Posted on 12/01/2008 6:58:51 AM PST by Dysart
SAN ANTONIO — Mary Dague hears the catty whispers sometimes. "So ugly," the strangers say when they think she can’t hear.
The 24-year-old has bright green eyes, a quick smile, and on the days she gets her husband’s help, perfectly applied mascara and blush.
But all the gawkers really see are her arms, each amputated above the elbow.
What they don’t suppose — with no fatigues or standard-issue Army T-shirt to clue them in — is that this chatty young woman, who likes to wear a little black dress to fancy parties as much as the next girl, is an Army sergeant whose arms were blown off as she dismantled a bomb in Iraq. She was awarded a Purple Heart.
In uniform, she’s often recognized as a wounded veteran and thanked for her service. Out of uniform, she pretends not to hear the careless whispers.
"At first, it kind of hurts, and then, it makes you sad," she said.
Sad not for herself, but for those she sees wasting their youth and opportunities.
"I’m 24, and I feel like I’ve lived a full, happy life already," she said.
It’s a life forever marred by an accident that has made even the simplest task a struggle, and rehabilitation is slow. But she’s eagerly looking beyond it, to the day she gets a sophisticated prosthetic arm, and beyond that, to a time when she’s self-sufficient.
Women warriors...
(Excerpt) Read more at star-telegram.com ...
“Is a culture that cowers behind the skirts of daughters, wives, and mothers, worthy of survival? As R. A. Heinlein pointed out in his speech to a graduating class at Annapolis, Women and Children First, a civilized order protects its future. Our willingness to risk those emblems of hope is a damning indictment on America.”
An excellent observation.
“You are a dope.
She enlisted.
No one is forcing you or yours to enlist so don’t disparage those who do.”
I have to jump in and defend laweeks here. First, let me say that I don’t agree with his opinion that women should not be allowed in dangerous situations. Some women are very good at performing these types of duties, and this is what many of them want to do. However, I don’t think he was disparaging her at all, he just doesn’t agree with the policy that allows her to be placed in dangerous or combat type situations.
A few weeks ago we were in Target and I saw a young woman in shorts with an artificial leg. I wanted to ask, but I didn’t. It could have been from anything, I suppose. Though I hate to think that it might have been a war wound, and I didn’t thank her for her service.
There is a huge difference between volunteering and being ordered into danger.
She volunteered to join the military and again to go into this most dangerous line of work.
I can pretty well guarantee that the military doesn’t routinely order women into the most dangerous roles.
Somehow, this wording doesn't ring true to me.
I can hear people using the terms sad, horrifying, disgusting, etc. Somehow "ugly" doesn't seem to fit.
I suspect most people feel sad for her, more than anything else. Most people don't know how to react to a sudden sight like this.
“Both male and female have volunteered for the skills that they are in; and are quite competent in what they do. Can all women do it—nope; but then neither can many men.”
Exactly.
We had females in my unit in Germany, and yeah there were a few drama queens who whined about every little thing, but the majority were dedicated professionals who didn’t mind getting dirty doing some tough jobs.
“Can’t imagine why women are anywhere near the front lines or are put in such dangerous situations”
Recently there was a TV program on PBS about a group of female soldiers called Team Lioness. It was an hour and a half long and clearly explained why our soldiers have been put in harm’s way. The program was called “Independent Lens”. It is worth seeing.
In brief, the women are needed to search the Iraqi women - and our men CANNOT do that. To learn more, you can search by “Team Lioness”. I hope you will.
“I can pretty well guarantee that the military doesn’t routinely order women into the most dangerous roles.”
Definitely agree with you, my main point was in defending poster #2. I thought he was being unfairly blamed for disparaging the injured soldier when he actually honored her service. He was really just questioning the policy that allows women to be put in danger.
Funny you should mention SD; I met a girl from that area during my travels not too long ago who was in Special Operations, Major/Recently promoted Colonel, don’t recall. Anyway, she enthusiastically jumped out of planes (and she couldn’t fathom why this did not appeal to me lol) and served in Iraq and Afghanistan as well. Communications oriented activities was all I ever learned. She was fond of telling me she’d have to kill me if I kept plying her for detailed info about her missions...pretty sure she meant it. She had my full respect, I can tell you that. It goes without saying but the young lady from this article has my complete admiration, which is why I posted the story. I don’t like seeing disabled Vets of any sex but know that despite preconceived notions we may hold, many Military women are made of seriously steely stuff.
Wounded Warrior Ping!
I guess I would have done something different.
I would have up and asked - my “OIF Veteran” baseball cap identifies me - and if she told me yes it was from wartime, I would have told her, “Welcome home, sister”.
Thanks for the visual. She does indeed look sweet, insomuch as you’re not on the business end of her military issued firearm. ;)
“the poor thing is a victim of our politically correct, mind engineering, new military”
Crap.
And by the way, a lot of women don’t feel the need to hide behind a man and be defended. And we aren’t PC, feminazis or dykes either. And I don’t guess it occurs to some that women just might actually WANT to fight for their country.
She volunteered to fight for her country- and she made a great sacrifice in doing so. She is not to be pitied or belittled in any way. We should salute her and we owe her our Thanks for her service and any care she may need to adapt to her new life. She is a soldier, as she wanted to be. What she did is not “disgusting” she served her country with honor, and so now we should honor her service.
Oh you would be surprised how stupid some people are- my hubby was blown up by a mine in Vietnam and he lost an arm. I have heard some pretty aweful things said about it behind his back over the years. Some people are so shallow that they can’t handle any sort of disfiguration in another person and will either react in pity- which pi$$es him off to the max; or they will make rude comments.
I have a feeling she will make it just fine- she has the right attitude. I admire her- not sure I could handle it so well if it were me.
With all due respect, I hope your husband realizes that most people, definitely including myself, don’t know the proper way to respond to someone in such a situation. Awkward responses are likely to be ignorance, not malice.
Perhaps you can can help. Is it better to ignore the obvious? Ask about it?
Very classy.
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