One in ten men could be victims of paternity fraud. I'm fighting for them ...not the money

“The Family itself has become a vehicle of cavalier convenience, to be rent asunder at whim.....and much of the corruption is not only supported by but encouraged by The State,”

I believe at the heart of this is “no-fault” divorce. Talk about an institution that primarily victimizes men. A lot of people don’t even understand what “no-fault” divorce is, until it happens to them. Many think it means that the divorce is mutually agreed upon by both husband and wife. However, 80% of “no-fault” divorces are unilateral. And if one wants out, no matter how much the other wants to save the marriage, there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it.

And if the wife has been unfaithful and then files for divorce, if the husbands still wanted to preserve the marriage because he took the marriage vows seriously, including the “bad” as in “in good times and in bad,” too bad. He can’t prevent his wife from doing so. And if the couple have children, even though she was the unfaithful, abandoning spouse, HE will most likely get hit with a child support payment, often times impoverishing him. Also, a woman’s infidelity will have no impact on custody issues. She will often still be the custodial parent, and the poor dad will get to see his kids every other weekend, maybe a couple hours one evening during the week, and a few weeks in the summer.

One of the biggest injustices against men (and a much smaller percentage of women) of our time.

DNA testing in our PC world would probably be like AIDS testing. The only person that would be told would be the mother, and it would be up to her as to whether she shared that information with anyone else.

I have 4 kids that I love very much and an X-wife that cheated on me. If I go to the grave without knowing my kids are mine, that is alright with me.

WRONG! I married a Christian upstanding man. I divorced a drunken adulterer. He shot my dogs, I raised his Down Syndrome/Autistic daughter. Care to point out MY fault? He married his “fling” and they are angrily drunk together.

SOME women seem to see nothing wrong with the ex husband being forced to pay for a child that is not his. The child is the result of an affair and the husband had no hand in it. The child isn’t his. Why should he be required to pay? The boyfriend did the deed, why isn’t he required to pay?

Would a wife be upset if her husband brought his illegitimate child into the family home and expected her to raise it?

I guess that is different.

Of course it is different. There is no way he could fool her into thinking the illegitimate child is hers. Only an adulterous, deceitful wife could possibly pull off this kind of deception.

In the article the father says he still loves his daughters and is trying to maintain his relationship with them.

Then he should have sucked it up and kept his mouth shut. What's a little money already spent against the love of one's children, be they biologically "yours" or not?

Agreed.

It takes two to succeed but only one to fail.

Then he should have sucked it up and kept his mouth shut. What's a little money already spent against the love of one's children, be they biologically "yours" or not?

There are other men in this situation. Since you feel so strongly, why not open your wallet and pay them the settlement? If that seems unjust for you to pay for what the cheating wife did, then consider what you are asking these men to do.

Note that it is the wife/mother who is using the children in this.

“The Family itself has become a vehicle of cavalier convenience, to be rent asunder at whim.....and much of the corruption is not only supported by but encouraged by The State,”

I believe at the heart of this is “no-fault” divorce. Talk about an institution that primarily victimizes men. A lot of people don’t even understand what “no-fault” divorce is, until it happens to them. Many think it means that the divorce is mutually agreed upon by both husband and wife. However, 80% of “no-fault” divorces are unilateral. And if one wants out, no matter how much the other wants to save the marriage, there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it.

And if the wife has been unfaithful and then files for divorce, if the husbands still wanted to preserve the marriage because he took the marriage vows seriously, including the “bad” as in “in good times and in bad,” too bad. He can’t prevent his wife from doing so. And if the couple have children, even though she was the unfaithful, abandoning spouse, HE will most likely get hit with a child support payment, often times impoverishing him. Also, a woman’s infidelity will have no impact on custody issues. She will often still be the custodial parent, and the poor dad will get to see his kids every other weekend, maybe a couple hours one evening during the week, and a few weeks in the summer.

One of the biggest injustices against men (and a much smaller percentage of women) of our time.

Agreed on all points and well-stated, thank you. Considering how terribly easy it has become to both get married and to be divorced (although some will argue that Man cannot 'truly' break a Covenant made with God) one naturally wonders how many men who take all aspects of the institution of marriage very, very seriously, including the Vows, have perhaps been pushed into marriage prematurely by an overanxious and less-serious woman who later is the prime mover in the breakup of the marriage because her flighty nature manifests itself only when a few years roll by and things aren't quite so much fun anymore as they were in the initial heat of passion. Given the imbalanced nature of legal matters which you point out, she has far less to lose and is enthusiastically encouraged by 'the sisterhood', the media as well as the State to 'stand up for herself' (end things because they no longer amuse her fully) .

Given that the murder of unborn children when they are inconvenient has now been cast as a 'right', it is only to be expected that the Family has become inconsequential for many as well.

I've done some more thinking and more reading on this case, and it looks like I jumped the gun a bit.

Not surprisingly, Mr. Webb is not an angel himself. This article about his ex-wife claims he cheated during the marriage as well. Many of her claims may be fabricated or exaggerated as is often the case with an ex-spouse. (Naturally, the same could be said for some of Mr. Webb's allegations against his ex-wife.) Some of the claims against him appear to be true, however. For example, the article describes how he returned a stack of old Father's Day cards to Elspeth a little over a year ago, a claim she corroborates in her own portion of the article.

I should have known that there would be more to the story, but on topics like this my emotions sometimes override my reason.

That being said, I still don't think this is a case of a father abandoning his child merely because she isn't biologically related. After discovering the truth he still acted as her father and even now (if he is to be believed) is trying to reestablish contact with her. He initially tried to keep the truth a secret and also tried to keep her out of the lawsuit. Although there is undoubtedly a strain in their relationship, I think it may be more the result of the daughter having to "choose sides" between her parents rather than an outright rejection of her for not being his "real" daughter.

Without a doubt what happened to this man was wrong. He should get some compensation for what happened and his ex-wife should be held accountable for her dishonesty. From a legal standpoint I think a duped father should be able to recover for raising a child that wasn't really his.

However, I understand how difficult it could be for a even a grown child to not see that kind of claim as a rejection. That's why, as personal matter, I think men should pursue a different kind of claim in most cases. Rather than seeking to recover for all of the money spent raising the child, a duped father should seek to recover for the pain and humiliation caused by being deceived and finding out that a child is not really his. This kind of claim seems less likely to send the message "you were an unwanted burden to raise" but instead merely says "I wish that I was your biological father."

This kind of claim may not provide a duped father every penny he deserves, but it delivers some measure of justice without the crushing emotional burden on the innocent child.