How Much is That Clunker In the Window?

Ce qu'on voit et ce qu'on ne voit pas. That may exhaust my French phrase quota for the year, but it's worth it. The saying is the title of an essay by 19th century French economist Frederic Bastiat and means "that which is seen, and that which is not seen."

Bastiat's essay is most famous for the "parable of the broken window," in which a young boy shatters a shopkeeper's window and, after some initial outrage, the villagers conclude that the rascal helped the local economy. Why?

Because if no one broke windows, window makers would be out of business, and if window makers were out of business, they wouldn't buy any more bread or shoes, hurting the bakers and cobblers. So the six francs the shopkeeper must spend for a new window is really a boon to the community.

The problem with this argument can be gleaned from the title of Bastiat's essay. By counting the money the shopkeeper spends to replace a perfectly good window (that which is seen), we ignore the money he might have spent on something else (that which is unseen). The shopkeeper might have instead dropped six francs on new shoes, a book or a bonus for his assistant. Those who celebrate the broken window as a generator of growth take "no account of that which is not seen."

Sorry for the long digression, but the parable of the broken window is worth keeping in mind, or perhaps even worth updating to the parable of the crushed clunker.

This parable is more convoluted, but the upshot is that Uncle Sam pays people to destroy their own cars as long as they use the money to buy a new, more expensive car.

As you've no doubt heard, the "cash for clunkers" program gives buyers up to $4,500 of taxpayer dollars toward the purchase of a new car if they trade in their old cars for vehicles with better gas mileage. The old cars, still roadworthy, are then destroyed just like the shopkeeper's window.

The thinking behind the program is that the car companies need a boost, Michigan needs a boost, the environment needs a boost (through lower emissions), and Americans need help too.

Unsaid, but just as relevant, is that the authors of the government's mammoth stimulus plan need some proof that something is being stimulated.

The program's $1 billion funding evaporated in days rather than months as consumers, most of whom had been waiting to trade in their clunkers anyway, lined up for free cash. Washington is now agog with its successful effort to give out free money.

That Washington is shocked by the news that Americans like getting free money shows how thick the Beltway bubble really is.

Like the drunk who only looks for his car keys where the light is good, Washington can only see the economic activity it has created, not the activity it has destroyed.

For starters, who says the smartest thing for people with working cars is to buy new ones? Personal debt is supposed to be a problem, so why not look at this as bribing consumers into taking out car loans they don't need? Even with the $4,500 subsidy, not all of these customers are going to be paying cash for their new cars. So they'll be swapping serviceable-but-paid-for cars for nicer cars that are owned by banks.

Besides, maybe some people would be smarter to buy a savings bond or max out their kid's college fund or -- here's a crazy thought -- buy health insurance. But instead they've been seduced into spending the equivalent of their six francs on a car they don't really need.

But, you might say, some buyers surely do need a new car. True. But if they needed a new car, they'd get one anyway, eventually. Indeed, they might already have gotten it, but rationally opted to wait for the program to kick in.

Or maybe they'd have needed to delay the purchase until next year, or buy a cheaper car, possibly even a used car, which will now become more difficult for poor people to find because we are taking all these cheap cars off the market.

Under the government's program, tax dollars are being diverted to people with cheap cars so they can buy expensive ones. That's just really inefficient wealth distribution, not wealth creation. But government can see it, and that's all that counts.

‘59 & ‘60 Impalas :

If you have a golden oldie as a 2nd or 3rd car - and will not use it as a daily-driver -

Grundy car insurance will insure them for about $185 bucks a year

A Chevy 400ci small-block is a bolt-in - 350ci head will fit by drilling a few tiny steamholes by using a 400ci head gasket as a template - any 4v intake - stock or a used aluminum aftermarket intake (cheap & plentiful) will work

Use the 400ci AT flywheel and a THM350 or THM400 AT or an aluminum Powerglide with a shift kit - they are bulletproof if built with the right stuff - see the drag racers on SPEED Channel

Adapt a later Impala SS front stabilizer bar by using Ford Econoline end links and drilling the lower control arm for a hardened link-pin at bottom of the links

‘69 Ford (AC) front springs will fit and stop any tail-wag and make it handle like many sportscars - BUT - fit very SOFT downstroke - STIFF rebound front shocks - the freon gas shocks from some original Olds 422s will fit and still give a comfty ride - but never bottom or or sway or lean in turns- (THIS IS IMPORTANT! - with those mucho thicker and stiifer ‘68 Ford AC front springs (boneyard is fine) even a soft standard shock will be to stiif) - top mounting area hole will need to be be drilled or reamed for the top shock rubber bushings - or poly - or teflon bushings (on stabilizer bar frame mount poly bushing help a bunch too - hot rod parts shops stock them from ADDCO and others)

Rear suspension - some rear coilover shocks from Monroe add trnk load capacity and prevent bottoming but do not raise the rear

This is a mix of SCCA/NASCAR stuff I used on my ‘60 Impala convertible commuter to NYC

(Yes I bought it for $100 cash [a bit of surface rust on underdoor panels - fixed in about 30 minutes] from one of my mechanic’s schoolteacher neighbors - it only had 13,000 on the clock - 283ci-4v-Turboglide) I drove it over 130,000 miles more and sold it for $3,500+

Quiet reliable power and great mileage and superb comfy sporty handling - boneyard and parts store or dealer parts

I did swap a big Holley 4V onto it
During the Carter gas crunch I adapted a water-alcohol bottle to a vacuum line at base of the carb - an aquarium brass valve and a filter stone in the water-alky mix - I ran loads of advance for mileage and this let me run leaner with no detonation - gas mileage soared and power was still super

Did the same later on modified ‘65 Corsa-Turbo coupe

Drove it in Nov-Dec-Jan-Feb through light-heavy snow with the top down zipping by Porsches and Mercedes on sweeping thruway curves - back from NYC nights

If it rains - add speed - put the top back up at home

15”x8” or 15”x7” (Font?) ‘Vette or Camaro SS Rally wheels with Michelins work just dandy - I had a mountain of every tire and wheel you can name at the shop

Happy Motoring!

PS - (sorry)

Safety first

Pull the brake drums - turn them carefully - not over safe/legal limits

I often drilled the inner back 90° with a number of small holes to let water drain or spin out (flooded streets can be fun)

Hone & rebuild all wheel cylinders and install cup expander kits

Rebuild or replace master cylinder

Fit Raybestos HD or other top brake linings - ground a tad to match new drum diameters

I often used metallic linings in the back

Brake Self-Adjusters of kits for later Chevys will fit

Lube the emergency brake cables with WD-40 then waterproof of silicone sprat or grease

Ceramic HP lining now made may be available

Adapting front disc brakes is or needed if you prep and retro-fit properly

If you don’t have good brakes - park it!

Some 70s El Caminos would make nice retros

I see some flaming station wagons on SPEED Channel -

The original SUV

Stick with a brand and model that has plenty of el cheapo parts in boneyards of partscars or parts stores or upgrade performance toys
Small block Chevys are the sane way to go

350-400 ci blocks and heads and intakes and exhaust and and and

Lots of Chevy parts swap & fit

I once worked for Ford - I know -

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