Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Slouching Toward Fatherhood
Newsweek ^ | Apr 4, 2009 | Joel Schwartzberg

Posted on 04/18/2009 7:05:26 PM PDT by huac

"...These were the tiny, fleeting pleasures I clung to after my son was born. They felt like all I had left. When a child was added to my life, it was as if something enormous and coveted was subtracted in return, and the transaction left me reeling, like someone who'd just gambled away his soul. I fell into a well of depression so deep I wasn't even aware of it. It was only years later, after I spoke to a psychotherapist, that I learned I was experiencing male postpartum depression...But not 48 hours after we returned home with our boy, a truth dawned on me with shocking force: my life was gone. Movies, sleeping, long showers—all gone. We became slaves to this tiny new thing living in our home...ceded nearly complete authority to my wife, then blamed both her and my son for my feelings of loss and insignificance. I took on every parental responsibility with sucked-up reluctance on the outside and contempt on the inside..."

(Excerpt) Read more at newsweek.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: democrat; fatherhood; journalist; liberal; lifehate; narcissism; parenthood; parenting; wimp
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-58 next last
The best line: "...One day, I sat on the hardwood floor next to my son, both of us exhausted. My son started crying. Then I did, too. Actually, we bawled. I don't know why he was crying, but I was mourning the loss of my life as I knew it..."

Obviously, this kid is crying because instead of having a man for his father, he gets Tinkerbell. If this guy is a tax cheat, he's a cinch for a Obama Cabinet appointment.

1 posted on 04/18/2009 7:05:27 PM PDT by huac
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: huac

Second Best Line: “...I couldn’t mask my sadness when my work colleagues asked excitedly about fatherhood. “It’s good … well, it’s OK,” I said. “Actually, it’s very, very hard.” By then, I was close to tears...”

Classic!


2 posted on 04/18/2009 7:08:38 PM PDT by huac (We're not Communists, we're Democrats!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: huac

Oh, Mandy, will you kiss me and stop me from shaking, and I neeeeeeeed yoooooooooooo!


3 posted on 04/18/2009 7:12:19 PM PDT by Dr. Sivana (There is no salvation in politics.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: huac
Obviously, this kid is crying because instead of having a man for his father, he gets Tinkerbell.

Congratulations - you just won Comment Of The Week!

4 posted on 04/18/2009 7:16:49 PM PDT by Talisker (When you find a turtle on top of a fence post, you can be damn sure it didn't get there on it's own.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: huac

It’s taking far too long for people to grow up.


5 posted on 04/18/2009 7:18:45 PM PDT by Soothesayer (The United States of America Rest in Peace November 4 2008)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: huac

I feel sorry for his kid.

No offense if I say that he sounds worse than the traditional Jewish mother.


6 posted on 04/18/2009 7:21:49 PM PDT by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: huac

Good grief, if I didn’t hang out here, I would not know there are real men in existence.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I know some great fathers and very good men. This is not one of them.


7 posted on 04/18/2009 7:22:28 PM PDT by Bahbah (Typical white person-Snow white)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: huac

The phrase ‘selfish metrosexual d**chebag’ doesn’t quite do him justice.

I truly hope this nonsense is just more breathless media hysterics, and not indicative of what’s happened to men (or in his case, an overgrown boy) in this country.


8 posted on 04/18/2009 7:23:46 PM PDT by ItsOurTimeNow ("But there were some who resisted...")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Dr. Sivana; huac

I remember all my life
Raining down as cold as ice
A shadow of a man
A face through a window
Crying in the night

Thirty one years old and failed to grow up in time for fatherhood. The wife sounded wimpy too and I speak as a woman.


9 posted on 04/18/2009 7:24:58 PM PDT by potlatch (A burden shared gets lighter)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: huac
. I took on every parental responsibility with sucked-up reluctance on the outside and contempt on the inside.

This guy says he was 31 years old at the time,and by saying this, it shows he was not yet a man!

10 posted on 04/18/2009 7:25:18 PM PDT by tapatio
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: huac
Schwartzberg is a writer and PBS producer

A professional liberal can't deal with life. Why an I not surprised.

"(We had twin girls after my son.)"

Brilliant!

11 posted on 04/18/2009 7:25:37 PM PDT by LibFreeOrDie (Obama promised a gold mine, but he will give us the shaft.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: huac

*It was only years later, after I spoke to a psychotherapist, that I learned I was experiencing male postpartum depression...*

So this schmuck gives a complete stranger a few thousand bucks and receives absolution instead of being slapped and called a pussy? The West is finished.


12 posted on 04/18/2009 7:27:41 PM PDT by j-damn
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Soothesayer

This guy was 31? Geesh!

I was 18 when my first child was born, and I wasn’t ready, even though I was the oldest of seven girls. I remember with crystal clarity the second night after we both came home from the hospital.

Her crying woke me from sleep. I didn’t want to get up, having had little sleep the night before. I listened, and it dawned on me that there was no-one else to take care of this helpless little girl. I was it. It was my responsibility and no-one else’s. Her very life depended on me being there to meet her needs.

I became a mother in those few seconds. God called me, and I answered, even though I was young and inexperienced. What was wrong with this 31 year old that he couldn’t hear?


13 posted on 04/18/2009 7:29:16 PM PDT by jacquej
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: LibFreeOrDie

This is the face of Progressive America. A PBS producer publishes a “serious” story in Newsweek about male postpartum depression, monumental selfishness and a lot of crying. But fear not, judging from the portrait of our hero at the URL, he’s got child-bearing hips. With a little more fetal stem cell research, we might finally wrest the monopoly of pregnancy from Womyn.


14 posted on 04/18/2009 7:30:08 PM PDT by huac (We're not Communists, we're Democrats!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: LibFreeOrDie

A professional liberal can’t deal with life...

Hey, come on now, give the guy a break. None of this fatherhood stuff has ever happened to anybody before him.


15 posted on 04/18/2009 7:30:34 PM PDT by Old North State
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: jacquej

“...Her crying woke me from sleep....I became a mother in those few seconds...”

The same circumstances reduced Schwartzberg to tears and he became a PBS producer. Go figure.


16 posted on 04/18/2009 7:34:09 PM PDT by huac (We're not Communists, we're Democrats!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: huac
Hmmm...Do people STILL read this Newsweek Newsweak trash?
....what a waste of newsprint / paper / resources.

17 posted on 04/18/2009 7:34:14 PM PDT by skinkinthegrass (just b/c you're paranoid, doesn't mean "they" aren't out to get you.. :^)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: huac
I took on every parental responsibility with sucked-up reluctance on the outside and contempt on the inside...

There's nothing as noisily histrionic as a liberal who slams up against unavoidable personal responsibility. Victimhood positively erupts out of their very bone marrow, even if they have to blame their wives and infants to justify their squalling. This is the very essence of liberalism, this trans-dimensional, galaxy-sized, black hole of pure selfishness. And it also explains the real reason this guy was upset - his new baby stole all Mommy's attention away from him. But that's not enough - then he has the shamelessness to write an article admitting his own stunning level of immaturity! Liberals are stupifyingly pathetic.

18 posted on 04/18/2009 7:34:29 PM PDT by Talisker (When you find a turtle on top of a fence post, you can be damn sure it didn't get there on it's own.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Talisker; huac
Agreed.

The last thing a son wants to see is his dad falling apart. What a pu**y.

19 posted on 04/18/2009 7:35:48 PM PDT by Lizavetta (Politicians: When they're not lying, they're stealing.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: huac

It sounds like he never really thought about what becoming a parent means. You do have to give up things, that is part of the deal. I don’t have kids but I do have a sister that is 12.5 years younger than I am so know what having babies around is all about, it sounds like he’d never been around a baby before his son?


20 posted on 04/18/2009 7:38:26 PM PDT by chris_bdba
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Lizavetta

“...The last thing a son wants to see is his dad falling apart. What a pu**y...”

I can’t imagine what I would do if I saw my father, or any man, cry like that. It remind’s me of that scene from the movie, Patton, when the good General slaps the crap out of the coward who is crying because he’s afraid to go back to the front. Of course, there is a difference. The individual in the movie is a coward. Mr. S is both a coward and a sniveler.


21 posted on 04/18/2009 7:40:50 PM PDT by huac (We're not Communists, we're Democrats!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: chris_bdba
“...it sounds like he’d never been around a baby before his son?...”

Not to be contentious, but I suspect that there might be a simpler explanation. Mr. S is a sniveling wimp and classic invertebrate liberal, a massive ego covered with quivering, tear-soaked jelly.

22 posted on 04/18/2009 7:46:27 PM PDT by huac (We're not Communists, we're Democrats!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: huac
my life was gone. Movies, sleeping, long showers—all gone. We became slaves to this tiny new thing living in our home..

What a self-absorbed POS. That poor kid is starting out in life with one strike against him.

23 posted on 04/18/2009 7:46:27 PM PDT by buccaneer81 (Bob Taft has soiled the family name for the next century.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: huac

What a pathetic, whiny, selfish. Loser.


24 posted on 04/18/2009 7:46:49 PM PDT by Kozak (USA 7/4/1776 to 1/20/2009 Requiescat In Pace)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: huac

What a putz. The world is doomed...doomed I tell you!


25 posted on 04/18/2009 7:49:11 PM PDT by Snurple (VEGETARIAN, OLD INDIAN WORD FOR BAD HUNTER.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: huac
Eventually, my wife and I divorced,

Wow! What a shock! /s

Did you see what this loser does for work? He's a producer for PBS. These things just write themselves ;-)

26 posted on 04/18/2009 7:49:55 PM PDT by buccaneer81 (Bob Taft has soiled the family name for the next century.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: buccaneer81

Let’s see...I don’t get to see R-rated movies anymore and I can’t take long showers. In return I get to see my son’s and daughter’s eyes light up whenever I come from work. I’ll take it.

Sleeping is overrated.

Wait until this d-bag’s kids start playing sports or doing dance or scouts or piano or whatever. I haven’t had a Saturday “off” in 7 months and I couldn’t be happier.


27 posted on 04/18/2009 7:50:03 PM PDT by perez24 (Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: huac; Lizavetta

“...The last thing a son wants to see is his dad falling apart. What a pu**y...”

Well, I didn’t “fall apart”, but my kids do see me with a tear in my eye once in awhile. The last time was a couple of weeks ago. I was reading to them from the Declaration of Independence.

They also got to see me angry too.


28 posted on 04/18/2009 7:52:30 PM PDT by 21twelve (Drive Reality out with a pitchfork if you want , it always comes back.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 21 | View Replies]

To: perez24
Wait until this d-bag’s kids start playing sports or doing dance or scouts or piano or whatever.

I hope that happens, for the kids sake. But I think Mom will be the one taking the responsibility. This wuss is going to be a very lonely "man" very soon.

29 posted on 04/18/2009 7:52:54 PM PDT by buccaneer81 (Bob Taft has soiled the family name for the next century.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 27 | View Replies]

To: huac

a scene from the Godfather comes to mind.

waaaa waaaaa! Whats da matter wit u! Be a man! boo hoo, god father god father, (SLAP) Tom Hagen snickers in corner

Somebody needs to give that boy a godfather talking to.

This is the result of us expecting nothing from the youth today. Everyone says, oh, your sooooo young, you don’t know what your doing. Bull hockey! I have always told my kids, age is NOT an excuse!! God selected the Virgin Mary at 15 to bear the Son of God, so you can MAN UP! My 21 year old is getting married this Jan, my 17 year old is bound for seminary next Sept. Start expecting things of your kids, they will NOT let you down. They will always give you what you expect of them, and that sniveling snot bag is proof that when you expect NOTHING thats what you get.

Oh yeah, and try keeping the boys away from body lotion, eyebrow waxing, and manicures. They seem to be women enough already! YEESH!


30 posted on 04/18/2009 7:55:03 PM PDT by wombtotomb
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: huac

My ex-husband could have written this, which is the biggest reason he is my ex-husband. He would never even touch the babies unless there was a third party there to see him do it, and as soon as they were gone whatever baby he was holding would get dumped. The hardest part was just keeping them alive.


31 posted on 04/18/2009 7:55:25 PM PDT by Excellence (What Madoff is to finance Gore is to global warming.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: huac
I wonder if the mother had to change this baby's diaper too. I can't believe this creep even thought it was a good idea to write this story. This poor kid's mama must have been sleeping around and got knocked up, because it's pretty obvious that this guy has no balls.
32 posted on 04/18/2009 7:57:16 PM PDT by cspackler (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: cspackler
I can't believe this creep even thought it was a good idea to write this story.

Yeah, about as bright as Levi Johnston running his trash mouth on TV. No class, and both poor excuses for "men."

33 posted on 04/18/2009 8:00:28 PM PDT by buccaneer81 (Bob Taft has soiled the family name for the next century.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: 21twelve
A tear in the eye over something moving is perfectly acceptable manly behavior.

Bawling like a baby and indulging in some metrosexual feminized getting in touch with your feelings gland is nauseating.

34 posted on 04/18/2009 8:01:56 PM PDT by Lizavetta (Politicians: When they're not lying, they're stealing.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 28 | View Replies]

To: cspackler
Oh, come one,cut him some slack. This guy is just getting in touch with his feminine side. LOL - what a loser.
35 posted on 04/18/2009 8:03:05 PM PDT by nobama08
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: Soothesayer

Some people just shouldn’t have children. If you’re contemplating starting a family because “that’s what people do after they get married,” please—don’t.


36 posted on 04/18/2009 8:05:31 PM PDT by Trod Upon (Obama: Making the Carter malaise look good. Misery Index in 3...2...1)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: huac

Not everybody is cut out for parenthood. Of course your normal guy who finds that out too late becomes a workaholic, keeps you away from the kid and gets you money for stuff like nannies and schools on the other side of the country.


37 posted on 04/18/2009 8:07:23 PM PDT by razorboy
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: razorboy

I remember the feeleings when our daughter was a baby. Two in the morning and sitting on the edge of your bed, convinced that you just can’t do it any more. And I also remember the memories of sitting in the glider at 2:20 in the morning, rocking her back to sleep and realizing that there just is no better feeling in the world.


38 posted on 04/18/2009 8:14:32 PM PDT by cspackler (There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 37 | View Replies]

To: huac
"it was as if something enormous and coveted was subtracted in return, and the transaction left me reeling, like someone who'd just gambled away his soul."


39 posted on 04/18/2009 8:28:16 PM PDT by Snake65 (Gentlemen may cry, Peace, Peace-- but there is no peace. The war is actually begun!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: huac
Eventually, my wife and I divorced,

I can't imagine why! /sarc

40 posted on 04/18/2009 8:39:23 PM PDT by SuziQ
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: huac

I’ve seen a lot of these types of stories lately and it’s sad.

Yes, babies take time, but I never remember resenting it or feeling trapped. They are just such a joy... at least that’s the way I remember it.

But what’s goin’ on with all these downside of parenthood stories.

????


41 posted on 04/18/2009 8:49:41 PM PDT by altura
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: cspackler

*This poor kid’s mama must have been sleeping around and got knocked up, because it’s pretty obvious that this guy has no balls. *

The best part of the story is the dumbass fathers twins with his wife even after the first kid totally ruins his pathetic life. So he couldn’t even man up and get a vasectomy to save himself further torment. Then the b*tch dumps him and he’s on the hook for 3 child support payments. High-larious.


42 posted on 04/18/2009 8:56:40 PM PDT by j-damn
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: huac

Bump.


43 posted on 04/18/2009 9:01:05 PM PDT by Theo (Global warming "scientists." Pro-evolution "scientists." They're both wrong.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: huac

The story is a lot worse than this snippet looks.

He’d drive an hour for his doughnuts, but wouldn’t spend ten minutes of proud father face time with his son.


44 posted on 04/18/2009 9:27:10 PM PDT by HiTech RedNeck (Beat a better path, and the world will build a mousetrap at your door.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: buccaneer81
my life was gone. Movies, sleeping, long showers—all gone.

Fehh, you still get to go to movies after fatherhood - they are just 2 hour long toy commericals.

45 posted on 04/18/2009 9:28:15 PM PDT by Last Dakotan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 23 | View Replies]

To: j-damn

I believe a very important thing for a son is to know that his father is proud of him whenever he does well. Aloof and contemptuous fathers poison the next generation of men.


46 posted on 04/18/2009 9:28:38 PM PDT by HiTech RedNeck (Beat a better path, and the world will build a mousetrap at your door.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 42 | View Replies]

To: altura
Yes, babies take time, but I never remember resenting it or feeling trapped.

Parenthood goes by so fast it is more like a blur anyways.

47 posted on 04/18/2009 9:30:02 PM PDT by Last Dakotan
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 41 | View Replies]

To: jacquej

I was 27 when my daughter was born. She was born healthy, we took her home from the hospital two days later, and she started screaming about midnight that first night.

At about 0130, I was thinking she has a clean diaper, Her mom just breast fed her, what could be wrong? Then as I sat there rocking her I passed a finger over her lips and she tried to suck on it. Somehow the thought came through that my wife’s milk hadn’t come in yet and she was hungry.

I think that may have been the point I became a father. We didn’t have any formula on hand so that was my first barely awake, eyes half closed late night trip to the store.


48 posted on 04/18/2009 9:31:27 PM PDT by Hawk1976 (It is better to die in battle than it is to live as a slave.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: huac

WHO are these people who think that just because you have a child that your life is over? no movies? no long showers? GET REAL!!! I’m pretty sure that all of us who have children still go to movies and take showers and sleep.

You know it seems to me that there is an epidemic of men who just don’t feel that paternal bond to their children.
That instinctive need to love, protect and nurture your offspring.


49 posted on 04/18/2009 9:43:18 PM PDT by annelizly
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Last Dakotan
Fehh, you still get to go to movies after fatherhood - they are just 2 hour long toy commericals.

No kidding. I was so glad when my son was old enough to see PG movies with me. "Spiderman" was the first time for that. I was free!

50 posted on 04/18/2009 9:47:04 PM PDT by buccaneer81 (Bob Taft has soiled the family name for the next century.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 45 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-5051-58 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson