banished.

16 posted on 09/21/2008 12:55:27 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: Sherman Logan

Think of it this way - if and as ANY person feels remorse and repentence to the point of wanting to change/do something to stop abortion, as compared to the horrific indifference of death, then any help to vocalize the anguish for guilt as a first step to that end is worth it.


17 posted on 09/21/2008 1:09:53 PM PDT by time4good
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To: wagglebee

Yes, definitely a legitimate problem. May God bless these men with understanding, patience and perseverance in their lives. Let not the actions of the abortionists defile their faith. Amen.


18 posted on 09/21/2008 2:30:18 PM PDT by Salvation ( †With God all things are possible.†)
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To: Sherman Logan
Pray for an end to abortion and the conversion of America to a mindset of life!

19 posted on 09/21/2008 2:32:14 PM PDT by Salvation ( †With God all things are possible.†)
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To: snugs
That is certainly a problem in Britain in fact so much that many young teenagers hide the pregancy until it is illegal to abort.

I think it happens more often than people realize. Know if there's been any studies done in Britain about the issue?

20 posted on 09/21/2008 2:32:31 PM PDT by GoLightly
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To: Sherman Logan; Antoninus

21 posted on 09/21/2008 2:32:39 PM PDT by Salvation ( †With God all things are possible.†)
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To: time4good
Think of it this way - if and as ANY person feels remorse and repentence to the point of wanting to change/do something to stop abortion, as compared to the horrific indifference of death, then any help to vocalize the anguish for guilt as a first step to that end is worth it.

*********************

Absolutely right.

22 posted on 09/21/2008 2:34:54 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: wagglebee

APA refuses to acknowledge the long term psychological effects of abortion,

but declassifies Same Sex Attraction Disorder and soon Pedophilia as mental disorders.

“Mental illness”, when not caused by a chemical problem, is simply the result of not dealing with sin in the right way.


23 posted on 09/21/2008 2:38:40 PM PDT by MrB (0bama supporters: What's the attraction? The Marxism or the Infanticide?)
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To: GoLightly
Not that I know but there may well be some sort of research done even if the findings have not been made public.

I know personally of one such case and have seen TV programs that (although not citing the fact that if the parents had found out they would have forced the child to abort) that have stated that the parents were not aware of the pregnancy until the option of abortion was no longer there.

Sometimes they state that the child was young and in denial so did not confuse to their parents or even visit their doctor to confirm the pregnancy. I tend to think that they knew what the outcome of such an action would be as many parents openly state what they would do if their daughter got pregnant as a teen, march them down to the doctors and get referred for an abortion.

24 posted on 09/21/2008 2:43:36 PM PDT by snugs ((An English Cheney Chick - Big Time))
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To: GoLightly

confess not confuse


25 posted on 09/21/2008 2:44:48 PM PDT by snugs ((An English Cheney Chick - Big Time))
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To: time4good
ANY person feels remorse and repentence to the point of wanting to change/do something to stop abortion, as compared to the horrific indifference of death

I submit that "horrific indifference" is very rare or non-existant.

Either the person feels remorse for the horrific act of infanticide and repents,

or they feel remorse for the wrong act and attempt to kill that sense of remorse through justification and "activism". I know of one person that even went so far as to become an abortionist to justify her "choice".

Every human is wired with the same sense of right and wrong - some just attempt to remove any reminders of their guilt, and justify it until they die.

26 posted on 09/21/2008 2:45:28 PM PDT by MrB (0bama supporters: What's the attraction? The Marxism or the Infanticide?)
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To: GoLightly
Makes me wonder about parents of young women who’ve pressured their daughters into having an abortion.

They didn't want to "punish" their daughters with a baby.

(/Obama)

27 posted on 09/21/2008 2:51:48 PM PDT by usconservative (Palin/McCain 2008)
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To: Sherman Logan
Still seems to me this is an article of extreme disconnect with reality about who is the victim and who are the perps.

Don't forget, we live in a society where children are told to "explore their sexuality" in a "consequence free environment." They're told an abortion is a "medical procedure."

Young people are bombarded with homosexuality and promiscuity.

Later, they feel the natural consequences of their actions. Listen to the testimony of many "Right to Lifers." You'll be shocked at how many had abortions when they were younger...

28 posted on 09/21/2008 2:52:14 PM PDT by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: wagglebee; informavoracious; larose; RJR_fan; Prospero; Conservative Vermont Vet; ...
+

Freep-mail me to get on or off my pro-life and Catholic List:

Add me / Remove me

Please ping me to note-worthy Pro-Life or Catholic threads, or other threads of interest.

Obama Says A Baby Is A Punishment

Obama: “If they make a mistake, I don’t want them punished with a baby.”

29 posted on 09/21/2008 2:53:03 PM PDT by narses (...the spirit of Trent is abroad once more.)
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To: wagglebee

Of course it does. Men go through grief as women do. Terrible law must be put down........


30 posted on 09/21/2008 2:54:54 PM PDT by shield (A wise man's heart is at his RIGHT hand;but a fool's heart at his LEFT. Ecc 10:2)
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To: Sherman Logan

Been there, done that - when I realized I had no choice.

We already had a daughter. My only choice was to agree to the abortion and continue to be part of her life or to lose everything. It was a bit like choosing how I was to be put to death. Perhaps it would have been easier if it had been my own life in the balance. It was the hardest thing I have ever been through and I still dread December 13th.


31 posted on 09/21/2008 2:59:05 PM PDT by oldfart
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To: DoughtyOne

I have had five people,family and friends,who have had abortions,all of them were told by the men in their relationships they didn’t want no baby. One friend was so depressed after the abortion she got pregnant again and her husband was going to leave her,she got another abortion. I found out that a lot of women get pregnant again after an abortion to replace the baby they lost only to get another abortion.


32 posted on 09/21/2008 3:35:27 PM PDT by red irish (Gods Children in the womb are to be loved too!)
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To: red irish
I have had five people,family and friends,who have had abortions,all of them were told by the men in their relationships they didn’t want no baby.  I have no way of knowing what the ratio is, men who object or not.  What I can say is that the woman is the person who ultimately makes the choice.  I can't get a vasectomy unless I have my wife's signature, but she can abort a child without my knowledge.  How about them apples.

I can't get information on my wife's credit accounts without her permission, but if something happens to her I am responsible for them.  That works in reverse too.

One friend was so depressed after the abortion she got pregnant again and her husband was going to leave her,she got another abortion.  Tell you what, if that's all the concern he had for her, she should have kept the baby.  She got rid of the wrong child.

I found out that a lot of women get pregnant again after an abortion to replace the baby they lost only to get another abortion.  That may be true.  I've not been privy to that type of information though.  It does sound rational.

33 posted on 09/21/2008 3:58:39 PM PDT by DoughtyOne (McCain, the Ipecac president... Obama the strychnine president...)
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To: Sherman Logan

I have a friend who’s now-ex-wife aborted their third child behind his back.
On his birthday.


34 posted on 09/21/2008 5:36:00 PM PDT by Excellence (Why do scoundrels like Ayers gravitate to public education when Plan A fails?)
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To: wagglebee
Pinged from Terri Dailies

8mm


35 posted on 09/22/2008 3:48:22 AM PDT by 8mmMauser (Jezu ufam tobie...Jesus I trust in Thee)
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To: Excellence

If you don’t mind me asking, how did he find out?


36 posted on 09/22/2008 5:55:42 AM PDT by DarkSavant
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To: Grizzled Bear
They're told an abortion is a "medical procedure."

Well, it is.

Of course, so is lethal injection and so were Dr. Mengele's experiments...

37 posted on 09/22/2008 2:59:52 PM PDT by Sherman Logan (qui)
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To: longtermmemmory

In cases where the sperm donor was opposed to and tried to talk the sperm recipient out of the abortion, my comments don’t really apply.

Many on this forum have stated that a woman who doesn’t want to have a baby should keep her legs together. And I agree.

I’d like to extend that concept to the man. A man who doesn’t want his child aborted should keep his pants zipped until he’s in a relationship where abortion is not a possibility.

The woman who aborts her child is acting maliciously. The man who carelessly impregnated her without thought for the possible consequences is behaving recklessly.

One is murder, the other reckless manslaughter.


38 posted on 09/22/2008 3:05:36 PM PDT by Sherman Logan (qui)
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To: Sherman Logan

cute answer but it does not change the fact that the thread is based on the FACT that people DO have an unavoidable psychological issue to deal with.

all you say may be valid, but the net result is a problem that was dealt with in a catastrophic consequence manner.


39 posted on 09/22/2008 6:35:22 PM PDT by longtermmemmory (VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
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