Skip to comments.
Some D@mn Fine Obama Jokes...
October 5, 2009
| Unknown
Posted on 10/05/2009 5:47:26 PM PDT by DogByte6RER
- Q: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes.
- Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment?
A: It stands between him and the First.
- Q: What's the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp?
A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.
- Q: What's the difference between Greta Van Susteren and Barack Obama?
A: Greta only talks out of one side of her mouth.
- Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
- Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One’s full of tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for prisoners.
- Q: What's the difference between a large pizza and the typical Obama backer?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.
- Q: What's the difference between Simba and Obama?
A: Simba is an African lion while Obama is a lyin' African.
- Q: If Pelosi and Obama were in a boat and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!!
- Barack Obama: He has what it takes, to take what you've got!
- Barack Obama's campaign slogan, "Yes we can" has become, "Yes you will!"
- No one wants to see GM’s new convertible, the Pelosi, with its top down!
- The liberals have asked us to give Obama time. Would...25 to life be appropriate
TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Government; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: 111th; bho; bho44; chat; congress; democrats; humor; jokes; messiah; obama; obamariddles; thegodwhobleeds; unsourcedemail; vanity; villageidiot
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-50, 51-72 next last
My thnaks to Don. G. of Murrieta who sent these to me.
To: potlatch; ntnychik; Smartass; Boazo; Alamo-Girl; PhilDragoo; The Spirit Of Allegiance; JLO; ...
2
posted on
10/05/2009 5:51:02 PM PDT
by
bitt
(You cant make a weak man strong by making a strong man weak. (Abraham Lincoln))
To: DogByte6RER
My thnaks for another vanity post....
3
posted on
10/05/2009 5:52:07 PM PDT
by
GSP.FAN
(These are the times that try men's souls.)
To: DogByte6RER
Pretty funny, hey, Barry?
4
posted on
10/05/2009 5:52:12 PM PDT
by
mlizzy
("It is impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy" --Mother Teresa of Calcutta.)
To: DogByte6RER
5
posted on
10/05/2009 5:52:47 PM PDT
by
Cicero
(Marcus Tullius)
To: DogByte6RER
6
posted on
10/05/2009 5:53:45 PM PDT
by
lmr
(God punishes Conservatives by making them argue with fools.)
To: bitt
Lol, thanks bitt. Gave me a laugh!
7
posted on
10/05/2009 5:54:30 PM PDT
by
potlatch
To: DogByte6RER
i would like to see the pelosi with its top up, if you know what i mean
To: DogByte6RER
Thanks for the laugh — emailing them to everyone I know.
To: DogByte6RER
10
posted on
10/05/2009 5:55:34 PM PDT
by
Jet Jaguar
(A mob of one.)
To: DogByte6RER
Here's one I made up myself, so be kind fellow Freepers. I'm a bleeder.
Q: Do you know why Obama flew to Copenhagen?
A: Because he decided it was too far to walk.
Ka-ching
11
posted on
10/05/2009 5:58:23 PM PDT
by
Robwin
To: GSP.FAN
Hey, buddy... Be on the look out for those posting police, ya don't want to mess with 'em...
12
posted on
10/05/2009 5:58:26 PM PDT
by
lmr
(God punishes Conservatives by making them argue with fools.)
To: DogByte6RER
Hilarious...thanks for making me laugh.
13
posted on
10/05/2009 6:02:52 PM PDT
by
IMissPresidentReagan
(Being brainwashed or mentally deranged is the only way anyone could think BHO is good for USA)
To: DogByte6RER
14
posted on
10/05/2009 6:03:07 PM PDT
by
Batman11
(Obama will dispatch skittle $hitting unicorns around the world to bring peace and prosperity to all!)
To: DogByte6RER
- Q: If Pelosi and Obama were in a boat and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America!!
Indeed!
15
posted on
10/05/2009 6:05:21 PM PDT
by
Las Vegas Ron
(Obama's Blackberry, who's on the other end?)
To: GSP.FAN
My thnaks for another vanity post....Yer wcelome
16
posted on
10/05/2009 6:07:11 PM PDT
by
Las Vegas Ron
(Obama's Blackberry, who's on the other end?)
To: mlizzy
Man, she is one big ugly woman. Did she play linebacker in college?
Comment #18 Removed by Moderator
To: DogByte6RER
The Greta one was hysterical
To: lmr
20
posted on
10/05/2009 6:14:24 PM PDT
by
GSP.FAN
(These are the times that try men's souls.)
To: DogByte6RER
What does Obama and Osama have in common? They both have friends that bombed the Pentagon.
21
posted on
10/05/2009 6:15:25 PM PDT
by
sportutegrl
(If liberals could do math, they would be conservatives.)
To: DogByte6RER; All
Here’s a limerick I wrote:
There now is a POTUS Barak
With the brains of a celery stalk
A post-racial guy
Giving bottomless pie
To constituents dumb as a rock
22
posted on
10/05/2009 6:15:57 PM PDT
by
rlmorel
(Obama, The Flatulence of One Thousand Black Dogs After Eating Boiled Eggs Be Upon Him...)
To: RoshYisrael
23
posted on
10/05/2009 6:16:37 PM PDT
by
alarm rider
(The left always tell you who they fear the most. What are they telling you now?)
To: lmr
24
posted on
10/05/2009 6:17:18 PM PDT
by
rlmorel
(Obama, The Flatulence of One Thousand Black Dogs After Eating Boiled Eggs Be Upon Him...)
To: DogByte6RER
A woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job.
The foreman frowned and said, “I have to ask you this; “Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”
“Well, as a matter of fact, I have!” she replied.
“I’ve been divorced three times, owned 2 Plymouths, and I voted for Obama.”
Tip o’the hat to Rodney
Barack Obama is an old Kenyan word for Jimmy Carter.
Tip o’the hat to Tyler
Obama doesn’t want terrorists tortured. He wants to torture American taxpayers instead.
Tip o’the hat to Kenneth
Why doesn’t Obama pray?
It’s impossible to read the teleprompter with your eyes closed.
Tip o’the hat to Scott
New Barack Channel (NBC)
Another Barack Channel (ABC)
My Seriously New Barack Channel (MSNBC)
What do you call the US after four years of Obama and the Liberal ccongress?
An Obama nation.
Tip o’the hat to Michael
Q. What will the difference be between President Obama and Karl Marx?
A. Karl Marx had way more experience.
Tip o’the hat to Michael
All from:
http://barackobamajokes.googlepages.com/
In addition a favorite I saw on FR a few days ago about a bumper sticker a poster saw years ago... “If I knew then what I know now, I would have picked my own damned cotton”
/semi racist jokes.
25
posted on
10/05/2009 6:18:50 PM PDT
by
lovesdogs
(10/05/09 - 1091 days left until obama is toast/391 until midterms.)
To: DogByte6RER
The biggest joke to me is even the libs are turning against him. That's a hoot!
See below from DU. I think they are already tired of Obama and we are tired of Bush/McCain. We might finally have something in common. Government out of control.
#1 Voting Obama in 2012: Not An Option. Toasterlad Oct-05-09 05:52 PM
#2 (same thread) I'm still trying to give him a year before going down that road but it is becoming more difficult.
To: DogByte6RER
thank you
and i thought jimmah cartoon was humorless.
27
posted on
10/05/2009 6:45:12 PM PDT
by
genghis
To: DogByte6RER
28
posted on
10/05/2009 6:46:25 PM PDT
by
OrangeHoof
(What's the difference between Obama and Hitler? Hitler wrote his own book.)
To: DogByte6RER
29
posted on
10/05/2009 6:46:35 PM PDT
by
nomad
To: RoshYisrael
Man, she is one big ugly woman. Did she play linebacker in college?
The butt that launched a thousand quips.
30
posted on
10/05/2009 6:48:19 PM PDT
by
Iron Munro
(I carry a gun because Im too young to die and too old to take a beating.)
To: alarm rider
Defensive end.Wide...
I can't say it!!! D-:
31
posted on
10/05/2009 6:48:55 PM PDT
by
BradyLS
(DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
To: OrangeHoof
What's the difference between Obama and Hitler? Hitler wrote his own book. What's another difference between Obama and Hitler?
Hitler got the Olympics to come to his country.
32
posted on
10/05/2009 6:52:28 PM PDT
by
Iron Munro
(I carry a gun because Im too young to die and too old to take a beating.)
To: Iron Munro
33
posted on
10/05/2009 6:53:08 PM PDT
by
tioga
(Drip, Drip, Drip.........the ACORNS are falling.)
To: DogByte6RER
34
posted on
10/05/2009 6:54:36 PM PDT
by
WaterBoard
(Eventually, Socialists run out of other peoples' money to spend.)
To: DogByte6RER
Leave Greta alone. She does a good job holding Obubba’s feet to the fire night after night.
35
posted on
10/05/2009 6:55:29 PM PDT
by
Rastus
To: DogByte6RER
To: Iron Munro
Good grief, not only is her butt big enough for a horse but she is bigger than he is. Isn’t he supposed to be about six foot three?
37
posted on
10/05/2009 7:05:05 PM PDT
by
RipSawyer
(Trying to reason with a leftist is like trying to catch sunshine in a fish net at midnight.)
To: WaterBoard
They need to strap one of these on that thang..... 
38
posted on
10/05/2009 7:06:15 PM PDT
by
Iron Munro
(I carry a gun because Im too young to die and too old to take a beating.)
To: Robwin
Copenhagen, one of the 57 states of smokeless tobacco.
39
posted on
10/05/2009 7:16:52 PM PDT
by
eldoradude
(Let's water the tree of liberty with THEIR blood...)
To: DogByte6RER
Q: What's the difference between a dead weasel and a dead pelosi?
A: Skid marks in front of the weasel.
Obama, outside his new GM covertible known as the pelosi, with the top down. He calls the Secret Service over for assistance. "Yes Sir," says the agent. Obama replies, "Hey man. I locked my keys in the car. Can you help me get them out?"
40
posted on
10/05/2009 7:21:39 PM PDT
by
eldoradude
(Let's water the tree of liberty with THEIR blood...)
To: DogByte6RER
41
posted on
10/05/2009 7:45:01 PM PDT
by
Bean Counter
(No, I am Jim Thompson!!)
To: oldskuulconserv
The Pelosi should also keep its bottom up—makes it easier to kick.
42
posted on
10/05/2009 7:47:21 PM PDT
by
ApplegateRanch
(If God didn't want a One Worlder hanging from every tree, He wouldn't have created rope)
To: Iron Munro
Geez, what a caboose! I didn’t need to see that.
43
posted on
10/05/2009 7:51:20 PM PDT
by
meatloaf
(Obama, Obozo ... what's the difference?)
To: humblegunner
Special referral to post #12.
Humble you ain't, which leads me to question your "gunner-ness" as well.
No wonder your pony ran away...it had horse sense.
44
posted on
10/05/2009 7:52:46 PM PDT
by
ApplegateRanch
(If God didn't want a One Worlder hanging from every tree, He wouldn't have created rope)
To: DogByte6RER
These are really lame. Sorry, the thread is a dud.
To: DogByte6RER
From a recent e-mail:
Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head.
In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white and might have to start working for a living, he called his doctor and told him of his problem.
The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately. After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Barack, and told him to drink it all.
Barack drank the concoction and replied, 'That tasted like bull shit!'
The doctor replied, 'It was, you were a quart low'.
46
posted on
10/05/2009 7:59:40 PM PDT
by
Think free or die
(The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money - M.Thatcher)
To: DogByte6RER
gonna have to memorize some of those
47
posted on
10/05/2009 8:06:47 PM PDT
by
adorno
(5)
To: Robwin
To: Think free or die
A quart low!
That’s funny!
49
posted on
10/05/2009 8:10:25 PM PDT
by
Boiler Plate
("Why be difficult, when with just a little more work, you can be impossible" Mom)
To: GSP.FAN
Vanities are an option You can stop on Your sidebar selections...
Maybe you need to clean up your side before criticizing the poster...
50
posted on
10/05/2009 8:15:36 PM PDT
by
Randy Larsen
( BTW, If I offend you! Please let me know, I may want to offend you again!)
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-50, 51-72 next last
Disclaimer:
Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual
posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its
management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the
exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson
