Posted on 10/31/2009 7:40:03 AM PDT by llevrok
Right-wing women rock.
Not for us the sturdy, honest calves of the New Democrat/Green Party female, honed on eco-tourist rainforest hikes.
Those legs are often on unfortunate display, extending from a knee-length tweed skirt as hairy as the legs themselves, and end in a pair of Birkenstocks.
I have yet to see a pair of Birkenstock women's shoes that didn't look like part of the required uniform for police SWAT teams. Sensible shoes are one thing ... quite another to don a pair that look like they're meant for rappelling down the sides of buildings with a Heckler & Koch sniper rifle slung over your shoulder.
The primary reason our womenfolk are at war with the looming spectre of the nanny state is because you can't buy Jimmy Choos in a socialist paradise.
The only sensible footwear you'll find in a right-wing woman's closet are the Nike cross-trainers that go with her gym membership.
Everything else has a three-inch heel. Minimum.
Left-wing drabs recycle. Right-wing women shop -- and the government measures how much they shop every month to find out whether we're still in a recession. Basically, the world economy depends on right-wing women buying shoes.
You never hear a right-wing woman break out statistics pointing out that only 25% of elected offices in Canada are held by women, and then whining about it.
No. A right-wing woman wants to get elected, she runs for office.
If she wins, great. If she loses ... well, there's always more shoe shopping.
Left-wing women burn enormous quantities of fossil fuels to drive across the city to a farmer's market to purchase virtually the same carrot you can get at the neighbourhood Sobey's a couple of blocks from your house for half the price, all in the name of making the environment happy.
A right-wing woman hits the gym, swings past Sobey's and has dinner on the table by the time you get home ... while her left-wing counterpart is still stuck in traffic listening to Sarah McLachlan on her iPod and feeling morally superior about her carrot choices.
And when that plate of food is put in front of you by the right-wing hottie you had the good sense to marry, it will be 100% tofu-free. If you're lucky, she just remembered to buy steak and forgot about the carrot entirely.
Right-wing women have traditional families, so they want to raise them themselves ... or at the very least by a nanny they've vetted, rather than abdicating that responsibility to the state.
They know that the good life costs money ... so they're not sure why the average Canadian is handing -- on average! -- half their income to smarmy government apparatchiks who spend it mostly on stupid crap.
Our women are a genuine asset when they enter politics because they've spent their lives figuring out how to live within their family's means ... while still affording a couple of pairs of those Jimmy Choos.
Because most of them have careers and work hard, they understand the value of a dollar, allowing you a steak lifestyle on a hamburger income ... and they know they can spend their family's money more intelligently than some faceless bureaucrat with a passion for public art or totalitarian city planning.
Right-wing women are essentially libertarians ... they don't take well to being bossed around and they don't like bossing other people around unless it's to tell them they can't spend money.
If they can tell their kid he can't have the newest Xbox upgrade and make it stick ... if they can make a husband understand it makes more sense to put money in an RRSP than going to the Super Bowl with the guys every year ... if they can pull all that off, then fixing health care shouldn't be too big a stretch.
And in case you're not convinced, to indicate the utter superiority of the right-wing woman over the left-wing variant ... just turn on The View.
The left has Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg.
We've got Elisabeth Hasselbeck.
Checkmate.
Of course we rock, was there ever any doubt ?
By the way, right wing men are hot.....
My Manolos and my Jimmies (Choos) are not only gorgeous, the spike heels make great weapons!!!
And Ann Coulter, Michelle Bachman, Sarah Palin, Michele Malkin, Bo Derek and on and on.
Don’t forget Sarah Elizabeth Cupp.
Those are perfect for stomping on the face of a whiny spoiled liberal brat.
Nailed it.
Being a right-wing woman who happens to wear Birkenstocks because they are the only shoe that I can wear for any length of time without my knees screaming in pain, I take issue with a large portion of this article. OH - and all the lefty Hollywood types wear Jimmy Choo’s so there! LOL
That said, however, the rest of the article is true.
A few years ago I thought Garafolo was hot in a sleazy way. Like if you were fresh out prison you’d flip over her.
i worked for a Fortune 300 for years and in the engineering buildings all you had to do was look at their shoes to see if they were there to work or to find an engineer type meal ticket. the ones there to work wore sensible shoes to work, or changed to sneakers/etc once at work.
the ones wearing heals, well...
LOL! Well said Latina! Let this person develop plantar fasciatis and get a heel spur out of it and they will change their mind about Berkinstocks, Naots, Mephistos ets. Here’s to your knees, hope they are doing well.
Sorry she looks like a hooker on Sunset. Just my option.
LOL! Yur funny.....Have you seen current pics of this witch? She has put on at least 25-30 lbs!
Weight Watchers is currently offering free registration!
Or he borrows them from her..
sw
IMHO it's a classy look.
Well. Guess I’m a closet liberal.
I have no heels (and damned few of those) over 2 inches. Who the hell is Choo? Is that the guy who has women getting their little toes cut off so they can wear his too-narrow-for-human shoes?
I wear Birkenstocks, Crocs, and Cobbie Cuddlers. My feet don’t hurt when I walk a Tea Party. But I must be there as a spy, since I’m a liberal.
Your mama wears combat boots!!
This was a huge put down when I was a kid.
How times have changed, women love those combat boots today~!
She borrows from him: only if his can fit six toes ...
He borrows from her: only if hers fits a cloven hoof
Have you seen current pics of this witch? She has put on at least 25-30 lbs!
Aunt Esther has always had a big caboose. But you are right. It is getting more difficult to get the train out of the station.
Exactly. All of the lookers are on our team. We have brains and beauty on our side.
It’s basic cause & effect. Really unattractive women are angry all the time so they naturally are drawn to the left’s anti everything posture.
The real reason they hate Palin so much is she’s hot & has a real hunk for a faithful & supportive hubby.
I love heels but they don’t love me. All my heels are now under 2 1/2 inches. When I’m at a teaparty I wear sneakers... much more comfortable than heels to protest in anyway. :)
(those aren't 3 Musketeers boots - they're camo Wellies with the tops turned down, that pic was taken in July (hence the French Foreign Legion hat).)
Keep in mind that SOME conservative women DO wear that kind of footwear. But only on duty.
Why did you have to post that, i was having a good day and hoping to see some pretty shoes on this post. :)
This is not a thread about the NFL. But what team does he play for? Don’t recognize him.
But this one has more expensive handbags and she looks like a hooker
getting out of her pimps limo.
I really do wish I could still wear pretty high heels. My legs always looked great in them, but alas, birkenstocks it is...lol
I love heels too, but after three surgeries on my feet and knees, they certainly don’t love me. I keep them around for dog-and-pony shows at work and Christmas parties.
I carry comfortable shoes to change into after the canine/equine event and when we leave the festivities.
What the heck are those garden tools?
Now that looks great.
LOL! So do I! I bring my moccasins to change into in the car, once we leave the event. By then my feet are screaming!
In addition to being liberal because I wear Birks, I must be turning homo too. That woman is HOT.
I’d love to see her take a broom to Washington.
Are those for scuba divers and snorkelers who want their legs to look great while in the water?
Oh brother! Just imagine flopping down the street in those!
I agree! That’s why libs are so afraid of her.
ANOTHER sasquatch sighting!
Whoever wrote this is full of it!
Birks are comfortable. So are my Lands’ End water treckers and my very low wide-heal pumps that worked well when I was working in a production facility where I had to walk on wet, slippery grid floors.
B) That's very easy for me since the darn things don't come in humongous.
:)
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