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Obama Apologizes to Asteroids for "Observing their Motions without a Warrant"
Pajamas Media ^ | April 14th, 2009 | Rand Simberg

Posted on 04/14/2009 7:51:39 AM PDT by NonZeroSum

WASHINGTON (Routers) With his historic speech today, most analysts agreed that the Obama administration made huge inroads in rebuilding America’s relations with the rest of the solar system, reversing anti-terrestrial hostility that had understandably built up in the wake of years of Bush administration arrogance and interplanetary war mongering. In an address before the International Astronomical Union, the president made a moving plea for understanding to all the asteroids that may find our planet in their path.

“This asteroid problem is one that we inherited from the last administration, which not only did nothing about it, but exacerbated it with its cowboy attitude. They were actively belligerent, repeatedly lighting them up with radar and blatantly, even proudly observing their motions without a warrant,” Obama said. “But it was much worse than that. My predecessor not only made a completely unprovoked attack on an innocent comet, but reveled in it, cynically calling it a ’smashing success,’ and declaring that ‘we hit it exactly where we wanted to.’ And now there are plans to cruelly exploit these bodies for their resources, without the proper labor safeguards in place or an international regime to ensure that the wealth is spread around.

(Excerpt) Read more at pajamasmedia.com ...


TOPICS: Extended News; Foreign Affairs; Government; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: apologies; appeasement; asteroids; peace
Finally, hope for peace in the solar system in the Age of Obama.
1 posted on 04/14/2009 7:51:40 AM PDT by NonZeroSum
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To: NonZeroSum

He will of course make reparations to Pluto, so cruelly relegated to non-planet status during the Bush administration. And offer huge grants to Mars to make up for its recent Global warming, clearly caused by our cars and industry.

And we wonder why the rest of the Solar System hates us so much.


2 posted on 04/14/2009 7:59:30 AM PDT by agere_contra
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To: NonZeroSum

It is, after all, the dawning of the Age of Aquarius.


3 posted on 04/14/2009 8:04:35 AM PDT by Lonesome in Massachussets (The death cult wants death, the Israelis want peace. I, for one, see only one solution.)
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To: NonZeroSum
I understand that the Anointed One will be opening up bilateral talks with "Ming the Merciless"


4 posted on 04/14/2009 8:08:45 AM PDT by Dr. Sivana (There is no salvation in politics.)
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To: NonZeroSum

I suppose that means that any asteroid that threatens the earth will be petitioned via the UN for bilateral talks.


5 posted on 04/14/2009 8:13:17 AM PDT by The_Victor (If all I want is a warm feeling, I should just wet my pants.)
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To: agere_contra
...make reparations to Pluto, so cruelly relegated to non-planet...

Well, it's really still a planet, but has been reclassified as a Dwarf Planet.

6 posted on 04/14/2009 8:37:30 AM PDT by econjack (Some people are as dumb as soup.)
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To: Dr. Sivana

Cool! He even has an inverted Social Security number on his left sleeve.


7 posted on 04/14/2009 8:38:38 AM PDT by econjack (Some people are as dumb as soup.)
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To: Dr. Sivana; Krankor

Phantom of Krankor is most displeased...
8 posted on 04/14/2009 9:47:08 AM PDT by RandallFlagg (Satisfaction was my sin)
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To: NonZeroSum

LOL!


9 posted on 04/14/2009 9:48:55 AM PDT by <1/1,000,000th%
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To: RandallFlagg
Phantom of Krankor is most displeased...

I loved it when MST3000 did that one.
10 posted on 04/14/2009 9:49:08 AM PDT by ZX12R
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To: ZX12R

Click here:
http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=148145D98EDD60D2&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&v=e45SJB_QwKk
Before they pull this one.
Enjoy.


11 posted on 04/14/2009 9:51:00 AM PDT by RandallFlagg (Satisfaction was my sin)
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To: RandallFlagg

LOL!!


12 posted on 04/14/2009 2:47:44 PM PDT by Krankor (iT EMINDS ME)
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