Posted on 01/07/2009 6:41:53 AM PST by GeorgiaDawg32
(Washington, D.C., 1/8/09) In a statement to be released tomorrow, the incoming administration of President-Elect Barack Obama has promised government intervention in the worldwide web by the creation of a U.S. mandated operating system to be named “Barix 1.0" which will, by government decree, replace Windows, MAC and Linux among a few, plus a plethora of browsers such as Firefox and Internet Explorer."
“The esteemed, highly decorated and patriotic Senator Kerry once said, “You can’t professionalize unless you federalize” when talking about the creation of the TSA. The creation of this professionally prepared, foolproof government created operating system will be as efficiently handled as other government programs. We expect it to be rolled out on schedule in 2010, and hopefully under the $712.8B budget currently being allocated.”
“The free market and privately/publicly owned companies have failed miserably to limit unacceptable content. Access on Barix 1.0 will be granted to mainstream sites such as ABC.com, CBS.com, MSNBC.com, the HuffPo and DU, but in order to visit sites of questionable origin such as FOX, Drudge, Rush, Boortz and so on, permission will be required from the government. A simple request form of only 127 pages of single spaced questions (plus additional blank pages to explain some answers), plus your addition into a government database, plus a complete background check and access to your financial records will enhance, though not guarantee, the slim chance you’ll be able to read these sites, provided they’re still online once we complete the purge.”
Developing..
Well, it’s offical, there is going to be civil war over this and quite possibly serious international intervention.
Before anyone says the Chinese are thrilled, remember that they do not take kindly to someone interfering in their way fo doing this. Obama thinks to make this mandatory throughout the world and that won’t go over well with leaders who do not want to be monitored or bullied into changing their entire electronic infrastructure to please a junior senator President-Elect from Chicago.
How long until we get involved in a nasty international skirmish over this?
I just realized this was satire.
Sorry.
A Govt OS...Malware pre-included;)
bookmark
Social Security,Illegal Immigration,Tax System,Trillion Dollar deficits,Fanny and Freddie,Welfare,Voting System( you know where someone else determines what your vote meant)Acorn,...to name just a few foolproof operating systems
No need to apologize, it probably should have been posted in chat or said satire in the header. It’s wrong to post junk like this in news. jmo
If federally developed this OS will consist of a permanent home page with O wallpaper and most keys cept “yes ir” will be dropped but the big calculator will have unlimited 0 options. There will be a constant call to prayer and a bug to pick up any conversations within 30 feet that will be monitored by NSA.
I propose a (satire) post much like the (vanity)post be required when posting an article from such sites....we all can't be familiar with all sites who put this stuff out, but FReepers should, when posting, alert others.....
"The esteemed, highly decorated and patriotic Senator Kerry " LOL LOL
Anyone know if the Obama team has started organizing their Gestapo? Brown shirts already organized.
besides being posted in “humor” with a keyword of “satire”, I had to put something in there to give it away..:)
It's already organized, he is bringing in all the crooks & thugs from Crook County in Chicago!!!
Wonder which Liberal architect he’ll use for his re-education camps?
Who the heck is awake enough to read “keywords”? Not me!!!!( I’m a member of the pajama gang, not a morning person! ) LOL
Let’s just say that .gov really did decide to develop an OS to replace the most popular ones now commonly used: it would never get rolled out.
First of all, the contract could only be awarded to unionized software developers and as long as .gov funded the project the developers would just keep on developing. A 22 year old starting the project at it’s inception could look forward to retirement on the project.
Second, the OS would, based on political correctness, have to be dumbed down to the point that the most illiterate retard could use it without any loss of self esteem.
Third, egotistical bureaucrats would endlessly bicker over features that would enhance their personal careers.
Fourth, every lobbyist and major political donor would insist on a feature or application specifically for the group that they represent.
Fifth, after 20 years of development and numerous administrative and departmental personnel changes, the code would be pure spaghetti that would be scrapped because nobody knows how in the hell to continue development.
And on and on.......................
The esteemed & highly qualified, very LEFT Sen. Dick "Turban" from Ill-Annoy!
Whenever you attempt to go to a “bad” site, such as freerepublic.com or rushlimbaugh.com, the request is redirected and a Flash movie of Nancy Pelosi or other professional nanny is played nagging you to something for your own good.
I’ve seen previews. It’s an extreme close up. It’s pretty scary.
Me? I enjoy watching people who don’t read the whole article get caught. The last paragraph made the satire abundantly clear!
Exactly! The text is so small for the keywords, that I seldom read them. Doesn't change the fact that satire doesn't belong in news, anyway.
(Besides... you should never use commercial software before v.2.1 anyways)
[/sarc]
Meanwhile, Liberal Jews are clueless again! As a Conservative Republican Jew, I can say that as I listen and watch their stupidity with revulsion.
Totally, good enough to be in Scrappleface or the People’s Cube.
On the other hand, I wouldn’t doubt that Harry and Nancy are working on a press conference to take credit for the idea. The next couple of years will be excellent fun if you aren’t into outcomes.
What the heck is this idiot doing? He’s even named a an operating system after himself. This is sick, sick and sick.
I hope the Supreme Court is paying attention to what’s coming because they won’t have any say in any matter before long.
Gosh, I thought it was for real.
This is like satire the way mugging is like hugging.
It isn't post in humor. It's posted in news. See the address url?
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2160220/posts
Do you see humor in there anywhere? No. NEWS.
You just called it humor (topic) but posted it in news.
Today's satire is tomorrow's reality...
Its kinda sad you did not realize it right away ;)
How long have we had “one-touch” cameras (”So advanced, it’s simple!”)? Why can’t we have calculators with just an equals button?
Yes it is because the way things are going it is totally believable.
Awe man...you almost gave me a heart attack. You need to have some mercy on us old folk. It finally occurred to me to check the source, and fortunately, I happened to know that the source produces satire. Whew....Too close to real.
But I'm a techie, and I'm naturally skeptical...
LOL!
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