When A Woman Isn't In The Mood: Part I (Dennis Prager On Why Sex Is So Important To A Man Alert)

Townhall.com ^ | 12/23/2008 | Dennis Prager

[ottbmare]

Mr. Prager should grow up. ...He makes married sex sound like something that is a given, paid for one time on the wedding day. Worse, he seems to make a threat: if you don’t . . . Sex shouldn’t be a threat, a weapon, or relegated to a bodily function. Another thing, sex wakes us up — just the opposite of a man’s reaction, again. Quite a bit of this “need” is conditioning, btw.

So when did you get divorced?

[tet68]

oral sex its time to renew my drivers license.

They have five year licenses in your state too?

[grey_whiskers]

Yes, and winding the big grandfather clock on the staircase landing ? /Tristram Shandy>

[Prokopton]

Women don’t necessarily “deny” their husbands sex. He makes married sex sound like something that is a given, paid for one time on the wedding day. Worse, he seems to make a threat: if you don’t . . . Sex shouldn’t be a threat, a weapon, or relegated to a bodily function.

Remember that if you want to change a woman’s mood, you should talk to her or get her to talk to you.

This exact sentiment has ultimately ended many marriages. If women would honestly tell men that "look, after we get married you will have to constrain your daily sexual desires and be satisfied with how many, or few, times I am in the mood", fewer men would be duped and fewer marriages would be "on the rocks".

[Chinstrap61a]

As a fine old Gunnery Sergeant of my acquaintance once said:

"You have Summer in your hair and Winter in your eyes, but if you don't get some Spring in your butt, baby, it's over the Falls for you"

Semper Fi

[Caramelgal]

Nor anywhere else. Ever. I am tired of being told that women don't have sex drives.

So true. A woman, unless she has some psychological or physical problem, does have a sex drive. While we are wired differently from men, we women think about it, fantasize about it, desire it and look forward to it. We want sex and we want great toe curling orgasms and we want to give the same to our husbands. We just don’t what to be treated like some blowup doll, an inanimate object or some “me soooo hoooorney, love you long time” whore, ready to go at a moment’s notice just because our man as a sudden urge.

There have been times when I was in no condition to have relations with my wife. But I have to tell you, I was driven to anyway. It baffles me to hear women talk about the deed as if it were a chore.

I’m not sure what you mean by “in no condition” but let me surmise a bit here, not that I’m saying this necessarily describes you ; ),. But were you ever (or any of you other guys here, and be honest about it), drunk, hung over, smelly, with bad breath, too tired or incapacitated for any foreplay or afterplay, stopping her in the middle of whatever she happened to be doing at the time and just jumping on her bones doing the deed only to fulfill your needs, then rolling off with out any thoughts of her needs, immediately falling asleep while she gets up and goes back to house work and cooking your meal while you lay there snoring in selfish post-coital bliss?

In a scenario like that it would baffle me not to hear a woman talking about the deed as if it were a chore.

Get a clue guys. It’s not always about you.

I do understand and sympathize with those men whose wives withhold sex. In the case of my nearly 20 year marriage however, it was not me but my husband who had a low and nearly non-existent libido. Believe me it was emotionally painful, frustrating and sometimes humiliating to be constantly rejected except on the rare occasions he was in the mood and it was a contributing factor in our divorce and so I do understand the importance of marital intimacy.

But I find it disturbing that so many men apparently see their wives as nothing more than an orifice in the waiting for their needs alone. With attitudes like that, some of you guys shouldn’t really be all that surprised that she isn’t all that interested anymore.

[Michael Barnes]

i’d like to buy whoever wrote this a steak dinner

Get 'em a gift certificate (NSFW)

[Oratam]

President and Mrs. Coolidge were being given a tour of a modern poultry farm. During the tour, the farmer explained to the President and First Lady that the farm's rooster performed his duty several dozen times a day.

This impressed the First Lady who remarked to the farmer "Perhaps you could point that fact out to Mr. Coolidge."

The President, on hearing this, looked to the farmer and said simply, "Same hen?"

"No, of course, not," The farmer explained. "The rooster services hundreds of hens."

"Perhaps you could point that out to Mrs. Coolidge," replied the President.

[southernerwithanattitude]

Marking for my wife to read. ha ha

[central_va]

I use this to my advantage. To get my wife to leave me alone and let me do what I want, all I have to do is initiate sex. She rejects me and I get to do what I want. Every now and then she complies :)

When a women rejects you just tell her "Just checkin'" and go about your business.

[central_va]

We just don’t what to be treated like some blowup doll, an inanimate object or some “me soooo hoooorney, love you long time” whore, ready to go at a moment’s notice just because our man as a sudden urge.

If women would wear a yellow construction helmet with a flashing green light on it when it's "time". That would help.

[Graymatter]

And it is true beyond anything she can imagine.

Verily.
I was given similar advice by my mother-in-law when I married. Unfortunately, I thought everything she knew was as anecdotal as her chicken soup recipe. I didn't really understand until I was 40. Despite the libertine era and all the reading and all the listening, no one was conveying this very basic and significant information.

[Judith Anne]

6. Then there’s the woman who knows that if her husband truly wanted sex, he’d have taken out the trash and helped with the dishes.

I laughed out loud when I read that. When my husband used to approach me as I was housecleaning (he thought it was sexy) I'd say, "I can't wait! The minute the trash is out, the bathroom is clean, and the dishwasher is empty, I'm going to get naked!" and I'd start cleaning faster. He NEVER FAILED to help me! It was wonderful.

Another time, when we were thinking about getting married, he used to whisper, "I love you" and I felt insecure. I told him, "If you loved me, you'd shout it out!" So he did. "LISTEN AMERICA! I LOVE JUDITH ANNE!" he yelled in a restaurant parking lot after dinner one evening....

We had a lot of laughs, and a lot of love. 36 years, and boy, do I miss him...

[Tax-chick]

Does, “I need to drain my prostate on a regular basis,” work well at attracting women?

[snarks_when_bored]

Nice reference. You know, I never finished that damn book...I’m putting that on my list...when I remember where I put my list...

[Tax-chick]

In a scenario like that it would baffle me not to hear a woman talking about the deed as if it were a chore.

"At least he finished his business before the fabric softener need to go in the rinse cycle."

It astonishes me that men (here) think saying, "But I *need* to go to the bathroom!" is going to inspire women to service them.

[Vaduz]

Some times nature requires a bone to be cracked to remove the stress.

[Rebelbase]

"Remember that if you want to change a woman’s mood, you should talk to her or get her to talk to you tell her to go shopping."

[central_va]

It astonishes me that men (here) think saying, "But I *need* to go to the bathroom!" is going to inspire women to service them.

Please re-read this article, you missed the point entirely.

[ken5050]

Bingo!..excellent points...

There's a BIG difference, IMHO, between "having sex" and "making love" which the usually prescient Mr. Praeger seems to have failed to realize in this piece.

"Having sex" even with your wife..involves self gratification, release..which men can normally achieve sooner...hey, Americans invented the "quickie," right? ..and even with your wife, she'll usually be accomodating. "Making love" means that your primary concern/objective is pleasing your partner..that's what gives you the great pleasure in the act..and it always takes TWO in the mood to make love...