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EPA Seeks To Have Water Vapor Classified As A Pollutant
Ecoenquirer ^

Posted on 01/05/2009 8:56:31 AM PST by big black dog

This jet condensation trail seen at sunset will gradually evaporate, increasing the water vapor content of the atmosphere. Since a wide variety of human activities produce water vapor, the Earth's main greenhouse gas, the Environmental Protection Agency is seeking to have it designated as a pollutant.

(Washington, DC) The Environmental Protection Agency is seeking to classify water vapor as a pollutant, due to its central role in global warming. Because water vapor is the dominant greenhouse gas in the atmosphere, accounting for at least 90% of the Earth's natural greenhouse effect, its emission during many human activities, such as the burning of fuels, is coming under increasing scrutiny by federal regulators.

Until now, the carbon dioxide produced during the burning of fuels has been the main concern. The extra carbon dioxide causes a manmade enhancement of the greenhouse effect. But water vapor is also produced by combustion of most fuels, as well as by industry and utilities that use water for cooling. The EPA would be able to regulate its manmade sources if it is classified as a pollutant.

EPA Director of the Department of Pollutant Decrees, Ray Donaldson, said, "Back before carbon dioxide was dangerous, we simply assumed that water vapor was also benign. But all reputable scientists now agree that the increased water vapor content of the atmosphere from such sources as burning of fuels and power plant cooling towers will also enhance the greenhouse effect, leading to potentially catastrophic warming."

If successful, the push to classify water vapor as a dangerous pollutant would impact virtually everyone. For instance, homeowners could see a wide variety of common activities that cause evaporation being regulated: watering the lawn, or using a hot tub or swimming pool.

"Right now, we are not so concerned about the water vapor exhaled by people. That is low on our list of priorities", said Mr. Donaldson. "We'll tackle that manmade source at a later time." One likely result of such regulation would be an additional tax on fuels used by cars, trucks, passenger jets, and a wide variety of industries and utilities.

Predictably, the Bush Administration has voiced opposition to any regulation of water vapor emissions. White House staffer Lew Moninsky told ecoEnquirer, "This is simply ridiculous. The EPA wants to regulate all human activity out of existence. What about the massive amounts of water vapor being evaporated from the world's oceans every second? That's OK?, but human production of small amounts of vapor isn't? If it weren't for water vapor, there would be no rainfall! Give me a break!"

"Well, of course the Administration would say that…", said Mr. Donaldson, "..they're in the pocket of 'big oil' anyway."

The EPA is rumored to have a rather extensive list of potential pollutants in addition to water vapor, and some insiders claim that all known chemical compounds are targeted for future regulation. When informed of the rumored list of chemicals, Mr. Moninsky asked, "Well, since everything is made of chemicals, I guess that means that even every molecule of your body will be subject to regulation as well, doesn't it?"

Asked for their position on the matter, Greenpolice spokesperson Rainbow Treetower stated, "Our basic policy is, if it's good for people, it's bad for the planet."


TOPICS: Government
KEYWORDS: epa; humor; satire

1 posted on 01/05/2009 8:56:32 AM PST by big black dog
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To: big black dog

Satire....right?


2 posted on 01/05/2009 8:59:03 AM PST by SumProVita (Cogito, ergo...Sum Pro Vita. (Modified DeCartes))
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To: big black dog

Well that’s the end of Hydrogen cars!


3 posted on 01/05/2009 8:59:10 AM PST by Red_Devil 232 (VietVet - USMC All Ready On The Right? All Ready On The Left? All Ready On The Firing Line!)
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To: big black dog
White House staffer Lew Moninsky

You've got to be kidding.

4 posted on 01/05/2009 9:00:17 AM PST by Izzy Dunne (Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
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To: SumProVita

Oh no, it’s that devastating, ever harmful, Di-Hydrogen Oxide


5 posted on 01/05/2009 9:01:23 AM PST by Cyclone59
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To: SumProVita

If it’s not, just shoot me.


6 posted on 01/05/2009 9:02:35 AM PST by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: Red_Devil 232

San Francisco will have to be arrested next time fog rolls in.


7 posted on 01/05/2009 9:02:50 AM PST by Cyclone59
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To: big black dog
Finally!

A long awaited ban on dihydrogen monoxide!

It's gotten into everything.

Its lasting effects will plague the planet for millenia.

We are so doomed!

8 posted on 01/05/2009 9:03:21 AM PST by N. Theknow (Kennedys: Can't fly, can't ski, can't drive, can't skipper a boat. But they know what's best.)
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To: Cyclone59
This has got to be a joke. Water vapor in the atmosphere is self-regulating: when there is too much of it, it rains.

Just... wow.

9 posted on 01/05/2009 9:05:25 AM PST by Zeddicus
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To: Cyclone59

They should look up “Water Cycle” in a Grammer School science book. You know what causes water vapor? Evaporating water. Prevent the water from evaporating! FREEZE THE EARTH TO SAVE IT FROM WARMING! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!


10 posted on 01/05/2009 9:05:55 AM PST by massgopguy (I owe everything to George Bailey)
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To: big black dog

Finally we get the DHM ban we have been lobbying for since the 80s. DHM is found in one hundred percent of tumors, and it’s so fatally addictive that addicts die after three days without DHM.


11 posted on 01/05/2009 9:06:27 AM PST by mysterio
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To: big black dog

Wouldn’t doubt this a bit. These rotten nitwits have too much time on their hands and combine that with the wisdom of a piss ant, we are going to he!!, so like a rock dropped in a bottomless pit. Where is this garbage coming from?


12 posted on 01/05/2009 9:07:47 AM PST by Logical me (Oh, well!!!)
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To: big black dog

They used to lock up people like this in asylums


13 posted on 01/05/2009 9:08:12 AM PST by clamper1797 (I pledge to give the Obamanation the same level of support that the liberals gave GWB)
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To: big black dog
I suspect jet contrails are minor in their water vapor output compared to all the water cooling towers used in power plants and cooling units in many industrial plants.


14 posted on 01/05/2009 9:08:26 AM PST by thackney (life is fragile, handle with prayer)
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To: SumProVita

Yes, it is satire. And it needs to be posted as satire! I do not have time to glean out the real from the unreal in order to make sure that I am quoting a reliable source!


15 posted on 01/05/2009 9:10:08 AM PST by the_Watchman
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To: big black dog

I guess they’ll outlaw rain next?


16 posted on 01/05/2009 9:11:22 AM PST by RC2
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To: big black dog

Classifying it as a pollutant will allow the EPA to tax those who do the polluting.

Its just part and parcel of the Greenhouse, Cap and Trade, Carbon Credit,Global warming scam that will totally destroy the economic status of an growing country.

Is anyone else getting tired of the endless ways these people are coming up with to steal money? Al Gore and the other idiots tied into this scam need to be run from the country.


17 posted on 01/05/2009 9:11:43 AM PST by Venturer
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To: SumProVita

Click on the link at the top. It’s a joke.
There are lots of other funny stories.


18 posted on 01/05/2009 9:11:56 AM PST by Senormechanico
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To: big black dog
I invented a stillsuit, like the one Herbert mentioned in Dune, that will capture all emissions from people, even water. The water goes into a container for future use.

I'm going to lobby for these regulations, since I stand to make a billion or so on licensing fees if my suit is mandatory.

I also have an idea to use arachidnic acid to create a molecule-thin layer over salt water to prevent evaporation. This will save the planet from a runaway greenhouse state caused by water vapor. J. G. Ballard wrote about this, but in his novel it was not deliberate.

19 posted on 01/05/2009 9:14:36 AM PST by DBrow
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To: SumProVita
Not at all...

http://www.ecoenquirer.com/Terms-Conditions.htm

Well... ok. Maybe a bit. ;-)

20 posted on 01/05/2009 9:18:02 AM PST by Dead Corpse (What would a free man do?)
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To: big black dog

“Government is the problem.” Best line ever.


21 posted on 01/05/2009 9:19:27 AM PST by LoneRangerMassachusetts
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To: N. Theknow

“A long awaited ban on dihydrogen monoxide”

I take it you signed the petition? haha


22 posted on 01/05/2009 9:20:40 AM PST by autumnraine
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To: SumProVita
Satire....right?

Well...yes...but

It works because there's more than a hint of plausability about it.

23 posted on 01/05/2009 9:26:42 AM PST by big black dog
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To: big black dog

The fact that it’s even slightly plausible is a very sad commentary on our times.


24 posted on 01/05/2009 9:28:49 AM PST by SumProVita (Cogito, ergo...Sum Pro Vita. (Modified DeCartes))
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To: SumProVita
Satire....right?

Please.....

25 posted on 01/05/2009 9:30:37 AM PST by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: big black dog
EPA Seeks To Have Water Vapor Classified As A Pollutant

Next, we'll have to classify the atmosphere as dangerous to all life on earth because, it is the carrier of all air-borne pollutants and viruses and microbes.
26 posted on 01/05/2009 9:30:54 AM PST by adorno
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To: big black dog; Tolerance Sucks Rocks; bamahead

These guys are behind the curve. They haven’t heard yet that global warming isn’t really an issue after all.

Especially at the rate this winter is going.

What are they going to do? Sue God? Tax the planet?

Imbeciles.


27 posted on 01/05/2009 9:33:04 AM PST by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: big black dog

How can any group of people hate mankind sooo much? They should be *************!


28 posted on 01/05/2009 9:34:25 AM PST by dbacks (God help the USA.)
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To: clamper1797
They used to lock up people like this in asylums

Now they just qualify for government jobs.

29 posted on 01/05/2009 9:34:30 AM PST by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: thackney
I suspect jet contrails are minor in their water vapor output compared to all the water cooling towers used in power plants and cooling units in many industrial plants.

Just a nit pick: if you can see it, it isn't water vapor, it's a man-made cloud which has very different properties: global cooling for one. Rainfall is significantly higher 20 miles downwind of heat islands like cities and power plants from man-made clouds.

30 posted on 01/05/2009 9:36:16 AM PST by Reeses (Leftism is powered by the evil force of envy.)
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To: big black dog

This is a Nazi cabinet post.


31 posted on 01/05/2009 9:37:03 AM PST by boomop1
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To: big black dog

Oh, well, there goes my tea kettle.

/ sarcasm


32 posted on 01/05/2009 9:41:35 AM PST by Darnright (A penny saved is a government oversight)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks; bamahead

Satire should not be so close to reality.

Problem is, I could see them reading that piece and thinking it was a great idea.

It’s a sad state of affairs when it gets to that point.....


33 posted on 01/05/2009 9:43:24 AM PST by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: metmom

No. The hired out the research to AIG.


34 posted on 01/05/2009 9:57:08 AM PST by DevNet (!dimensio || !solitron)
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To: big black dog

Yes, this article was satire, today... Tomorrow?

You know, I could take the global warming/climate change religion a bit more seriously if any of the proposed solutions were something other than a socialist wet dream.

If Socialism, Marxism, Communism or One World Government is our only hope, screw it, we don’t deserve to survive.


35 posted on 01/05/2009 10:07:46 AM PST by EasySt ( Fold Here! Fold Now! (Free Republic Folders)
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To: big black dog

oh dear God!


36 posted on 01/05/2009 10:10:03 AM PST by CPT Clay (Drill ANWR, Personal Accounts NOW ,)
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To: big black dog
Almost bought this until the quote from "Rainbow Treetower".

Close. Very Close.

I would add, however, that one should not give eco-idiot-bureaucrats any ideas.

37 posted on 01/05/2009 10:49:09 AM PST by wbill
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To: EasySt
Yes, this article was satire, today... Tomorrow?

True, True. Just think that 50 years ago most of todays headlines (Gay Marriage, Hate Crimes, Global Warming) would have been considered "satire".

"You mean that politicians think that they can control the weather? Hyuk hyuk hyuk! And, those two homosexuals down the street want to get married? HAR HAR har har har har..... Now THAT'S a good one. What's next? Battery powered cars?"

38 posted on 01/05/2009 10:53:52 AM PST by wbill
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To: thackney

Just look at all those polluting cooling towers! Which is what I thought the new “regulations” were going to be about until I realized it was satirical.


39 posted on 01/05/2009 10:56:49 AM PST by citizen (Fascism: All persons, capital & activities exist to support the will & best interests of the State.)
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To: Red_Devil 232

And sunlight on the ocean. And sweating. And breathing.


40 posted on 01/05/2009 11:17:04 AM PST by NewJerseyJoe (Rat mantra: "Facts are meaningless! You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!")
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To: big black dog
The really sad thing about this is, is that for a minute there I actually entertained the thought that the Enviro-fascists in Washington had finally gone completely barking mad and were actually going to do this. Its gotten to the point where you just can't put anything past them anymore. Just when you think that you've seen the full breadth and depth of their Libtard idiocy they do something even stupider.
41 posted on 01/05/2009 11:32:59 AM PST by Desron13 (If you constantly vote between the lesser of two evils then evil is your ultimate destination.)
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To: Logical me

Where is this garbage coming from?”

From 40+++ years of Liberal teachers poisoning the minds of your kids- your great-grand kids— and all of your neighbor’s kids.


42 posted on 01/05/2009 12:00:36 PM PST by ridesthemiles
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To: Desron13

They did it to CO2 in the whole manmade global warming debacle. Look at the carbon tax that obama was ready to impose on us all over something that turned out to be nothing.

With the idiocy that the government displays, along with it’s insatiable appetite for money from taxes, it’s all too plausible.


43 posted on 01/05/2009 12:02:59 PM PST by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: big black dog; CygnusXI; Entrepreneur; Defendingliberty; WL-law; Genesis defender; proud_yank; ...

 


Beam me to Planet Gore !

44 posted on 01/05/2009 1:52:47 PM PST by steelyourfaith
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To: thackney

Right. Cause it’s not millions of tons of water evaporate from every lake, pond, river and ocean on the planet.

PS

You also need to quit breathing since every breath you exhale is saturated with water vapor....


45 posted on 01/05/2009 1:56:35 PM PST by Kozak (USA 7/4/1776 to 1/20/2009 Requiescat In Pace)
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To: big black dog
If successful, the push to classify water vapor as a dangerous pollutant would impact virtually everyone. For instance, homeowners could see a wide variety of common activities that cause evaporation being regulated: watering the lawn, or using a hot tub or swimming pool.

or... farming.

46 posted on 01/05/2009 4:24:40 PM PST by TenthAmendmentChampion (Be prepared for tough times. FReepmail me to learn about our new survival thread!)
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To: big black dog

OK you got me, bbd.

Note to self, read the keywords or the source article first...


47 posted on 01/05/2009 4:26:15 PM PST by TenthAmendmentChampion (Be prepared for tough times. FReepmail me to learn about our new survival thread!)
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To: thackney; steelyourfaith

They've outdone themselves this time. I honestly didn't think they (globull warming nuts) could get any crazier, but they've done it many times over!

48 posted on 01/05/2009 9:53:29 PM PST by rdl6989
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To: metmom; Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Problem is, I could see them reading that piece and thinking it was a great idea.

It’s a sad state of affairs when it gets to that point.....


We're practically already there...

Banning DiHydrogen Monoxide - Penn and Teller

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yi3erdgVVTw
49 posted on 01/06/2009 6:47:45 AM PST by bamahead (Few men desire liberty; most men wish only for a just master. -- Sallust)
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