Posted on 04/01/2009 10:19:48 AM PDT by Uncle Miltie
Microsoft requested on Tuesday some $20 billion in bailout funds from the federal government, claiming that as the company controlling an overwhelming share of the OS market, it is too big to fail. The company said low adoption rates for Windows Vista, the ensuing ad campaign trying to convince people that they really do like Vista, and the increased need for development resources to rush Windows 7 to market to make people forget about Vista have necessitated the bailout.
"We want to make it absolutely clear that this is not a crisis of mismanagement," said Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer in a prepared statement. "This is simply a crisis of dollars -- a crisis of not having enough dollars coming our way. And if Microsoft collapses, better than 80 percent of the OS market collapses with us. We are requesting these bailout funds to avoid that undesirable outcome by bridging the gap between now and Windows 7."
Ballmer didn't say if Microsoft executives would still receive bonuses if the company succeeded in getting bailout funds. He also did not indicate how the company intended to spend any bailout money it might receive, merely explaining that it would be used to "fund operations."
Microsoft's earnings over the past several quarters have been either flat or falling. Revenue has grown, but the company has increased expenditures, causing net income to decrease. Ballmer said that the company's current trajectory is "unsustainable in the long term" and that a government bailout would put the company back on the right track.
Irvin Pepper, an analyst with Freamon & Moreland, called the bailout request a "shrewd move" by Microsoft. "It may be unpopular, but Microsoft is so large that it doesn't have to worry about popularity. And the company would be foolish to leave all that money on the table if it can, in fact, get a bailout." Pepper postulated that Microsoft's odds of getting bailout funds are around 3 to 1.
Pepper also said that his sources within Microsoft were indicating that the money might be used for a surprising purpose: suing Apple, Google, open source companies, and other entities Microsoft has labeled "revenue stealers" in internal communications. Microsoft has antagonized the companies in the past and most recently sued Linux vendor TomTom over alleged patent violations.
According to Pepper, Microsoft sees litigation as a possible revenue stream, although he believes such a strategy would be for the short term only. "I don't see Microsoft getting into the business of suing everybody willy-nilly," he said. "But as a stopgap measure while it struggles with the economic climate, Microsoft believes litigation can be a revenue-positive undertaking."
Enough of the April Fools jokes!
No, Microsoft would be a perfect fit for being Government run..
-lousy customer service
-product that does not work
-non compatibility
-a totalitarian leadership
-Unethical business practices
Ha! Funny, no?
Obama should replace Steve Balmer with Linus Torvalds.
At this rate, I’m just going to give up reading news today - and probably the rest of the week as the fallout continues. I like 4/1 jokes as much as anyone, but being deluged when looking for real news just kinda saps the fun.
I know this is real ‘cause I read it on the internet!!1
April fools?
Snapplefish is going to get upset - he usually posts this stuff.
0bama could score a point or two if he made this a condition for getting a bail out:
Thou shall not hire any more H1b’s
I am thankful you posted this on April Fool Day. If you’d done this on (ie)June 5, 2009, 120,500 people would have had either strokes or heart attacks. The problem is what you wrote as an APRIL FOOL, is just too damn close to the ACTUAL, REAL and GENUINE news stories.
Yes. Microsoft is sitting on *Billions* of reserve cash
that they can’t figure out what it would be good to spend it on.
“No, Microsoft would be a perfect fit for being Government run...”
My son and I talked about Microsoft yesterday. The way we see it, Microsoft is more of a far right organization.
You may not like Microsoft, but they are upfront about who and what they are. Microsoft wants your money, and they will do what it takes to maximize the amount of your money they can keep. The practices you detail are not inconsistent with that view of Microsoft.
Google, on the other hand, is the new Microsoft, only it’s a far left Microsoft. Google censors content, they offer “free” things and take advantate of having your personal content. Google is decidedly not upfront about their intent.
I just found this comparision interesting.
Today should be the day ScrappleFace reports real news.
-lousy customer service
-product that does not work
-non compatibility
-a totalitarian leadership
-Unethical business practices
Let me add the concept of fraudulent conveyance of excessive profits to the "Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation". Now I am sounding like one of the Radicals but, after all, today's date is April 1st.
Funny, because now we can not distinguish the 4/1 jokes from the truth!
Yes, it’s gotten that bad...
Well, at least this time the moniker Mis-Infoworld truly applies.
wtf
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