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ACORN closes Philadelphia office, fires staff
My twisted mind | September 18, 2009 | xjcsa

Posted on 09/18/2009 11:53:40 AM PDT by xjcsa

ACORN CEO Bertha Lewis announced today the closure of the organization's Philadelphia office and the termination of its Philadelphia-based employees after evidence surfaced of a pervasive judgmental attitude toward, and discriminatory treatment of, citizens involved in the sex industry, and especially the youth portion of the industry.

"Reports have been circulating that 'mystery shoppers' posing as a sex worker and her supervisor approached our Philadelphia office seeking assistance in obtaining a mortgage to purchase a location for their business," said Lewis. "Our internal investigation indicates that these employees not only refused to assist the young entrepreneurs, but even alerted the police to their activities. Such actions likely had racial motivations, and cannot be tolerated by our organization."

Lewis continued, "These same mystery shoppers conducted tests in many of our other offices, all of which passed with flying colors - especially the San Diego office, which scored extra service points for offering to assist in the transportation and smuggling portions of the business.

Lewis went on to explain that, had such a business startup been successful, it would have resulted in better-paying jobs for the child sex slave sector of their constituency, and increased membership dues paid to her organization.

"The fact that the mystery customers were not actually involved in starting up such a business does not change the fact that our offices are expected to help people in situations like this, not turn them in to the racist police. We will be conducting extensive staff training in the coming days to ensure that our clients receive the highest level of service, without regard to the legality or illegality of their endeavors," said Lewis.

Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA), who had been highly critical of the Philadelphia office's refusal to assist in the child brothel startup, said, "I think I speak for the entire sex trade industry in welcoming the positive steps ACORN has taken today. Customers and providers alike - both of which roles I have filled from time to time - rely on a robust and healthy industry, and that needs to include a certain number of young people, especially of international origin."

ACORN indicates that its Philadelphia office will remain closed until they are able to hire replacement staff.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: acorn; chat; layoffs; philadelphia; satire
Yes, this is a vanity satire.
1 posted on 09/18/2009 11:53:41 AM PDT by xjcsa
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To: xjcsa

lol


2 posted on 09/18/2009 11:55:31 AM PDT by GeronL (http://libertyfic.proboards.com ............. http://tyrannysentinel.blogspot.com)
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To: xjcsa

Almost.


3 posted on 09/18/2009 11:55:48 AM PDT by WakeUpAndVote
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To: xjcsa

Bertha Lewis is thinking “he read my mind” right now...


4 posted on 09/18/2009 11:57:07 AM PDT by thefoundersrock
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To: xjcsa

Too literate to have been legit...


5 posted on 09/18/2009 11:59:04 AM PDT by jessduntno ("Integrity is the lifeblood of democracy. Deceit is a poison in it." - Ted Kennedy (D-HELL)
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To: xjcsa

Nicely done.


6 posted on 09/18/2009 12:01:55 PM PDT by OneWingedShark (Q: Why am I here? A: To do Justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.)
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To: xjcsa

Actually, it is more like a psychic vision. With the money drying up faster than Lake Travis, visions of future annoucements.


7 posted on 09/18/2009 12:02:01 PM PDT by Marty62 (former Marty60)
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To: xjcsa

After the dems deal with acorn, health care, and cap-n-tax... next step is sex industry reform. Probably could be a need for a public option (lead to single payer)... and after acorn re-tools, opportunity will knock again.


8 posted on 09/18/2009 12:02:35 PM PDT by C210N (A patriot for a Conservative Renaissance!)
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To: visualops

Makes me laugh a happy laugh this news does.


9 posted on 09/18/2009 12:03:54 PM PDT by TheStickman
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To: xjcsa

Oh how I hope they have a tape from this office to show how Bertha lies.


10 posted on 09/18/2009 12:10:26 PM PDT by chris_bdba
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To: xjcsa
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
11 posted on 09/18/2009 12:12:05 PM PDT by Cyber Ninja (His legacy is a stain OnTheDress)
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To: xjcsa

ahh, how we all long for the mid-80’s when the Philly Cops used to drop bombs on them...


12 posted on 09/18/2009 12:16:14 PM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: xjcsa

Heck sounded just like resident (I mean acorn)


13 posted on 09/18/2009 12:40:28 PM PDT by BornToBeAmerican (We the people, ..... never)
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To: TheStickman

I wish I could say the same, but it’s not good enough.

I want them arrested, investigated, and charged with RICO violations.

I want every last stinking politician who has associated with them in any way, including the community organizer in chief, investigated by the FBI and charged with RICO.

The time has come. No more federal mafia of the united states.


14 posted on 09/18/2009 12:47:27 PM PDT by chris37
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To: xjcsa

are you sure bawney fwank DIDN”T say that?


15 posted on 09/18/2009 1:42:52 PM PDT by longfellow (Bill Maher, the 21st hijacker.)
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To: xjcsa

ROTFLOL! Great! Especially the Barney Frank testimony! Can’t stop laughing!


16 posted on 09/18/2009 3:19:46 PM PDT by little jeremiah (Asato Ma Sad Gamaya Tamaso Ma Jyotir Gamaya)
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