Skip to comments.Obama Apologizes to Asteroids for "Observing their Motions without a Warrant"
Posted on 04/14/2009 7:51:39 AM PDT by NonZeroSum
WASHINGTON (Routers) With his historic speech today, most analysts agreed that the Obama administration made huge inroads in rebuilding Americas relations with the rest of the solar system, reversing anti-terrestrial hostility that had understandably built up in the wake of years of Bush administration arrogance and interplanetary war mongering. In an address before the International Astronomical Union, the president made a moving plea for understanding to all the asteroids that may find our planet in their path.
This asteroid problem is one that we inherited from the last administration, which not only did nothing about it, but exacerbated it with its cowboy attitude. They were actively belligerent, repeatedly lighting them up with radar and blatantly, even proudly observing their motions without a warrant, Obama said. But it was much worse than that. My predecessor not only made a completely unprovoked attack on an innocent comet, but reveled in it, cynically calling it a smashing success, and declaring that we hit it exactly where we wanted to. And now there are plans to cruelly exploit these bodies for their resources, without the proper labor safeguards in place or an international regime to ensure that the wealth is spread around.
(Excerpt) Read more at pajamasmedia.com ...
He will of course make reparations to Pluto, so cruelly relegated to non-planet status during the Bush administration. And offer huge grants to Mars to make up for its recent Global warming, clearly caused by our cars and industry.
And we wonder why the rest of the Solar System hates us so much.
It is, after all, the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.
I suppose that means that any asteroid that threatens the earth will be petitioned via the UN for bilateral talks.
Well, it's really still a planet, but has been reclassified as a Dwarf Planet.
Cool! He even has an inverted Social Security number on his left sleeve.
Before they pull this one.