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Some D@mn Fine Obama Jokes...
October 5, 2009 | Unknown

Posted on 10/05/2009 5:47:26 PM PDT by DogByte6RER

- Q: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes?

A: His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes.

- Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment?

A: It stands between him and the First.

- Q: What's the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp?

A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.

- Q: What's the difference between Greta Van Susteren and Barack Obama?

A: Greta only talks out of one side of her mouth.

- Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?

A: A fund raiser.

- Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?

A: One’s full of tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for prisoners.

- Q: What's the difference between a large pizza and the typical Obama backer?

A: The pizza can feed a family of four.

- Q: What's the difference between Simba and Obama?

A: Simba is an African lion while Obama is a lyin' African.

- Q: If Pelosi and Obama were in a boat and it started to sink, who would be saved?

A: America!!

- Barack Obama: He has what it takes, to take what you've got!

- Barack Obama's campaign slogan, "Yes we can" has become, "Yes you will!"

- No one wants to see GM’s new convertible, the Pelosi, with its top down!

- The liberals have asked us to give Obama time. Would...25 to life be appropriate


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; Government; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections
KEYWORDS: 111th; bho; bho44; chat; congress; democrats; humor; jokes; messiah; obama; obamariddles; thegodwhobleeds; unsourcedemail; vanity; villageidiot
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My thnaks to Don. G. of Murrieta who sent these to me.
1 posted on 10/05/2009 5:47:27 PM PDT by DogByte6RER
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To: potlatch; ntnychik; Smartass; Boazo; Alamo-Girl; PhilDragoo; The Spirit Of Allegiance; JLO; ...

pingo


2 posted on 10/05/2009 5:51:02 PM PDT by bitt (“You can’t make a weak man strong by making a strong man weak.” (Abraham Lincoln))
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To: DogByte6RER

My thnaks for another vanity post....


3 posted on 10/05/2009 5:52:07 PM PDT by GSP.FAN (These are the times that try men's souls.)
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To: DogByte6RER


Pretty funny, hey, Barry?
4 posted on 10/05/2009 5:52:12 PM PDT by mlizzy ("It is impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy" --Mother Teresa of Calcutta.)
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To: DogByte6RER

Good ones.


5 posted on 10/05/2009 5:52:47 PM PDT by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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To: DogByte6RER

Hilarious!


6 posted on 10/05/2009 5:53:45 PM PDT by lmr (God punishes Conservatives by making them argue with fools.)
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To: bitt

Lol, thanks bitt. Gave me a laugh!


7 posted on 10/05/2009 5:54:30 PM PDT by potlatch
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Comment #8 Removed by Moderator

To: DogByte6RER

Thanks for the laugh — emailing them to everyone I know.


9 posted on 10/05/2009 5:55:16 PM PDT by EverOnward
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To: DogByte6RER

BTTT


10 posted on 10/05/2009 5:55:34 PM PDT by Jet Jaguar (A mob of one.)
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To: DogByte6RER
Here's one I made up myself, so be kind fellow Freepers. I'm a bleeder.

Q: Do you know why Obama flew to Copenhagen?

A: Because he decided it was too far to walk.

Ka-ching

11 posted on 10/05/2009 5:58:23 PM PDT by Robwin
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To: GSP.FAN
Hey, buddy... Be on the look out for those posting police, ya don't want to mess with 'em...


12 posted on 10/05/2009 5:58:26 PM PDT by lmr (God punishes Conservatives by making them argue with fools.)
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To: DogByte6RER

Hilarious...thanks for making me laugh.


13 posted on 10/05/2009 6:02:52 PM PDT by IMissPresidentReagan (Being brainwashed or mentally deranged is the only way anyone could think BHO is good for USA)
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To: DogByte6RER

PIng


14 posted on 10/05/2009 6:03:07 PM PDT by Batman11 (Obama will dispatch skittle $hitting unicorns around the world to bring peace and prosperity to all!)
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To: DogByte6RER

- Q: If Pelosi and Obama were in a boat and it started to sink, who would be saved?

A: America!!

Indeed!


15 posted on 10/05/2009 6:05:21 PM PDT by Las Vegas Ron (Obama's Blackberry, who's on the other end?)
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To: GSP.FAN
My thnaks for another vanity post....

Yer wcelome

16 posted on 10/05/2009 6:07:11 PM PDT by Las Vegas Ron (Obama's Blackberry, who's on the other end?)
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To: mlizzy

Man, she is one big ugly woman. Did she play linebacker in college?


17 posted on 10/05/2009 6:08:14 PM PDT by RoshYisrael
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Comment #18 Removed by Moderator

To: DogByte6RER

The Greta one was hysterical


19 posted on 10/05/2009 6:11:56 PM PDT by My Favorite Headache
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To: lmr

Why what happens?


20 posted on 10/05/2009 6:14:24 PM PDT by GSP.FAN (These are the times that try men's souls.)
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To: DogByte6RER

What does Obama and Osama have in common? They both have friends that bombed the Pentagon.


21 posted on 10/05/2009 6:15:25 PM PDT by sportutegrl (If liberals could do math, they would be conservatives.)
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To: DogByte6RER; All

Here’s a limerick I wrote:

There now is a POTUS Barak
With the brains of a celery stalk
A post-racial guy
Giving bottomless pie
To constituents dumb as a rock


22 posted on 10/05/2009 6:15:57 PM PDT by rlmorel (Obama, The Flatulence of One Thousand Black Dogs After Eating Boiled Eggs Be Upon Him...)
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To: RoshYisrael

Defensive end.


23 posted on 10/05/2009 6:16:37 PM PDT by alarm rider (The left always tell you who they fear the most. What are they telling you now?)
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To: lmr

Boy, no kidding there.


24 posted on 10/05/2009 6:17:18 PM PDT by rlmorel (Obama, The Flatulence of One Thousand Black Dogs After Eating Boiled Eggs Be Upon Him...)
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To: DogByte6RER

A woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job.

The foreman frowned and said, “I have to ask you this; “Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?”

“Well, as a matter of fact, I have!” she replied.

“I’ve been divorced three times, owned 2 Plymouths, and I voted for Obama.”

Tip o’the hat to Rodney

Barack Obama is an old Kenyan word for Jimmy Carter.

Tip o’the hat to Tyler

Obama doesn’t want terrorists tortured. He wants to torture American taxpayers instead.

Tip o’the hat to Kenneth

Why doesn’t Obama pray?

It’s impossible to read the teleprompter with your eyes closed.

Tip o’the hat to Scott

New Barack Channel (NBC)

Another Barack Channel (ABC)

My Seriously New Barack Channel (MSNBC)

What do you call the US after four years of Obama and the Liberal ccongress?

An Obama nation.

Tip o’the hat to Michael

Q. What will the difference be between President Obama and Karl Marx?

A. Karl Marx had way more experience.

Tip o’the hat to Michael

All from:

http://barackobamajokes.googlepages.com/

In addition a favorite I saw on FR a few days ago about a bumper sticker a poster saw years ago... “If I knew then what I know now, I would have picked my own damned cotton”
/semi racist jokes.


25 posted on 10/05/2009 6:18:50 PM PDT by lovesdogs (10/05/09 - 1091 days left until obama is toast/391 until midterms.)
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To: DogByte6RER
The biggest joke to me is even the libs are turning against him. That's a hoot!

See below from DU. I think they are already tired of Obama and we are tired of Bush/McCain. We might finally have something in common. Government out of control.

#1 Voting Obama in 2012: Not An Option. Toasterlad Oct-05-09 05:52 PM

#2 (same thread) I'm still trying to give him a year before going down that road but it is becoming more difficult.

26 posted on 10/05/2009 6:22:55 PM PDT by ozarkgirl
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To: DogByte6RER

thank you
and i thought jimmah cartoon was humorless.


27 posted on 10/05/2009 6:45:12 PM PDT by genghis
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To: DogByte6RER

Check the tagline.


28 posted on 10/05/2009 6:46:25 PM PDT by OrangeHoof (What's the difference between Obama and Hitler? Hitler wrote his own book.)
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To: DogByte6RER

Cool.


29 posted on 10/05/2009 6:46:35 PM PDT by nomad
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To: RoshYisrael
Man, she is one big ugly woman. Did she play linebacker in college?

The butt that launched a thousand quips.


30 posted on 10/05/2009 6:48:19 PM PDT by Iron Munro (I carry a gun because I’m too young to die and too old to take a beating.)
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To: alarm rider
Defensive end.

Wide...

I can't say it!!! D-:

31 posted on 10/05/2009 6:48:55 PM PDT by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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To: OrangeHoof
What's the difference between Obama and Hitler? Hitler wrote his own book.

What's another difference between Obama and Hitler?

Hitler got the Olympics to come to his country.

32 posted on 10/05/2009 6:52:28 PM PDT by Iron Munro (I carry a gun because I’m too young to die and too old to take a beating.)
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To: Iron Munro

(((snicker)))


33 posted on 10/05/2009 6:53:08 PM PDT by tioga (Drip, Drip, Drip.........the ACORNS are falling.)
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To: DogByte6RER

34 posted on 10/05/2009 6:54:36 PM PDT by WaterBoard (Eventually, Socialists run out of other peoples' money to spend.)
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To: DogByte6RER

Leave Greta alone. She does a good job holding Obubba’s feet to the fire night after night.


35 posted on 10/05/2009 6:55:29 PM PDT by Rastus
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To: DogByte6RER

Bump....


36 posted on 10/05/2009 6:59:21 PM PDT by Intolerant in NJ
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To: Iron Munro

Good grief, not only is her butt big enough for a horse but she is bigger than he is. Isn’t he supposed to be about six foot three?


37 posted on 10/05/2009 7:05:05 PM PDT by RipSawyer (Trying to reason with a leftist is like trying to catch sunshine in a fish net at midnight.)
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To: WaterBoard
They need to strap one of these on that thang.....


38 posted on 10/05/2009 7:06:15 PM PDT by Iron Munro (I carry a gun because I’m too young to die and too old to take a beating.)
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To: Robwin

Copenhagen, one of the 57 states of smokeless tobacco.


39 posted on 10/05/2009 7:16:52 PM PDT by eldoradude (Let's water the tree of liberty with THEIR blood...)
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To: DogByte6RER
Q: What's the difference between a dead weasel and a dead pelosi?

A: Skid marks in front of the weasel.

Obama, outside his new GM covertible known as the pelosi, with the top down. He calls the Secret Service over for assistance. "Yes Sir," says the agent. Obama replies, "Hey man. I locked my keys in the car. Can you help me get them out?"

40 posted on 10/05/2009 7:21:39 PM PDT by eldoradude (Let's water the tree of liberty with THEIR blood...)
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To: DogByte6RER

41 posted on 10/05/2009 7:45:01 PM PDT by Bean Counter (No, I am Jim Thompson!!)
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To: oldskuulconserv

The Pelosi should also keep its bottom up—makes it easier to kick.


42 posted on 10/05/2009 7:47:21 PM PDT by ApplegateRanch (If God didn't want a One Worlder hanging from every tree, He wouldn't have created rope)
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To: Iron Munro

Geez, what a caboose! I didn’t need to see that.


43 posted on 10/05/2009 7:51:20 PM PDT by meatloaf (Obama, Obozo ... what's the difference?)
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To: humblegunner
Special referral to post #12.

Humble you ain't, which leads me to question your "gunner-ness" as well.

No wonder your pony ran away...it had horse sense.

44 posted on 10/05/2009 7:52:46 PM PDT by ApplegateRanch (If God didn't want a One Worlder hanging from every tree, He wouldn't have created rope)
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To: DogByte6RER

These are really lame. Sorry, the thread is a dud.


45 posted on 10/05/2009 7:59:27 PM PDT by Indy Pendance (Live Free Or Die)
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To: DogByte6RER
From a recent e-mail:

Barack Obama got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head.

In sheer panic and fearing he was turning white and might have to start working for a living, he called his doctor and told him of his problem.

The doctor advised him to come to his office immediately. After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Barack, and told him to drink it all.

Barack drank the concoction and replied, 'That tasted like bull shit!'

The doctor replied, 'It was, you were a quart low'.

46 posted on 10/05/2009 7:59:40 PM PDT by Think free or die (The problem with socialism is that you eventually run out of other people's money - M.Thatcher)
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To: DogByte6RER

gonna have to memorize some of those


47 posted on 10/05/2009 8:06:47 PM PDT by adorno (5)
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To: Robwin

Bingo.


48 posted on 10/05/2009 8:09:05 PM PDT by Col Frank Slade
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To: Think free or die

A quart low!

That’s funny!


49 posted on 10/05/2009 8:10:25 PM PDT by Boiler Plate ("Why be difficult, when with just a little more work, you can be impossible" Mom)
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To: GSP.FAN
Vanities are an option You can stop on Your sidebar selections...

Maybe you need to clean up your side before criticizing the poster...

50 posted on 10/05/2009 8:15:36 PM PDT by Randy Larsen ( BTW, If I offend you! Please let me know, I may want to offend you again!)
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