Eat your pets, save the planet

The Washington Times ^ | November 5, 2009 | Editorial

[Abakumov]

Want to save the planet? Kill your pets. Or better yet, eat them. This radical new suggestion comes from New Zealand professors Brenda and Robert Vale, architects who specialize in sustainable living. Their research has found that pets create tremendous strains on the environment and that a truly green world would have no place for these carbon-emitting parasites.

[Question Liberal Authority]

If you want to be really sustainable, you should eat more insects.

[freedumb2003]

>>If you want to be really sustainable, you should eat more insects.<<

Or just die and let the insects eat you.

[Doogle]

...?????..would that screw me out of my $3500 tax rebate?

[Question Liberal Authority]

There was a time, not too long ago, when all animals were judged by their "usefulness" to human beings. Horses were way up at the top of the list in the pre-automobile age. Same with oxen, cows, goats, etc.

In a truly 'sustainable' environment, cats and dogs are fairly useful. That's why so many of them became pets. Cats kill pests which each your food. Dogs can be trained to corral sheep, fight predators, catch game, bark at intruders, etc.

[Diana in Wisconsin]

My Basset Hound objects to being called a 'parasite.' He's driving around in his car looking for PETA Phreaks to run over.

[grey_whiskers]

NO!!! Save teh kittehs!

...sheesh, what did you THINK that picture meant?

Cheers!

[E. Pluribus Unum]

Save the Planet. Eat a Liberal. And not in the biblical sense.

[goodnesswins]

I’d eat a Liberal before I’d eat my dog.

[oyez]

I hope Brenda and Robert Vale haven’t reproduced and have neutered themselves.

[DirtyHarryY2K]

There was a time, not too long ago, when humans had common sense...

[HerrBlucher]

My cats kill pests but first they bring them into the house to play with them for a while. Sometimes they get away. I awoke to a small, and very angry, gopher snake next to my bed last week, and last night I had to chase a rat out of the house.

Anyone who believes in anthropogenic global warming needs to kill themselves immediately to save the planet.

[HerrBlucher]

I would wager they are anti C02 alarmism and are just having fun.

[Gorzaloon]

Hence the title of their new book: "Time to Eat the Dog? The Real Guide to Sustainable Living."

How about MY new book, "Let's Slaughter, Gut, and Eat EnviroWankers and End The Bullshit"?

(Self published, of course.)

[KJC1]

How about these crazy loons take a flying leap and stop breathing my animals’ air?

[MountainDad]

Got a better idea.........my labs eat Brenda and Robert.

[tbw2]

How does eating your pets go over with vegetarians and vegans?

[oyez]

The the way things are going we are going to have to rely on horses and other beasts of burden because we won't be able to afford our mechanical “beasts” anymore.

[tbw2]

If eating pets is good for the planet, how does cannibalism rank? All I can think of, though, was that weird lady who at the placenta ... and put it on Facebook.

[Wonder Warthog]

"This radical new suggestion comes from New Zealand professors Brenda and Robert Vale, architects who specialize in sustainable living."

I have an alternative suggestion. Kill professors Brenda and Robert Vale, and use them for pet food.

[Nervous Tick]

>> Or just die and let the insects eat you.

Offing yourself for the planet it the manly way to prove you’re seriously “green”.

(Do it in a secluded place where no one will find the body, and in a few weeks you really WILL be “green”, eh?)

[Wonder Warthog]

Beautiful kittens! Yours??

[Nervous Tick]

>> I have an alternative suggestion. Kill professors Brenda and Robert Vale, and use them for pet food.

Yeah, that would work! And if Fido develops a taste for eco-freaks, well, there’s plenty more where they came from...

Algore himself would feed a couple hungry Rottweilers for a year or so.

[Salamander]

Save the planet.

Eat an environmentalist.

[Nervous Tick]

>> If eating pets is good for the planet, how does cannibalism rank?

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed the ecologist in the jungle?

[grey_whiskers]

Sorry, no.

I stole the pic from some long-gone crevo thread, years ago.

Cheers!

[TXnMA]

Better yet, send the Valiant Vales here to Eastern Texas — to kill and eat all the feral hogs who are polluting the environment while tearing up our places...

[Salamander]

I have a 13 week old Dobermann pup who’s growing like a weed and *always* hungry.

Fat Albert wouldn’t last him a week.

[Odin just *loves* raw meat]

[Question Liberal Authority]

I would wager they are anti C02 alarmism and are just having fun.

Reading the reviews on Amazon, I get the impression that this is a deadly serious, deadly dull book about sustainability which somehow got saddled with a catchy title. It's possible that some wag at the publishers was having fun with the title, but the actual authors are apparently serious as a heart attack and about as much fun as a toothache.

[Indy Pendance]

If these idiots are so concerned, they should kill themselves first. Let’s see what happens then. They can be our test cases.

[Wonder Warthog]

"I stole the pic from some long-gone crevo thread, years ago."

That fits. Cats are obviously the pinnacle of evolution.

Alternatively, when God created man, he was looking for something like a dog, an obedient creature. What He got instead was something more like a cat.

[Salamander]

Turn loose a pack of Portuguese Podengo Grandes.

Pig problem solved.

[HerrBlucher]

If they are serious then they need counseling and lots of prozac, as does anyone that believes in AGW.

[Professional Engineer]

Save a dog, burn a treehugger.

[tbw2]

No. Nor was I specifically joking. We’re rapidly sliding to anything goes.
I don’t mind if the liberals eat each other, but it does become a new reason to never invite them to dinner.

[shredderman]

Soylent Green!!!!!!!!!! Or better yet, “How to serve Humans”....Cookbook, or something else??????

[The Magical Mischief Tour]

[freedumb2003]

>>Offing yourself for the planet it the manly way to prove you’re seriously “green”.

(Do it in a secluded place where no one will find the body, and in a few weeks you really WILL be “green”, eh?)<<

That is the problem with libtards — they always want someone ELSE to do the sacrifice. For them, it is al gore-city: a/c, trimmed lawn, procreation, life itself.

[Nervous Tick]

>> No.

Think alternative, perhaps vulgar, definitions of the verb “to pass”.

>> Nor was I specifically joking.

Yeah, I figured you were serious.

[freedumb2003]

Dude!

I am trying to be POd but my laughter keeps screwing it up!

[freedumb2003]

>>Did you hear about the cannibal who passed the ecologist in the jungle?<<

How about the cannibal who refuses to eat clowns because they taste funny?

[freedumb2003]

>>>There was a time, not too long ago, when humans had common sense...<<

Yesterday, but only in VA and NJ... ;)

[freedumb2003]

>>I stole the pic from some long-gone crevo thread, years ago.<<

Every stolen pic I post, I do with a completely somber expression as if I had created it myself.

In fact, over 105% of all pics I post are stolen.

Remember Gibb’s Rule 22: Never apologize

[Nervous Tick]

Speaking of picky cannibals, I know of one who won’t eat divorced women. They’re bitter.

[Question Liberal Authority]

If they are serious then they need counseling and lots of prozac

Agreed. What 'resources' does the typical pet 'consume'? Most of it is by-products which are unusable for humans. Humans can't eat grass. Grass covers most of the land surface of the Earth. Cows eat grass. Then cows give milk. Humans consume the milk and milk products. Some cattle are male. Males don't produce milk. But they produce beef. Humans eat beef. But they don't eat the entire critter. Parts of the beef critter wind up in cans of Friskies and Alpo.

Pet dogs love to chew on pig ears. What resources do they consume by doing so? Are they really preventing a human being from chewing on the same pig ear? Would the planet be better off if pig ears were tossed into land fills because we ate all the dogs?

Cows are also prodigious manufacturers of cow manure, which can be used to grow plants, which can be used to feed cattle. If you were alone on a plot of land with no human contact for 20 years, you could survive growing plants and raising cattle. That should be the dictionary definition of the word "sustainable".

The authors of this book appear to be experts at manufacturing bull crap as well. However, their brand of crap won't sustain your life as well as that which comes from the back end of a cow.

[freedumb2003]

>>Speaking of picky cannibals, I know of one who won’t eat divorced women. They’re bitter.<<

Or gay dudes — they suck.

[MIchaelTArchangel]

If you replace “pet” with “liberal” in this story, it makes just as much sense and is much more satisfying to read.

[fieldmarshaldj]

Liberals = these carbon-emitting parasites.

[Kirkwood]

Hippies are not so good eatin’. They are very hard to clean and under all that fur, they tend to be pretty scrawny.

[wafflehouse]

WTF are these pointy headed braindead fools thinking?
did their parents have any kids that lived?