We chose a nice spot to sit down. The lotus position was implied so I bent myself uncomfortably into it. Before there was sharing of any kind, Jaquelib wanted to begin with a guided meditation. She would be my guide. Eyes closed. Breathe. Breathe. I was instructed to mentally travel to the whitest of sand beaches where I would discover a box that was left just for me. I was to open the box and see the note inside. On the note something was written, something I wanted. My note said Newt in 2012. I was to put the note back in the box and bury it in the sand for another loving soul to find. I hoped 65 million loving souls would find that box. Breathe. Breathe. I was definitely breathing, yet she kept saying it. Eyes closed but then I heard a stirring in the brush from below the ridge so I opened one eye. Breathe. Breathe. The noise louder .closer and then up from God knows where, Breitbart appeared on horseback, riding sidesaddle, as he is known to do.
Hilarity thy name is Jon David.
Thank you for your patience. Lets begin.
This might be one of the funniest riffs I've ever read.