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Why Jerks Exist
Dr. Laura ^ | August 28, 2009 | letter to editor to Dr. Laura

Posted on 08/29/2009 6:50:30 PM PDT by grundle

Subject: Why Jerks Exist

Date: 2009-08-28

Why Jerks Exist

Dr. Laura,

I teach high school and am getting ready for another year. I have had the pleasure of listening to you over the summer, and have been a listener for over ten years.

I do my fair share of step-parenting to many kids that seek my advice. There are days I'm hosting my own version of the Dr. Laura show when kids come in at lunch time or after school to discuss dating and parent dilemmas. I have a particular niche with high school girls with a poor or no dad. I have discovered how crucial it is for girls to have a non-romantic strong man in their life that cares about them. I'm glad I can fill in some voids, but I'm often quite saddened that a student has to rely on their math teacher for advice that should be coming from their dad. After years of counseling hundreds of girls on the dating scene, I came up with a line last year that was definitely shaped by the years of listening to your show. After hearing another pathetic story about a nice girl dating the bad boy, I exclaimed in class one day, "Ladies, do you know the ONLY reason jerks exist? Because there is always some girl willing to date him! Women have all the power to control male behavior. If you would all stick together and stop dating the jerks, you would be amazed at what an endangered species jerks would be!" After I stopped channeling you, it was back to a fascinating lecture on trigonometry. Thanks for all the great advice I have passed on to many students over the years. You have made me look far wiser than I actually am. Now back to saving the world, one teenager at a time.

Sincerely,

A Teacher


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: drlaura; talkradio
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1 posted on 08/29/2009 6:50:30 PM PDT by grundle
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To: grundle

“Oh Yeah? Well the Jerk Store called, they’re out of you!” /seinfeld


2 posted on 08/29/2009 6:52:56 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (I'd like to tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.)
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To: grundle
Why Jerks Exist

Well, somebody has to vote Democrat!

3 posted on 08/29/2009 6:53:23 PM PDT by Still Thinking (If ignorance is bliss, liberals must be ecstatic!)
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To: grundle

Excellent advice. Too many women act as enablers for bad male behavior.


4 posted on 08/29/2009 6:53:38 PM PDT by Irish Rose (Will work for chocolate.)
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To: grundle

5 posted on 08/29/2009 6:54:16 PM PDT by Right Wing Assault
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To: grundle

This is all such BS. Just more attacking the “white male”. Such crap.


6 posted on 08/29/2009 6:56:00 PM PDT by big'ol_freeper ("Anyone pushing Romney must love socialism...Piss on Romney and his enablers!!" ~ Jim Robinson)
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To: grundle

As the front, so the back. Females of any age who pick male jerks, pick them because they get along - i.e., because they’re female jerks.

I laugh when I see how much effort goes into denying this simple, obvious, inescapable fact.


7 posted on 08/29/2009 6:57:44 PM PDT by Talisker (When you find a turtle on top of a fence post, you can be damn sure it didn't get there on it's own.)
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To: big'ol_freeper

Uh, jerks come in all colors. I think the point of the letter is not rewarding bad behavior.


8 posted on 08/29/2009 6:58:06 PM PDT by KJC1
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To: grundle

One woman’s jerk is another woman’s red-blooded American male.


9 posted on 08/29/2009 6:58:13 PM PDT by LongElegantLegs (You know how it is: you wait ages for a good sperm story and then they all come at once.)
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To: big'ol_freeper
This is all such BS. Just more attacking the “white male”.

Kind of a jerky remark there....

10 posted on 08/29/2009 7:03:00 PM PDT by freebilly ( No wonder all the left has a boner for Obama.... There's "Cialis" in "SoCIALISt")
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To: grundle

bttt


11 posted on 08/29/2009 7:04:23 PM PDT by Gondring (Paul Revere would have been flamed as a naysayer troll and told to go back to Boston.)
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To: grundle

Why Jerks Exist

Thought this was a fishing story...


12 posted on 08/29/2009 7:05:03 PM PDT by jessduntno (Privatization + Inter-State Sales + Individual Policies + Tort Reform = Healthcare Reform)
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To: LongElegantLegs

Yep. Ladies love outlaws.

parsy, who has the Outlaw Book Of Poetry, and wonders why that doesn’t work


13 posted on 08/29/2009 7:05:19 PM PDT by parsifal (Dare I mention the term common sense? Book of Vinnie - Chapter 58 Verse 1 (The Boomer Bible))
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To: grundle
What would like us to do Laura? Should we all live in a Concentration Camp?

Jerks Unite! Stop Jerk Bashing Today!

14 posted on 08/29/2009 7:05:52 PM PDT by BallyBill (Serial Hit-N-Run poster)
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To: grundle
It's amazing to me how many women don't teach their daughters how to protect themselves emotionally against guys who are out for one thing.

This isn't rocket science. A little self-respect on the part of young women and a few simple biology lessons about the male species goes a long way.

I taught my daughter what my grandmother taught me and believe me, there is a lot to be said for the societal rules that existed a hundred years ago.

15 posted on 08/29/2009 7:06:10 PM PDT by GiovannaNicoletta
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To: big'ol_freeper

Yikes! I think you just equated white males and jerks.

Not good.


16 posted on 08/29/2009 7:07:59 PM PDT by Jedidah
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To: LongElegantLegs
Crimimy. Got the name wrong. Been sitting next to my bed for years. Must be the "Bible" part that throwing me off. parsy, the hapless
17 posted on 08/29/2009 7:08:51 PM PDT by parsifal (Dare I mention the term common sense? Book of Vinnie - Chapter 58 Verse 1 (The Boomer Bible))
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To: Jedidah
I think you just equated white males and jerks.

There are no black jerks, right? ;-)

18 posted on 08/29/2009 7:10:24 PM PDT by Right Wing Assault
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To: parsifal

I’ll have to check that one out, it sounds interesting.


19 posted on 08/29/2009 7:13:15 PM PDT by LongElegantLegs (You know how it is: you wait ages for a good sperm story and then they all come at once.)
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To: grundle

Anybody seen those youthful pics of the good doc?


20 posted on 08/29/2009 7:23:15 PM PDT by tired1 (When the Devil eats you there's only one way out.)
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To: grundle
I don't think women like jerks because they are jerks, per se. It's that jerks tend to give an outward show of confidence, are unpredictable and a challenge for the woman. A jerk may seem like a man with many choices due to his indifferent ways. And people, including women, tend to want to have what they can't have.

The sad fact is that much of the mainstream dating advice given to young men doesn't work these days ('be nice', 'be courteous', 'be a gentleman'). Women tend to view this as wimpy behavior.

21 posted on 08/29/2009 7:32:32 PM PDT by Aikonaa
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To: Aikonaa

Well, it goes both ways. It’s an offer and demand issue. Many men tend to spoil unworthy women to the extreme, making all women expect more so out of a man than her girlfriend is already getting.

It is glaringly obvious that the “price” of overhyped gals and girls goes way up when men become so easy customers. Sadly this translates into so called “moderate men” and their tolerance for abortion, along with courthouses making crazy demands of living standards.

Few years back cell phones were not existent, but now it’s like part of divorce settlements: a cell phone service must be provided.

Our modern society has become completely absurd. It’s why it expects now to make a living without Carbon dioxide emissions.

As for women choosing jerks and other gross spitters, I will surmise that one must be a jerk to compromise on abortion with a b!tch... 2 peas in a pod.


22 posted on 08/29/2009 7:47:28 PM PDT by JudgemAll (control freaks, their world & their problem with my gun and my protecting my private party)
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To: Right Wing Assault

Black jerks? Oh, you don’t mean those who use their own self-hated color of skin to thrust it distastefuly at others in their faces, as a test, liking to call themselves by the N word even - and persecuting even more so other blacks with it as a “private” right?


23 posted on 08/29/2009 7:55:12 PM PDT by JudgemAll (control freaks, their world & their problem with my gun and my protecting my private party)
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To: grundle
Speaking strictly for myself, young girls and women have two competing urges. They hate boredom but they instinctively yearn for safety. Their hatred for boredom is why they seek out guys they find "exciting" and this is often "bad boys" and "jerks". They also know tough-talking "bad boys" offer at least the illusion of safety.

In addition, by being around jerks and bad boys, women can adapt the moral posturing of vocally condemning what they secretly enjoy. They tsk tsk men while winking their approval. Women then use their moral posturing to "win" arguments, only they find the jerks and the bad boys don't really care if they lose arguments - they'll just do as they please anyway. Some women are turned on even more when they are mistreated, odd as that seems.

I think many women see themselves as lion tamers trying to tame the foul beast that is man. They see no need to seek lions who are already tame so they must fight over the untamed so as to justify their rightful place in a civil society.

So, in short, girls and women are never going to agree to stop being attracted to jerks and bad boys because those are the sort of guys that provide the excitement they crave and allow them to establish themselves as morally superior, which then increases their self-esteem.

So, Dr. Laura and others, it's never going to happen because women don't want it to happen. Who wants a bunch of boring, polite, civil men? Certainly not most women in the 15-35 age group.

24 posted on 08/29/2009 7:55:27 PM PDT by OrangeHoof (YES WE CAN have a Depression.)
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To: grundle

Uhhh, not for nothin’ as they used to say in my neighborhood but jerks also come in the female of the species as well.


25 posted on 08/29/2009 7:56:54 PM PDT by OpeEdMunkey (ObamaCare...there's some change ya didn't count on.)
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To: grundle

Fully 50% of the population, both male and female has an IQ lower than 100. Solution? Give IQ tests and sterilize those that fall under 100. These idiots get to vote, drive cars, move next door to you and worse of all they breathe...


26 posted on 08/29/2009 8:01:40 PM PDT by Cacique (quos Deus vult perdere, prius dementat ( Islamia Delenda Est ))
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To: OrangeHoof

So nothing has changed in 50 years, and so there is nothing to change back?

Did you think that she is looking for 100% compliance with every female?


27 posted on 08/29/2009 8:02:42 PM PDT by ansel12 (Romney (guns)"instruments of destruction with the sole purpose of hunting down and killing people")
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To: grundle

A good majority of jerks are “infiltrating” abusive con artists, ie. eg.

Boy meets girl; happy girl starts talking; jerk “jokingly” makes fun of her facial hair that she does not have; she responds and giggles, and now she is stuck and caught.

It’s all in the entrapment game. The men who let her free often lose her in her dreaminess, and she thinks of them as the tree of Eden, a provider to violate, not a leader who leads. It’s also all in the rhythm of conversations, much like a hunting dog will respect the jogger of the family but not grandma’s calls to heel.


28 posted on 08/29/2009 8:03:47 PM PDT by JudgemAll (control freaks, their world & their problem with my gun and my protecting my private party)
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To: Aikonaa

The sad fact is that much of the mainstream dating advice given to young men doesn’t work these days (’be nice’, ‘be courteous’, ‘be a gentleman’). Women tend to view this as wimpy behavior.

Thus women seem to fall for lines like:
Yo, bimbo!
I’m Mr Sleaze
I’m what you want and I’m what you need.

The above I made up as a parody, however it is so close to the mark it is scary. An acqaintance of mine (socially and professionally) fell for such a line (the jerk is a VP at a Fortune 500), and is now stuck with a control freak. I can;t call her a friend, since she is not allowed to have friends.


29 posted on 08/29/2009 8:06:15 PM PDT by Fred Hayek (From this point forward the Democratic Party will be referred to as the Communist Party)
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To: JudgemAll
Many men tend to spoil unworthy women to the extreme, making all women expect more so out of a man than her girlfriend is already getting.

This is a extremely unhealthy dynamic. When you let someone walk all over you, they lose all respect for you. But pampering women, showering them with gifts and putting them on a pedestal is still what much of mainstream society tells men to do. Reciprocity is the key thing in any human relationship. Men should expect no less.

30 posted on 08/29/2009 8:09:42 PM PDT by Aikonaa
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To: Cacique

IQ is not fixed, however. Some do grow up and others grow down or even drag down, no matter their IQ. Across time the overall IQ of today might be lower or higher, as there is such a thing as cursed generations too.

Jerks and language selection is more at issue. Common sense would be more accurate in checking on desirability.


31 posted on 08/29/2009 8:14:28 PM PDT by JudgemAll (control freaks, their world & their problem with my gun and my protecting my private party)
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To: Right Wing Assault
Larson is the best.

That one make me laugh every time.

32 posted on 08/29/2009 8:16:46 PM PDT by right way right
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To: OrangeHoof
1. Some women are weird enough to think the jerk is that way because he's a dominant male, thus good material. 2. If he treats her bad but treats others worse, they may think he's protecting them from even worse. 3. If they are raised in a whole junky, jerky crowd, that behavior is normal. Decent, civilized guys are the idiots who are assumed to be beat up or killed. ObamaCare Jokes Obama Jokes
33 posted on 08/29/2009 8:19:24 PM PDT by tbw2 (Freeper sci-fi - "Humanity's Edge" - on amazon.com)
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To: OrangeHoof

Good post.


34 posted on 08/29/2009 8:21:00 PM PDT by chasio649 ( Palin 2012...'nuff said!)
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To: Right Wing Assault

L O L !


35 posted on 08/29/2009 8:32:39 PM PDT by Liberty Valance (Keep a simple manner for a happy life :o)
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To: OrangeHoof

You hit the nail on the head. I just hope young men realize these facts of life early on.


36 posted on 08/29/2009 8:34:10 PM PDT by Aikonaa
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To: ansel12
Did you think that she is looking for 100% compliance with every female?

I think she's smarter than that but this teacher/letter-writer may not be.

For centuries older women have tsk tsked what they see younger women doing even though many of them did the same thing when they were younger.

I don't think that's ever going to change.

37 posted on 08/29/2009 8:37:55 PM PDT by OrangeHoof (YES WE CAN have a Depression.)
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To: Aikonaa
It wasn't until I was in my 40s that I understood what women meant when they'd say I was "too good" for them. It meant I wasn't bad enough for them. They wanted me to be "bad" so they could posture as "good" by comparison. By failing to cede to them the moral high ground, I was stopping them from attaining the position that made them feel most comfortable - someone who was publicly "good" but could be "bad" in private. The good persona allows them to feel socially acceptable but the bad (or naughty) is what they find exciting and intimate.

It almost sounds like I'm endorsing male jerkness, which is 100% against my natural inclination. I'm just saying this is my personal theory on why women are so contradictory to what they claim to want. They want you to find their inner "bad girl" and the only way to get there is to behave even worse so they can keep up the illusion of being "good".

38 posted on 08/29/2009 8:53:02 PM PDT by OrangeHoof (YES WE CAN have a Depression.)
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To: grundle

Male jerks exist because female jerks seek them out to date. Birds of a feather and all.


39 posted on 08/29/2009 8:56:02 PM PDT by Trod Upon (Obama: Making the Carter malaise look good. Misery Index in 3...2...1)
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To: grundle
For a moment there I thought this article was about Steve Martin.
40 posted on 08/29/2009 8:56:04 PM PDT by LuxMaker (The Constitution is a mere thing of wax in the hands of the judiciary, Thomas J 1819)
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To: OrangeHoof
I think she's smarter than that but this teacher/letter-writer may not be.

I think that everyone is, this was simply about adjusting an imbalance that has cropped up in the last couple of generations.

41 posted on 08/29/2009 9:07:05 PM PDT by ansel12 (Romney (guns)"instruments of destruction with the sole purpose of hunting down and killing people")
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To: OrangeHoof
Of course, there are ways to be fun and exciting to women without being a jerk. However, the key thing really is not to become anyone's doormat. Expect and demand reciprocity and respect.

Another thing which relates to this dynamic is that many males are nowadays afraid to express their sexuality to women in a healthy way. Anything can be made into harassment these days. Yet, like you say, women expect their sexual partners to be 'bad'.

42 posted on 08/29/2009 9:09:11 PM PDT by Aikonaa
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To: grundle
But there's always the camoflaged jerk. The one who is the perfect gentleman until something doesn't go quite right and his true personality shines through.

I've only come along 1 jerk during my dating days and he was a real loser, for sure. He was ok at first and then my parents told me to end the friendship because I was becoming to distracted. (I was in high school.) I wasn't happy but reluctantly broke it off. The following 18 months was hell involving stalking, slashed tires, vandalism, harassing phone calls, threat with a switchblade....

Some people are nice until you tell them, "no."

43 posted on 08/29/2009 9:37:15 PM PDT by TNdandelion (I'd rather have FedEx run my healthcare than USPS.)
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To: Right Wing Assault
New to me - -

SAVING IT!

44 posted on 08/29/2009 9:37:27 PM PDT by skeptoid
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To: GiovannaNicoletta
I taught my daughter what my grandmother taught me

Never leave the house without a large hat pin?

45 posted on 08/29/2009 10:05:28 PM PDT by ApplegateRanch (The Great Obamanation of Desolation, sitting in the Oval Office, where he ought not...)
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To: jessduntno
I have to chuckle sometimes, before the Feminist craze of the 60's that "freed" women from men, there were very few jerks...The feminazi route freed men to act as they pleased and women to say "yes" to jerks and if there was a problem, well, we had abortions...

Women are the fools that let jerks abound...We always had the power, but the younger generation didn't know that...Men were gentlemen for a reason, if they weren't the gals didn't give them the time of day..

I hate to say it but females are the problem...and the mess will continue until they wake up... Goat Granny (female that had a great husband)

If I were a guy, with some of todays females, I think I would become a hermit. Guys get screwed all around, especially in the court system with divorce. Scripture says better to live in the corner of an attic than with a troublesome woman...(I think that is in proverbs.)

46 posted on 08/29/2009 10:24:47 PM PDT by goat granny
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To: OrangeHoof

it’s never going to happen because women don’t want it to happen. Who wants a bunch of boring, polite, civil men? Certainly not most women in the 15-35 age group.
***Nice guys finish last.


47 posted on 08/29/2009 11:23:20 PM PDT by Kevmo (So America gets what America deserves - the destruction of its Constitution. ~Leo Donofrio, 6/1/09)
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To: grundle

“Now back to saving the world, one teenager at a time.”

The guy’s point might be well taken, but that’s a pretty self-aggrandizing sign off. I wonder if this letter is real.


48 posted on 08/30/2009 2:59:42 AM PDT by jocon307 ( We're dealing with COMMUNISTS here, folks!)
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To: ApplegateRanch

LOL!!!


49 posted on 08/30/2009 4:36:17 AM PDT by GiovannaNicoletta
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To: big'ol_freeper

Exactly.


50 posted on 09/06/2009 10:42:28 PM PDT by TheFourthMagi
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