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.....You might be a Kennedy. (vanity)
none | 08-26-09 | self

Posted on 08/26/2009 7:37:38 AM PDT by Lockbox

…………..You might be a Kennedy.

Plagiarizing Jeff Foxworthy’s ‘You might be a redneck’routine, I think we should have a ‘You might be a Kennedy’list.

1. If you every drove a car off a bridge……… You might be a Kennedy.

2. If you were married for 12 years, had two children and got the marriage annulled……… You might be a Kennedy.

3. If you and Chris Dodd made waitress sandwiches……… You might be a Kennedy.

4. If you ever cheating on a test and were expelled Harvard ……… You might be a Kennedy.

5. If you ever said "Do we operate under a system of equal justice under law? Or is there one system for the average citizen and another for the high and mighty?" ……… You might be a Kennedy.

6. If you ever had an affair with the family’s 14 year old babysitter……… You might be a Kennedy.

7. If your brothers' both had an affair with Marilyn Monroe……… You might be a Kennedy.

Please feel free to add other examples of ……… You might be a Kennedy.


TOPICS: Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: kennedy
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1 posted on 08/26/2009 7:37:38 AM PDT by Lockbox
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To: Lockbox

.....7. If your brothers’ both had an affair with Marilyn Monroe......

Did Martin Luther King Jr have any brothers?


2 posted on 08/26/2009 7:40:26 AM PDT by bert (K.E. N.P. +12 . fasl el-khitab)
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To: Lockbox
If you have ever stolen a presidential election - You might be a Kennedy.
3 posted on 08/26/2009 7:40:53 AM PDT by GonzoGOP (There are millions of paranoid people in the world, and they are all out to get me.)
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To: Lockbox

I am writing a book on the kennedy clan.

Its called: The Bootleggers Sons


4 posted on 08/26/2009 7:41:13 AM PDT by edcoil (If I had 1 cent for every dollar the government saved, Bill Gates and I would be friends.)
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To: Lockbox

Ted Kennedy was once asked what he would say to Mary Jo Kopechne’s parents if he met them in the afterlife....He said he’d cross that bridge when he gets to it.....


5 posted on 08/26/2009 7:42:12 AM PDT by AngelesCrestHighway
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To: Lockbox

http://www.tldm.org/News9/KennedyCooperatedWithKGB.htm

Speaks for itself.


6 posted on 08/26/2009 7:42:33 AM PDT by EagleUSA
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To: Lockbox

If you commit rape and get away with it.....you might be a Kennedy.

If you bludgeon someone with a golf club........you might be Kennedy


7 posted on 08/26/2009 7:43:20 AM PDT by Lucretia Borgia (I will be happy to show Obama the same respect the Democrats gave Reagan, Bush, and Palin.)
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To: Lockbox


Leo Damore, Senatorial Privilege: The Chappaquiddick Cover-up

8 posted on 08/26/2009 7:44:01 AM PDT by Paine in the Neck (Nepolean fries the idea powder)
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To: Lockbox
~ If your President ever had to recall you from your ambassadorship because of your Nazi sympathies....

~ If you're accused of rape, and you defend yourself by saying, "At least Uncle Teddy didn't offer to drive you home...."

~ If your gorgeous, classy, refined wife had to marry a Greek sailor to find true happiness...

9 posted on 08/26/2009 7:46:42 AM PDT by Joe 6-pack (Que me amat, amet et canem meum)
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To: Lockbox
4. If you ever cheating on a test and were expelled Harvard

WHAT YOU SAY!!1!

10 posted on 08/26/2009 7:52:00 AM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: martin_fierro

lol!


11 posted on 08/26/2009 7:54:50 AM PDT by Rennes Templar (All Hail the Community Organizer in Chief)
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To: Paine in the Neck

I read this book before going to the Vineyard about 20 years ago.

The guy got away with murder. Period.


12 posted on 08/26/2009 7:55:58 AM PDT by PA-RIVER
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To: Lockbox

If you ever gave your daughter a botched lobotomy while your wife was away ……… You might be a Kennedy.


13 posted on 08/26/2009 7:56:26 AM PDT by weef
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To: Lockbox

Finally....a thread appropriate to the occasion...


14 posted on 08/26/2009 7:58:24 AM PDT by rockrr (Everything is different now...)
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To: Lockbox

The Last of The Kennedy Dynasty

As soon as his cancer was detected, I noticed the immediate attempt at the “canonization” of old Teddy Kennedy by the mainstream media. They are saying what a “great American” he is. I say, let’s get a couple things clear & not twist the facts to change the real history.

1. He was caught cheating at Harvard when he attended it. He was expelled twice, once for cheating on a test, and once for paying a classmate to cheat for him.

2. While expelled, Kennedy enlisted in the Army, but mistakenly signed up for four years instead of two. Oops! The man can’t count to four! His father, Joseph P. Kennedy, former U.S. Ambassador to England (a step up from bootlegging liquor into the US from Canada during prohibition), pulled the necessary strings to have his enlistment shortened to two years, and to ensure that he served in Europe, not Korea , where a war was raging. No preferential treatment for him! (like he charged that President Bush received).

3. Kennedy was assigned to Paris , never advanced beyond the rank of Private, and returned to Harvard upon being discharged.. Imagine a person of his “education” NEVER advancing past the rank of Private!

4. While attending law school at the University of Virginia , he was cited for reckless driving four times, including once when he was clocked driving 90 miles per hour in a residential neighborhood with his headlights off after dark. Yet his Virginia driver’s license was never revoked. Coincidentally, he passed the bar exam in 1959. Amazing!

5.. In 1964, he was seriously injured in a plane crash, and hospitalized for several months. Test results done by the hospital at the time he was admitted had shown he was legally intoxicated. The results of those tests remained a “state secret” until in the 1980’s when the report was unsealed. Didn’t hear about that from the unbiased media, did we?

6. On July 19, 1969, Kennedy attended a party on Chappaquiddick Island in Massachusetts . At about 11:00 PM, he borrowed his chauffeur’s keys to his Oldsmobile limousine, and offered to give a ride home to Mary Jo Kopechne, a campaign worker. Leaving the island via an unlit bridge with no guard rail, Kennedy steered the car off the bridge, flipped, and into Poucha Pond.

7. He swam to shore and walked back to the party, passing several houses and a fire station. Two friends then returned with him to the scene of the accident. According to their later testimony, they told him what he already knew - that he was required by law to immediately report the accident to the authorities. Instead Kennedy made his way to his hotel, called his lawyer, and went to sleep. Kennedy called the police the next morning and by then the wreck had already been discovered. Before dying, Kopechne had scratched at the upholstered floor above her head in the upside-down car.

The Kennedy family began “calling in favors”, ensuring that any inquiry would be contained. Her corpse was whisked out-of-state to her family, before an autopsy could be conducted. Further details are uncertain, but after the accident Kennedy says he repeatedly dove under the water trying to rescue Kopechne and he didn’t call police because he was in a state of shock. It is widely assumed Kennedy was drunk, and he held off calling police in hopes that his family could fix the problem overnight. Since the accident, Kennedy’s “political enemies” have referred to him as the distinguished Senator from Chappaquiddick. He pled guilty to leaving the scene of an accident, and was given a SUSPENDED SENTENCE OF TWO MONTHS. Kopechne’s family received a small payout from the Kennedy’s insurance policy, and never sued. There was later an effort to have her body exhumed and autopsied, but her family successfully fought against this in court, and Kennedy’s family paid their attorney’s bills... a “token of friendship”?

8. Kennedy has held his Senate seat for more than forty years, but considering his longevity, his accomplishments seem scant. He authored or argued for legislation that ensured a variety of civil rights, increased the minimum wage in 1981, made access to health care easier for the indigent, and funded Meals on Wheels for fixed-income seniors and is widely held as the “standard-bearer for liberalism”. In his very first Senate roll, he was the floor manager for the bill that turned U.S. immigration policy upside down and opened the floodgate for immigrants from third world countries.

9. Since that time, he has been the prime instigator and author of every expansion of an increase in immigration, up to and including the latest attempt to grant amnesty to illegal aliens. Not to mention the pious grilling he gave the last two Supreme Court nominees, as if he was the standard bearer for the nation in matters of “what’s right”. What a pompous ass!

10. He is known around Washington as a public drunk, loud, boisterous and very disrespectful to ladies. JERK is a better description than “great American”. “A blonde in every pond” is his motto.

Let’s not allow the spin doctors make this jerk a hero — how quickly the American public forgets what his real legacy is. Let’s keep this going for truth, justice and the American way!


15 posted on 08/26/2009 8:03:23 AM PDT by RaceBannon (OBAMA'S HEALTH CARE IS SHOVEL READY...FOR SENIORS!!:: NObama. Not my president.)
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To: Lockbox

If you were ever given a medal for allowing your boat to become an enemy speed bump, you might be a kennedy.


16 posted on 08/26/2009 8:03:33 AM PDT by Shooter 2.5 (NRA /Patron - TSRA- IDPA)
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To: EagleUSA

http://www.rescueattempt.com/id24.html

Jimmy Carter, too


17 posted on 08/26/2009 8:04:23 AM PDT by RaceBannon (OBAMA'S HEALTH CARE IS SHOVEL READY...FOR SENIORS!!:: NObama. Not my president.)
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To: Lockbox

If your daddy was a rum runner during prohibition ..... you might be a Kennedy.


18 posted on 08/26/2009 8:04:37 AM PDT by Two Kids' Dad (((( ))))
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To: Lockbox
If you inherit 10 million dollars and become an obese drunkard ...., you might be a Kennedy.

If you kill a young woman, and cry “poor me” ..., you might be a Kennedy.

If the MSM covers for you when you leave a young woman suffocating under water ....., you might be a Kennedy.

19 posted on 08/26/2009 8:05:58 AM PDT by PA-RIVER
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To: Lockbox

If you got to the Pearly Gates just in time to make Bernie Madoff not look so bad............you might be a Kennedy.


20 posted on 08/26/2009 8:06:12 AM PDT by Eaker (If you have a problem and If explosives are an option then explosives are THE answer.)
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To: Lockbox

>>If you ever had an affair with the family’s 14 year old babysitter……… You might be a Kennedy.

Gary Puckett:
Young girl, get out of my mind
My love for you is way out of line
Better run girl,
You’re much too young girl...

So hurry home to your mama
I’m sure she wonders where you are
Get out of here
Before I have the time
To change my mind
‘Cause I’m afraid we’ll go too far


21 posted on 08/26/2009 8:06:17 AM PDT by raccoonradio
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To: Lockbox

If you have a specific gravity less than one.


22 posted on 08/26/2009 8:06:25 AM PDT by SpaceBar
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To: Lockbox

If you can’t drive a car, pilot a boat or fly a plane, you might be a kennedy.

If you killed anyone doing any of those things, you definitely are a kennedy.


23 posted on 08/26/2009 8:07:25 AM PDT by Shooter 2.5 (NRA /Patron - TSRA- IDPA)
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To: Lockbox

If you’re honored and admired for being fat, drunk and stupid, you might be a kennedy.


24 posted on 08/26/2009 8:09:31 AM PDT by Shooter 2.5 (NRA /Patron - TSRA- IDPA)
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To: Lockbox

Sorry, I’m going to have to give you the “In Bad Taste” award for today. This could have waited till tomorrow. We are not DU.

(hey, just picture your mom saying that to you!) ;)


25 posted on 08/26/2009 8:09:50 AM PDT by blu (Graffiti the world, I've seen the writing on the wall...)
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To: RaceBannon

Great post Race!


26 posted on 08/26/2009 8:10:17 AM PDT by Eaker (If you have a problem and If explosives are an option then explosives are THE answer.)
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To: SpaceBar

If your death causes much weeping and sadness . . . among distillers.


27 posted on 08/26/2009 8:10:22 AM PDT by Jewbacca (The residents of Iroquois territory may not determine whether Jews may live in Jerusalem.)
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To: Lockbox

LOL


28 posted on 08/26/2009 8:10:33 AM PDT by sweetiepiezer (I have a Pal in Sarah)
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To: PA-RIVER

I bought and tried to read the paperback. I was so disgusted after 52 pages I threw it out.


29 posted on 08/26/2009 8:11:19 AM PDT by Eagles2003
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Comment #30 Removed by Moderator

To: blu
We are not DU.

Correct.

FR will not be falsely honoring this murdering POS drunk like they probably are doing.

We both know that once Teddy catches on fire in hell folks will be forced to don shades.

31 posted on 08/26/2009 8:14:53 AM PDT by Eaker (If you have a problem and If explosives are an option then explosives are THE answer.)
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To: Lockbox
xx. If you finish-off a liter of Scotch Whiskey before 9:30 AM....you might be a Kennedy. (really)


32 posted on 08/26/2009 8:18:34 AM PDT by skinkinthegrass (Zer0 to the voter: "Welcome to 'MY' DeathCARE ® Plan"...Sucker! ...now just die. :^)
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To: Lockbox

I propose we name the Obamanation Health Care Bill for Messr. Kennedy. My offerings:

Bridge to Health Care.
Swimming In Health.
Life Preserver Bill.

Or my FAVORITE:

S enior
P rotection
L ife
A ssurance
S upplemental
H ealth

S.P.L.A.S.H. for short.


33 posted on 08/26/2009 8:23:56 AM PDT by Lazamataz (It's Claire Wolfe Time.)
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To: blu
If you get a “In Bad Taste” award for telling the story of the Kennedy's……… You might be a Kennedy. /S

Thanks Mom, I was thinking this maybe should wait as you suggeted, but then that never stopped a Kennedy......

34 posted on 08/26/2009 8:24:36 AM PDT by Lockbox
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To: Lockbox
If you get a “In Bad Taste” award for telling the story of the Kennedy's……… You might be a Kennedy. /S Thanks Mom, I was thinking this maybe should wait as you suggeted, but then that never stopped a Kennedy......

But son, you're BETTER than a Kennedy...

35 posted on 08/26/2009 8:27:07 AM PDT by blu (Graffiti the world, I've seen the writing on the wall...)
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To: blu

Today, Ich bin ein Kennedy..........


36 posted on 08/26/2009 8:33:04 AM PDT by Lockbox
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To: Eaker
FR will not be falsely honoring this murdering POS drunk like they probably are doing.

We both know that once Teddy catches on fire in hell folks will be forced to don shades.

Those are the choices? "Falsely honor" him or post thread after thread and comment after comment like the ones seen here all day? I like Sarah Palin's approach better. She gave a brief statement offering her sympathies. Now in addition to the news coverage lionizing Ted Kennedy, I will likely listen to stories about the hatred and scorn posted on conservative websites, and know that in the latter case, the media is telling the truth.

I recall my disgust at the carrying on done on liberal websites when President Reagan passed, but I hoped FR was a little better than that. No one has to put on a tribute to Senator Kennedy, but what exactly is supposed to be gained with the venom being posted here about someone who just died?

37 posted on 08/26/2009 8:52:39 AM PDT by GraceCoolidge
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Comment #38 Removed by Moderator

To: GraceCoolidge
I recall my disgust at the carrying on done on liberal websites when President Reagan passed, but I hoped FR was a little better than that. No one has to put on a tribute to Senator Kennedy, but what exactly is supposed to be gained with the venom being posted here about someone who just died

Applause Applause! Our moms would be proud of you!

39 posted on 08/26/2009 9:17:03 AM PDT by blu (Graffiti the world, I've seen the writing on the wall...)
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To: Eaker

Nice slapdown, sounds like a schoolmarm thinking she can bully men like the 8 yo’s she teaches.

Those who can do...


40 posted on 08/26/2009 9:17:13 AM PDT by Eagles2003
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To: Eaker

Nice slapdown, sounds like a schoolmarm thinking she can bully men like the 8 yo’s she teaches.

Those who can do...


41 posted on 08/26/2009 9:17:38 AM PDT by Eagles2003
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To: Eagles2003
Dude, I'm not a teacher. In fact, I'm a student. I read. I study. And I practice critical reading and synthesis. I am also a mom, and have finally discovered that if I comport myself in a manner which will not bring the wrath of my mother upon me, I'm doing good. My mom would be proud of my comments on this thread. Today is not the day. You? (oh, yeah, and bring it!)
42 posted on 08/26/2009 9:21:35 AM PDT by blu (Graffiti the world, I've seen the writing on the wall...)
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Comment #43 Removed by Moderator

To: Eagles2003
Nor am I a teacher, and it sounds like you must have had very negative experiences with your teachers. If all these posters truly enjoy spilling this hatred for all the world to see, that is really sad. Have you had an opportunity to read Michelle Malkin on this topic? Sarah Palin? Any conservatives that you admire?
44 posted on 08/26/2009 9:29:42 AM PDT by GraceCoolidge
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To: Lockbox

If you ever played bridge and left your partner to go get some air ……… You might be a Kennedy.


45 posted on 08/26/2009 9:34:25 AM PDT by reagan_fanatic (Welcome to the Revolution.)
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To: Eaker
Go cry for him with the garbage at DU if it will make you “feel” better.

My point exactly. Replace "Kennedy" with "Reagan" and you are the one who would be right at home at DU. This kind of commentary is low class, period.

I am not crying for Ted Kennedy, though I am trying to make my response one that would be right with the Lord. I guess all I'd say is I hope he had sincere repentance as he passed, and from there, the Lord's will be done. I didn't post that because I didn't see the need to share my thoughts on the topic. I am not the one venting to "feel better." I don't see the need to go on and on about someone who has died.

As for his family getting no sympathy from you... I doubt they want any, but rest assured your post and others like it will be used by the media to build up as much sympathy for the family as can possibly be mustered.

46 posted on 08/26/2009 9:35:11 AM PDT by GraceCoolidge
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To: GraceCoolidge

Teddy’s support of abortion and alterations of the immigration laws facilitating the entry of criminal third world scum has killed more American’s than all of the crack dealers combined so I cannot muster even a smidgen of give a damn about what you are trying to do.

Note, Kennedy is not Reagan and deserves all the scorn offered here and everywhere else.

Let the media publish that!


47 posted on 08/26/2009 9:54:13 AM PDT by Eaker (If you have a problem and If explosives are an option then explosives are THE answer.)
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To: GraceCoolidge
Maybe the sketch below can be engraved on Teddy's tombstone lest the future generations forget.


48 posted on 08/26/2009 10:10:24 AM PDT by Eaker (If you have a problem and If explosives are an option then explosives are THE answer.)
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To: GraceCoolidge

Very negative, PA was the home of one of the two original state teachers colleges in 1853, Penn State and MI State.

No men were teachers, it wasn’t respected. That’s why they had to establish state colleges to turn out lib teachers, that’s worked well.

The one that really galls me is my sophomore math teacher. I was in the advanced class and the guy bored me to death.

He couldn’t get past the augmented matrix he was trying to solve on the blackboard and called on me. I was reading Field & Stream because I was bored. I had to figure it out fast and simply told him “You made a mistake”. Didn’t tell him where, went back to reading.

Teachers threatened to go on strike in PA back in the late 60s, previously against the law. They should have been fired like the air traffic controllers. When they were paid more they worked less. Believe me, I lived it, and they were the bottom of the barrel.

After I graduated HS my uncle told me about the 4 Social Studies teachers who infested the local tavern, play cards with themselves and no one talked to them. They’d sit on their nickel beer, take up space and wait for a real working man to buy a round. Owner couldn’t throw them out as long as they didn’t empty their glass, but you can bet he was asked to more than once.


49 posted on 08/26/2009 10:27:59 AM PDT by Eagles2003
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To: Lockbox

If you are told you have an imminently fatal medical condition and refuse to retire from your job ........ you might be a Kennedy.


50 posted on 08/26/2009 11:22:05 AM PDT by Auntie Mame (Fear not tomorrow. God is already there.)
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