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Nick at Nite Blight
Townhall.com ^ | September 25, 2009 | Brent Bozell

Posted on 09/25/2009 6:09:03 AM PDT by Kaslin

During his 20-year reign at Disney, Michael Eisner's commitment to family values was viewed with suspicion by many. The worries apparently were well-founded. His animation studio, Tornante, has a new clay-animated cartoon on Nick at Nite called "Glenn Martin, DDS." Eisner and Nick at Nite executive Cyma Zarghami claim it's a show for the entire family.

Even TV critics -- the crowd always wanting to applaud anything pushing the cultural envelope -- think it's outrageous to make that claim. "You know you're in for a bumpy ride when the first joke has to do with killing prostitutes," wrote Mike Hale of the New York Times. He wanted out of the dental chair when a tasteless joke about a "blood bath" of a circumcision by a "rabbi with Parkinson's" arrived.

Yes, this is the same Nick at Nite whose original 1985 lineup included "The Donna Reed Show" and "Dennis the Menace" reruns.

"Glenn Martin, DDS" has been heavily promoted across the Nickelodeon family of cable channels -- as well as on the raunchy Comedy Central network, a much more appropriate home for it. The plot centers around Dr. Martin's idea of putting his family -- wife, teenage son, almost-teenage daughter and dog -- in an RV to bring greater togetherness, but it's really just a plot device for allegedly hilarious on-the-road humor.

One much-advertised episode is "The Grossest Show on Earth," where Conor, the hapless 13-year-old son of the dentist, finds a new career -- as a circus act where his head disappears into the rear end of the elephant, which the elephant enjoys immensely. Audience members are shown vomiting into their popcorn.

This might make for family viewing at the Eisner estate. What about your home? This new circus act followed several failures. We're shown the blood and gore of Conor throwing a knife into the eye of the knife-thrower, and Conor throwing a bucket of gasoline on a smoking clown who burns to death. Scenes like this don't exactly ring with Eisner's promise of a show that "re-envisions the classic family sitcom" and "delivers humor in a mature, sophisticated manner."

In a different episode, Conor consults a spirit guide in search of "major boobage." The guide promises clarity, to which Conor replies, "I don't need clarity. I need Serenity -- and I need to see her naked!" When his wish is granted, the guide tells Conor to "get up on that."

Another episode focuses on Dr. Martin helping a Mafioso with a bad tooth. Introduced to Mafia members in a club, he asks if the women beside them are their wives. A mobster berates him: "Don't talk about our wives in front of the whores!" A woman named Crystal tells him she's "no relation to Billy Crystal, although I have faked an orgasm in a diner."

One shocked parent protested on Metacritic.com that "Nickelodeon is supposed to be a children's network, and they have this on during the dinner hour? We live in the Pacific time zone, and I was exposed to this while making dinner for my daughters, who are 5 and 7, and they had just finished watching 'The Penguins of Madagascar.'"

That's not an accident. What is truly revolting is that Nick at Nite is really hoping young children will stay for the orgasm jokes. The show's website actually boasts to that effect. "The premiere week posted double-digit gains for Nick at Nite over last year's like time period with kid, tween and teen demos ... The premiere episodes held 89 percent of its lead-in ratings ("The Penguins of Madagascar") with kids 2-11."

You really wonder how in the world these entertainment executives can look at themselves in the mirror.

Eisner's awful judgment began with his inspiration for the show: a fellow Disney executive's dog had a rear end that was "beyond disgusting." He explained, "When the dog was in the room, you just couldn't even look at the dog because you would be obsessed with this part of the anatomy. And when the dog turned around and walked away from you -- it was like, please. So I just wanted this dog in a television show."

The family dog on "Glenn Martin, DDS" has a large red anus. They're so proud of it that they highlight it on the show's website. The New York Times reports that Nickelodeon commemorated Eisner's "inspiration" by handing out plastic toy dogs that excrete brown jelly beans.

It's amazing that Eisner never tried this "mature, sophisticated" schtick with Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck. This man truly disgusts.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial
KEYWORDS: bozell; eisner; hollywood; liberalmedia; michaeleisner; nickelodeon; trashtv

1 posted on 09/25/2009 6:09:04 AM PDT by Kaslin
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To: Kaslin

Just more evidence that you have to monitor carefully what your children watch on tv nowadays. You cannot rely on a channel that bills itself as child-friendly to have suitable programming for your children.

Heck, these days even I as an adult watch little tv. Give me my DVDs and Turner Classic Movies.


2 posted on 09/25/2009 6:15:18 AM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: Kaslin

It was under his watch that Gay Day at Disney was instituted. Also, questionable scenes in some of the animated movies also were under his purview. We went to
Disneyworld in 1983l before he took over Disney, and it was like magic. I thought I had died and gone to heaven. We went back in 1985, 1989, and 1991, after he took over, and there was definitely something different about it. The workers weren’t as courteous, and there was just a different atmosphere.


3 posted on 09/25/2009 6:16:14 AM PDT by murron (Proud Marine Mom)
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To: Kaslin

Eisner is a pig. He even looks like a pig.


4 posted on 09/25/2009 6:16:49 AM PDT by AAABEST (And the light shineth in darkness: and the darkness did not comprehend it)
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To: Kaslin

This show is unbelievably disgusting. There was heavy promotion for it over the summer, so our kids wanted to watch it. They had it set to DVR, so it recorded one night after they were in bed so I watched it to see what it was all about. There was a scene where the dad walks in on the teenage son who is having “a little private time” in his room, the wife penciling in sex with her husband on her calendar, and the dog constantly licking his... you know.

On a supposedly “kids” network!

Needless to say, we were shocked and horrified and have banned this show in our home.


5 posted on 09/25/2009 6:17:24 AM PDT by FarRightFanatic (It wasn't an election. It was a socialist coup.)
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To: Kaslin

Yes, it’s that bad.
They even have to add an annoying laugh track...just in case you don’t know what ‘funny’ is. (and their idea of funny is waaaa-aaay different from my family.)
My beeber was stuned when I saw this. It’s more appropriate for C/C’s Adult Swim, late at nite. Just tacky, vile, and gross.
Nick is really pushing this show...I hope it fails.


6 posted on 09/25/2009 6:18:09 AM PDT by ozark hilljilly (Ignore us at your peril.)
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To: FarRightFanatic

Block Nick at Nite from your TV.


7 posted on 09/25/2009 6:19:29 AM PDT by Kaslin (Acronym for 0bama: One Big Ass Mistake America)
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To: FarRightFanatic

We call tv programs like this “soul killers” in our home.
Absolutely nothing of any value in them, all they do is suck the joy out of your life.


8 posted on 09/25/2009 6:22:52 AM PDT by ozark hilljilly (Ignore us at your peril.)
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To: Kaslin
"The premiere week posted double-digit gains for Nick at Nite over last year's like time period ...

From 1 to 11 is double digit.............

9 posted on 09/25/2009 6:23:42 AM PDT by Red Badger (The Zero has more airtime than Michael Jordan...........)
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To: ozark hilljilly
And I thought Ren & Stimpy was bad................
10 posted on 09/25/2009 6:24:38 AM PDT by Red Badger (The Zero has more airtime than Michael Jordan...........)
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To: Kaslin

Wow, I saw an episode the other day and wasn’t shocked at all. It wasn’t bad in the slightest. I must have missed these ones.

It wasn’t a show worth watching again though.


11 posted on 09/25/2009 6:28:53 AM PDT by rwfromkansas ("Carve your name on hearts, not marble." - C.H. Spurgeon)
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To: Kaslin

Well, yet another “kid friendly, family” network goes down the drain. Too bad.

It has gotten so that I will watch only one channel with my three year-old: PBS Sprout. It is what children’s programming SHOULD be, and the kind of thing most parents expect from a network that targets the toddler - 8 year old demographic.

It is the only channel I allow her to watch.


12 posted on 09/25/2009 6:30:51 AM PDT by Skooz (Gabba Gabba we accept you we accept you one of us Gabba Gabba we accept you we accept you one of us)
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To: Kaslin

This is the kind of stuff that should be on Comedy Central, not Nick. Disgusting.


13 posted on 09/25/2009 6:32:42 AM PDT by reagan_fanatic (Hope....Change...Bullsh*t)
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To: Kaslin

Wow.
We are so blessed to have had the foresight 4 years ago to turn off the TV.

It makes life very simple to not have these awful people barging into our home spewing their filth onto our child via the blue screen.

Try it. It’s really simple. Just remove it from your life. You’ll be so happy you did. Your children will be smarter, better adjusted, more physically fit and better- mannered. You’ll have time to talk to them, they’ll have time to listen.

It’s so simple. You don’t have to be a TV slave.

Mrs. AV


14 posted on 09/25/2009 6:35:25 AM PDT by Atomic Vomit (http://www.cafepress.com/aroostookbeauty/358829)
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To: Red Badger
And I thought Ren & Stimpy was bad..........

Ahhhh, the good ol' days. ;^P

15 posted on 09/25/2009 6:35:49 AM PDT by ozark hilljilly (Ignore us at your peril.)
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To: Atomic Vomit

Same thing here.
Many years ago I got cable for the family for Christmas. It was “outta here” by April.

My kids were much better off. We would play games at night and they became pretty good poker players as a result. It served them well in college.


16 posted on 09/25/2009 6:47:23 AM PDT by super7man
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To: Kaslin

86 year old Sumner Redstone owns all this (filth?): Viacom, CBS, DreamWorks, Paramount, Comedy Central, BET, Spike, TV Land, Nick at Nite, Nickelodeon, Noggin, MTV, VH1, MTV2, CMT.


17 posted on 09/25/2009 6:48:00 AM PDT by iowamark (certified by Michael Steele as "ugly and incendiary")
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To: murron

He’s gay,Jim!


18 posted on 09/25/2009 6:53:49 AM PDT by Dr. Ursus
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To: Kaslin

I’m not a prude, but I do think kids should be allowed to be kids for as long as possible. Sheesh, have you ever seen what’s on the ABC “Family” Channel since ABC has taken over?


19 posted on 09/25/2009 7:33:38 AM PDT by thecabal (Destroy Progressivism)
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To: Kaslin

I’ll bet this show was produced by homosexuals..


20 posted on 09/25/2009 7:39:54 AM PDT by JSDude1 (www.wethepeopleindiana.org (Tea Party Member-Proud), www.travishankins.com (R- IN 09 2010!))
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To: Kaslin

running family-friendly fare on your network only earns you wrath and derision from Liberals at your next Hollywood or Manhattan cocktail party. (I am sure that Joan of Arcadia was done in by libs jumping Les Moonves at cocktail parties, beating him up because it was just encouraging “those God people”)


21 posted on 09/25/2009 7:54:35 AM PDT by Buckeye McFrog
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To: Dr. Ursus

I always thought he was.


22 posted on 09/25/2009 8:20:24 AM PDT by murron (Proud Marine Mom)
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To: ozark hilljilly

It says a lot about the state of this country when you have to start monitoring “children’s” show. When my granddaughters come over, they want us to turn the TV on to Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, Disney Channel, and whatever other children’s networks there are. Before we do, we watch a little of the show, and we are shocked at what is being put out there for kids today. We won’t let them watch any of the shows. I’ll put on a DVD, such as an old Disney movie, or just recently I bought Milo and Otis for them. They loved it.


23 posted on 09/25/2009 8:24:20 AM PDT by murron (Proud Marine Mom)
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To: Skooz

Try Boomerang. All classic cartoons that we grew up with. Heavy on the Hanna-Barbara shows. My daughter loves the old Scooby Doo shows. I enjoy watching old Flintstones and Jetsons, and the Banana Splits.


24 posted on 09/25/2009 11:07:12 AM PDT by fredhead (Liberals think globally, reason rectally, act idiotically.)
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To: murron

“It was under his watch that Gay Day at Disney was instituted.”

I’m no Eisner fan, but to be fair, this is not an official Disney activity instituted by Disney. I honestly think they would rather not have it going on because they know there are lots of families like mine who actually calendar those weekends to avoid Disney parks. (I feel bad for the poor unsuspecting families who get an eyeful in the park on those days.) But Disney knows they’ll be sued for big bucks if they do anything to stop it.


25 posted on 09/25/2009 12:04:32 PM PDT by GOPrincess
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To: Skooz

Thank goodness for DVDs. We have all sorts of fun stuff like THE DONNA REED SHOW, OZZIE AND HARRIET, THE WALTONS, and other classic old family shows on DVD — my kids have pretty much grown up watching stuff like that and Turner Classic Movies rather than “new” TV.


26 posted on 09/25/2009 12:07:35 PM PDT by GOPrincess
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To: GOPrincess

I remember when this first happened. For many years other groups, such as the Boy Scouts, tried to have special days at the park, and Disney Corp. wouldn’t allow it. In the first few years that Gay Day was first instituted, if my memory serves me correctly, it was advertised on the Disney web sites, and then they thought better of it and took it down. There was a book that came out in the 90’s with the name Mouse in the title that goes into a lot of behind the scenes goings-on at the Disney Corp.


27 posted on 09/25/2009 12:23:40 PM PDT by murron (Proud Marine Mom)
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To: Skooz

I like Noggin myself, especially “The Upside Down Show” and “Max And Ruby”.

I really need to get married and father a child so I’ll have a good excuse to watch these shows.


28 posted on 09/25/2009 2:49:44 PM PDT by murdoog ("Aim high. Shoot straight. Praise the Lord. Audit the FED." Gary North)
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